A Little More Time

Their lips met in a daze, both with their eyes closed as they each savored the sweetness of the moment. His lips were gentle but demanding; hers timid and pliant. She whimpered softly when he deepened the kiss and bit her lower lip as he crushed her body to his. Though surprised by the sudden change of pace, she recovered quickly and wrapped her arms around his neck. Neither was willing to end what both thought to be a fantasy.

He knew he was reaching the point of no return, but he fell deeper and deeper under her spell until he thought he would no longer be able to pick himself up again. He refused to let logic get in the way of his worldly desires this time. She tasted too damn good, felt too damn nice for him to let go. She smelled like morning dew and honeysuckle. Like her namesake, in fact. Like, he struggled for words even in thought, a promise of a beautiful tomorrow.

Like happily ever after.

Like forever.

His tongue sought entrance to her mouth, the action immediately followed by regret when he felt her stiffen. He watched her gradually come down from her euphoria high, smirking inwardly when he saw how affected she was by their momentary lost of control. At least I'm not the only one, he thought. He would have liked to make the moment last longer, but he knew it was impossible. She had escaped the magical world they entered at that precise moment when his lips touched hers.

With that thought, guilt suddenly filled him. She trusted him, yet all he did was take advantage of her. It was too soon for this to happen. I should've waited a little while longer, he chided himself and forced his face to become the impassive mask it usually was.

When at last her mind was out of the hazy clouds, Botan realized what they had been doing and stifled a gasp.

What had she done?

Looking up in trepidation, she found deep green eyes peering at her. Their owner was wearing his trademark poker face again, and she just knew he would push her away. She wanted to smack herself hard on the head with her own oar. That would've hurt her less than the rejection that was sure to come next.

She pulled away reluctantly from her companion's strong arms with her head bowed low, refusing to look into his eyes again. She was scared to find out that this had merely been a game, and she was just an unknowing – but willing – participant. She started slightly when she heard his voice break the awkward silence.

"Botan," he said softly. "Botan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean...I was just---" Kurama's schooled features cracked, and he frowned deeply as he realized he's at a loss on what to say. He gestured helplessly with his arms. Why did words decide to fail him at a time when he needed them most?

Botan hid her eyes from him. So, the truth came out, finally. He was just caught in the heat of the moment and didn't mean to kiss her. Of course, she already knew that. But it didn't make hearing it from him any easier.

She tried hard to compose herself, and then looked at him with eyes devoid of their usual happy sparkle, replaced instead by a confused hurt that twisted the man's gut. She tried to bury the pain deep inside her heart and mind. This was no time for trivial matters. She had to get away from him quickly before she made an even bigger fool of herself.

"It's okay, Kurama. No need to apologize. I understand perfectly," she said as she willed herself to smile, which came out more as a grimace. A long moment passed, and when Kurama didn't speak, she laughed nervously. "Anyway, I have to get back to Reikai soon; Lord Koenma will throw a fit if I'm not at his beck and call. You know, him and his royal tantrums! Heh, he he...."

Kurama moved closer to Botan to take her hand but stopped when he saw that she stepped back, almost involuntarily. His features darkened. He didn't want to make things more complicated than they were. He mentally berated himself again for giving in to his weakness.

Today was supposed to be a fairly friendly-slash-slightly romantic day with the girl he'd been pinning for for months. He had planned on making her more comfortable being around him, intent on making her see him in a different, more romantic light.

She used to be just one of the girls. She had never piqued his interest beyond the normal sense of curiosity foxes were known for, even if he did find her charming and attractive in a lot of ways. He found it remarkable how much compassion she had for humans and demons alike, given that her primary job was closely related to death. In fact, she was often considered as death itself, but that didn't stop her from being the cheerful being she was. The Spirit World guide was emotionally unstable, yet she would never fail to give anyone an encouraging smile or word. She could be cowardly one moment, and the bravest being the next.

