Michelle sat in the car, silently. Trying to fight back tears, but they slowly made their way down her face. She could not do this anymore. This had gone to far. He was no longer the loving, caring, understanding huspand. She no longer felt safe in his arms. And yet, she couldn't leave him. This wasn't about her, but about him, he needed her, if she left him, he would be all alone, he wouldn't manage in the state he was in. Drunk at every waken hour of day. Sleeping on the coach.
She heard the demo of her single one more time. She startet writing after he got back, he always said she had a great singing voice, and she had alot to get out. She hadn't sent it, she wasn't sure she wanted to.
... I watched you die, i heard you cry
every night in your dreams
i was so young
you shoud have known
better than to lean on me
you never thought of anyone else
You just saw you pain.
And now i cry in the middle of the night
for the same damn thing
She took out the cd, placed in its cover and walked inside."Hey honey" she said, walking past Tony, sitting on the coach, and into the bedroom where she put it together with her other cds in the bedroom, and walked back and sat down beside Tony, and kissed him. Tasting the alcohol. He was clearly drunk. She had thougth about this for the entire way home, and she knew she had to do this. "Tony, this cannot go on like this you have to stop drinking, get a job, and stop acting so selfish." Tony just groaned and continued watching the tv. '"Tony! " She raised her vioce, trying hard to control herself, she knew how he was when he was drunk.
"TONY! for gods sake, can you listen for like two minutes, or is your drink, and that fucking tv to importent to you? Why won't you just go marry them both, if that makes you so damn happy? And while your still at it, take the nice lady at the bar, and everyone else you can pick up on the street, maybe they are good enjof for you? " She was on her way to leave when she heard his vioce.
"Maybe i will! " She stoped for a second before walking back in to the bedrom, laying on the bed. This wasn't fair. Yes, he saved her life, and she loved him, and she owed him her life, but couldn't he at least try to live it? She would take a bullet for that man, withouth thinking it through at all. But at the same time, she hated who he was becoming.
Tony knew what he did was wrong, but he couldn't help himself. He loved her, and it was killing him to know that he was hurting her so badly. She was working hard to afford to pay for both of them, and he wasn't helping at all. besides riising the elecrisity bill a cuple of dollars, with the tv constantly on, and drinking more beer than he could pay himself.
Michelle walked back out. And into the kitchen, witout looking at her huspand at all. She got herself a beer, she usualy didn't drink, but she needed this one badly now. things were getting out of hand. "you're gonna start to now?" Tony said bearly looking at her. "Why not" she comented...
The next day she went to work early, not wanting to be there when Tony woke up. She hadn't talked to him after their little arguement. She was gone all day, and when she had been gone far more hours then he had expecting, Tony started getting woried.
It got nine, ten. He had stopped drinking earlyer that day, to be something close to sobber when she got home. he had decided to give it a try to be nice to her. He just missed wrapping her up in his arms, holding her tight, ready to protect her from anything. He was. He had risked everything for her, and he would do that once again if he needed to.
A little after middnight Tony was about to call her, when she walked through the dor, on crutches. Her arms covered with bruises, and scars all over her face. She stopped when she saw him. There was no bottles on the table, he seamed sobber, she could actuall look him in the eyes. He looked at her, terrified.
She turned to close the door behind her, and moved her foot a little, he saw the pain going through all of her body, and then it was it. He quickly walked over to her, closing the door, suporting her over to the coach, gently helping her sit down. Then they looked at eachother in silence for a while. Before he asked her, almoust whispering.. " What happened Chelle? Are you okay?" Michelles heart still jumped hearing him call her 'Chelle'. Her nickname for her.
She nodded slowly, and said. "I'm just tired, i'm going to bed" She took her crutches, making her way to he stairs. He stood up, helping her. Unsure of what to do. He got her to their room, and asked her quietly, "Are you going to be ok while i go to the bathroom?" She nodded and he walked to their bathroom, looking back at her one more time, and then closing the door.
He felt slowly to the floor. Worrying sick about her. He should be out there with her, but he couldn't. he was to damn weak. His beloved wife needed him, and he was sitting on his bathroomfloor, close to breaking down. He was a weak weak man, and he knew it, damn well. Reality came crushing down to him. He slowly stood up, and changed, before walking back to se Michelle lying with her back against his side of the bed, he joined her in the bed. He moved close to her, and felt her body tense. He gently brushed some hair away and kissed her neck. "I love you" he whispered into her ear, and then he lay back down.
None of them slept that night. Michelles eyes were filled with tears, not from pain, but the meaning of those words her huspand whispered into her ear. It was the first time he told her he loved her, in a verry long time, and she could feel the love. He was thinking about her, the way she walked in, injured from, what? he didn't even know what happened. He migh have been close to losing her, and the one thing he could do was break down, and come with a simple sentence as "I love you?" Whan was he of a huspand, or of a man. good, he loved this womman, he really did. Now, he understood, it was time for him to start showing it!
