Dear Santa Claus
I have been a very good boy this year. If you don't believe me just ask Wolverine He will tell you how I only sliced off the heads of those how truly deserve it like sentinels or the Muffin Man, the one that lived on Drury Lane. Take my word for you do not want to eat the muffins. They're nasty, man that guy is evil. So of course I deserve presents for Christmas. I mean come on I killed the Muffin Man. Down to business what I would like for Christmas this year is first more Cheesy, Crunchy, Puffs. I can't get enough of Cheesy, Crunchy, Puffs. In case there's a misunderstanding I need my Cheesy Crunchy Puffs and if I don't get my Cheesy, Crunchy, Puffs I will find you. I will cut open bowlful of jelly you have for a stomach. I if cannot have Cheesy, Crunchy, Puffs on Christmas, you never will! Second I would also like some pink bunny slippers. To keep my feet warm on a cold winter stack outs. Not those fake ones either I want real pink bunny slipper, Made from real Easter bunnies. Please include a recoding of what it sounds like when you kill an Easter Bunny. I have a bet going with wolverine. If for some reason you do not want to kill an Easter bunny that's fine. I will just have to turn red nose here into a winter jacket instead. Third I would like a year's supply of ammunition or at least things that make loud and preferably violent explosions. I promise if I get my ammunition you will get your wife back, alive. Finally I would like you to make people who design my comic book 3-D so that I can really out of the pages. I mean how awesome would that be. I'm sure this will increase the fun pack hours you've spent reading my comics tenfold. Either you make sure the people who design my comic make it in 3-D or I will just blow up your workshop. You might believe it is safe, because I don't know where you live but you are not. I found out where you live from that elf who wanted to be a dentist. Whoops I wasn't supposed to tell you that. I probably should not have side that either. Oh well.
Love and grenades,
DeadPool