Chapter One
First Day at Lily Hall
Fukuzawa Yumi very carefully and precisely put her last pair of white socks in the dresser drawer and slid it quietly shut before turning around to view her new room. It was a simple room as would normally be expected of a dorm for an old and prestigious Catholic girls' high school. The walls were whitewashed plaster, the floor a sturdy hardwood darkened with age. The room held only a single bed, desk and chair, dresser, and small wardrobe. A wooden crucifix was hung over the head of the bed, but that was the only thing that broke up the monotony of the blank white walls. She wondered if they'd allow her to add some color to them.
She counted herself lucky that a good amount of afternoon sunlight was slanting through her single window. As an artist, light was everything and since she had school in the mornings the only time she'd have for her painting would be in the afternoons. Walking over to the window past her easel – the very first item that she had set up before unpacking anything else – brown eyes glanced out onto the picturesque campus of Lillian Girls' Academy, her home for the next three years. She felt herself tremble, but pushed the feelings to the back of her mind and instead took note of the view outside her window.
A double row of mature gingko trees lined the red brick walk from the front door of her new dormitory before connecting to one of the main paths that led to the various buildings on the extensive campus. The grass appeared to have been manicured to within a millimeter of its life and she wondered what they did when the trees dropped their seeds in early autumn. She could just imagine the numerous tan and yellow-brown colored landmines that would be decorating the brick walkway…and the associated smell. While the gingko nuts were fairly pretty, having the smell of vomit permeating the area was not conducive to keeping down breakfast. She wondered if anyone would mind if she swept the walk in the mornings.
Yumi smiled softly. She could just imagine the scene. A young girl with brown hair in pigtails tied up with ribbons and wearing Lillian's dark green uniform, head down as she lightly swept the gingko nuts off to the side and into grass that was still green but beginning to lose its vibrancy as fall winds gathered strength. Yellow, long-stemmed and fan-shaped leaves littered the ground, a few floating slowly and silently to earth to join their brothers and sisters in death; preparing the way for the next generation. Low, dark clouds covered the sky and muted the sun's morning light as a none-so-gentle breeze blew through pushing already fallen leaves before it, making it difficult for the lone sweeper to keep up.
Before she knew it, Yumi had moved her easel closer to the window and placed a fresh white canvas upon it. Her paints came out of the bottom drawer of her desk. She used the wooden seat of the chair as a table to hold everything she'd need. Within moments colors and shapes began appearing across the virgin canvas. Dark rust red for the brick, multiple shades of green for the grass slowly going into hibernation, leaves, and school uniform, various yellows for the fallen and falling leaves, browns and tans for the boles of the trees, the broom and, of course, the nuts themselves. Even before her brain considered the question she'd somehow already decided that the scene would best be represented through impressionism, so dots and short strokes of individual colors slowly resolved into trees, walkways, and a young girl with a broom working diligently on a cool and overcast autumn morning.
She was so caught up in her creation that the painter nearly jumped right out of her skin when someone knocked at her door.
Luckily the surprise didn't affect her artwork. As a result of a multitude of similar interruptions through the years, Yumi had long ago learned to protect her canvas from unanticipated and extraneous motions and drips. The knock came again, a little louder this time as she set her paints and brushes down. At least the person hadn't simply barged in like…
With a sigh of regret and a shiver of trepidation, she quickly wiped her hands on a solvent permeated cloth before moving to the door just as another series of knocks sounded.
"Y-yes?" Yumi asked quietly as she opened the door a crack to see who was on the other side.
The girl standing in the hall with a curious smile on her face was a couple of years older than Yumi, most likely a third-year student. She had shoulder-length black hair cut into a cute bob that nicely framed her face and kind-looking dark hazel eyes. In desperate contrast to the girl she'd just been painting, the older girl outside her door was wearing well-worn blue jeans, a dark green button-down shirt, and multi-colored name-brand sneakers.
"Fukuzawa Yumi?" the girl asked with that curious smile leaning a bit more toward a smirk.
"Y-yes," Yumi replied timidly, her voice not much louder than a mouse.
"My name is Mizuno Youko and I'm the senior Resident Assistant here at the Rose Mansion dorm. I wanted to make sure that you were settling in all right. Would it be too much of an imposition to come in?"
"N-no," Yumi squeaked softly, or at least she thought she did. She opened the door for her guest, her very first even if she was uninvited. She wasn't sure if her shaking hands were from nervousness, excitement, or fear.
