¡Feliz Cumpleaños, Gaz!
An Invader Zim Fanfiction by KidKourage
Part 1—Kotchi wo Muite!
It would appear that I am overstepping my boundaries and making up birthdays for characters again. Ah, well, you are smart enough to know that this is fanfiction, that I own nothing, and that I am insane enough to come up with things like this. You will forgive me, yes? Incidentally, this particular birthday date has the official 'Mike-the-Brother Seal of Approval;' that is, he didn't start yelling at me to go away and quit bothering him when I told him. I love that kid so much. By the way, the title of this chapter comes from the title one of my favorite anime songs, 'Kotchi wo Muite,' sung by Li Meiling of 'CardCaptor Sakura.' It translates roughly as 'look this way,' or 'look at me.' Don't worry, it'll all become clear in a few minutes.
The scene is the Moorestown mall, where the gang is just hanging out and having fun on another Sunday afternoon—February 24, 2002. Something important is about to happen, so watch out for it. ^_^
Dib (talking very animatedly): And I really think Dad's going to finally give me his lab under the house. You know they're building the new Membrane Labs on Route 130, right? Well, he keeps saying that he'll be doing most of his work there now, so he won't be using the old lab at the house at all.
KidK (gleeful anime-skoolgirl style): Chance! That's so cool, Dib—now you'll have even more space to work on your paranormal research.
Mike-the-Brother (sarcastically): Yeah, maybe now you'll finally catch Bigfoot. I'm so sure.
Dib: Nonbeliever! You wouldn't sound so sure of yourself if you knew all that I know!
Zim: You know nothing, filthy Dib-child. Your head is big, but your brain is oh so small.
Dib: My head is not big! And even if it was, at least I'm gonna grow into it someday…unlike you!
Zim: …shut up! I will destroy you!
Dib: You will not. Pretty soon I'm gonna have an all-new lab to work in,
and I'm gonna use it to develop foolproof technology to capture and dissect you! Dad'll probably be giving me the lab next week, as a matter of fact. My birthday is coming up then, and—
KidK: Oooo, your birthday? Why didn't you tell me? What day?
Dib: March 4. This next Monday.
KidK: Geez, that doesn't give me much time. I've gotta go buy party stuff, and of course your gift…and stuff!
Gir (screeching): I'm making the cake! We're gonna have jellybeans an' chocolate bubblegum an' nachos an' tater skins an'…soup!
Dib: Oh, I don't need a big party or anything…
Zim: Right, don't waste your time on him.
KidK (ignoring Zim): Yeah you do!
Dib: …well, if you insist.
Gaz (angrily): Of course. Of course we'll have a party for you, Dib. I mean, it is your (venomously) 'special day,' after all. Why shouldn't we all drop everything to sing your praises? I'm out of here. (she storms away in the direction of the Game Stop)
Mike-the-Brother: Hey, Gaz, wait up! (he runs after her)
Gaz (calling back): Stay away from me, Mike!
Mike-the-Brother (stopping abruptly): Oh. ………………okay. (he trudges back to the others)
Gir: Why did Gazzy get all screamy, Missy?
KidK: Yeah, what was that all about?
Dib: I have no i—oh. Oh, God! Geez, what a jerk! I can't believe I just did that.
KidK: Did what?
Dib: I forgot that Gaz's birthday is this week too. Some brother I am.
KidK: Don't be too hard on yourself. It's natural to get all excited about your birthday. And you remembered now. So, what day is it?
Dib: Actually, her real birthday is February 29. Leap Day.
Gir: Leap Day! I'm gonna jump and jump!
Dib: But there is no 29th most years, so we usually celebrate on March 1…or rather, usually we don't.
KidK: What do you mean?
Dib: See, our birthdays are so close together, and Dad is so busy, that normally he can only get one day off from his work this time of year, and that's the day we go out to celebrate both our birthdays. It's really been that way ever since Gaz was born. And to make it worse…usually the day Dad picks is my birthday, not hers. God, I feel like such a moron! First Dad barely remembers her at all, and now I forget completely!
Mike-the-Brother: Forget you, Dib. Shut up about how you feel bad about it, and let's consider how Gaz must feel! She's probably been hoping for her whole life that somebody would do something special for her birthday and only her birthday, and nobody has! Well, no more!
