AUTHOR'S NOTE: Here I am with ANOTHER one-shot! Complete craziness! SO, this entire piece is DIALOGUE ONLY…I read a fic once like it, only it was much shorter, and I really liked how it came out. Basically, it's laziness in its full glory. Harry/Hermione again – enjoy!
"Hermione, what are you doing here?"
"Oh, I had some paper work I had to finish up before I left. It took longer than it was supposed to. What are you still doing here?"
"Well, I could also say that I had paperwork, but that wouldn't even cover the half of it."
"I know what you mean."
"Yeah."
"How are the kids? It seems like I haven't seen them for a long while."
"Oh, they're good. James and Albus are fighting as much as ever. Nothing's changed even though Al got into Gryffindor just the same. Lily is great though; she's like the mediator between those two. And Rose? Hugo?"
"Hugo just can't seem to get enough information about Hogwarts. He bothers Ron and me nonstop about the place and when Rose got back he switched gears and then asked her the very same questions. Not that she minds; she's just as excited to deliver the details."
"Heh. Of course. Sounds great."
"Sure, if you don't mind the constant badgering for a wand so that he can play too."
"Hey, I get my fair share of that from Lily, remember?"
"That's right."
"You know, the kids miss you guys. It's been an entire two weeks since we've seen all of you and it's the summer. Why don't you come by tomorrow and we'll have a family dinner?"
"That sounds great. Rose and Hugo will be thrilled."
"Good."
"Yes. Well, have a good night, Harry."
"Hermione, wait. We haven't had a chance to really talk for a while."
"True."
"Come on, sit. How have you been?"
"I've been doing well. Work has been keeping me busy lately and I haven't had the chance to see Rose and Hugo as much as I'd like."
"Who watches over them while you and Ron are working?"
"They've been able to stay with Molly and Arthur. They love it at the Burrow."
"Naturally."
"Molly and Arthur just adore having the kids. It gives them something to be occupied with, I suppose."
"I see. And Ron?"
"You see him a bit more than I do lately."
"I'm sorry about that. Things just haven't lightened up. You'd think that with Voldemort long defeated that dark wizards would just disappear, but that doesn't seem to be the case."
"No, Harry. Don't worry about it. I completely understand."
"Then what is it? Ron's concerned, Hermione. He's told me that things aren't at their best with you two."
"He's right."
"What's wrong?"
"It's just…we're constantly fighting."
"…and how is that new?"
"It isn't new – and that's just the problem. We're stagnant, Harry."
"You're married, Hermione. Things are supposed to be stagnant. Plus, Voldemort's dead and the good guys won; we don't have to be on the run anymore or worry about being attacked."
"Oh, I know that. It's not some middle-age crisis, Harry. I'm bloody thirty-seven years old and have years left to live."
"Then what's the problem?"
"I'm not sure!"
"…"
"…"
"That doesn't help at all."
"Well…we're bickering, as usual, and it's even worse than before. I mean, even I can tell that our fights are over such tedious things – worse than normal! And…and the make-up sex is abysmal."
"Right…I think that's just a touch too much information, Hermione. I love you both beyond death, but there are some details that I can stand not to…"
"Do you love me, Harry?"
"Of course I do."
"Really?"
"Yes, really – you've known this. What are you going on about?"
"Nothing. Never mind."
"Hermione, what is it?"
"Nothing, Harry! Forget it."
"Hermione, don't walk away. What's wrong?"
"Harry, let me go. We'll talk later."
"But, Hermione, I don't understand."
"It's nothing! Let go, I have to go, the children will be waiting up."
"Hermione, stop! Tell me what's the matt–"
"—"
"What was that?!"
"S-Sorry, Harry…I don't know what I was thinking…"
"Hermione!"
"Damnit, Harry! What do you want from me?!"
"Hermione, I-I wanted to talk. I wanted you to tell me what going on between you and Ron. I wanted to understand what's gotten into you two lately. Not that. I didn't want you to kiss me!"
"Well, that is what's wrong, Harry!"
"Hey! – You kissed me!"
"No, Harry! You've been kissing me all this time!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Ever since that night at the Christmas party—"
"Hermione…"
"You've been in my head. Stuck in my head, and you won't go away!"
"Hermione…"
"It just replays over and over in my mind. I can't let it go!"
"But, Hermione…"
"That's the problem, Harry. Without you realizing it, you've been kissing me since that evening."
"But I haven't! We decided to forget that evening! Never mention it again!"
"I understand, but Harry – nothing's the same. I can't go back pretending that my life is perfect!"
"Of course your life isn't perfect – no one's life is perfect!"
