"Come on Harry!! Come on we have to get down there, it's my17th birthday for crying out loud!!" Ron screamed, I had locked myself in the bathroom, this was supposed to be the best night of my life, but as it turns out it isn't. My stupid X boyfriend is going to be at my stupid best frie- I mean X best friend, stupid birthday and I'm locked inside a bathroom while I sulk.

"I am not coming out, go down to your stupid party then!!!!" I screamed through the door. I could hear more footsteps and a too familiar voice asked what was wrong, I could feel my heart clench and angry tears made their way to the corners of my eyes.

I had gone without hearing that fucking voice for almost a year and now, NOW, the bastard turns up, and I have to hear his stupid voice again, man this party is gonna suuuuck, anyway my X starts to talk to Ron about something I can't hear, me on the other hand has a lot of trouble with the I'm not gonna cry issue.

I herd a soft knock on the bathroom door and his sweet voice that had made me cry out in happiness , sadness, joy and in the end agony. He had left me for another and even now it still felt as if were yesterday I herd him say it.

-Flashback-

"Harry, I have found another person I like" he said, his gray eyes had never been so cold as they were at that time, "what do you mean, you said you loved me! You told me we would be together forever!" I whispered, my eyes wet with unshed tears, it felt like he had ripped my heart out and left me there to bleed. "I don't want to play with you anymore, your not exciting me enough, not good enough for me" he said, not a single emotion ran through his eyes or his face, it was like staring into a statues face. Cold. Oh so cold.

"but, but you said you lo-" I didn't get to finish before the door opened and a girl stood next to him, her arms wrapped around his waist and her full lips kissed his cheek. "you took so long, you said it would only take a minute" she whined, oh I hated her, I hated both of them. "sorry my love, it took some time to get it through his ugly and thick head" he said, she giggled "oh Draco, you are so cruel, now lets leave the trash behind" she smiled, they walked away, she took him with her and he didn't even look at me.

-End of Flashback-

it had taken me almost a year to come over the brake-up, my eyes had been dead for almost 2 months before Ron and his family, Hermione, Neville, Seamus, Dean and Luna and even Pansy and Blaise helped me, though they were his best friends, had any kind of emotion run through my face, and then one day I woke up my head totally clear of what had happened, it all seemed like a dream, or more like a nightmare, to me. And for the first time I cried over him, I cried over my first and probably only love I would have. But I got over it, and I was fine until I saw him at Ron's party.

He looked so good, not like he had suffered, but then again he wouldn't, he had a girlfriend he could have sex with. I kicked the trashcan that was standing up against the wall, it flew through the air before crashing into the wall. I could still remember his hands on my body, his lips and my neck, his eyes that burned into mine. I took some deep breaths, I felt like screaming out in anger, I thought I was done with these feelings towards him, thought I had gone through it all.

And now I'm going through it all again. I have only cried that one time over a guy and I haven't cried since, I've tried to feel something, but I can't my body wont let me feel anything, and now it feels so much. I didn't answer him, I didn't even listen to him, my eyes weren't teary anymore. I checked myself out in the mirror, I stared into the pale face, my hair had grown quite a bit, it almost reached my ass, my green eyes were bright, brighter than they had ever been when I was with him, and the eyeliner helped a lot.

I sucked at one of my snakebites, I looked hot, my black and green one sleeved t-shirt fit tightly around my small frame, and my black pants hung low on my hips, they fit me perfectly, chains hung from the black leather belt with rainbow colored studs. My tattoo showed at the side with with no sleeve, a big green snake that wrapped its body around my arm and it's head that landed on my shoulder. I looked down at my body and smiled, yes I looked hot, he was going to regret this. I ripped the door open and looked him straight in the eye.

He looked surprised for a moment, but then a gentle smile came across his lips, I felt the urge to cry again, but quickly pushed it aside, this was not the time for sentimental moments. As I passed him a hand grabbed my shoulder, I looked into his gray eyes, "aren't you gonna say hello?" his smile as gentle as I had ever seen it, I smiled back and turned around, and before he knew what was happening I lifted my foot and stomped as hard as I could down on his foot. He made a silent cry of pain, he looked at me with a shocked expression, "I hate you" I said with a sickening sweet smile on my pale pink lips.

