"Hey, I love you."
He said it like he couldn't keep it in any longer. But he said it so suddenly that Darcy fumbled the jar of peanut butter in her hands and dropped it on the counter, the lid falling away somewhere on the kitchen floor.
He said it like he was trying to make a point. He said it like he was challenging her, challenging himself. He sounded like he was psyching her out.
"What?"
That was all Darcy could manage to say. She immediately felt like the moment was slightly ruined.
All they did was stare at each other in silence because she didn't know what else to say.
Bucky was leaning against the counter and breathing heavily, the grip of his cybernetic arm threatening to break off a piece of the marble.
"That's all you can say?"
He sounded gruff and annoyed. Darcy knew he quickly went from sad to annoyed, and he always spoke before really thinking.
Darcy let out an uneasy laugh.
They'd kissed a week ago, at Stark's New Year's Eve party. They hadn't even slept together. Darcy had known Bucky for a year but he'd only started emerging from his reclusive state in the fall.
Darcy had been a little tipsy and feeling a little lonely, since everyone at the party was with somebody else.
Except Bucky.
And despite his stand-offish-ness, and despite the fact that they barely spoke to one another before that night, Darcy felt a connection.
So when the countdown begun, they turned to one another and held hands, and when everyone erupted into cheers of "Happy New Year!" at midnight, Darcy reached for Bucky and kissed him.
Darcy was the one who made it more lewd than probably necessary. She was the one who drew her tongue over the seam of Bucky's lips until he opened his mouth for her.
They only made out for a few seconds before Bucky drew away, hands on her shoulders and his eyes wide.
Darcy saw that at the time as his gentle rejection, or at least, a warning for her to slow down.
"Whoa," he murmured, staring at Darcy's lips.
Darcy felt a little dazed and smiled softly. "Yeah, whoa."
He then hastily made his exit, and Darcy had barely spoken to him since. The first week of January had been pretty slow, and as the Avengers' liaison for SHIELD, Darcy saw every team member daily, including Sargent Barnes, but all he ever did was stare at her when he thought she couldn't see him.
He didn't look like he was meaning to ask her out, until now.
"You don't love me," Darcy said, trying not to sound so mean, because she hated the idea of really hurting his feelings.
He seemed like the type to brood alone in his quarters about the littlest of things, let alone being turned down by the girl he said he loved.
"You don't even know me!"
Bucky gave a small nod, not looking too convinced. "Okay."
"You don't just do that. You don't just drop a bomb like that and then not give some kind of explanation. You don't not talk about it."
Bucky gave an amused smirk, finally seeming less annoyed. "Okay."
"So that's all you can say?"
Bucky just shrugged, like he always did with her.
Over the last few months when he decided to finally reintegrate into the world, she did admit to having a crush on him.
First of all, he was gorgeous, and he probably heard that all the time back in the 1940s, but now he didn't take compliments well, or at least didn't hear nice things about himself without arguing.
There was one time Darcy told him he looked like a model, and he scoffed so loudly that Bruce looked up from his scrambled eggs on the other side of the massive common room, his eyebrows high.
Bucky just called her a peach and dropped the conversation for Bruce's sake.
"Well, I thought about it enough," Bucky finally added, shrugging again.
Darcy retrieved the lid from the floor and went back to making her sandwich in silence, shaking her head at him.
A part of her knew that she was arguing for the sake of it. She did consider him a friend and a colleague, but there wasn't anything about her that she thought was particularly striking. Maybe if she argued with him enough, she wouldn't have to be part of these serious, loving conversations so early into a new year.
"Darcy."
She looked up, knowing he'd moved to her side of the counter now, and she paused her spreading.
"I haven't said that to anyone before."
Darcy felt something like a flutter in her stomach, and heat bloomed on her cheeks.
"Oh."
She left her food and turned to him properly, and reached up to stroke his face. She felt the urge to kiss him but instead decided to hold off for as long as possible. She wasn't sure how far he was willing to go.
"You haven't even told Steve you love him?"
Bucky's soft gaze turned into a furrowed brow and a tight line for a mouth.
"He knows," he said stiffly, and Darcy giggled.
She remembered Steve going beet red when she gave him the scarf she knitted him for Christmas.
"I think he'd appreciate it."
"Alright," Bucky conceded, softening again. "Let's not talk about Steve right now."
He leaned down and kissed her, a chaste peck on the lips.
"Okay?"
"Yeah," Darcy nodded vigorously, bringing him down for a deeper kiss, their hands in each other's hair.
This time Darcy opened her mouth to him, and she felt like her skin was burning up from his touch. She didn't realise how starved she was, or how badly she wanted this.
"I do know you, you know," Bucky murmured between kisses, and Darcy gave a little moan when he moved to kiss her neck, pressing her against the counter.
Darcy knew that. She also knew Bucky wasn't the only one who was guarded. She was the one who turned down guys who hit on her in bars because she was secretly waiting for a moment like this to happen between her and Bucky.
