It was nights like these the crew didn't seek River out, didn't go near where they knew she would be.
Nights like these were what reminded them she wasn't normal.
She's hurting tonight, they know. And instead of lashing out or reacting any one of the ways they would, she dances.
River's in the cargo hold, they know. They're used to the music blaring from there now.
She's tearing around the metal grating, one corner to the next, passed a wall and away from the doorway, back to one corner and toward the ramp.
Nights like these the crew tries to ignore her because it makes them uncomfortable that their little albatross is so strong she doesn't need anything but to dance. She doesn't need them and she doesn't need ignored, she just needs to exist.
The music fills the ship, a deep voice singing words, words that let them know she's sticking to her pattern. Only time there's real music, music not in her head, that they can hear is when she's had a lover's spat.
It reminds some of them why they pretended to be ignorant to their merc sexing their albatross and for others it reminds them why they tried to encourage the relationship ending before it became more than sex.
Now, the words are grinding their nerves.
Baby, what are we becoming?
It feels just like we're always running.
Rolling through the motions every day.
They convene in the kitchen and Mal growls when he sees the liquor already gone from the stash area and Kaylee sighs, "Jayne musta taken it to his bunk."
Zoe looks at Wash and smirks at him as he holds Hope. "Husband, what do you say about landing for the night?"
Mal whips about to look at her but Wash is thinking as she stares at Mal in challenge.
"Hm. We're close to the end of the shipping lanes, could skip down and settle on Anon for a bit."
Mal opens his mouth to protest his ship being settled without his word but the music seeps louder through.
I could lean in to hold you.
Or act like I don't even know you.
Seems like you could care less either way.
It's then that Mal sighs and nods. "Zoe, go with your husband and see he sets us near a gorram bar. Ruttin' 'tross is givin' me a migraine only tang chun can fix."
"Aye sir."
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby?
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy?
Do I have you love? Am I still enough?
Tell me, don't I? Or tell me, do I, baby?
It's after they're settled the music goes off and River pops up in the kitchen just as Zoe and Wash come back. Everyone's present but Jayne.
"Riv, we're landed down on Anon. Thought to spend a night here."
River smiles to Zoe, hears the calm voice the first mate projects just for her. It's why Zoe's her best friend, why she's closer to her than any other. In her head, Zoe tells River of their need to get away from the fight and dance that is her and Jayne's volatile relationship. She tells River she should come with them, should cut Jayne loose and take up with someone else when she needs her itch scratched.
River giggles and beckons Zoe to hand over Hope. "Hm. Interesting." She smirks to Zoe as she holds Hope and bounces the baby. "Anon is full of criminals and we can lay low here for the night. But be careful. Go on, all of you get. Your witch can watch the ship and her Hope."
Simon smirks at Kaylee, thinking of dancing her around the floor already. His wife grins back and then looks to River. "Ya sure ya don't wanna go with us?"
Mal moves to River and tickles Hope, "Yeah 'tross, ya can dance there an' get away from ol'Jayne."
"A bar is not a place for a baby. But, if you would, take Jayne with you."
Zoe arches a brow and nods, Mal moves with Kaylee to collect Jayne as the others go to open the air lock. Zoe stands by River who sways.
"Keep a comm near, I'll have on in case ya'll need us."
River nods and accepts the comm, clips it to her dress pocket as Hope garbles.
"Jayne gonna be a handful?"
"He will cut loose."
Zoe drops her head, knowing tonight she'd be trying to reign Jayne in and keep him from breaking her friend's heart.
"Let him float."
Zoe looks up and River smirks, "Done with him. Done with the sad songs. He can go as he please, I will not wallow."
River feels the happiness radiate from Zoe and the older woman raises a hand to squeeze River's shoulder. "Good. 'Bout time you realize ain't gotta have a partner to dance."
"Lamby toes!"
Zoe grins and River frowns, eyes glassing a bit. "Be careful. Be wary of metal and tea." She shakes her head and wonders why the warning seemed important, shrugging at Zoe's look and then tilting her head to show Zoe to go. "Have fun, watch your back. If you come back and we're gone, I took Hope for a stroll. There's a lake over back yonder, not near the bar. Should be safe."
Zoe just nods, kisses Hope and pats River's hand as she moves to join her husband and crew.
If you want it,
Come and get it.
If you want it,
Come and get it.
You'll understand,
You take me as I am.
River's got the music softer and Hope's on the floor by her, the blanket from her dorm in the passenger area all laid out and the ship all locked up. She has toys out and Hope's giggling away as she plays.
Now, River feels a weight gone and knows she's let go of the relationship that was squeezing all the love out of her.
She should of known better than to expect Jayne to be the cord to tie off her bleeding and bring her back to life. She just wants to feel needed and to need, just wants to find someone who doesn't make her dance to music everyone hears because they understand the music she hears and they don't mind dancing with her when it plays.
With a sigh, River catches the toy Hope's tossed at her face to bring her back from her thoughts. The girl cries out and River lifts her to her lap, blows a raspberry at her and earns a giggle. She stands and eyes her bare feet, shrugs and moves Zoe and Wash's bunk. She keys the code in easily, used to having the knowledge after all the nights she spent coming in to check on pregnant Zoe or injured Wash. She was there for the couple when Wash was wavering between losing an arm and when Zoe was trying to tend her husband and the life growing in her.
River lays Hope down, makes soft noises to soothe her as she protests loudly and gathers the plush blanket Wash got Hope, ready to swaddle Hope in order to protect her from the bite of the chill air on Anon in their eternal autumn climate. She lifts the baby bag from the floor, looks in and sees the needed supplies and she shoulders it and lifts Hope.
