In Every Life
Hi Guys, this is a series of one-shots based on songs and/or prompts. Feel free to give me any suggestions!
Falling Around You: Barry and Caitlin have been best-friends since the 3rd grade. Now in their mid-twenties Barry works as a police scientist for the police force and Caitlin as a doctor in a nearby hospital. Caitlin has secretly been in love with Barry since high school but never worked up the courage to tell him. Instead watching as he fell in love with beautiful journalist Iris
Song: Over You by Ingrid Michaelson ft A Great Big World
…..
They met during the first week of the third grade during recess, Caitlin, the new girl at school had been standing, looking around awkwardly for somewhere to sit. Barry, a bit of a loner himself, saw the terrified look on the poor girls face and got up, walking over to her. He'd brought her back to the table where he usually ate and sat down, offering her one of his cookies. They'd been joined at the hip ever since.
When Barry's mother died in an accident the next year, Caitlin had sat with him while he cried, rubbing his back and stroking his hair. When Caitlin's father died when she was 14, he did the same.
The two went through the hellish stage of life called high school together, both excelling in science while Barry also did very well in music and Caitlin, physical studies. Many weekends were spent with movie marathons and sleepovers at Caitlin's house, her mother was an absent parent to say the least. They both developed an affinity for superhero movies, lining up together for hours to see the newest ones and dressing up for comicon each year.
Everything changed for Caitlin one day in her senior year of high school. It was a weekend and they were having a studying session/sleepover, Barry had woken up in the middle of the night to find Caitlin slumped over her laptop, books acting as her pillow.
He'd gently pried her away from the desk, picking her up and carrying her to her bed. He tucked her in and pressed a kiss to her forehead before going back to sleep on the floor nearby. Caitlin had woken up though, and had felt the kiss, the skin where his lips touched tingling.
Ever since then she felt this connection to Barry, her heart speeding up whenever he was near. So, when he met Iris, a journalism student in his first year of college Caitlin's heart broke. Part of her deliberated between finally telling Barry how she felt or keeping quiet. But then she saw how happy Barry was, and she knew she couldn't do anything to jeopardise that happiness.
During their years at college, Barry and Iris's relationship was on and off, breaking up constantly and then getting back together a few weeks later. Caitlin and Barry also formed a close friendship with an funny engineering student called Cisco who introduced Caitlin to a fellow engineering student called Ronnie.
He was nice, always opening doors and pulling out chairs for Caitlin. He sent her flowers and held her hand, never pushing her when she didn't want to take things further. But despite all that Caitlin never felt the way she did when she was around Barry. Knowing it was wrong to lead him on she broke things off with Ronnie, choosing to throw herself into her studies to distract herself.
Barry graduated a year before her and soon got a job at the local police department as a police scientist. He settled down a lot more after that, his relationship with Iris becoming more serious. Gone were the graphic t-shirts and ripped jeans Caitlin was so used to his wearing, button up shirts replacing them. But despite this change they never let it affect their friendship, they still hung out when they could, dragging Cisco along with them to see the newest Spiderman movie.
When Caitlin graduated a month ago, they were both there, yelling and whistling when she got her diploma as she blushed and ran off the stage. Afterwards they went out for drinks, Barry excusing himself to go the bathroom at one point. That's when Cisco pounced.
"So, are you ever planning on telling Barry that you're hopelessly in love with him?" he asked bluntly.
She chocked on her gin and tonic, Cisco thumping her back as she spluttered "W-What are you talking about?" she exclaimed when she'd recovered.
"Oh come on Caitlin, I see the way you look at him. We've been friends for 3 years now, how could I not know?" he said with a knowing smile.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about" she stammered, choosing to stare down at her drink
"Ok then, but if you are going to tell him, do it soon. Apparently, Iris has marriage on the brain" Cisco says, causing Caitlin to look up sharply. At that point Barry returned and they returned to their previous conversation, but Caitlin couldn't help thinking about what Cisco said. Was Barry going to propose? If so could Caitlin just stand back and watch as the man she'd been in love with for almost a decade promised himself to another?
No, she couldn't.
