Hi everyone! Well this is my first story, and it's really goofy! So hold on tight and please bear with me. Also the"//" are supposed to be actions while the people are talking. I tried to do the star thing (you know, the multiplication symbol?) to make it a little less confusing, but this stupid site keeps erasing them!
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ, if I did there would have been an explanatory chapter on how Bulma and Vegeta got together (glares evilly at Akira)
The Piggy Hut
One day Bulma finally got sick and tired of seeing Vegeta sitting around on his fat ass while she was left to constantly "bring home the bacon" , so she sent him away to the Piggy Hut, a family restaurant where pizza and burgers were served undercooked, greasy and brown! The Piggy Hut was the perfect place to go out and get fat and also the perfect place to see our proud Prince Vegeta wearing a pink wardrobe with all the latest Piggy Hut items and cute accessories. Bulma's favorite item was the flashing Piggy Hut underwear that were glittery and oinked when Vegeta sat down. Now I bet your confused right? You're thinking " Why the hell would Vegeta do all this?"… Well the answer is very simple; the pink, piggy accessories are a "turn on" in Bulma's book of turn-ons.
You sly dog! Vegeta thought to himself. All Vegeta had to do was oink and roll around in his piggy outfit and, um, well you know the rest . Ok, this story starts with Vegeta's first day working at the Piggy Hut.
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Vegeta: So how do you open this accursed pink register?!
Vegeta was trying to the best of his ability to not blast the offending register, which, unfortunately for the register, Vegeta was sadly lacking.
Manager: Well….first you push "open"
Vegeta's attention was diverted from the pink register to the short, bald and fat manager that foolishly used sarcasm with HIM the Prince of all Saiyans!
Vegeta: Are YOU mocking me, the Prince of all Saiyans?!
Manager: Yes, yes I am because I'm the Prince of the Piggy Hut and I own you!!
The disgustingly pink decorated restaurant suddenly turned red as the baka human actually challenged his authority!
Vegeta: Vegeta obeys no one!!!!!
Suddenly an oink was heard and Vegeta was distracted from his third person speech to see Bulma walking through the Piggy Hut entrance.
Bulma stopped and slowly examined the place. After her critical observations a happy smile spread across her pretty face. Bulma was so proud of her little worker man, he had already made it a whole hour with not a single scorch mark in the whole restaurant! Her smile still in full bloom she walked up to the pink and yellow counter .
Bulma: What's going on? I know your being a good boy, right?
Bulma turns her attention to the grossly overweight manager and winks as she addresses him.
Bulma: Make sure he behaves himself ok //she then reaches in her pocket and pulls out a capsule. She pushes the button and after the smoke clears a wooden paddle with a leather bound handle and large holes is visible. Bulma then gives the manager the paddle// If he starts misbehaving just punish him with this!
Vegeta warily glances at the paddle.
With a wave Bulma walks out of the Piggy Hut. As she does both Vegeta and the manager stare at her backside.
Manager: Wow, your one lucky employee to have such a nice pair of legs and rack to go home to!
Vegeta stands in place for a second then slowly lifts his hand.
Vegeta (barley over a whisper) goodbye...
He then blasts the horny bald manager into another dimension. As the smoke clears Vegeta notices the paddle that had dropped to the floor. Vegeta bends over and picks the slightly burnt paddle up and examines it carefully. A slow maniacal grin spreads across his regal face. Vegeta then jumps up onto the counter and does the Macarena while swinging the paddle over his head and making the Zena warrior scream. (A/N: I love that image xD) Unbeknownst to him Bulma had simply gone back to her car to bring in a couple individuals for lunch.
Goku: Wow Vegeta, your wearing my favorite color!
Vegeta: uh…. It wasn't me //shifty eyes// it was that guy!!!
He points to a child that is slightly overweight and approximately four years old
Child: Nuh- huh you stupid poopoohead!!!
Bulma: Tell us the whole story you porky kid!
Child: Well…. Vegetablehead got this pouty look then BOOM //waves hands enthusiastically// and the fat guy was gone!!! He ha ho he haha ho he ha!!!
Bulma: Is that true Vegeta?!
Vegeta: NO, of course not //sweating profusely with more shifty eyes// that kid doesn't know his butt from his pizza!!!
Vegeta suddenly remembers he dropped the paddle after Bulma had reentered. He then glances back at his blue haired wife to see her holding the opposing paddle in one hand and malevolently hitting her other hand with it.