River goes through the cargo hold, turns off the music and folds her blanket. She places it in the bag and then goes back to her dorm, placing a few of her spare weapons into the bag as well and finally she moves to the air lock and leaves after making sure the ship is closed.
I know these corners, I know these streets.
Curbside prophets they're yellin' at me.
He can save my soul for a drink and a dollar.
They keep starin' at my tattoos,
We all live with the scars we choose.
They might hurt like hell,
But they make us stronger.
In the small bar on Anon the crew sits around a table, laughing and drinking.
All except Jayne who had entered and stalked over to a stool at the front of the bar, slamming shots.
Zoe keeps one eye on him and one on the others and when Jayne starts to eye a blond working gal she stops Simon from going over, looks at Mal pointedly as his hand itches for his gun.
"Riv said to let him cut loose, said she's done and it's done."
The men settle and no one so much as frowns about the relationship dying. They knew their albatross deserved better and that Jayne wouldn't be the one to give her what she needs.
It's when Jayne's loud words about a feng le killer woman start reaching them that Zoe focuses on a dark man in a corner, hand holding to a metal cup that Zoe thinks may be steaming and she remembers River's words about tea cups and watching their backs.
She stands when he does, moves toward Jayne when he does.
"I tell ya, ruttin' feng le girl's got some o'the best legs I seen but cain't make a lick o'sense outta her when she's upset. An' that pretty much meant around me, girl couldn't say a word weren't a riddle! But gorram if that stopped the sex from being great." The leer he sends the blond makes the woman smile and Zoe knows she'll have coin in her bosom come morning.
The dark man stops as Zoe squares up between him and Jayne and the merc is oblivious.
"Man yours?"
By his tone it's just a question to distract her but Zoe knows this and she tilts her head as her crew watches her and the stranger.
"There a reason his words get to ya?"
The man seems to want to protest that his words got to him but he seems to rethink and she figures he knows protesting would prove her point. "There a reason they don't get to you? Seems like he's part of you crew, him and that table of yours. I imagine the girl he's talkin' on is one of yours too-so why is it you ain't concerned?"
Zoe smirks, jerks her head toward her table. He follows at her side and she speaks, "'Cause the girl he's talkin' on knows tonight's the one to cut him loose. She's fine."
"Why ain't she here cuttin' loose then?"
"Seems you got an interest in our 'tross stranger, why's so?"
He looks to Mal and Zoe wants to comm River and tell her to come to the bar just to meet the man here with the teacup who seems ready to kill Jayne just for talking on her.
"Sounds like an interesting girl."
"Bullshit."
The dark man looks to Kaylee who slurps some fruity drink through a straw and Simon smirks.
"You've been listening around, you focused when he mentioned River."
"May have met her once. She ain't a woman who deserves to have a man like him blurtin' her business about."
Simon blinks, "You know my sister?"
The man chuckles and drinks his tea. "Ah, you're the brother boob then."
Mal watches him closely and swallows hard as a tingle of awareness creeps over him and he lets the buzz he was building fall away so he can be ready to fight the stranger. "How's it you know our girl then friend?"
The dark man leans back and looks at Zoe, "River okay? She don't miss a night out or a chance to dance, where is she?"
"At the ship with my daughter. She wanted to stay in tonight with her goddaughter. Or, perhaps at the lake by now. She dances when she feels like it and she only goes out when she's got a reason, like saving our skins. Seems she ain't the girl ya knew."
"She's changed."
"There's probably a reason for it, when's the last time you saw her?"
He sets his cup down and Zoe glances at it, knows it's tea.
The man looks to the door and Zoe waits for him to stand and leave without answering her.
"I met her sometime during my first stint in prison. Alliance put me in a cage after I refused to keep quiet about their less than altruistic work. They moved me to a facility and I met a slip of a pale thing who had shakes like a hype and smelled like she'd been used for torture. 'Course, the people there were loading her with drugs and they was torturing her too. I was there to teach her to fight."
Simon swallows and Kaylee's slurping stopped when he mentioned the Alliance. Wash and Mal are sitting with wide open mouths and Zoe feels like River needs to get here now.
"You taught my mei mie to fight like she does?"
He looks at Simon and nods once. "Taught her a lot more than fightin', she was a quick study once I...I promised her I'd help her escape. Every lesson I ever taught her put more distance between who she was and what they did to her."
"You...you made her insane." Kaylee's voice shakes.
Zoe tilts her head and smirks. "No Kaylee, he showed her how to survive. What? Detachment to get through?"
"Partly. Some of it was immunity to drugs or showing her how to take a torture. Some of it was learnin' not to need or want for anything. She shut down from the shaking little girl and she turned into some kinda witch. It was a proud moment for me when the doctors there found out, couldn't regret it when they started in to kill me in hopes seeing her master killed would snap her. They wanted her to be her pet, regretted bringing in someone who gave her control."
His deep voice pauses and he seems to smile, a frightening sight as his face seems one more for scowling or looking blankly. It was like River, how her smile was never quiet right and she only looked normal if she was looking blank.
"Didn't know my witch was a dancer." His quiet words send Zoe's hand to the comm and he stops her with a tilt of his head, she knows his goggled eyes are zeroed in on the device and she huffs with a grin as she knows he's wanting to either stay of River's radar or surprise her.
"What do you mean?" Wash ventures to ask.
"I was chained up li'l man. Wasn't a way I'd of gotten out of there alive if she hadn't started to dance. She...she was holding back when I was teaching her to fight," he smirks. "She knew more than she let on. Wasn't so helpless as she let me think. She took what I taught her to do and she added her twist. It weren't fighting, it was dancing."