I walked down stairs and could hear his slightly slower footsteps behind me, I walked over to Hermione and grabbed a beer and quickly downed it, she looked at me then over at Draco that looked at me, she then looked at me with a pained look. "I'm sorry" she whispered to me, I flashed her a small smile "it's okay " I turned around when a person yelled my name, I saw Ron smiling at me from the bar.

I scowled at him but went over to him and send him a massive glare, "I'm sorry Ry, but Blaise almost begged me to let him come" Ron said in an almost whiny tone, a small frown on his face, I smiled at him and nodded "it's okay Ron I know you didn't want to let him come" Ron smiled.

I looked out at the packed dance floor, bodies smashed close together, heads thrown back in a silent moan as their partners hands roamed their bodies, lips sucking onto the neck that they bared just for them. I looked at them, all of them, it all seemed to make a thick feeling of jealousy run through my veins. Why. Why did they have it all, why couldn't I get a single person to love me more than a friend.

And then I saw him, dancing with a girl, grinding his hips against her freaking ass, my whole body tensed, I stared at them, for so long, and it were as I had been thrown a year back in time, it flashed before me, like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from.

"don't want to play with you anymore, your not exciting me enough, not good enough for me"

I smiled, the words were still as clear to me as they were back then, his cold eyes now stared at me for the second time, I stared back at him, for the first time in my time with him, I could see him clearly. And even though I felt like shit, a small smile made it across my lips, I could feel thick hot tears fall down my cheeks. I didn't care though, my smile were intact and I felt like laughing.

I saw him stop dancing, stopping the slutty dance with the girl, I could see the scowl and questioned look upon her pretty little face, her red hair fell around her face, I bowed my head as I identyfied her, Ginny Weasly, it only made me want to laugh harder, and I started laughing, I laughed until my stomach hurt, until my lungs felt like they would break, I laughed until I realized that the laugh had turned into sobs. I quickly stood and turned my attention towards the door, my friends stood around me and before they could ask me what was going on I ran.

I ran towards the door, as I got out from the house, I ran to my car, threw myself inside it and drove away. I could hear a voice yelling but I didn't care. I drove faster than I should, I could hear the police chasing me once, but they soon stopped as I just started to drive faster and more crazy. I realized that I had been driving for almost an hour when I started to drive home.

I walked inside my apartment, I could see the red light on my machine blinking, they'd already left messages? I pushed the bottom and the machine said "you have 13 new messages" in it's monotone voice. I walked over to my closet, ripping the curtains away, I grabbed a Jack Daniels Whiskey bottle, opened it threw the cap away and took a big swing at it.

The burning feeling felt pleasant against my throat, my eyes closet as the tears kept falling. I took another large swing at the bottle before sitting down on my floor, I took my socks off and sat there in the middle of my apartment, crying while listening to my friends worried messages on my machine.

"I'm so pathetic" I mumbled, I took another large swing, I wanted to burn the feelings away, I didn't want to feel ever again. It was painful enough to live alone, in the apartment you and your X had shared until he decided to go straight on you. "00:30 am. message number... 13..." I had closet my eyes waiting for another message from Hermione that shouted that I needed to call her.

"Hi, Harry it's me" a short pause were made "Draco" my eyes flung open and I tared at the machine with a horrified look in my eyes. No, no, no no no no! HE was NOT supposed to call me, he of all people in the world should NOT call me! I waited for him to say something but nothing came, "I, I know I'm the last person in the world you want to talk to at the moment" I snorted "but, but ... I want you to know that … that, I didn't mean to hurt you" I stared at the machine in pure hatred and feeling a little betrayed, by the machine, I'll admit it doesn't make sense but I was drunk so who cares?