So, she came up with an easy solution, she'd just take herself out of the equation. A few calls and an email with her resume attached later she found herself accepted into an internship at a hospital in Star City. She didn't tell anyone until the week she was due to leave, Cisco wasn't happy to say the least.
"You're seriously leaving the city because of a guy?" he asked incredulously
"I told you Cisco, it's not because of Barry. I just, I think now would be a good time to make a fresh start. And Starling General is one of the best hospitals on this side of the country, it's not that far away" she replies as she packs away her things for the move.
"So, it has nothing to do with the fact that I said that Iris wants to get married?"
"No, I'm happy for Barry. If this is what he wants then I'm glad" she says, refusing to meet Cisco's eyes
"You know he's going to flip out when you tell him" he says and she sighs, stopping her packing.
"I know. I'm meeting him tonight" she says before turning to Cisco "I have to go Cisco"
"I know you do" he says, pulling her into a hug "I'm just gonna miss you that's all"
"I'm going to miss you too, you'll have to come and visit okay?" she says, pulling away and wiping at her eyes with her sleeve.
"That's a deal, now come on. We need to get packing"
…..
She meets Barry at a local diner, her stomach twisted into knots as she approaches their booth.
"Hey" She says with a smile as she sits down
"Hey! I feel like we haven't hung out in forever" he says "We need to do a movie night sometime soon. Maybe even get Cisco to watch some Avengers with us"
She smiles, picking up her menu "Uh…yeah, maybe"
They catch up while they eat, telling each other what they'd missed. Barry is telling her about his latest adventure as a police scientist when she blurts it out, unable to act like nothing is going on anymore.
"I'm moving!"
Barry falls silent, his eyes widening as takes in this news "What? When?... Where?" he asks when he finally regains his voice.
"In 4 days, I got accepted into an internship at Starling General Hospital" she says, when he refuses to look up she gently takes his hand "Barry, c'mon. Say something, please"
His eyes meet hers and she can tell he's angry.
"How, how could you only tell me now? Why are you even going Cait? We have hospitals here" she says, raising his voice slightly "We've been friends for over a decade and you can only tell me 4 days before you're going that you're moving!"
"Barry, please. Can we not do this here? Can we just go outside and talk?" she asks and when he nods she flags the waitress for the bill, handing her some notes as she picks up her coat.
They go outside in the cool autumn air, Barry standing with his hands in his pockets as he waits for Caitlin to speak.
"I'm sorry" she begins "I didn't know how to tell you. I was scared of how you'd react"
"I can't believe you're actually going. This can't be happening" he says in disbelief
"I'm sorry"
"Why? Why leave? I mean, I get that Star City has a great hospital but we have a pretty good one here too"
"Barry it's not that simple" she tries to explain
"Then what? What is it? Caitlin you're my best friend! Talk to me" he begs, grabbing her wrist.
She stares up at him, torn between finally telling him and walking away, shaking her head she pulls her arm away "I have to go Barry, I need a fresh start. There's nothing here for me anymore"
"I'm here! Cisco is too! We need you Caitlin"
"Not in the way that I need you!" she shouts, tears spilling down her cheeks.
"What is that supposed to mean?" He asks, confusion clear on his face
"Just forget it Barry" she says, wiping her face with her hands "I didn't want things to end this way"
"They don't have to! You don't have to go"
"Barry please"
"Caitlin you're my best friend" he says, stepping closer "the thought of not being able to see you every day… It makes me sick to my stomach. Please, what would make you stay?"
She's silent for a few seconds, staring at him in disbelief. Did he really have no idea? "For you" she says "I would stay for you"
His brow furrows as he tries to process what she's saying. Moving slightly forward she keeps talking "I'm in love with you Barry, I always have been. And I've tried not to feel it, god I've tried to move on but I can't, because no matter what I'm doing or who I'm with all I can think about is you. And I know you love Iris and I don't expect anything from you, I just… I needed to say it. Just once" She's slightly out of breath by the time she's finished, raining starting to drizzle over them.
He opens and closes his mouth a few times before speaking "W-Why are you telling me this? What am I supposed to do with that Caitlin?"