The older girl moved smoothly into the small room with a gliding walk and perfect posture. Even in just a pair of worn jeans and simple shirt she had an air of aristocracy about her, a presence, as if as if she had every right to be there and not a concern in the world. Her confidence was extremely intimidating to the polar opposite Yumi.
"Well, I can see that you've already unpacked. That's good, and," her eyes swiveled toward the incomplete canvas, "you're an artist?" Slow steps took Youko to stand in front of Yumi's painting. The brown-eyed girl found herself wringing her hands with concern; desperately hoping that maybe she hadn't already violated some stricture of the dorm rules. "And one with quite a bit of talent I see," the dark haired girl nodded, her unexpected compliment bringing a rush of blood to Yumi's cheeks. "I can't wait to see the finished product. I don't know how, but even without having been here before you've quite nicely captured a scene that I've witnessed on more than one occasion over the past two years from my own window. It's lovely."
The heat of happiness that blossomed in Yumi's chest was nearly overwhelming. People had critiqued or corrected her efforts in the past, but rarely had anyone ever complimented her paintings.
"Th-thank you," she whispered as she ducked her head, her eyes trained on the floor between their feet, therefore she missed the brief look of confusion on the older girl's features.
"Have you had a chance to review the guidelines for living in the dorm, Yumi-chan?" the girl asked, only slowly turning away from her study of the still in-process painting.
Yumi quickly nodded her head and rushed to her desk, her slippered feet making barely a sound, to pull the small student handbook from the center drawer. She held it up between them like a shield, as if simply holding it provided proof that the small tome had been read and understood completely. The smile on Mizuno-sama's lips was like a breath of fresh air as she felt the older girl's acceptance.
"Well, so long as you realize that the guidelines are just that, guidelines. We here at Lily Hall don't always hold so strictly to them," those hazel eyes sparkled with suppressed laughter and, when she saw Yumi's confusion, went on to explain. "While the school calls this the Rose Mansion dorm, most of the students call it Lily Hall because, well," it was Youko's turn to blush, "there always seems to be at least one pair of dating girls living here at any given time."
Yumi's continued confusion must have been apparent.
"You must know, Yumi-chan, the lily has always been the symbol of lesbianism," the brown-eyed girl's features didn't change. "Girls that like girls? Instead of boys?"
The light bulb of understanding finally clicked on only to be quickly followed once again by confusion. Who cares whether or not the person liking you is a boy or another girl? She thought to herself. Just to have someone that likes you…anyone at all…it would be…wonderful! If I had someone like that…
Yumi hadn't said a word, but her facial expressions must have given her away again, because Youko chuckled and simply said, "I think you'll do just fine here, Yumi-chan.
"I won't keep you any longer," the other girl went on, "I just wanted to welcome you to the dorm and make sure you had everything you needed…" she paused just long enough for Yumi to realize that it was a question so she nodded her head again to let the dark haired girl know that she had everything, "and to find out if you had any questions."
The pigtailed girl glanced around at the bare walls of her room, extremely tempted to ask if it would be okay if she painted a mural or something on them, but she just couldn't seem to get the words out of her throat, so she despondently shook her head in the negative.
"Well, that's fine as well. It's not like I'm going anywhere anytime soon," Youko chuckled again. "I live just down the hall, the room at the top of the stairs, so if you do decide you have any questions, feel free to bring them to me and I'll try to answer them or get you an answer if it's beyond my authority." She turned to walk back to the door, so Yumi followed her politely. "Oh!" Youko suddenly turned back forcing Yumi to jump backward herself, "one other thing," she grinned, "I expect to see you downstairs at six for dinner. Although we all have modified cafeteria privileges, since there are only eight of us we usually eat dinner together in the kitchen. And you won't believe Rei-chan's cooking," the older girl grinned and actually smacked her lips, almost causing Yumi to giggle even as the thought of eating with strangers sent a shiver down her spine, "she's better than most five-star chefs, so you'd better bring your appetite." Yumi just nodded again as she showed her guest out and quietly closed her door.
She slumped against the rough paneled wood trying to get her nerves back under control. She hadn't spent so much time with anyone in a long while, let alone a stranger. At least Mizuno-sama seemed nice.
With a sigh, Yumi pulled herself back together and went back to her easel and her painting while she still had the light. Within moments all thoughts of the older girl had been pushed aside and replaced with only those necessary for her art.
-oo-
Youko stood outside the door to Yumi's room deep in thought.
