Jeff Winger scrolled through the messages on his phone as he waited in line to submit a form that had no discernible purpose. Britta, who was standing behind him, gave a frustrated moan.
"How long does it take to drop off a stupid form?"
"Depends on whether or not you have hands. There was a goat in front of me last time, and he dropped his papers twice. I think he eventually gave up and ate them."
"Sentient goats, huh?" Britta marveled, "Things got weird real fast."
"Yeah, I don't know what's worse: the fact that this doesn't surprise me anymore or that Abed was right all along."
"He turned out to be the sanest person among us."
"I wouldn't go that far. He just got lucky."
Right on cue, Abed popped up behind them.
"Actually, I never really thought we were on a TV show, but while it came as a surprise that a world of fictional universes existed outside of our franchise, I can't say that it was an unpleasant discovery."
Britta rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, maybe not for you. The rest of us are stuck in crazytown where talking animals and superheroes roam free. Does this place even have laws?"
"Yes, but they keep changing," Abed stated monotonously, "It's mostly due to the emotional instability of our dragon overlord who's been having adventures that affect our existence in the homeworld of Fiction. Ever since her granddaughter was turned to stone by the current Queen of the Universe, she's been less sympathetic than usual."
Jeff frowned.
"Wow, Abed, that was very expository, but I don't think I can trust the continuity of your statement, since Pierce seems to be alive and we just finished talking about a sentient goat."
Abed cocked his head.
"Our franchise is in limbo, so we have no continuity to maintain. Not that that matters, since the rules are always changing. I remember when we first got here. Things were simple. I helped the Phantom of the Opera play paintball. He's the grandson of the dragon."
Jeff hummed.
"That's very interesting," he said flatly, "Maybe you should tell Annie what happened."
"No point. It's already written down."
Abed held up a fancy book with gilded pages.
"The Silliest Phantom Of The Opera FanFiction Ever Written. The dragon capitalizes every word in her titles. I think she's special too."
Jeff sighed.
"Well, Abed, I'm glad you're having fun with this insanity, but some of us would rather lead a normal life."
"Normal is a relative term. Obviously you don't remember the Gas Leak Year."
Britta put her hand on his shoulder.
"Abed, it's nice that you're learning to adapt to this intense shift in the universe, but don't you think you should focus on more concrete ideas?"
"Not really," he said, tilting his head to the side, "I find the books fascinating. They aren't that well-written, but the story makes up for it. Most of the time. It can be really creative, but a lot of it is just ripping off other franchises. Ours gets plagiarized a lot."
Jeff was on his phone again.
"Hm, well, maybe you should do something about that."
"I've been thinking about it, and our show could benefit from a crossover. I'll see what I can do."
He marched away briskly. Britta craned her neck to see where he was going.
"Uh, Jeff, are you sure that was a good idea?"
"What was a good idea?"
"You told Abed to do something about it."
"About what?"
Britta smacked his arm.
"Jeff, this could be serious. Just because we're in a crazy world, it doesn't mean Abed is any less sensitive. What if he gets into trouble?"
Jeff lowered his phone with a frustrated expression.
"Britta, think about it. Now that we essentially can't die, what is the worst that could happen?"
She looked out at the crowd of fictional characters.
"I don't know, but I get the feeling we're about to find out."