"I'm sorry" she mutters
"I'm with Iris" he states, the rain starting to get heavier and soak their clothes
She nods, taking a step back "I know… you know what? Just forget I said anything, it doesn't matter. I wish you two all the best"
"Caitlin, don't you dare walk off. You can't just drop this on me and then leave!" He shouts
"I can't do this, I'm sorry Barry" she mutters before rushing off into the rain.
When Cisco opens the door, she collapses into his arms, her wet hair soaking the front of his shirt "Caitlin? Hey, what's happened?" he asks worriedly as he ushers her into his apartment.
"I told him… I told him Cisco" she sobs as he offers her a seat on his couch
"You told him? Well maybe this is a good thing" he says as goes to get her a glass of water.
She shakes her head "You didn't see the way he looked at me Cisco, I've ruined everything"
He hands her the glass of water and then sits down beside her "Just give him time Caitlin, I'm sure it's not as bad as it seems"
She sighs, taking a sip of the water. Part of her felt like it was even worse.
…..
The next day Cisco takes her back to her apartment, trying to get her mind off of Barry and also to finish the rest of their packing. He can't help but notice how red her eyes are as she tapes shut another box and he's willing to bet it's not from all the dust.
She smiles as she comes across a photo of Barry and her at their senior prom, neither had dates so they went together and they actually had a pretty good night. She notices Cisco staring and at that point she realises she's crying again.
"Sorry" she mutters, wiping her face "They just won't turn off"
"Are you sure you don't want to talk to him?" he asks as he finishes up his last box
"Yeah" she says with a sniff "It's just too raw right now, it would just make everything worse"
Looking back at the picture she smiles "Growing up we spent so much time together. It was like we were two halves of the same person. Like it physically hurt to be away from each other for too long. I need him so much Cisco, he's a part of me. And I know it sounds sappy but I thought, just for a minute… that he needed me too" she says, placing the photo down.
"I do need you" Barry's voice speaks from behind her
She turns around and he's standing in her living room, his set of keys to her apartment in his hand "B-Barry? What are you doing here?"
"I needed to see you"
Cisco gets up "I'm going to take that as my cue to go" he says, leaving her apartment.
She turns back to Barry "Barry I'm sorry for last night, I shouldn't have dumped it on you"
He comes closer, studying her face "You've been crying" he states, taking in her red eyes.
"I'm fine" she says, wiping her eyes quickly with her sleeve.
"No, you're not. You're in pain, Cait please don't try and hide from me"
She gives him a watery smile "really Barry I'm okay, just having trouble controlling my tear ducts" she says with a small laugh followed by a sniff.
He comes closer, gently placing his hands on her arms like he had yesterday "Of course I need you Caitlin, you're my best friend in the world! I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't want you to go"
"I don't either" she whimpers, her eyes pricking and betraying her again "But I can't keep doing this Barry, I can't watch you with her anymore, it's killing me"
He moves closer, wrapping his arms around her as she cries "Please, please don't go"
"I have to" she says, her voice muffled by his shirt "I need to do this, I need to try and move on. Please Barry, if you love me, don't make this harder than it already is"
He kisses her hair, pulling away "I do love you Cait" he says, wiping at his own eyes
"Just not in the way that I love you" she says, looking down at her feet
"Caitlin..." he doesn't know what to say, all he knows is that it feels like something is ending and he desperately wants to stop it.
She looks back up, tears are shining on her face but she gives him a smile "It's okay Barry, really. Iris is perfect for you, she'll say yes, she'd be a fool not to"
He wants to ask her how she knows about the proposal but doesn't, this would be the last time they'd see each other for god knows how long and he wasn't going to waste it interrogating her
"... Are you going to come back?" he asks
"I-I don't know Barry… I need time" she says "Maybe one day we can meet up?"
He smiles, his first real one since last night "I'd like that"
They hug again before she leads him to the door, they're both almost crying when he finally leaves.
"Goodbye Caitlin"
"Goodbye Barry"
She closes her door, making it two steps into the room before collapsing onto the floor in tears.
….
Three days later Caitlin boards a plane to Starling City.
Maybe if I tell myself enough…
Maybe if I do