She'd thought she'd been stupid waiting so long. She probably should have spoken up sooner, but it was almost a sure thing Bucky would keep anyone at arm's length.
At least, she thought it was a sure thing.
"I had to say something. I felt like I could be running out of time."
Darcy embraced him, her arms wrapped around his waist.
"Oh, Bucky."
They went back to kissing, but it wasn't enough for Darcy. She wasn't about to shove her hand in his pants, but she wanted him just the same. Kissing was nice, but something more would be better.
"Let's go to my room."
Bucky pulled away. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," she purred.
Now as she kissed him, she was all demanding and wet and Bucky groaned against her mouth, giving back all that he got from her, growing breathless.
They broke apart only so they could stalk off together to the elevator, Darcy leading the way.
On the ride up, Darcy felt her heart starting to hammer as reality was setting in. This was really happening. She hoped she'd be good.
Bucky seemed to be thinking along the same lines as Darcy let them into her apartment, throwing her keys aside as the door shut behind them. He kept running a hand through his hair and glancing over at her.
"We don't have to go all the way," Darcy said suddenly, and Bucky stared back at her, blinking.
"I'm not sure if I can."
He looked momentarily dejected, but Darcy shook her head.
"Then we don't have to do anything."
"I want to," Bucky said with emphasis, as Darcy took his hand and pulled him closer to her once more. "I want you."
"I want you, too, Bucky. I want to make you feel good."
She leaned up, kissing the corner of his mouth, moving to his throat where his stubble scratched at her in a comforting way; this felt real. She could do this.
His hands were on the waist, one slowly creeping up her back under her shirt as Darcy kept kissing his neck on her tip-toes. Her hand slipped between them, and feeling bold, Darcy touched Bucky to see how real he was, too.
"Oh, my God! You're so hard!"
Bucky seemed too nervous to chuckle, and kissed her hard on the mouth, walking them towards her bedroom the short distance from the hallway.
They landed on her mattress with Bucky on top of her, their breath hot and heavy on each other's skin, and Darcy pulled at Bucky's shirt long enough for him to get the picture.
He wore a lot of long sleeved shirts under his t-shirts most days, and peeled it off. Darcy saw a kind of self-conscious look on his face as his top half was suddenly bare to her.
Darcy felt her mouth go dry. He had the chiselled abs and broad shoulders she imagined, but seeing them in real life with the heat radiating off him so close to her was enough to render her speechless.
She realised he was probably ashamed of the scar tissue around his metal arm, but it wasn't something Darcy really cared about. It was there, and it looked angry and painful, but they were scars and they were part of him. It wasn't as if she thought it made him ugly.
"What, nothin'?"
"I'm just admiring," Darcy replied, and Bucky let out a surprised bark of a laugh.
"You're really somethin', sweetheart."
"Ohh, I like that," Darcy purred, drawing him into her again, stroking the skin of his arms and shoulders. "I love when you call me pet names."
"Okay, baby," Bucky said, blushing a little.
They made out a while like that, Darcy's arms roaming his chest and back, trying to memorise the feeling of his skin. His erection pressing into her thigh was distracting, though.
"Let's lose the pants, okay?"
However heavy-lidded and aroused Bucky seemed, he still hesitated slightly at Darcy's suggestion.
"You sure?"
"Yes. Please."
Bucky leaned back on his knees, undoing his fly.
Darcy watched with her knees apart, her ankles resting on the back of his jean clad thighs before he rid himself of them, with just a pair of white briefs hiding himself from her.
"Your turn," he managed to say, his skin hand visibly shaking as he sat back.
Darcy obliged as fast as possible. She wore layers that day – a cardigan, a long shirt, a scarf, thick socks and her black leggings she was sure were going to get a hole around the knee.
She took it all off until she was just in her bra and underwear, and dared to look up at Bucky, who stared back at her, his jaw ticking.
Darcy lay back down, reaching for Bucky but he held back.
"I don't wanna be a letdown."
"You won't be."
"How can you be so sure?" Bucky looked her over and sighed. "I'm gonna last like, two seconds. If we even get to that point."
"Doesn't hurt to try, Bucky," she replied.
"I guess not," he said, and moved a little closer, kissing her again but this time with a gentleness Darcy thought might make her cry.
She reached between them and rubbed her hand along the length of him, and he shuddered.
"Jesus. Fuck."
She couldn't help the smile spreading across her face. Her hand was past under his waistband in seconds and she felt her skin on his, and the smell of him in the air.
She stroked up and down slowly, looking for any sign that he wanted her to stop. Bucky kept his eyes closed, leaning back and gasping.
Darcy stopped anyway, retrieving her hand from inside his underwear and instead snapping the waistband against him teasingly.
"Take these off."