KidK: Sounds like you have an idea, Mike.
Zim (muttering): His first for the year…
Mike-the-Brother: I do! We're gonna have the biggest party ever this Friday night…just for Gaz!
Gir: Whee! Gaz-chan no paati!
KidK: Cool! We'll get pizza from every different pizza place in the county!
Mike-the-Brother: Yeah! And we'll have video game tournaments until midnight!
KidK: Oh, way past then!
Gir: I wanna be Princess!
Mike-the-Brother: You can't, Gir. We don't have Smash Brothers Melee, or even a Game Cube for that matt—that's it! That's what we'll do!
KidK: I think I'm thinking what you're thinking, brother! We'll all put our money together and get Gaz a Game Cube and a bunch of games! She's been talking about getting one ever since it came out.
Mike-the-Brother: Yeah! Good idea, Gir!
Gir (patting himself on the back): Good idea, me!
Zim: This is not happening in my base. I just barely got it repaired after the whole Sammi incident.
Dib: Don't worry. I think I can handle that part of the preparations…I have to have a talk with Dad first, though.
Zim: Is this going to be another one of those 'surprising parties?'
Mike-the-Brother: Oh, yeah! We hafta keep it a secret all week! That shouldn't be a problem for KidK, cuz she hasta be at skool, but the rest of you hafta zip your lips. I can get Mom to take me during the week to buy the Game Cube and stuff, and after we pick up KidK on Friday afternoon we're gonna hafta work quickly to get everything set up and get the pizza ordered.
Zim: I don't care about that. I just wanted to know if there was going to have to be some kind of elaborate plan to keep the Gaz-girl out of her house for several hours…because I am not going to be the one to do that this time.
KidK: She'd never fall for it if you asked her to go anywhere anyway, Zim. That's gonna have to be Mike's job.
Mike-the-Brother: What?!
KidK: You have to ask Gaz out on Friday evening so we can get everything set up wherever Dib has in mind, and then you have to make sure she comes there.
Mike-the-Brother (looking embarrassed): It…doesn't have to be a…date…does it?
KidK: Of course not! It'll just be two bestest friends going somewhere to have fun together. Like when Zim took me to dinner and a movie before I started skool.
Mike-the-Brother: Like…you and Zim?! No way! That was a date, and you know it!
Zim: It was not a date!
Dib: Who cares? Mike, you're the only one she'll agree to go out with.
Mike-the-Brother: Can you please stop saying 'go out with?'
Dib: Fine. You're the only she'll agree to go somewhere with.
Mike-the-Brother: That's right. But…you saw how mad she was. Do you think she'll even want to go anywhere with me?
KidK: Oh, I think she will. You just have to ask nicely. Oh, I know! Make it sound like you want to take her out for her birthday! That way, you'll look like the gallant gentleman, and she won't suspect that there'll be even more fun waiting for her when she gets home!
Mike-the-Brother: Okay. I'll go find her. She has to come home with us anyway.
KidK: You do that. We'll go wait for you in the car.
Mike-the-Brother: Good! (he runs off in search of Gaz)
KidK (admonishing tone): And I don't want to hear any taunts out of any of you boys, either.
Zim: But…he dared ridicule me when I was in the same situation.
KidK: Then it's up to you to be the bigger man about this and not retaliate.
Dib: Zim can't possibly be the bigger man.
Gir: Master's bigger than me! Missy, can I do all the cooking?
KidK: Well, we're getting pizza like I said, but I guess you can make the cake and get all the drinks and snacks together and stuff. And you can definitely go with me to get the pizza.
Gir: Neato! I'm gonna make a big cake that's all purple like Gazzy!
KidK: I'm sure she'll love it.
Dib: Remember, now, to really make this work perfectly, you have to completely drop the idea of having a party for me. And don't give me any gifts, either.
Zim: I wasn't going to, Dib-monkey.
KidK: But I've got to get you something.
Dib: No! Nothing is going to accidentally overshadow my sister's party!
KidK: Well…if that's what you really want. That's really sweet of you, Dibby. ^_^ You're a good brother.
Dib: Wait until Friday before you decide on that. I've got…plans.
Meanwhile, Mike has finally caught up to Gaz in the mall's Hot Topic.
