Prologue I wrote for a crossover, not sure if I will continue with it but I have random snips that I may post as related one-shots.
She looks up at him as he holds her and she whispers, "I know your name."
He tries not to hear her, wants this to last and he knows if she names him it can only fall apart.
"You have to know it too."
He looks at her, she thinks she sees his heart breaking in his eyes but she has to.
"Your name is-"
"River, please."
His soft whisper stops her and she bites her lip and blinks back the leaks in her eyes.
"No. Don't stop me."
He tightens his hold on her.
She swallows and leans up now, leans over him and meets his eyes as his hand threads in her hair.
"You're not just the Doctor, Doctor. You're..." she catches her sob. She doesn't want this to hurt him any more and her tears always hurt him. She refuses to break both his hearts.
His eyes don't waver from hers because he knows to look away is to let it end sooner than it will.
"Gallifrey."
He stiffens further, muscles aching it seems. "Stop it."
"No. Your name is Gallifrey, you are Gallifrey. Gallifrey holds me in his arms, he is Gallifrey, the Doctor."
The Doctor is shaking his head and yet still his eyes bore into hers and River knows what they've seen and she hopes he'll never see a world boil and burn again but he will, in his nightmares. The nightmares that will come back for them both because she's done what needs to be done and they must pay the price.
"Don't be silly River, just...stop."
"Gallifrey. You are-"
"That's enough."
He's leaning up and now she looks away and whispers, "Can't you see? You are Gallifrey, Gallifrey is you. Long before the fires burned your phoenix soul into the Doctor, you were Gallifrey."
He reaches his hands up, lays his palms to her cheeks, "Please. River, please."
"River Tam. The voice in your head." She swallows tears, lifts a hand to his cheek, "Gallifrey. The Doctor."
He closes his eyes and it's done. It can't be undone. She feels it in her head. He feels it in his. They can't feel it together anymore.
"Let me hold you."
River stifles a sob as she lays down beside him and he fits her perfectly and she knows it's gone even as it's happening.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Me too."
He holds her to him, tries with all his will to keep her there.
The connection they had is gone, but she seems to know what he's doing. For truth, she's begging to hold to him, to be allowed to keep him so he can keep her.
She rolls so she lays face to face with him and he lays his forehead to hers, looks into her eyes. Tears abound and their eyes don't lock right away, tracing each other first and memorizing the features.
"No second chances."
"Right now, I hate knowing the kind of man I am."
"I love knowing the kind of man you are. It gives me hope."
They know, know the hope is worthless.
As their eyes shut they both know what waking will bring-reality. Alone.