He grabs his drink and stands as the others are quiet.
"Ain't gonna sit her and listen to one of her worthless exes talk on her like that."
Zoe grabs a hand to his arm and he stops and looks at her.
"Really think she'd appreciate seeing you more than hearing you're on the run for killing Jayne."
He seems to consider and Mal clears his throat. "Ya know, ain't sure why a man like you is here anyway. Understand you're outta prison now but why ya in a bar drinking tea?"
"Waiting for a target, he ain't showed. I don't drink when I work, makes the killing longer."
"So you're an assassin?"
"Thought you figured as much what with how I taught your sister."
"You work alone?"
The silence is the answer.
"Hello Zoe, not to alarm you, but she'd just like to say that she and Hope are going for a swim to escape the bad intentions of the Erik man."
Zoe snatches the comm from her belt and answers as Mal and the others stand, "What? Riv, you at the lake?"
"Yes Zo. But, I won't hurt him. Bad to get blood on the blankets. And the water is quiet nice for wading, Hope will be safe-I promise."
Zoe glances at the man standing and looking to the doors. "Someone'll be there to help you wade out, stay put."
"Not necessary."
Riddick shakes his head at Zoe and so she doesn't answer.
"Sit back down. Erik Malt's my target. Seems I know why he ain't here. I'll go surprise my little witch, ya'll enjoy your drinks."
"She ain't yours."
"She's very much mine."
Zoe kicks Mal lightly. "Don't get blood on the blankets or you'll be the one washing 'em."
"Yes ma'am."
He starts to walk out and Kaylee frowns, "Hey! Wait, what's yer name?"
"Riddick. Don't tell Riv I'm coming. Hard to surprise her without spilling secrets."
"Riddick, get her back to our ship. An' don't think on leavin' her unguarded neither."
Riddick pauses at the doors and turns back to look at the captain. "That your way of saying I'm expected to stay on?"
"My way of saying we ain't near done talking and I expect my 'tross to want to catch up with you as well."
Riddick hits the doors and strides silently to the lake.
Slow to trust but I'm quick to love.
Push too hard and I give too much.
I ain't sayin' I'm perfect,
But I promise I'm worth it.
Now I'm standing here in front of you.
Tell me boy, what you gonna do?
River soothes Hope as she squeals and looks at the water lapping around her godmother's waist. The comm is nestled in the bag now and River put all that in a bush by the water.
River sees the shadow of the man weaving along from the road and she steps back and wants to make sure he doesn't hurt Hope.
The baby cries at the feel of the cool water and River watches Erik look from the sky to the water, knows he sees her and she tightens her hold on Hope and glares hard.
His mind screams in questions if maybe the woman's naked and if maybe she's a working girl and if maybe it don't matter so long as she don't see him when she comes out of the water.
"Not coming out hun dan."
River turns away and pretends to be splashing with her little bundle. She hopes the man loses interest, knows his mind has no thought of ruining his boots with water.
"Hey there miss! Ya alright?"
River growls at the call and turns with a gasp of surprise. She hopes it's believable.
"Oh, fine, thank you."
"Ya sure? What ya doin' in that water then? Ain'tcha scared of them creatures in there?"
"One creature will not harm another." And in truth, the fish and aquatic life brushing passed her legs now and again wouldn't hurt her. Though she knew some would as soon take a bite out of the man if he waded in as he would take a bite out of her. It was an animal thing, something she liked knowing and had tuned to a fine balance-she didn't hurt creatures and she didn't let others when she could help it. In turn, they protected one of their own.
"Darling you'll catch sick! An' that babe of yours!"
"We're safe here, thank you. Go now sir, our friend is coming and then we will come out."
Erik snorts. "Ah, 'friend' eh? He the one got ya the babe?"
"None of your business."
"Come on out girl, won't hurt ya."
River turns away from him and smiles at Hope, dips a hand in to the water and lets a snake slither onto her palm. Hope stares at it as it wraps about River's hand and River holds it carefully away from the girl, unsure if her goddaughter will wish to make a sudden move that could get her little chubby hands bit.
"Snake."
Hope scrunches her little nose and River knows she's trying to process the word. River sets the snake back into the water and it slithers away. She turns at the sound of a splash into the water and a fear squeezes her as she thinks he's charged in desperately and maybe Hope won't be safe. River freezes to see a familiar hulking mass by the water's edge, a body at his feet. The creatures who wish to move in and nibble the flesh that invades their habitat and River wants to move out of the water but she's frozen.
"Nice to know you ain't abandoned your animals."
Her breath stutters to hear his voice.
"Riddick."
"Yeah River. Come on out here, got catching up to do."
River looks down at Hope and holds her tight as she moves, passes the body and the creatures. Her dress clings to her and she shifts as she feels a shiver and stares at Riddick.
"Met my family."
"They were in the same bar as me."
"Who'd you meet?" Her voice is quiet and he senses the worry that he met her ex-lover.
"Your captain, your brother and a bubbly girl he called Kaylee. Small man and a woman seems to be fond of you, parents to the little one here."
River nods, "Mal. Simon and his wife. Wash and Zoe, their daughter Hope is my goddaughter."
Riddick reaches a hand out and lays it to the baby's head, ruffles her soft and curly hair.
"Didn't meet a man named Jayne, but I heard him talking 'bout a girl with great legs who couldn't talk 'round him for being so upset."
River ducks her head and Riddick remembers meeting the shy, crazy girl who was so lost. He remembers later, after he'd helped her become her own master, the way she was always shy about anyone noticing she was still a woman and not just an assassin.