I stood up, my head spinning and my feet falling over each other, as I made my way towards the machine with a lot of stumbling and cursing. ".. I never meant to hurt yo-" more I didn't get to hear before I had ripped it out of the wall, my heart beating so hard I felt like dying. I felt to my knees, my body couldn't hold me up anymore, the hurt that filled my heart spread like a fire in a dry forest.

"I didn't mean to hurt you"

I shook my head, trying not to think about it. I looked around the living room, bottle, I need, I need the bottle, need to forget, the pain. Those were the only thoughts in my head, I found my bottle and downed the last of the remaining liquid, which was a lot I found out., much of it slid down my chin and down at the wooden floor.

Short after that I fell a sleep on the hard floor, well I think so because I woke up there about 2 hours later, my mind was still a little bussed and I looked around to see what had woken me. Then when I was about to lie down again some one knocked at my door. I stood up, my legs shaking a little but I made it to the door, I still had my bottle in my left hand.

I opened the door, it was pretty hard I spend like 10 minutes trying to get it open, and I stared into a pair of gray eyes, I stared for a minute before starting to close the door. His foot came in the way and after trying to press the door closed I just left it open, instead I went over to my closet again to find another bottle of something that could get me drunk.

I herd the door close and some foot steps before it was quiet in my apartment again, I turned around to see him sitting in my couch, well his couch he picked it out when he lived here, I stared at him while opening the new bottle of something I didn't know what was, but I guess it was vodka course it tasted like shit.

His cold eyes stared at me for a long time, I had downed the half of the bottle before he said something, "why did you run?" his eyes bored into mine, I shrugged before saying "I didn't want to look at your face" my voice were slurred but you could hear the anger in it.

"why did you laugh?"

"because I thought it was funny"

"what was funny?"

his voice were forced to sound calm, I knew this, "because after all these months I still manage to cry over someone who doesn't want to play with me anymore" I said, my voice a little lighter than before, his face wore a shocked expression. "wasn't that what you said to me when you left me?" I asked, his eyes widened a little before returning to normal, his face became cold again.

I took another swing of the bottle, "yes that's what I said" he said in a low voice, "then what are you doing here?" I asked. I felt my head spin again and the pleasing feeling of numbness made it's way through my body, "I wanted to see you" he said, I didn't know when he had stood up and walked towards me, but suddenly he was 1 foot away from me.

I looked up at him, "no, you just wanted something to put your dick in 'cause the bitch dumbed you" I smiled a wicked and glee full grin at him. His eyes became soft, "I really messed you up didn't I?" his hand touching my cheek, and it was only then I realized that I was crying, yet again over the same stupid boy.

I flinched away from his hand, stepped away from his inviting body and glared at him through angry tears. "why" I whispered, his expression softened a little more, he tried to pull me towards him but I stepped out of his reach, the bottle in my hand dropped to the floor, the liquid spreading across the floor. "why" I whispered again, my voice were shaking with rage.

"why, why ,why, why, WHY!!" I screamed at him, my tears rolled down like waterfalls. "why are you doing this to me?" he didn't answer. "who gave you the right to do this to me" I whispered in a calm tone, I wanted to hit him, wanted to beat him until my body couldn't beat anymore.

"I don't know" he said, I just looked at him, trying to figure out why he was doing this to me again. "I don't know why I left you, I don't know why I left with that girl" his expression were soft, his eyes were soft and I could feel the warmth of his body, though I weren't near him.

I fell to my knees again, my body was shaking and my eyes were drowned in tears. "why can't I throw you away." I whispered, "I've been broken into so many pieces and still I can't stop thinking about you" I felt arms around me, pulling my towards them. I was to tired to resist, I gave up I couldn't fight it anymore.

I felt him, his arms around me, his lips pressed to my forehead, I felt him rocking my slowly side to side. I looked up at him and I realized that I would eventually forgive him, not because I wanted to but because I had to. He looked down on me and pressed his warm lips against my cold trembling and slightly wet ones. I sighed in some kind of happiness, my eyes fluttered close and I let myself feel again, his kiss became more possessive, wilder and wilder until I had to break it because I needed air.