"Gods, stop patronizing me, Harry. Just STOP it. I'm telling you what the problem is, all right? Ron and I aren't the same anymore! It wasn't just because of that evening, either! It started before that, but that's when I truly acknowledged that there was a problem."
"All because of a kiss."
"It wasn't just a kiss!"
"It was just a kiss, Hermione! Only a kiss! I had too much firewhiskey, you were drunk, Ron was passed out, and Ginny…Ginny was asleep. I don't even remember how it all started, but it ended. It's over and we're never bringing it up again."
"…I'm not happy, Harry."
"Well, I am! I am blissful, actually! Well, I was until now. I love Ginny – I'm in love with Ginny. We have three beautiful children together that I love to pieces. I wouldn't trade them for the world, Hermione. Not even if that world had no dark wizards in it."
"…"
"I'm sorry, Hermione. Really, I am. It hurts me that you and Ron are having these problems – I love you guys and I want you two to be happy. Looking at you two, I figured that you would be together forever."
"So did I."
"Come here, Hermione. Come on."
She sighs.
"We'll figure something out, okay? You need to speak with Ron. Talk with him, and tell him the problems you're facing. Maybe you and Ron could go to a marriage counselor?"
"Ugh…that would be awful."
"It would do better than ignoring these issues."
"True…"
"No more of this snogging stuff, okay?"
"…All right, Harry. Honestly, I'm embarrassed. Sorry about that."
"Don't worry. It's no longer a big deal. You just shocked me, is all…Come on, let's get out of here."
"Yeah, sure."
"Umm…hi. Can we talk?"
"Yes, of course. What's on your mind, Harry?"
"The kiss."
"…What?"
"The kiss. Our kiss. Well, kisses now, I suppose."
"What?? Why?"
"I don't know, Hermione. I meant every word that I said the other night. I'm in love with Ginny, but that kiss…"
"Harry!"
"I know, Hermione, I know! I don't know what's come over me, but now it's as if you're all I can think about. It's like a spell or something…You didn't…"
"Of course not! How could you even think that I would do such a thing?!"
"I mean no offense, Hermione! It's just…what else could it be?"
"Hmm…I don't know, attraction, perhaps?"
"Don't be sulky. It's your fault."
"My fault?"
"Yes, your fault. If you didn't kiss me in the first place…"
"Hang on! I don't recall being the instigator back in December…"
"Well, if you weren't wearing such a revealing dress…"
"Harry James Potter, how dare you call me a slag!"
"I never called you a slag!"
"You implied that I was dressed like—"
"—"
"…"
"…Merlin's beard."
"Mmm…yeah."
"We were arguing."
"Yeah…"
"And then you…"
"Yeah…"
"…That's just what Ron does! Is that what all men do??"
"What?"
"Keep your lips busy so you stop yell—"
"—"
"…Whoa! Wait just a time turner! Ron! We've just started talking, sorting things out…They're actually getting a little better, you know. We're not fighting as much, and…"
"And the make-up sex?"
"…still dreadful."
"That's what I thought."
"—"
"…Oh, Gods…wait, Harry…what about Ginny?"
"Listen Hermione. I'm not sure what it is, but I can't get my mind off you. I don't know if it's a spell, curiosity, or just damn horniness. But whatever it is, I don't think we'll be able to get past it if we don't just get it over with."
"Get it over with?"
"Exactly."
"We'll just…experiment, you're saying?"
"Sure. We can call it that, but let's just get to it. I love you Hermione, I truly do."
"And I love you."
"So let's show each other how much."
"Oooh…all right."
"Hey, Hermione?"
"Oh, hello Harry. What is it?"
"Do you have a couple of minutes to spare?"
"Of course."
"It's just I wanted to talk to you about the McDowe case."
"Uh…Sure. Come in and shut the door."
"Thanks."
"…'The McDowe case'…?"
"I don't know…I tried to think up some plausible excuse and found nothing."
"So you went with 'McDowe'?"
"Shush. I'm here, aren't I?"
"Hmm…that you are. Get over here."
"Mmmm…"
She gasps. "Hurry up. You said a couple of minutes…"
"Mmm…that I did…I suppose…we could work on breaking a record…"
"Urmm…I like the sound of that…"
A/N: So…how was it? Did the dialogue only work? I cheated twice, but I couldn't find a way around it. Yeah, just so ya'll know I'm a R/Hr shipper – totally – but I'm open to others and have found myself writing my second H/Hr. I've figured out the reason: I feel that R/Hr are so perfect and canon in the books, that they're practically boring to make my own fic about. I adore them, but I can't think of a possible scenario where they still end up together that won't bore everyone. So there it is, for all of you wondering "If you're such an R/Hr shipper, how come you don't write any of those fics?" Please READ AND REVIEW!