"Wouldn't of met your crew I hadn't heard him. Got up to kill 'im when I realized the girl he talked about sexing was you. Memory says ya were never fond of kissing an' tellin'-hell, lookin' and tellin' so I thought I'd cut his tongue out. Zoe stopped me and we had a talk at their table."
River glances at him through her lashes. She shifts her feet and the dress is cold against her wet skin and it's still plastered to her. "Don't know why I did it. He's right, every time he came around me I was upset about something-thinking of another woman, thinking I'm still crazy, wanting to kill my brother-I heard it all the time from him when he was near but I still..."
Riddick works his jaw and tilts his head. "You still got that weakness witch?"
River's head falls again and she turns away, Hope burbling as she grabs the bag from the bushes and makes sure the blankets are tucked in. She starts walking from Riddick to the ship and feels him following her physically, in her mind only Hope and creatures around her are present. Riddick learned how to silence his world to hers long ago.
"It is not so weak to wish for someone to understand me and see me and still want me and need me. I just...I want a partner, want someone who can...Riddick, do you remember the first time I danced for you?"
Riddick steps beside her now, stops shadowing her and he looks straight ahead, goggles off as he keeps her safe in the night.
"'Member it well."
"Remember after?"
Riddick stops and turns to her, hand on her arm to stop her. "Think I could forget?"
River swallows and frowns. "Hoped you would, didn't know you couldn't."
He waits and studies her and she looks up, meet his eyes that always soothed her before and now rile in her a need to act and to speak and to live.
"They took from me. It still feels empty here," she lifts a hand to her chest and Hope's hand grabs hers as it settles above her left breast, slightly to the center. "You found me shattered but you put the pieces into a new design and I wasn't a mirror anymore, I was a dancer with blade hands. I...I thought they gave me to you to be your pet but you showed me how to be my own master as you were your own. Always belong to myself first, to you second and to them never. Your witch. But I need more than myself and a ghost. I need someone who looks at me, understands and then holds me when the music is screaming in my head and I'm dancing because I can't not dance. I need someone who hears it and dances too, dances with me because they want to and they need to."
River shivers and looks at the sky, Hope settling to sleep as she talks steadily and the familiar voice soothes her. "I need to be held and picked up when falling apart but someone who can hold me together when I need to be together and who can let me fall apart when acceptable. I don't know why I fucked Jayne, he had it backwards. He tried to put me together when I should fall apart, in his arms and alone with someone who I thought understood. He tried to make me fall apart when I should be together, out in public or with family around to see my shame. It was wrong. I just want something in my life to be right. Something that can tie me to reality and still let me gaze into fantasy."
Riddick is quiet. He examines his witch as she looks at the sky and then he releases her arm and moves on. He strides ahead and hears her sigh and he stops. She must think she's getting off easy.
"Hurry up witch, I don't know where your ship is and we gotta get there before you freeze to death."
River looks at him in surprise and he smirks. "Ain't that easy to get me gone again. I wouldn't of left your side in the first place, don't you know that?"
He turns and heads on and she moves to walk with him and lead him to the ship as she wonders about the man at her side.
Light bulbs buzz,
I get up,
And head to my drawer.
I wish there was more,
I could say.
Another fairytale fades to gray.
I've lived on hope,
Just like a child.
Walking that mile,
Faking that smile.
All the while,
Wishing my heart had wings.
Riddick and River sit on the ship in silence, a baby monitor on the table between them as Hope is asleep in the Washburne bunk.
River absently keeps her mind busy, counts all the numbers of dreams she's had where her beast was in them. Next she counts the days since she saw him, since she felt him, since she heard him, since she remembered him. She lets her mind play over all the times he called her his, counts those too. Counts all the weapons he'd ever showed her and thinks of all the ones she could show him-had to keep new ways to play his favorite game.
Riddick sits and watches River, knows she distracting herself so he lets his mind be distracted even as his beast is completely focused on his witch.
He remembers the first time he met her and lets his mind move through the memories he visited every night.
River tilts her head and stands, she drifts off and Riddick follows her with his eyes. As he hears her steps fade the baby monitor goes off and Hope's shrill cry fills the air.
"Shh, shh, hush little bit. You're okay, not missing anything Hope. Oh, want to eat? Hm...I suppose your mommy would allow a midnight snack if she were here, but we won't tell her about the animal cookies, m'kay? That's a good girl, there's my little giggler."
And Hope is quiet and giggling at River's melodic voice softly soothing her. Riddick lets his eyes close as he imagines the way River holds Hope, imagines her with the child and lets her words wash over him. He never thought he'd see his witch being maternal.
River walks in and his eyes open and she smiles to him. "Hope would like you to know she is not fond of sharing me but she will so long as you do not interfere in her midnight snack."
Riddick laughs and the deep sound makes Hope blink and then laugh.
River lifts Hope from cradling her and holds her in one arm on her shoulder. She reaches over the stove and into a cupboard, pulls out a box of animal crackers and reaches in, leaning Hope down and giving her three. One for her mouth and one for each hand.
Hope gums the treat and smiles, mushy bits spilling down her chin and onto River's dress-the same one still wet on her body.
Riddick looks over River, wonders absently if she'll catch sick.
River seems to feel his gaze and shivers, keeping her eyes away from him.
He stands and moves toward her, reaches for Hope but River feels and steps away quickly, both hand moving to her goddaughter.
Riddick stills and clenches his jaw.
"Ain't gonna hurt the kid. Wanted to tell you to go change, ain't gonna hear it when ya catch sick."