Mike-the-Brother: Hey, Gaz.
Gaz: ……..I thought I told you not to follow me.
Mike-the-Brother: But KidK says it's time to go home.
Gaz: So? I'll catch a bus or something later. (she goes back to looking at a display of neat goth-y earrings)
Mike-the-Brother: You know, those little skull ones are kinda cool. I don't know anything about jewelry, but I'll bet they'd look nice on you. They match your necklace, I mean.
Gaz: Tch. I guess so.
Mike-the-Brother (picking up the earrings): Here, I'll get them for you. Kind of like an early birthday present, you know?
Gaz: How…how do you know when my birthday is?
Mike-the-Brother: Oh, you must've told me at some point. I don't really remember. It's Friday, right? Well, not really, cuz you've got that really sweet Leap Year thing going on, but…
Gaz: ……..
Mike-the-Brother: I'll just go buy these, then. (he goes over to the counter and is treated to the usual Moorestown Hot Topic reprise of 'oh, man, the computerized cash register system just doesn't work too good,' then comes back to where Gaz is standing) Here you go.
Gaz (taking the bag in a stunned kind of way): …thanks.
They leave the store and start the walk through the mall to the exit.
Mike-the-Brother: And you know what else I was thinking? We should go somewhere Friday to celebrate.
Gaz: No. I am not going on a date with you.
Mike-the-Brother: Ew, no! Not a date! Gross! I just mean we could go see a movie and tear it up or something.
Gaz (looking up at Mike skeptically): You can't even drive.
Mike-the-Brother: I'll get my parents to take us and then go see something totally stupid by themselves. Come on, it'll be fun!
Gaz: Isn't that KidK's line?
Mike-the-Brother: Anybody can say it!
Gaz: Okay, okay, I'll go. But you'd better not try to turn it into something creepy, or I will cave your skull in with a sledgehammer.
Mike-the-Brother: So, what time should I pick you up on Friday? Around four? That way, I'll have you home by dinner time.
Gaz: You cheapskate. Not even buying me dinner.
Mike-the-Brother: You want dinner? We could—
Gaz: No, I'm just messing with your mind. Four's okay. Oh, and Mike?
Mike-the-Brother: Yeah?
Gaz: Thank you.
Mike-the-Brother: No prob.
The walk the rest of the way to KidK's car in silence, and thus the trip to the mall is over. Later that evening at the Membrane house…
Prof. Membrane (on a vid screen): Are you sure that's what you want for your birthday, son?
Dib: Never been more sure of anything, Dad. But you can't forget. When you come home, you have to sign all the receipts, or they won't send anything. I already made all the orders, so all I need is your signature.
Prof. Membrane: Will do, son. It'll do my heart good to see that old lab put to use again. Now I've got to go put the finishing touches on my perpetual motion machine—this one is really going to make the world a better place to live in! I'll be home around two tomorrow morning. Order some Chinese for you and your sister. And make sure you feed the puppy.
Dib: *sigh* Sure, Dad. Thanks. See you.
The screen goes blank and Dib goes upstairs to hide all the paperwork he'd been showing to his father. He is met by Gaz in the hallway.
Dib (quickly hiding the papers behind his back): Oh! Gaz! How are you this lovely evening?
Gaz: Don't be weird. Get out of my way.
Dib: Yes! I will get out of your way! (he lets Gaz pass) Well, see you later! (he darts into his room)
Gaz: Freak. (thinking) God, what is wrong with everyone? They were all being so strange in the car home…and what's with Mike acting all creepy all of a sudden? And now Dib's acting stupider than usual. Oh, well, who cares? It just means Dib stays away from me and I get a free movie out of the deal. Huh. (she shrugs) Oh, man, I'm missing the marathon of 'Sick, Sad World!'
And with that blatant 'Daria' reference, it's time to end this chapter of '¡Feliz Cumpleaños, Gaz!' You will look forward to the next installment! You will! You are now on the edge of your seat waiting to find out what's going on with Dib ordering 'things,' and what Mike and Gaz are going to do on their 'not-a-date,' and if KidK will be able to keep Gir from exploding her kitchen in an attempt to bake! Now, begin your looking forward! Obey me! You know you want to!
What Will Happen Next? Find Out In Part Two! Muhahahahaaaaaaa!