Disclaimer: I own only that which my twisted imagination creates.
Summary: A/C wedding. Author wreaks havoc.
AN: Dreams are wacky things. [Parentheses equal thoughts]
The scene is a peaceful villa in southern California, a wedding is about to begin.
The bride is absolutely beautiful. She is gowned in white[yeah but she is still slutty]. She is Cordelia, demon seeress.
The groom is [what the hell!]Angel.
[NO! Joss can mess up everything in his world but mine is gonna be B/A and fluffy damnit!]
The ceremony is halfway done.
[Not if I can help it! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!]
{Brief scuffle between C/A author and Thorn Princess. Thorn wins!!!!}
Ahhhhh.
That's better.
Where was the story at?
Oh yeah.
And now back to the story the way it should be! *grin*
The priest says those famous words "Speak now or forever hold your peace."
{A cricket chirps}
"I now pronounce you man and…"
"Stop!" All look toward the back of the church at Buffy, flanked by Willow, Tara, Anya, and Dawn.
"Huh?"
"Stop!" Buffy said.
"In the name of love!" Her gal pals harmonized.
Alright that's enough singing. We don't want another musical.
"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww."
No whining!
"I object to this union!" Buffy said dramatically.
"On what grounds?" Cordelia was not a happy camper. "Hey! Could you maybe stop insulting me for a minute?"
Shut up Barbie.
"No!"
{Thorn tapes Cordy's mouth shut}
Now you can either be nice and end up with someone good, OR YOU CAN END UP WITH JONATHAN!!!!!!!
{Cordelia smiles and nods.}
Good.
"I object because I love him!" Buffy declared.
"Gasp!"
{Buffy kneels with ring.}
"Angel will you marry me?" Buffy asked.
"YES!"
{Thorn dances with glee. Then suddenly a helicopter arrives. Faith, Drusilla, Spike, Gunn, Wesley, Xander, Doyle, and Giles hop out.}
"Good lord! That is the last time I fly in an American helicopter!" Wesley and Giles exclaimed in union.
"The crazy chick definitely ain't drivin' on the return trip." Gunn said.
"Miss Sunshine wants her tea." Dru murmured.
"Shut up about the damn dog!" Faith raged.
Doyle said-
"Wait up. I thought Doyle was dead." Willow was confused.
He's not in my world chickie"Thanks." Doyle said.
No prob.
Xander and Doyle simultaneously asked where the food was.
Spike cursed.
"OH NO! We don't have a minister to perform the marriage." Buffy panicked.
"Have no fear!" Faith cried, "I'm an ordained minister over the Internet!"
"Since when?"
"Since the writer realized the huge plot hole and decided to use lil'ol'me."
It was either her or Spike. And it wasn't a huge plot hole!"Mmmm-Hmmm. Just keep telling yourself that." Faith said sarcastically.
.
Faith was the minister.
Wesley, Xander, Doyle, and Gunn were the groom's men.
Anya, Tara, Willow, and Dawn were the bridesmaids.
Spike was the ringbearer.
Drusilla was the flower girl.
Lorne was DJ.
And Giles gave the bride away.
Everything was great until rabid gnomes started biting people's ankles.
But what did you expect?
This is a Hellmouth after all:}
Should I do a sequel?
"OH DEAR GOD NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" All characters cry.
Shut Up!Review. Please. *Smiles*