River swallows, "Don't think you'll hurt her but...hands to yourself Riddick." Her eyes don't meet his and he thinks maybe she doesn't trust him touching her, a thought that bothers him more than her thinking he'd hurt a defenseless baby. He doesn't have many morals but he doesn't deal in kids and he doesn't lay an unnecessary hands to his.
"No need to change, if I catch cold then I'll deal with it. Besides, Hope is going to get me messy so I might as well let my already dirty dress take the brunt of this night."
Hope seems to take her cue and cuddle her messy mouth into River's neck, smearing cookie and drool on her sleeve and neck and hair.
River just laughs and Riddick feels a twinge in his gut at seeing her so caring for the bit, he imagines her with a kid of her own and pushes it away when the image is his witch with a babe with silver eyes.
I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else.
Believe in me, even if someone can't see,
There's a stronger woman in me.
I'm gonna be my own best friend,
Stick with me till the end.
I won't lose myself again, never, no.
'Cause there's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman.
Riddick wakes up when a little fist hits his chest. He looks down to see River leaned against him as they lay on the couch and Hope's fussing in her sleep.
He remembers leaving the kitchen and going to the couch, hears the music still playing-a repeat of songs that River had put together, she said they were for when she had to dance.
Hope makes a little noise and he raises a hand, settles it on her back and thinks it'll soothe her. She moves more and he removes his hand and looks at the baby closer.
In her own state of sleep River seems to notice the baby fussing, she shifts against him, rolls closer to the couch and lifts Hope higher on her chest. The baby's face rests in the crook of River's neck and her little hand not hit at her heart. Seeming to feel the thrum of her pulse Hope fists a little fist in River's dress and cuddles closer.
"No one's gonna hurt you little bit, sleep now and dream well."
River's groggy mumbles reminds him of all the times she talked in her sleep and it soothes Hope as both girls pass out. He lays awake and listens to the music, the words. The songs were about strength and love and he would bet River listens to them when she's feeling down.
Words float to him then, a song he remembers her humming long ago.
What I'd give to bring you flowers.
...get you alone.
...bring a smile across your face.
...take you home.
...make you coffee,
Find out how you like your eggs,
Wrapped around you in the mornin',
A tangles lace of arms and legs.
What I'd give to let you love me,
Find out everythin' that bring you joy,
Wake up to your face above me.
I'd be that girl and you could be that boy,
Find out why that feelin' is,
Oh, what I'd give, what I'd give.
He remembers all the times he'd heard the song being hummed and he remembers the day she finally sang the words. It'd been a year since he'd met her and it was their first assignment from the Alliance, their first time killing a target together.
He'd showed her how to take a life and he'd held her after when she cried about it. He'd showed her how to take a life and when the tears wouldn't stop he just held her tighter and began to hum her song. She sang the words then.
What I'd give to take you dancin',
What I'd give to make you mine.
If you got questions, I got answers,
And my answer's yes to you every time.
What I'd give for just one minute.
What I'd give to count all the ways.
If your heart was dark with nothin' in it,
I'd give you mind and take your place.
What I'd give to let you love me.
Riddick looks down at the woman who had grown up from the girl he'd met while they were caged.
He wants to stand and leave, leave her peace and forget that he'd ever found her. He wanted to forget she wasn't happy, that she never found someone who could give her back what she gave them.
River opens her eyes slowly, blinking images of babies with silver eyes and a man who held her like she was his, a man who she fit with and who looked at her like he understood sometimes she'd break and he'd have to hold her to keep track of all the pieces.
She shifts and then stills. Because there's a baby on her chest and a muscular body supporting her and her mind moves back to her dreams as she looks down first. Her breath leaves to see Hope, surprised and unsure if it's good or bad that this child is her goddaughter and not her daughter.
She swallows and lets her breath even before looking to the man she lays on, meets silver eyes and she remembers the dead man and the lake and crew and leaving Jayne.
In a way I know my heart is waking up,
As all the walls come tumbling down.
Closer than I've ever felt before and I know,
And you know there's no need for words right now.
The crew walks back to the ship, Jayne shitfaced and Zoe alert.
Zoe hits the comm and murmurs, "Riv, ya'll shiny?"
A minute passes before she gets an answer. "Yes."
"Ya got company?"
"You know my answer."
"Gonna have words when we get back?"
A pause.
"Yes."
"Should I..." Zoe stops short of asking if she should knock out Jayne, wonders if the brute will get in the way of what Zoe expects Mal has planned.
"No. Didn't expect to have to deal with it though."
"Insisted on coming zhi hao."
"Of course."
Zoe laughs shortly and opens the ramp. She walks in first and River moves into the cargo hold, turns the music off deftly and Riddick comes in behind her.
Jayne seems to flare at the man being there and Kaylee swallows as she looks over everyone nervously.
"Hey! Hope got into my cookies!"
River laughs at Wash as he sees part of a tail on his baby's chin.
"Oops. Thought she wiped all the mess on me," she turns to mock glare at Riddick, "Could have told us she was red-mouthed!"
Riddick smirks, lifts a hand and wipes a thumb over Hope's chin as the baby squeals gibberish at her parents.
"Thought the look of crunched up creature's on her face made her look tougher."
River rolls her eyes and shoves an elbow lightly into his ribs.
Jayne's red in the face and River turns a hard gaze on him. She arches a brow and raises her chin and he mumbles something under his breath that even Zoe misses but has Riddick tensing.
River rolls her eyes and then looks at her beast. She leans up and whispers only to him, "He's not actually himself at the moment, drunk on alcohol and the blond woman's skills."
Riddick looks at her with worry that only she can read from years of learning his face. "If you kill him, they will object."
"You wouldn't."