"So, how's our little mouse doing?" a tall blonde asked as she walked up to lean on the wall beside her.
"I'm…not sure," the usually confident Youko replied off-handedly. "It's hard to really form an impression of someone when they don't say much more than 'yes.' Have you looked over her file yet, Sei?"
"Can't say as I've given it much more than a cursory glance," Satou Sei, the junior Resident Assistant and another of the three third-year students living in the small dorm replied with a quirk of an eyebrow.
"I hadn't either," Youko admitted. "I assumed she was just another first-year, but if that were the case, why was she placed here and not at one of the other first-year dorms? I know why Yoshino-chan and Shimako-chan were placed here, but Yumi-chan's case doesn't seem to fit the dorm's usual mold."
"What, you think we're all delinquents or gyarus here?" Sei laughed softly. "Or should I simply say 'oddballs'?"
"No, no," Youko waved a hand, having still not bothered to look up at her friend as she continued to ponder the question of one Fukuzawa Yumi. "Yoshino-chan's here because Rei-chan's here, that's obvious. Shimako-chan is here because of her status as a senior miko. You know as well as I do that most of us are here simply because we don't really fit in anywhere else for one reason or another. But how does quiet little Yumi-chan fit into that criteria?"
"Maybe she killed someone? You know it's always the quiet ones you'd never expect that turn out to be axe murderers," Sei laughed softly since they were still standing outside Yumi's room. "Just kidding," she held up her hands in surrender when Youko turned her head to glare at her, "but instead of trying to guess, why don't we head back to your room and take another look at her file?"
Youko was about to make some snide quip about the western-looking girl just trying to get her alone behind closed doors, but immediately thought better of it knowing that despite her humorous facade, Sei was still in pain from her recent loss. "Yes, that probably would be better than standing around outside her door talking about her," Youko agreed. The two young women quickly made their way down the narrow hallway to Youko's room right at the top of the steps. Sei's room was directly opposite and across the opening leading down to the foyer. While the dark haired girl bent over to pull Yumi's file from her desk drawer, the blonde Sei laid down on the double bed and put her hands behind her head.
"Comfortable?" Youko asked with an aggravated air.
"Very," Sei grinned back unrepentantly, her laughing grey eyes obviously enjoying the view.
With a roll of her eyes, Youko took a seat in her chair and opened up the file to start really going over it. "Interesting. There's no next of kin listed; only the name and phone number of a fairly prestigious Tokyo law firm."
"So, she's an orphan," Sei shrugged. "That might explain her placement with us."
"Maybe," she glanced at the small photograph clipped to the inside of the folder, "but it really doesn't seem to be such a big deal. There are other orphans in the school that weren't placed with us. Also, I somehow can't seem to get over the fact that I've seen her somewhere before."
"Oh? You spend a lot of time at orphanages?"
"Shut it, Sei," Youko said, exasperated at how her friend was never taking anything seriously these days. "You know I don't. If anyone was going to go cradle robbing it would be you or Eriko." Her only answer was a snort of laughter.
She flipped through a few more pages of Yumi's file without finding anything interesting which was, in itself, interesting. As she'd explained, there was something about each of the dorm's residents that made it difficult for them to live in the larger and much more populated dormitories. Whether it was an incestuous relationship like Rei and Yoshino, or Shimako's Buddhist and Shinto background while attending a Catholic school, Sei's flaunting her sexual orientation, or even Eriko's nymphomania, there was something quite "different" about each of them. But except for the lack of close kin, there was absolutely nothing to indicate why Yumi would have been placed in the Rose Mansion dorm.
"She is a quiet little thing, almost skittish from what little I saw of her when she was moving in," Sei commented from her reclined position, her tone finally turning serious. "Is it possible she was abused?"
"Hard to tell," Youko sighed. "She doesn't show any physical signs, but you know as well as I do that doesn't mean anything. Emotional scars are much deeper and slower to heal than physical scars." Sei nodded knowingly. Youko turned to look at her best friend to see a slight frown on the grey-eyed lesbian's lips. Certainly Sei had experience with emotional pain. "Just don't go trying to 'ease her pain,' Sei. She's far too young for you emotionally; although from the way she reacted when I mentioned it, she at least doesn't seem to have any problems with same-sex relationships."
"Well, that's something," Sei nodded in understanding. Given the makeup of the dorm this year, having an open mind about sexuality was probably going to be a necessity for maintaining one's sanity. "Hmm. What about the Ice Princess? Do you think there will be any issues there?"
