Disclaimer: I do not own Vocaloid.
There was lived a very sexy young boy.
Seventeen years of age.
Girls seemed to swarm around him like... like... iron fillings towards a magnet.
Glorious teal hair- yes, natural teal hair (insert amazed gasp here)- and magnificent teal eyes to match his hair.
He wasn't considerably rich, or poor, wasn't the most popular guy in school, or wasn't the brightest kid in his class.
All that matters is that is that he is drop-dead gorgeous.
Seriously, like, he should be paid for being handsomely beautifully sexy.
Tragedy ahead, grab a pack of tissues. Now.
He isn't paid for being handsome.
Sad, isn't it?
That's my life.
"Mikuo! Get up and tell me the answer!" Kiyoteru-sensei, our History and Maths teacher, yelled.
Oh yeah, I'm Mikuo Hatsune aka the person who should be paid for his looks but isn't.
I sighed. History isn't really my strong point.
"The answer is Tokugawa Ieyasu." This has to be it, we reading this part in the textbook yesterday. I mean, yeah, I was spacing out the whole time but the second I came back from la-la land, this dude was mentioned.
Kiyoteru-sensei seemed pretty shocked. Ha, probably because, I, Mikuo Hatsune, got the answer right for the first time ever, since I entered high school.
My friend, Kaito, leaned closer. He was sitting but I heard what he said.
"Dude, this is the maths period."
Oh fuck.
"And then, and then," Kaito said between snorts, "this looser got punished with five pages of homework!"
"Ha, and you call me a failure," Rin, another friend of mine, mumbled while balancing a chocolate bar on her nose.
"You are one," Len rolled his eyes. "And give that back to me! You're probably getting your sister germs all over my chocolate!"
Rin snatched the bar off her nose. "Heh, finders keepers, loosers weepers."
"Prepare to weep then damn it!" yelled Len, one hand reaching for the chocolate, other smashing Rin's face.
"You think you can get pass my defenses that easily!? Hah! Noob!" Rin responded back with a forceful tug on his shirt.
...wait.
Why am I narrating this.
Damn it.
Anyways, those two dorks above are twins, my sister's classmates. The Kagamine Twins, usually the trouble makers of the group.
...but I guess you could say Rin is a treble maker.
Because, haha, she's... you know... treble... okay, sorry.
Oh yeah, speaking of siblings, loosers and bad puns, my sister, an year younger than me. Miku Hatsune.
Yeah.
Because my parents aren't creative enough to come up with better names.
"Mikuo, Mikuo, I have a favor~" squealed Miku, closely rubbing to Kaito.
Ah yeah, my sister's going out with my best friend. Because they both like different shades of blue.
I... don't ask.
"What."
"Can you do my homework for me~? I have a date with Kaito tonight~" Ugh, listening to this lovesick tone makes me barf.
I MEAN, WHY DOES SHE GET A BOYFRIEND AND I DON'T GET A GIRLFRIEND?
I'M WAAAY BETTER LOOKING THAN THAT TURD.
I'M PROBABLY GONNA LIVE ALONE.
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
I'M JUST-
I'm crying.
It's okay, Mikuo.
Your love is probably waiting for you, somewhere.
THAT SOMEWHERE BEING MY IMAGINATION.
WHY AM I ALONE.
"Don't ignore me damn it!" I could feel an apple slap my face.
"I'm thinking!"
"And your answer?"
"No."
Miku groaned. "I even had to use my cute tone with you! Do the damn homework!"
"No."
"M-" Miku started, but stopped when Luka tugged her sleeve.
"Miku, Gakupo's harassing me." And that would be Luka, a classmate of mine. We've known each other for about... 3 years maybe?
Miku groaned again. "Damn it Gakupo, leave the lady alone!"
"What!" He looked utterly offended at this comment. "What did I do!?"
"...you were sniffing my chopsticks," Luka calmly spoke.
He shrugged. "I was checking for poison." I honestly have no idea how this guy came to our group.
"You sniffed it after I ate my food."
Miku made a face. "Not cool, dude."
"C'mon! It's completely normal!" He cried.
"Dude, you have to sniff it before she eats! Duh," I said before stuffing my face with rice.
"No wonder you're single Mikuo," Miku sighed.
I glared. "Don't go there Miku. Ever."
Miku raised her hands in defeat.
Luka pointed her chopsticks at me. "I predict you will get a slap in this hour."
"Remember the time you predicted I would bump into a big-boobed mature lady?"
"You did," Gakupo exclaimed innocently. Backing her up won't help you get on her good side, you awkward turd.
"That was the fucking cleaning lady! She's married! She has 3 children who have children and some of those children have children!"
"Yeah, and worst part was that she had hanging boobs!" I exclaimed. It was just a 8.4 second touch but, trust me. I know.
Also, Luka thinks she had the power to predict the future.
Once she predicted the pencil on my desk will fall in five minutes and got depressed about it so Gakupo threw it out of the window.
Damn eggplant thing.
"Hey Miku, want one?" Kaito asked, smiling, offering my sister a choice between chocolate and vanilla ice cream.
"Kyaa," she squealed, rubbing against his arm. "I'll take the vanilla because I know you like the chocolate!"
"Oh Miku!"
"Oh Kaito!"
Bleeeeeck.
"Oh Luka!" Gakupo tried to touch Luka.
"Touch me and die."
"Babe, I know you love playing hard-to-get but, tell this to me," Gakupo started. "Look into my eyes and tell me, tell me honestly, that you don't like me."
Luka looked deeply into his eyes. "I don't like you."
"I expected you to hesitate and realize that you don't like me, but you love me, and then we'll have 38 kids. But okay, that works too."
There are so many dreams in that sentence.
"Let go of it damn it!" Rin screamed.
"You let go!" Len yelled, still tugging the chocolate from the edge of the wrapper.
"Why don't you guys just share it?" Kaito asked innocently.
"Kaito, if my hands were free, I will take that scarf of yours and shove it down your throat and-" Rin began.
"And watch you choke to death-"
"And then-"
"We'll cut your arms off-"
"And slap your corpse-"
"And then we'll pull your nails out-"
"And stuff it into your stomach after cutting it."
They're so sweet, the Kagamine twins.
Kaito started to cry.
"Kaito!" Miku cried out before Koala-clinging to his arm and comforting him. "You guys took it too far!"
The twins shot her an evil look.
Miku shriveled.
"You guys should honestly consider therapy," I said, not even hiding my fear.
Maybe it's how sweaty how their hands are.
Or maybe they did it purposely.
The chocolate bar slipped and smacked my face.
"Ah! Mikuo stole our chocolate!" Both Rin and Len let out a battle cry together before tackling me.
"Mikuo!" I could hear Miku and Kaito's concerned screams.
"Dude! You okay?" Gakupo's low voice rang.
"I told you so!" I could barely hear Luka's voice, but the smug tone was a bit obvious.
"Babe, whatever you say is true." Anyone care to guess who said this?
"Don't call me babe."
Yeah, my friends aren't impressive.
They maybe the most violent people in Japan.
They maybe the most dumbass people in this planet.
They make me want to puke to their faces and laugh forever.
But...
...okay, I can't think of a but.
They suck.
Hey guys. So I wrote the first chapter about two years ago. But apparently, I broke one of the rules: no chat format entries. So yeah, here's a rewrite. After two freaking years. The hell was I even doing this whole time, I don't know.
Anyways, this isn't the first chapter. It's more like a prologue, an introduction. The real plot begins in the next chapter.
...well, not really a plot. More like a collection of one-shots.
And! They're led by my baby, Mikuo!