"Would to. Have to have a distraction for our tetchy contacts to shoot at when we're doing crime and being bad guys. I certainly don't want any more scars."
"Your scars still burn?"
"Only when touched."
Zoe clears her throat and tilts a head toward the back of Jayne, the man stomping out. River grins and Riddick chuckles under his breath. She shrugs to the others and then moves forward, wiping Hope's face carefully and handing her to Zoe.
"Thanks Riv! We had fun an', as you can see, we met an old friend of yours!"
River nods to Wash who never could hold his drinks. She smiles at his near yelling.
"Husband, why don't we go make coffee and let the others close up here."
"Yes lamby toes. Come on li'l creature killer, let's go see if you made the dino's extinct."
Riddick stays by River as her brother moves closer to her and he eyes her wet dress. "You really went swimming..."
"Yes. Had to."
Riddick growls low and River shoots him a look that tells him to calm as Kaylee smiles at the protectiveness.
"So...why'd ya two stop seein' each other?"
The assassins turn surprised looks to Kaylee and stare as River goes red in the cheeks and Riddick shifts closer to her protectively, instinctively to hide her from something he knows makes her uncomfortable.
"Oh, I...I didn't mean to...I didn't know ya'll actually was seein' each other at some point, I just meant..."
River swallows and glances at Riddick, smirks slightly as he's looking at her.
"Maybe we should go check on that coffe. It's going to be a long night."
Riddick grunts and they head on quickly as Kaylee grins and Mal and Simon exchange befuddled glances.
You know the me that I remember always thought,
You had to keep it all inside.
Get in trouble being tender so you never say surrender,
But it took you to finally prove me wrong.
River closes her eyes as the crew asks questions. Riddick is in the chair beside her and Kaylee perches on Simon's lap.
"We were parted a few months before you broke her out, after she danced for me. She'd killed before, I saw to that but there's a shift in her work when she dances."
"We've seen the dancing."
River shakes her head, "You've seen the killing."
"That's just the killing?" Zoe's voice is appreciative and River smiles at her acceptance.
"She's a sight when she dances. Some of the worked in the facility thought so too. So they decided a new endeavor should be started, one that moves us together into a new facility and started new experiments."
River shivers and wrinkles her nose, "Tried to breed their prized mutts in the expectations of a little bundle of shiny that could make us look like clumsy, harmless, idiots."
Simon gapes. "They...they...they bred you?"
River skirts looking at him and Riddick lays a hand on hers.
"They tried."
The glint in River's eye has Simon closing his mouth and Riddick chuckles darkly. "Way I remember it, there was a few tries to get their research done that ended in blood."
Mal clears his throat. "Then why'd ya'll act so when Kaylee mentioned ya breaking up?"
River lowers her eyes and Riddick stills to wait for her to answer.
"Mei mei?"
River sighs and turns to Riddick, meets his gaze. "It had to be done. She had no other choice!"
Riddick glares at her now, grits out, "Coulda told me. I'd of handled it."
"No!"
He growls.
"No! Don't you growl at me beast! Your witch protected you! Had to be done! If...they were...and...no!"
Zoe leans forward as Hope cries out at the upset in River's voice. "Zhi hao."
River looks at Zoe and calms, takes a slow breath and explains. "The lead doctors were getting impatient. They were ready to..." she struggles with the words and finally bites out, "going to kill him and bring in the next tester, one who would give them what they wanted." Riddick's hand squeezes over hers and he wants to tell her he wouldn't of let them kill him or bring in another man to lay hands to his witch.
"So I...I seduced him." The table is quiet and River smirks slightly, sadly. "The doctors were glad to have what they wanted, so glad they celebrated. When they were busy I slipped him the chance for freedom."
Riddick growls low at the memory, the way she'd executed the task as if she'd been on auto. Looking back, he knows she was-his witch was using the programming of protector, squaring him away in the transport and allowing him the chance to break out. If she'd of been herself she'd of never been able to do it.
"What do you mean?"
"She killed one of their failed experiments, put me in their place on the transport out of the facility and to a prison nearby. My part was to break out. I was gonna go back for her, by the time I managed to get there I was met by River instead of guards."
River shivers, she remembers the meet distantly. "After he was gone they cut my brain open again, put in the commands. They had more control than ever and they made me..." River stops and swallows as tears threaten to leak and she looks at Riddick and lets her eyes fall to his chest.
"Here," she lifts a hand to ghost over the center of his chest, just shy of his heart because she'd tried to fight their command to kill him. "Here," she moves to his arm and the wound he'd sustained when he wouldn't let her get his throat, "and here." Her hand is at his ribs, he lifts his hand and settles his palm to the back of her hand. He raises it and glances at the wrist of her right hand, the small scars there from needles in her veins all that's left of what he'd seen that day. The wrist her remembers was mottled black and blue with bruises and caked with dried blood-she'd been chained up and she'd fought hard.
"River," Simon's voice is quiet, she looks at him as Riddick keeps hold of her hand. "were you pregnant?"
Riddick stills, he'd never thought she'd get pregnant after their one night together. He'd never wanted to consider it.
She stiffens and her jaw steels. "Yes."
He looks at her with a blank face and she ignores him as her eyes drift to Hope. "Not for long though. I was immune to their drugs. She wasn't."
Riddick lets go of her hand and stands, moves to the hall and toward the ramp as he wants to get away from all this night's shown him. A hand grabs his arm and pulls, nails dig in and he whirls in anger and pain.
"I'm glad she died painlessly rather than living a life of pain under their thumb."
He clenches his jaw and she steps closer, hand dropping to his waist and arms wrapping around him as her head lays on his chest. "Hate me?"