"I think Sachiko's used to your antics by now, Sei," Youko replied in a disinterested tone, still looking through Yumi's file for anything out of the ordinary.
"Not what I was thinking," Sei huffed in annoyance. "I meant, did you think that there will be any problems between Sachiko-chan and Yumi-chan. Face it, Sachan can be pretty cold and intimidating whereas Yumi-chan seems to be the proverbial milquetoast. We'll need to make sure that those two don't clash, or that Sachan doesn't end up taking advantage of our little church mouse."
"Yes, you're right of course," Youko sighed and turned to look at her friend who had finally sat up on the bed. "Although I personally think Sachiko is a bit deeper and more caring than you like to give her credit for, I can see where there might be some issues. You know as well as I do that Sachiko doesn't take well to people she considers weak. I don't think she'd abuse Yumi, but neither do I think she'll take to her all that well," she sighed again, not looking forward to having to act as a referee or bodyguard. "Can I count on your help there?"
"Certainly," Sei agreed quickly. "Frankly, I prefer Yumi-chan's timidity to Sachan's peckish, holier-than-thou attitude."
Youko scowled. "You know that's as much a mask as anything for her feelings of inadequacy, Sei."
"Doesn't mean I like it," the blonde replied without a hint of remorse. "I admit, she certainly has her reasons for hiding behind a mask, but surely she could have found one that was a bit more fan-friendly?"
"Not that it's hurt her reputation in the least," the black haired girl smiled and shook her head. "I swear she had a larger group of fangirls following her around last year than you and Rei-chan combined."
"Maybe that's why I don't like her much," Sei smirked. "She's taking all the good girls away."
Youko didn't even bother to try to reply to that one. Everyone knew that last year Sei was completely taken; not that it did her much good in the end. Nor was there any need to open those old wounds with careless words.
"Yes, well, despite the way she sometimes acts in public, I happen to know that Sachiko not only likes you, but envies you, Sei. She'd give anything to be as free and open as you are." The pure disbelief on the grey-eyed girl's face was both hilarious and sad.
"No. No way! There's no way that Sachan could envy me," Sei shook her head in denial. "Bad as they are, she still has parents that care for her, and I think her mother's a blessed saint with everything she puts up with from her husband and father-in-law. I know Sayako-okaasama loves Sachan, even if the men of her family mainly see her only as a disposable pawn in some big game of business and politics."
"But it's exactly that sense of implacable fate that makes her wish that she could be as free as you are. All Sachiko sees are the chains that bind her to a future she detests."
"A bit poetic with the description, but accurate for all that," Sei agreed sadly. "I wish there was something we could do for her, but she needs to grow her own backbone, not have us stand her up in front of the firing squad of her father and grandfather without a blindfold and Kevlar vest."
"And she knows how weak she is, which is why she can't stand weakness in others. She sees too much of herself in them." Youko shook her head, putting Yumi's folder back in her drawer. Sei had a duplicate in her own bedroom and she knew that the blonde would be looking at it sometime after dinner if not before.
Speaking of which.
"I think I smell Rei's famous coconut chicken curry," Youko grinned.
"Race you?" Sei laughed.
-oo-
Meat!
There's real meat in the food!
Yumi couldn't decide if she should eat slowly to savor the taste or wolf it down before someone realized their error and took her plate away.
After hanging a clean dust cover over her painting she'd decided that eating in the small kitchen of the dorm with seven strangers was better than eating with hundreds of strangers in the school's cafeteria.
"So, Yumi-san, tell us a bit about yourself," the girl sitting next to her with her hair twined into two long brown braids asked. Actually, if she were to be forced to comment, the request had come out much more like a command than a question, but either way she didn't see any way around it. She'd be stuck with these people for the next ten months or so, so it was inevitable that she'd eventually have to give them a bit of her background, at least as much of it as she dared.
"Um, Y-Yoshino-san," she gulped, then took a small sip of water to try to calm her rapidly beating heart and try to remember what she'd been told to say in such a situation, "th-there's really n-not much to tell," she replied softly with a feigned shrug of indifference to try to cover her nervousness. "My guardians decided that they had to move to the U.S. for business purposes and since they were going to be gone for such a long time it was decided that I'd stay behind and go to school here." Her voice was so quiet that Yumi wondered if anyone beyond Yoshino-san even heard her. It was supposedly a common enough story here at Lillian for the parents of girls to leave them at school while they went off to do business elsewhere, or at least so she'd been told when they gave her that story to tell. Most of it was even true.