Trunks: Uh, dad…I think you should tell mom the truth.
Suddenly a shadowy figure opened the squealing door.
Mr. Popo: What is everybody looking at? Mr. Popo is an average human being!
Mr. Popo is wearing a blue tube top and sparkly flared jeans. He also is wearing bright red high heels, and Bulma's stolen lipstick.
Bulma: HEY!!! You JERK!! That's my tube top and my eye shadow! My lipstick!! You THEIF!!!!! Vegeta blast his black ass back to Kami's place now!! (A/N: FYI, I'm not discriminatory, I just love to pick on Mr. Popo!!)
Vegeta grins evilly. He then slowly lifts his hand. Seeing the oncoming danger Mr. Popo tears his clothes off and runs/waddles as fast as his pudge can carry him.
Goku: I didn't need to see that, how about you guys?
In response, everyone sticks their tongues out and make gagging noises.
Another squeal as four figures walk in the door.
Bulma: Is that you Oolang?
Chichi: No I am NOT Oolang!!!!
Chichi is currently holding Gotens hand and Gohan is with Videl behind the other two.
Goten: I want Piggy pizza!! I want Piggy pizza!! I want Piggy Pizza!! Oh, hi Vegeta!! I want Piggy pizza!!
Vegeta swallows a bottle of Advil.
Chichi: We better get a discount , or else!
Vegeta: If you can make your bratty Goten shut his punk mouth I'll give you all the pizza your bitchy mouth can hold!
Trunks: No dad!! You'll go out of business!!!!
Goten becomes strangely quiet as he stares at the pink pig hat sitting atop Vegeta's dangerous amounts of spiky black hair.
Videl is currently sucking on Gohan's nose, strangely enough he is enjoying it and moaning.
Goku: Oh it's you Videl….. You are a stupid POOPOOHEAD//anger flashes through Goku's body like electricity through a dead light bulb// (A/N: Like the comparison? XD)I will never give up my little Gohan//The argument is interrupted by a small kissy sound// Supreme Kai?!!
Kepito and Supreme Kai are arm in arm and walking slowly into the Piggy Hut as the squeal is once again heard throughout the restaurant. Everyone stares in bewilderment at the pinky-purple mismatched "item".
Bulma: ………..How did you get your face so pink?
Kepito: Um…..um…rrrrr….Bronzer?
Supreme Kai: This moment never happened //he throws sparkly stuff into the air as he and his life partner run out the door.//
Goku: Wait I need those pants!!!!
Goku runs out the door after the unique couple. Meanwhile everyone has forgotten the previous moment except for Goku who everyone assumes is insane!
Goku runs back into the Piggy Hut with blue parachute pants a humongous grin knowing hat Supreme Kai wears green boxers with Big Bird on them.
Vegeta: Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on?!!
Goten: I can! I can! I can! Wait what?
Videl: I want my damn pizza now!
Goku: Shut up you stupid Poopoohead!!
Gohan: She may be a Poopoohead, but she's my Popoohead!!
Vegeta: I don't care who is who's whatever!!!!
Bulma: Your Mine Vegeta!
Perhaps it was the extreme state of confusion or the side effects of swallowing an entire bottle of Advil at once, but Vegeta's mind finally snapped. Vegeta grabs Bulma and kisses her chin… hard, then rips off his clothes and runs naked out of the Piggy Hut.
Goku: Well I guess I'm the only one brave enough to go after him//rips clothes off and places Supreme Kai's pants over Videl's head.// There, now I can't see your butt ugly face! runs out the door
Everyone leaves except for Bulma.
Bulma: Oh why, why did you have to do this?! We had something so special…… //she picks up the pink underwear as a single tear roles down her face. Bulma then flings the undies across the room. Suddenly in midair Mr. Popo appears (still naked) and catches the pink undergarment and flies away with them.//
Mr. Popo: Mr. Popo likes his new underwear! He ha ho he he ha ho haha he//He puts the underwear on his overfat, rolling underside and they squeeze his fat// Oh, Mr. Popo has little love handles!
Mr. Popo sits down after a hard day's work " oink, oink, squeal!" echoed his new underwear. Now all through the heavens you can hear the "oink, oink, squeal!" and know that Mr. Popo really exists!
FIN or is it?
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So whatcha think? Please review, I had a lot of fun writing this and I have Sequels prepared if people like this one. Thanks for reading!!!!