The next day, he was up early, making her breakfast. Knowing she was propably pissed off at him, he left it by her bed and left the room. She was awake, and she felt her heart ace, discorvering that he walked back out. After he had closed the door behind him, she turned around to find a note together with the food
"i am really sorry. We need to talk. I love you! Tony" A tear dropped down her face once again. She ate some of the food he had made. And sat up in the bed, taking her laptop, opening it to get some work done. Just becuse she was injured and wasn't going to be going to the ofice for at least a cuple of weaks didn't mean she couldn't get some work done.
But she couldn't consentrate. She found the demo and put it into the cd drive. She played the song three times. Tony heard the song from the living room, and walked to se what it was, and he stopped in the door, listening to the song. he saw the cover, where it was written with Michelles handwriting " DEMO, becuse of you.. He looked back at his wife, her face covered with tears.
Becuse of you (originaly Kelly Clarcson)
ØI will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
After the song finnished, she looked up, and saw him slowly moving towards her. She didn't know what to say. Had he heard all of it? Would he hate her for it? What would he think? Her thoughts where cought of by his vioce. "It's beautifull" A single tear fell down his face. Tony never cried, did he? Well, he did now. He sat down, and huged his wife gently. Promising himself never to hurt her again.
She was the one that pulled away from the hug, he was unsure of what that ment, untill she kissed him, more lovingly, and more pasionatly than ever before. They both needed this so badly. The broke apart, and Tony was sitting next to Michelle, and he took her hands in his. "Honey, i'm sorry, i really am. I never realised how mutch i hurt you, and i hate myself for acting like i did. I really love you, and i need you to know that i will always love you, nomatter what.
She squised his hand gently. "I love you to! And i'm sorry i've been selfish, burrying myself in work, leaving you here all alone when i knew you needed me. I will work less, and i will help you through this, if you want to! And i will alway suport you, no matter what!"
A few weeks later
Michelle was still recovering, and was not to be at work for another three weeks. She was slowly getting better, and with Tonys help, she was fine. More than fine she though, halfly lying in his arms. He was watching tv, and she was almoust asleep. He looked down at her. Turned of the tv, and brushed away some curls from her face. She opened her eyes, realising that the sound from the tv was gone. "Is it finnished already?" He smiled at her, "Nope, but everyone know they're gonna lose... Michelle smiled. Even before prisson, with a job, baseball had been a verry important role in Tonys life. And now, he was simply turning of the tv, during a game she knew was important to his favorite team, whatever they were called. And he didn't seam to care at all.
"Watch it, i know you want to" She said smiling, "I'll be right here with you!" He smiled at her, "You know what, it really isn't that important! I would rather spend the time with you... He smiled, and held her tight, carefully avoiding bruised parts of her body. "I love you y'know" he smiled. "I know, i love you to. More than you can ever imagine!"
Tony lowered his head and kissed her. He really ment what he said. It really wasn't that importantany more. She was important. And he had hurt her so bad, that she deserved all the love and atention he could give her. She cloesd her eyes for a moment. Thinking about what he said. A while back, he wouldn't even notice her during a game like this, or at any game at all. No, he didn't even care about the game. She knew there was still a long way to go, but he was back to the man she loved, he was better. She smiled, he was just getting cuter every second.
"I'm proud of you!" She smiled at him, and he laughed. "For what?" ", you are already close to completely quit drinking, and id doesn't seam to bother you!" He smiled and stroke the side of her face. "It doesn't bother me, and quiting drinking is nothing with you around!" He smiled, and she kissed him. " I love you", she said. She couldn't remind him of that often enjof.
Later she was sitting in bed, with her laptop on her knees, working. She still had to do some work, but it was nothing compared to earlier. And alot of it was things he knew about from his old job at CTU and things he could help her with. She logged on to the internett, waiting a minute while the computer conected to the network before the page came. While searching for something she came over a job avialible at school, training teenagers with heart/lung decieses, in High level sports. Michelle knew he was a sertified instructor, and that training kids withch other people didn't think could ever do anything in that sport, on a high lever would fit Tony just perfect!
When Tony came into the bedrom, she nearly comanded him over to the bed, and showed him what she found. She looked at him hopefully, and he smiled... "Great, i'll call them tomorow" Michelle smiled, she saw could se he was unsure, would they hire a ex-con to train kids? Michelle dragged him onto the bed next to her, looked him in the eye and said. "They wouldn't find a better role model for those kids y'know! You can do it, i know!" He smiled dragging her body closer to his, looking at the screen one more time.