Draco!

What, Granger

Nothing.

Hermione smiled sweetly to herself. This day was going just fine. She'd refused to help Draco with his schoolwork twice, finished reading a book on muggle musicals, and she didn't have to patrol corridors that night.

Draco!

What, Granger?

Are you paying attention to McGonagall?

Of course I'm not paying attention to McGonagall. I'm staring at your arse, you silly mudblood

No need to be rude, Draco.

Says the girl who's been pestering me all day? Not likely.

Draco, that didn't even make sense.

Just shut it, Granger. I'd love to stay and chat, but I doubt you'd help me with my work and there's no other reason that I could think of to talk to you.

Hermione's smile quickly changed to a smirk. The weasel was gonna get his comeuppance soon.

They'd been having telepathic conversations like this all morning, mostly exchanges of snide remarks. It was all down to a mix-up in the potions class a few days ago. Hermione was ready to put her plan into action. She was certain that McGonagall was unaware of the enforced link between the head boy and girl's minds and well, Snape wouldn't have punished Draco anywhere nearly as severely as McGonagall would. No other class would do, the two were only together for potions and transfiguration.

Draco?

Just go away.

But don't you want to know what I really feel about you?

That I'm a sexy hunk of Slytherin

That. But there's more.

Well, out with it. It better be good.

Oh, it is.

Well, are you ready?

Granger, you're wasting my precious time.

Can't you think and stare at the same time?

I can. Just get on with it.

I am the very model of a modern major general. I've information vegetable, animal and mineral. I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical from Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical.

Granger, has anyone told you that you cannot sing?

I'M VERY WELL ACQUAINTED TOO WITH MATTERS MATHEMATICAL. I UNDERSTAND EQUATIONS BOTH THE SIMPLE AND QUADRATIC-

Quiet, Granger!

ABOUT BINOMIAL THEOREM I'M TEEMING WITH A LOT OF NEWS. WITH MANY CHEERFUL FACTS ABOUT THE SQUARE OF THE HYPOTENUSE.

Granger, this isn't funny.

I'm finding this very funny. How about if I speed it up a bit? There are a few verses still to go, and after that we can do Poor Wandering One and With Cat Like Tread. Unless of course, you'd prefer that I repeat this one for the rest of the lesson?

I'd prefer it if you never thought, spoke or sang again.

I can hum?

No.

Fine. I'm very good at integral and differential calculus. I know the scientific names of beings animalculousIn short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineralI am the very model of a modern Major-GeneralI know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc'sI answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradoxI quote in elegiacs all the crimes of HeliogabalusIn conics I can floor peculiarities parabolousI can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and ZoffaniesI know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of AristophanesThen I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore and whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore

"Granger, shut up!"

"Mr. Malfoy, Ms. Granger is on the other side of the room from you and I'm sure that no one else heard her say a word. Perhaps you should concentrate on your work, rather than your Granger-central fantasies. 20 points from Slytherin and if I hear another peep from you I'll put you on detention peeling vegetables in the kitchens."

Granger, you'll pay.

Darling, there are still four verses where that came from.