He raises his hand to fist in her hair, tilts her head back and looks in her eyes. His mind opens to her and he plays the images of what he'd been up to since healing from her marks.
He'd gone methodically through and killed every single person ever to be involved in hurting her or setting her up to be hurt.
River blinks back tears and smirks, "Guess not."
He glances away from her and to the crew of hers gathered in the doorway.
"That's enough for tonight. Everybody sleep, we'll finish this in the morning. Riddick, there's passenger dorms."
River pulls away from him and his hand lingers, her moving to catch his and holding tight.
"I'll show him captain. Goodnight."
She leads him to the dorms and he doesn't let go so she leads him into her room and pushes him onto her bed.
Riddick pulls her down with him, holds her close until they both fall into sleep.
How long has it been?
How long have you held it in?
An' how long will you wait,
Before you let somebody take your breath away again?
Riddick wakes to the feel of River shaking. He looks her over and feels the cold clammy skin he associates with her nightmares.
"Witch," he murmurs, rolls and looks down at her.
He falls back into the habit of long ago, kisses her temple and murmurs words into her skin.
Her eyes open and she blinks harshly. "Not a dream," she whispers as her eyes take him in.
He swallows and shakes his head, nuzzles closer to her.
River raises shaky arms and wraps them around his neck.
"It should have been different."
He stills at her whisper and pulls away. "What should have?"
"Everything."
Her voice is regretful and he doesn't like it. He lays back and pulls her onto his chest, "Tell me how it should have gone."
River leans her forhead against his chest and whispers, "Never should have gone to the cages-she should have been free and dancing. He should have been a fighter. Should have met in the dark, no cages or boundaries or masters, just dark and instincts." River shivers and snuggles closer, "Should have been there for each other without the thumb of the Alliance holding them together. Should have been together, made life and never have emptiness. Should have a little girl running around with shivs and ballet shoes, shouldn't have so much pain and emptiness."
Riddick rolls and pushes her into the bed, lets his hands fall to hers and drag them above her head. She stares up at him with watery eyes. "Can't change it."
"Should have prevented it."
"Can't change it." his voice is firm. It softens with his next words, "Can only control what we do next."
River looks into his eyes and her then her gaze drifts down to his lips, she smirks her invitation and he takes it like a dying man taking the elixir of life.
I wanna be the one who turns you on,
Makes love till the lonely's gone.
Be the man you dreams of all your life.
I swear I'll make it last until,
Tears of joy come pourin' from your eyes.
I wanna make you cry.
River lays in Riddick's arms, dress discarded with his own clothes.
She stares into the dark and whispers, "Are you going to take his offer?"
Riddick nuzzles the back of her neck, breathes her in and memorizes her all over again-lets his old memories be filed away for these new ones to take their place up front in his mind.
"Think I'd leave you?"
"Truth?"
He growls and pins her under him, lays his forehead against hers, "Ain't gonna let you go again."
"You know what I want."
"You've yet to learn I'm always gonna give you what you want witch. I'm not the type of man to let another tend to what's mine."
River nods once and swallows her tears. She doesn't trust her voice and she doesn't want to tell him that she's scared he'll leave her. She doesn't expect him to stay.
Tell me what to do,
And I'll do what you want me to.
'Cause darlin' I believe,
That I have fallen hopelessly and helplessly for you.
Zoe wakes early and goes to wake River, wants to talk with her friend about everything.
When she opens the door she pauses to see Riddick dressed and sitting on the edge of River's bed, staring at the sleeping woman as Zoe can tell she's sated.
Riddick glances up at Zoe and stands, moves passed her out of the dorm.
He pauses and murmurs quietly, "Your captain gonna let me stay?"
"Yes."
"I got business to handle. Hopefully I'm back before she's up-if I'm not, tell her I'll be back before ya'll leave."
Zoe nods and leads him out, goes to a crying Hope and lets River sleep.
The hours pass and a sleepy River appears in a fresh dress, tousled hair in a bun and lips bruised.
She looks at Zoe and frowns. She looks down and sniffles, "He'd gone."
Zoe shakes her head and moves closer with Hope, "He's coming back."
River sets her jaw and nods, drifts off and to her dorm.
I wanna be the one who turns you on,
Makes love till the lonely's gone.
Be the man you dreamed of all your life.
I swear I'll make it last until,
Tears of joy come pourin from you eyes.
I wanna make you cry.
Riddick curses to be stuck in transport with Johns, vows to ghost the merc. He curses shitty luck and then he curses God when the small inconvenience turns into a trip to a dead planet.
Mal and the others watch over River as her moping worsens. She holes up in her dorm as they drift in the black, Zoe visiting with food and support.
River finally emerges from her bunk with a baby bump showing and Jayne laughs his ass off.
"Oh, man, ya mean to tell me ya sexed him an' he left ya with a li'l bastard? Oh, I'm lovin' this."
River stares at Jayne stoically and Zoe stomps up behind him, mare's leg in hand. She cracks the butt of it to his head and the thump as he hits the ground has Hope startled. River cries silently as her friend gathers her in a hug and she whispers, "Hurts so bad, miss him and hate him and want him and need him and it hurts."
I swear I'll make it last until,
Tears of joy come pourin' from your eyes.
I wanna make you cry.
Riddick growls as he settles his ship on the grounds of Hera. He moves to the small room in the back and grabs Jack, passed out from the stress of escaping the bounty hunters and moving nonstop to find Serenity.
He stalks across the dirt and to the air lock that's open. He hears a scream and nearly runs but Jack's injured and weak so he hurries.
