A/N: hmm, my 1st fic. Don't expect much, I'm a total newbie. But I hope you like it, I'm trying to make this as good as possible. This is a bit of thinking Raven does, when she's alone. Plz review after reading. Thx a lot guyz. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything, except for my soul.

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I'm...alone

Alone. Finally, I'm alone! We just came back from a fight with Cinderblock. The others decided to relax in the common room by watching that stupid TV. I closed my door, so that I can't hear it. I'll have to meditate for the rest of the day, so I warned them not to disturb me. I hope we won't have to fight against any other criminal today. I feel, that I couldn't control my emotions, if we had to go on a mission.

I don't know why, but in the last few days I've been losing control of my powers. Even Beast Boy's usual annoying jokes make me want to destroy everything around. Of course I seem to be calm, but deep inside my soul...

I'm fighting. Fighting for sanity, fighting to remain as normal as I can be. Fighting against all the hatred, anger, frustration, that's built up in me. And I feel, that I'm losing this battle. Now I have to meditate almost all day to keep my emotions in check. But it's not enough. More and more my emotions are forcing their way out of me. I can feel as they are killing me from the inside. They are suffocating me, forcing their way out. And I don't know how long I can keep them back. Nothing like this has ever happened to me.

It all started a week ago. I was reading my book in the common room as I always do, when I'm not meditating. The others went out to get some pizza, because all the food in our fridge is overgrown by disgusting blue fungus. I remained in the tower. They tried to take me with them, but I really wasn't intrested to hear a typical fight between Cyborg and Beast Boy about the "true food". So I stayed at home, to finish reading my book. The time went by so quickly, that I haven't noticed that it was already beggining to get dark. I heard as they arrived with the T-car. Cyborg and Beast Boy were still arguing, and then challenged each other to a duel in a stupid video game. I've decided to go to the roof, so I can avoid their shouting at each other while they're playing. As I was going to the roof I noticed that Robin and Starfire were standing in the hallway too close to each other. Too close for friends. They were whispering something to each other, and were obviously blushing. I wanted to leave them, but in a second they hugged and kissed! I couldn't believe it! Robin and Starfire kissing? I was shocked, so I just ran quickly to the stairs which lead to the roof. Luckily they didn't see or hear me. My heart was beating so fast I thought it's going to jump out of my chest. I tried to calm myself down, but nothing worked. The image of them kissing, the sight of their lips pressing against each other was the only thing I could think of. I've known that they had had a crush on each other for a long time, but to actually kiss? It was just unbelievable.

And since that accident my control over my powers was slipping. The others haven't noticed yet, but I can feel it. And now I know why is this happening. Because I'm afraid. Afraid, that I'll never find love, that I'll be forever alone. I know, that I could hurt others, if my emotions get out of control, but sometimes I just wish to be seen. To feel alive. To forget my demon side and laugh at Beast Boy's jokes. To hang out with my friends, to enjoy life as everyone else on this DAMNED PLANET! WHY? WHY CAN'T I BE HAPPY, WHY DID I HAVE TO BE BORN LIKE THIS? I DESERVE A BETTER FATE THAN THIS, AFTER ALL THE SACRIFICES, AFTER ALL THE SADNESS I DESERVE MUCH MORE! THE OTHERS CAN FIND LOVE! I DESERVE LOVE AS WELL! YET NO ONE HAD EVER LOVED ME. AND NO ONE EVER WILL. I HATE THIS! I HATE MYSELF, I HATE THE WORLD, THE PEOPLE, LIFE AND THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE! IF I COULD JUST... Wait. What's happened? For a moment it felt like my emotions had taken me over. And I see, that my room is wrecked. Books lay on the floor, mirrors cracked, windows broken. Did I do this? I couldn't! I-I can control my emotions better, than to let them out. But if this happened to my room, then...

Oh no! I must find the others! I run to the common room as fast as I can. Please let them be okay! The hallway is almost completely destroyed. Wires and pipes were torn out of walls. The floor is littered with glass everywhere. I finally get to the kitchen. The door isn't in it's place. It's deeply embedded into the wall on the right. The whole room is a mess. Plates and cups, shattered or cracked objects everywhere. No, I couldn't have done this! Yet I know the truth. It was me. No one else. Just me. But I have to find the others. As I walk through the rubble I notice a pile of debris, probably a part of the roof. It's exactly where we had the table. And as I walk closer I notice that there are two figures under the rocks. I quickly run to them. They are completely burried beneath the rocks. I use my healing abilities to sense whether they're alive. Nothing. Their hearts are silent like the night. They're...dead. I see pieces of pink clothes and a green glove. Robin and Starfire. No, this can't be real! And what about the others? I run into the next room, where Cyborg and Beast Boy used to play video games. The carnage is shocking. Every single window has exlpoded, glass shards are stuck into the walls like bullets. And on the couch are two players. Beneath them...blood. I'm scared of what I'll see, but I decide to take a look at them. In the next moment I regret my choice. I vomit as I see two boys, each of them has a controller in their hands. Their bodies have cuts all over. Shards in their arms, torsos... and their heads as well. It seems, that the TV has exploded while they were leaning close to it, trying to concetrate during the game. I check their signs of life. Nothing. They're dead as well. I killed them. I killed all of them.

So, here I am, sitting on my bed. It's quiet. And it will be quiet forever. Because I killed the people, who cared for me. My friends. My companions. I'm getting irritated by this silence. For the first time in my life I wish I could hear them arguing over food. I wish I could hear one of Beast Boy's lame jokes, Starfire's laughter, Robin's commands.

But I won't. Never again. Because I'm alone.

Forever.

Alone.

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A/N: So that's all folks. I know it's kinda sad, but I can't help it. I feel alone as well, so I guess that's my source of inspiration for this. Reviews please. If I get enough of them I might make another story like this. Any critics welcome, but write how you truly felt about this. Thx guyz, see you later.