Without a word, Bucky did as he was told and pulled down his briefs and kicked them away. Darcy's eyes travelled to his sharp hips to the thatch of hair beneath his navel to his uncut cock that curved just so. It was flushed and thick, long and leaking.
Darcy whole face lit up but Bucky looked still a bit bashful.
"It's been a while," he admitted, hand in his hair again.
He looked her over now, as Darcy was still staring at his dick.
"Darcy."
"Okay, I'll stop," Darcy said, reaching behind her back to unhook her bra.
She threw it aside, her tits free. She convinced herself her nipples were hard because of the cool air, and not because Bucky was staring right at her naked chest.
He was on top of her again in a second, pressing her into the mattress and slanting his mouth against hers and breathing deeply.
His hands were cupping her tits, rolling the nipples and Darcy moaned, hips rolling instinctively.
She realised he'd managed to get his cock rubbing up against the front of her panties, just over the outline of her pussy lips and she moaned louder, whimpering a little as he rubbed harder there.
"You're the most beautiful girl –"
Bucky kissed her neck, beginning his descent to where Darcy craved him most. He kissed her soft stomach, absently throwing a leg over his shoulder, and Darcy thought she might die, knowing what his mouth would feel like on her sex.
"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."
"Shut up," she hissed, her chest heaving, feeling like it might break open. He was so earnest.
"No, I mean it!"
He kissed her thighs, hands still squeezing her tits, and he rubbed his nose on her clothed mound hesitantly.
"Can I kiss you here?"
Darcy couldn't help it; she whimpered again and nodded frantically.
Bucky pulled off her underwear and kissed each lip, slowly and softly. His hands were parting her lips and he leaned forward and kissed her right there – and Darcy felt a throb all the way to her core and her legs began to shake.
He drew her closer to him, his arm securing her while he continued to kiss her, his eyes blown and staring up at her.
If she was wet before, she was soaking now. Her legs wouldn't stop shaking with every stroke of his tongue deep inside her, but the bud of her clit stayed neglected and there was only so much she could take.
"Bucky," she breathed, and he got the message.
The second he sucked her clit into his mouth, Darcy gave a whine and gasped. With her chest heaving and his tongue licking and sucking mouth, it didn't take long for her skip over the edge.
"I'm gonna come," she whined, and clenched up, her legs like a vice with Bucky still between them. Her hand had gone to his hair, pushing him against her as she came hard.
Once Bucky re-emerged, wiping his mouth and chin with the back of his skin hand, Darcy gave a shaky laugh.
"I thought you said it had been a while."
"It has."
"You're too good at that."
Bucky gave a short laugh, looking up at her.
Darcy beckoned him closer to her, and he was on top of her once more, warm and hard. As she kissed him, she tasted herself on his mouth and tongue.
"Can I return the favour?"
Bucky laughed at that. "I dunno."
"Oh?"
"I think it'll, uh," he looked embarrassed. "It'll all be over if you do that."
Darcy burst out laughing and Bucky just held her against him, smiling back at her.
They lapsed into silence and Darcy just stroked his face, and he closed his eyes at her touch, breathing deeply.
Without warning, Darcy pushed off him, turning them over so she was on top, straddling his thighs and kissing him hard.
Bucky drew back. "What about, uh-"
He looked frustrated by his loss of words. "Condom?"
"I'm on the pill," Darcy said, kissing him again. "Is this okay? Do you want me to stop?"
Bucky aimed his cock upwards, shaking his head. "Don't stop."
Darcy watched as Bucky bit off a whimper as she sank down on him. She didn't move for some time, just letting herself get used to him inside her.
When she rolled her hips, Bucky wrapped his arms around her waist and moaned loudly, his eyes flashing. She let up and then slammed down onto him, eliciting her own moan.
"You feel…"
"You do, too," Darcy breathed, and Bucky leaned forward to put his mouth on her nipple, wrapping his lips around it and sucking.
"Bucky."
She began to speed up, and felt the sting of his bite against her skin. She couldn't get over the look on his face; he was so full of desire and focus she could barely handle it.
She had to say something.
"Hey, I love you, too."
Because she did. She knew she had for a while. That's really why she'd been so lonely on New Year's. That's why she said "wow" when they kissed.
Bucky detached from her. "Are you okay?"
Darcy didn't realise she was so close to tears. She blamed the intimacy of all this. She blamed herself for being too emotional.
"Yeah. Please, Bucky, I need –"
Bucky reached for her clit and pressed his thumb on it, rubbing.
"It's okay, baby."
Darcy fell apart at that. She came on a sob, rocking against his hand between them and clutching at him.
It wasn't long until Bucky chased his own orgasm, pushing up and into her, biting back a growl.
After they cleaned up, they were tangled again in the sheets, Bucky spooning her and kissing her shoulders.
"It's been a while," Darcy muttered to herself, rolling her eyes. "Puh-lease."
Bucky could only laugh softly at that, and Darcy thought it was the best sound in the world.