Since Yumi's eyes were still looking down at her food so that she didn't have to meet anyone else's eyes, she missed the significant glance and raised eyebrow Youko gave Sei. "Wh-what about you?"
Thankfully she was treated to what was essentially Yoshino's and Rei's life story, including the fact that they were not only cousins but, much to Rei's seemingly blushing embarrassment, partners. Yumi only had to nod every so often to keep the overly-thin, long-haired brunette talking which allowed her to keep her mouth closed unless she was opening up to slip in more of the heavenly, scrumptious meal.
"Really, have you no shame, Yoshino-san?" a beautiful black haired girl with eyes of the bluest sapphire asked into a brief pause near the end of Yoshino's monologue. "You don't see Rei announcing your relationship to the entire world," she went on with a significant look at the still blushing short-haired blonde that, according to what Youko had told Yumi, had cooked their fantastic meal.
"Rei-chan and I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of," the younger girl had responded heatedly. "I love her and she loves me. What is there to be ashamed of in that? I certainly feel both fortunate and honored that she cares so much for me." Yoshino turned obviously loving eyes to her cousin and Yumi thought she could actually see Rei melt beneath that heartfelt gaze. "Where most in our situation could only count on the normal love of a family member, Rei-chan and I are much more than simply cousins. We are also sisters and soulmates. How could I not want everyone to know just how much I love her?"
"Even if society disapproves?" Sachiko's voice was strident. "It's not only lesbianism, but incest! You know I don't care, but how can you sit there and tell me that the opinions of nearly the entire world don't matter to you?"
"Because they don't," Yoshino shrugged, using her chopsticks to pick up a bit of rice and curry. "The only opinions that matter are Rei's, mine, our families', and those of our closest friends…the people we trust and care about. Everyone else is a stranger who could never understand what it means to have someone like Rei-chan love you."
Yumi wanted to speak up in support of Yoshino, almost feeling as if she had to, even if it earned a glare from the beautiful blue eyes of the girl sitting across the table from her. How could she not understand just how important it was to have someone that really loved you? Especially family! Her need to express herself was so strong, but the need to avoid confrontation had been ingrained into her for far too long.
"Ex-excuse me," she stammered apologetically as she pushed herself away from the table. "It was a delicious dinner, Hasekura-sama. Thank you so very much for allowing me to share in it," she went on as she quickly took her plate and chopsticks to put them carefully in the sink. Yumi stood there a moment and tried to think of anything she might say to them to make them understand just how truly rare a love like that could be, her knuckles turning white from gripping the countertop so tightly, but there was nothing. Shaking her head she ran from the room before the tears she was leaking became glaringly obvious to her dorm mates.
You just couldn't understand! she wept as she ran up the stairs to her room, slamming the door behind her before falling sobbing to her bed.
-oo-
"What was that all about?" Eriko Torii asked with wide eyes. "Did I miss something?"
"Since it didn't have an erect penis attached, you didn't miss anything, Eriko-sama," Sachiko sniffed in derision. "Just a child having a temper tantrum. At least she took her tableware to the sink before she ran out."
"And remembered to thank the cook," Yoshino piped up in defense of the girl she'd decided was going to be her newest friend. "At least she has proper manners and doesn't start arguments at the dinner table," she turned her eyes on the instigator of said argument. Even if Sachiko was Rei's best friend in the world, Youko could see the daggers in Yoshino's angry brown eyes.
"Sachiko," the older girl said softly into the ensuing silence, "you overstepped."
"Yes, Youko-oneesama," the raven-haired young woman responded contritely, dropping her head immediately. "I apologize."
"I'm not the one you need to be apologizing to," Youko said pointedly.
Haughty pride flared briefly within cerulean eyes before it was overcome by guilt. "I apologize, Yoshino-chan, Rei. It was not my intent to impugn your relationship. I…I believe that my envy temporarily usurped my better judgment."
While the three younger girls hugged or clasped hands, Youko sighed. If it wasn't one inferiority complex, it was another. "Sometimes I wonder if I'm an RA or a kindergarten teacher."
"That's an easy one," Sei smirked and leaned her elbows on the table. "Both."
One swipe of her hand had Sei nearly face down in her curry, Eriko and Shimako smiling, and both Yoshino and Rei laughing hysterically. Even Sachiko had a small smile on her face.