She was exhausted. Who said attending surgeons worked shorter hours?
It had been 24 hours since she had been home and she had only grabbed 4 catnaps during that time. They had been a surgeon down for the past week and everybody was having to do their bit. She had just done a double shift, a night shift and a day shift back to back. Thankfully, the night shift had been quiet enough but the afternoon had been hectic. All she wanted now was a neck massage, a warm bath, some decent food and a good night's sleep.
The only one of those that might prove difficult was the neck massage. She had bumped into Ray once today and he had been in foul humor. She hated his moods. They were something new. Well, she had only become aware of them since his accident, since she moved to Baton Rouge. Whatever triggered them, she knew to leave him alone until he had worked his way through them. He usually talked to her after and explained in detail what had triggered his funk. She knew it was a sense of failure or inadequacy, some new patient who was not responding or someone who's circumstances reminded him of his own. Thankfully, he had the strength to work his way through and snap out of it. She really hoped he had snapped out of this particular funk by the time she got home. If not it would be a take-out night. She sighed. What the heck, she'd have a bath while she was waiting for the food to arrive and give him his space.
The apartment was in darkness when she opened the door and her heart sank. She was too tired to navigate muddy waters this evening. Should she go look for him or not? She called out to announce she was home. He responded.
"I'm out here."
She felt the relief flow over her.
He was on the balcony lying on one of the loungers nursing a long-neck.
"I'm exhausted, I'll call for take-out." she said as she looked through the door.
"Yeah. Sorry. It's been one of those days."
She smiled sympathetically and nodded her head. Nonetheless, she could not help but feel a little indignant after all she had just worked a double shift. He had only done his usual 8 to 4.30pm. But she knew that was being petty so she simply said,
"We'll talk later, I'm just going for a soak. Chinese ok?"
"Yeah," he replied despondently.
It had turned chilly now that the sun had gone down but he seemed oblivious.
"I'll order the usual."
He simply nodded.
She grabbed a blanket from the bedroom and brought it to him.
"Here, you'll freeze."
He nodded again but said nothing.
Wow, he really was morose tonight. What was up?
She shrugged and went to run her bath. Then she called in the take-out order. They told her it would probably be an hour. Not to worry, that meant she could have an extra-long soak.
When she emerged from the bathroom, all the knots had been worked out. She would sleep well tonight. Right now, however, she was starving. She padded across the living room in her bare feet. She shivered as she walked onto the balcony and wrapped her bathrobe tightly round her.
"God Ray, its freezing out here, come inside. The food will be here shortly. I'm just going to put some clothes on."
With that he looked up at her. His eyes were two black pools of pain.
"Neela, I've got to go, I can't stay here any longer."
It was as if he had just kicked her in the stomach. What was he saying? She could feel the ground opening up before her. He was leaving her. He couldn't stay here any longer. "Wh…?" But this was his apartment.
This was his world. She would have to leave.
How could he do this to her after she had moved to be with him?
And why now, after all this time?
Had she done something wrong?
She thought things had been going well. She had not seen this coming.
No, no, she shook her head and the tears started to flow. She felt her knees buckle, she was going to be sick. She put her hand to her mouth and fled to the bathroom.