He makes it to the source of the infirmary where River is laid on the table and trying not to yell. Her eyes look into his and he stills to see her hands on her very round stomach.
"You hun dan!" Mal hisses the words as he draws his gun and Zoe steps between him and River. Jack groans in her sleep and River grits her teeth.
"Simon," she pants, "she's dying Simon. Fix her."
Wash holds Hope in one arm and his other connects his hand to River's, something he'd done for Zoe and he'd stepped up to do it for River.
Riddick lays Jack on the counter as River's on the table and he strides to his witch.
"River," she glares and shakes her head once.
"Kinda busy right now, we can talk later. Get out."
"River,"
"Out."
"No! I'm not leaving your side."
River glares at him and lifts her chin. "My child, not yours. Go now please."
Zoe shifts closer to River with a sharp look and the girl on the counter groans. River blinks and winces, feels a contraction and almost screams.
"Zoe!" she pants and Zoe moves to her side, takes her other hand and coaches her breathing. Riddick moves forward and Zoe whips her gun out.
Jayne laughs as he walks by the infirmary and Mal yells at him.
Riddick growls and moves forward, "Ya gonna shoot me, do it now so I can get to being by my witch."
Zoe looks at Wash and he lets go of River's hand, pecks her temple and moves to stand by his wife as Riddick goes by River's free side.
"Ain't leaving your side any time soon." His voice holds a warmth that echoes promise and warning at once.
"Why not, you had no problem doing so when you said you wouldn't." River's voice comes out thicker and she stares straight ahead, ready to contribute the tears threatening to the birthing she is doing.
Riddick growls in frustration, pissed at himself for missing her pregnancy, for having left, for all his screw-ups. He lets her see the truth of it all and she rolls her eyes.
"How is it you've survived so long?" She see flickers of her least favorite blue-eyed devil, of raptors and Jack crying, of bounty hunters and frozen killers used for sex. "Glad Jack killed her. You've gone soft."
Riddick hears the teasing that she uses to try and cover the tinge of jealousy and chuckles, "Had a witch to come back to."
"Brought your own child with you."
River looks over to Jack and smiles at her, knows if their first child were here she'd be just about Jack's age, almost ten now.
"She's useful with a gun and she doesn't mind fighting. Pain in the ass when she's bored."
"Should have taught her to dance."
"Thought you'd want to do that."
River nods once and then groans as a big contraction hits. She squeezes Riddick's hand and Wash grins at having been spared the broken hand that would happen before night's end.
Simon finishes with Jack who is awake and groggy. The girl blinks and looks over to River. "Hey, Riddick," he looks at her and she smiles, "You're right, she's really beautiful."
River laughs and then cries out as she pushes.
The labor is hard and painful and Jack ends up tackling Jayne before it's over-an easy feat as he staggers drunkenly and tries to find where he left his bunk. After it's over, a baby boy screams the sun up on Hera.
I wanna make you cry.
Jack holds Rafe F. Riddick and coos as quietly as she can.
"Jack, stop spoiling him."
She glances at her surrogate mother, grins and shrugs, "He likes it."
"He also likes to play with shivs but that's not allowed either."
Jack sighs, "How's he gonna learn to talk for himself iff'n I don't start showing him now?"
"No curse words."
"I'm not!"
"The whole song you're singing is curse words!"
"There's some names in it."
"Jack."
"Fine."
Riddick smirks at his family as he hauls crates. He finishes and moves to wrap an arm around River, holds her close and revels in the sight of his cubs.
"My beast," he glances at River and she grins. "a surprise."
He waits for her to explain but she doesn't. "What witch?"
River glances at Jack who smiles wide and calls Zoe. The woman comes in holding Hope's hand in one of hers and a cake balanced on her other palm. She present it to Riddick and he reads the words written in blue, "Stork?"
He looks at River and his eyes drop to her stomach instinctively, he barely hears her explanation of Earth-that-was stories of a stork who delivered babies. His mind latches to the important words.
"Pregnant. Two. Twin boys."
He sweeps her up, kissing her hard as he holds her firmly but carefully and Jack and Zoe laugh as Hope claps and Rafe squeals.
Jayne moves passed the celebration as Mal, Simon, Wash and Kaylee join the others, grumbling to himself still bitter.
Jack murmurs to Rafe, "Hun dan, say hun dan Rafe, say Jayne is a pansy ass hun dan with no balls and girl's parts."
"Jack." Riddick warns.
Little Rafe quiets and then garbles, "Han dan!" Silence. "Han dan! Han dan!"
Hope giggles and screams it with the younger child and Zoe and River glare at Jack as Riddick and Mal laugh and Simon, Wash and Kaylee try to hold in their laughter.
"Jack," Zoe's voice is dangerous and the girl steps toward the halls.
River cuts in, "You taught them the word now you unteach it."
"But,"
"No buts," River warns and Jack sighs.
"What if I teach 'em only to say it to real hun dans?"
Zoe and River exchange looks and Riddick laughs louder, "Jack, just don't have 'em yellin' that in the middle of the night and we're good."
"Wait a minute, don't teach my girl to say it when I hide the cookies either!" Jack laughs at Wash and nods.
"So. Can we have cake now?"
They slice the cake and Jack holds her piece away from Rafe as he reaches for it with icing messed fingers. He squeals at being held out on and screams, "Hun dan!"
River laughs and Jack shakes her head with a grin, "Shoulda seen that one coming."
Do I-Luke Bryan
Take Me As I Am-Sugarland
Stronger Woman-Jewel
What I'd Give-Sugarland
Breathe-Faith Hill
Belongs to You-Emerson Drive
I Wanna Make You Cry-Jeff Bates