He looked at me with dark lustful eyes, he carried me into the bedroom and threw me onto the bed, his body covered mine in one swift moment. I felt like I got drowned in his kiss, drowned in his passion, I didn't know what to do, my heart and body was screaming for more but my mind kept telling me to stop.

Draco looked down on me, his eyes shining like the moon. My heart skipped a beat, he had never looked at me like that, never looked at me while we were having sex. I smiled at him "you didn't used to look at me before" I whispered, he just stared at me for a while "I was embarrassed by the thought of being gay, my parents didn't know I was gay" he whispered back, I nodded "they do now?" I asked, he just nodded before kissing me again.

Hiss hands slid down my sides before they went up to my chest and started to rub my nipples. I moaned into his mouth and he slipped his soft tongue inside my mouth, as I pulled him closer I could feel his erection through his jeans. I smiled into the kiss when I herd him groan as our erections brushed each other.

I felt my pants getting ripped off and my shirt followed after them, my heart was beating rapidly inside my chest, he started to remove his own shirt and pants. His skin shone in the moon light and I gasped as I looked at his firm body, I squirmed nervously as his eyes roamed over my body.

His lips kissed my lips, my jaw, my neck and went down to my chest. It felt surreal, if I woke up now I would kill myself, I had missed this for so long, I gasped as I felt his hand stroke my cock, I froze as I felt his tongue on me, he had never done that before.

I felt like I was in heaven, I had my hand curled up into his blond hair, I gasped and moaned at every move he made, he sucked hard and I had to stop myself from coming inside his mouth several times. "D-Draco I'm uuhn I'm aaah I'm gonna c-come" I moaned, he smiled around my cock before giving it a very hard suck, I screamed out as I came into his mouth, he swallowed it all, licking every last drop he had spilled.

My cheeks flushed even more than before and I groaned as I felt a wet finger slip inside my hole, his lips were again pressed against mine and I almost forgot about the not so pleasant feeling in my ass. His lips moved against mine and his tongue stuck it in between my lips and I could taste myself, which was a little weird.

I moaned again as he started to suck on my neck again, I really reeeeaaaallyyy love the way he licked, kissed and bit my neck. He withdraw his fingers which made me groan, but then I felt something bigger enter me, slowly I got filled up by Draco's cock. I moaned as he started to thrust into me, I could feel myself getting hard again, I could hear him moaning into my ear, I gasped as he hit a spot inside me that made me want to scream.

"aah, mmnah, a-agin Draco again, yeess right t-there!" I moaned, his thrusts become violent and fast I screamed as I came again, he groaned before he came inside me, he collapsed on me and we both panted heavily. Too tired to get dressed he just rolled on to the side his cock slid out of me and we laid there for a little while before he whispered "I love you" I froze and slowly turned my head towards him, I stared at him for a moment before mumbling "what?" my face were pure confusion.

"I love you, I've always loved you, even the day I left you" he whispered, sadness flickered over his face. "then, why did you leave?" my voice was barely a whisper, "because I had to tell my parents that I wouldn't marry the girl they had chosen for me, but I had to break you with you so you wouldn't be sad if I couldn't cancel the wedding" he send me a small smile before continuing, "that was why I thought that if I left you it wouldn't hurt so much, than if I got married to a woman I didn't even know" he laughed a cold almost mechanic laugh, "but now, when I look back at it, I can see that it was so incredibly stupid" I could feel tears run down my cheeks, yet again, and I smiled.

"and, your not going to marry her?" my voice were shaking, his eyes bore into mine "no, I'm not going to be with her" he smiled "it took me a whole year to get out of the marriage and I wouldn't ant to be with anyone else, because I love you".

My smile widened and I closed my eyes, it felt like heaven, hearing those words leave his mouth, I sighed when he pulled me close and held me while pressing his mouth onto my forehead. As we fell a sleep I knew I had to call my friends the next morning, tell them that I was okay and that I was hopefully back with Draco.