Before long, Kurama found himself closely watching her on the sidelines, noticing even the smallest details about and around her. How her face would light up whenever he greeted her, how the light pink dress she had on brought out the brightness of her eyes, how the cool breeze played with small tendrils of her silky hair, how red she turned in anger whenever Yuusuke did something stupid...He became more aware of her small gestures of affection and frustration, and amused himself with her constant mood swings.

Each moment that he watched, he felt himself liking her all the more. Her scent intoxicated him, her voice haunted him, and her presence surrounded him. It took a lot out of him to admit to himself that he liked the ferry woman. Very much.

So he asked her out.

They had been going out for a few weeks. And he was taking it slow. Botan always seemed nervous around him, emitting waves of tension especially when they were alone. At first he found it amusing, but soon grew exasperated when on their third date, she was even more high-strung than usual. She could be so dense most of the time that he wanted to just grab her and kiss her until she realized his not-so-innocent intentions. But he told himself to bid his time, to patiently let Botan get used to the idea of them together. He was rewarded on their fifth date, when she started participating more on their conversations, and he noted that she looked more relaxed.

That was, until the kiss just moments ago. Their eighth date.

He never should have looked into the innocent gaze of the death deity. He felt himself drowning into the purple pools of her eyes, and before he knew it, he was kissing her. The need to devour her lips was inescapable, and when the bluenette made no move to break the kiss off, he continued tasting her sweetness. It felt like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. He didn't mean to kiss her, but he sure as hell didn't regret that he did.

He wanted her. But he wasn't sure if he loved her. And most importantly, he had no idea what she felt for him in return. He knew the ferry girl found him attractive just as much as he did her, but beyond that….

And, after what had just happened, he didn't know where things stood between them.
He muttered a curse under his breath for his foolishness. He wanted to give it time. He wanted Botan to be more comfortable and open with him. To make her see that he was just an ordinary young man, despite the fact that he had a soul of a demon fox. To make her realize that he, too, was not immune to human emotions. Kurama felt that she was, little by little, seeing him as more than just a comrade.

However, he had to make sure this attraction he felt for the deity wasn't just that: an attraction. He was certain it ran deeper than that, but he had to know what exactly his feelings for Botan were before making any hasty move. He didn't want to do anything that would just hurt her – no, them – in the long run.

"Botan, please...I want to explain---" he started.

"There's no need for explanations, Kurama. What happened was something we both wanted," Botan interrupted, turning red as she realized the implication of what she said. "I mean, we're both consenting adults. Besides, it was just a kiss. Yeah, just a friendly kiss. That's right! Only a friendly kiss." She absently muttered to herself to convince her stubborn heart that it was, indeed, only a friendly kiss.

"Botan---"

"I really have to go. We'll talk again next time, okay?"

Kurama heaved a sigh. Clearly, Botan wasn't ready to listen to him as of yet.

But he needed her to know.

"Alright," he conceded. "But please just hear me out for a few seconds."

Botan materialized her oar and hopped on it, shooting Kurama a furtive look. "I'm listening," she told him crisply, her eyes guarded, looking as if she was ready to bolt as soon as the kitsune was done with his speech.

Kurama was silent for a moment, thinking how to best put into words what he had in mind. He then looked at her, his eyes pleading for her to understand what he was about to say, even if it wasn't outright. "Give me time," he said simply, calmly, even though his insides were churning badly. He waited with bated breath for her answer.

The bluenette stared quietly at the handsome man before her, slowly grasping just what he meant by that. Give him time. She looked at his eyes and saw the sincerity in them. I understand, Kurama. She nodded hesitantly, gave him a small wave, and then flew away.
Kurama watched Botan as she disappeared from the sky and became nothing more than a lingering memory. Of wooden oar and pink kimono. Of blue hair and periwinkle eyes. Of bubble-headedness and innocence. And of lips touching lips.

Give me time, Botan. Give me a little more time to sort out my feelings for you. Maybe then, by the time we meet again, I'll know for sure.

Soon, my deity. Soon.

Author's Note: Made the story longer and more intimate than the original. I think it's better. :) - 17th August 2009