author note: Ok people, this is my first fanfic on fanfiction so please comment and critique me! On with Voldemorts diary entry:
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Dear Pinkie,
I've seen the light today. It was Avada Kedavra greenish, but I've deflected it with ease. The caster wasn't so lucky though.
I killed him with the ticklingcharm, now nobody can say I'm cruel! Death by tickling is better than by cruciatus right?
Right. On my left, that's my better side when being photographed ('cause my right nostril is half an inch wider due lack of nose, so left ís better), sits Lucius. He and all my other dolls (the word deatheater is só past decennia) are trying to solve a puzzle.
You see, I've taken on another road. A few days ago there was a dark ebonyhaired lightskinned boy here. He looked like my youngest doll, Draco I believe his name was?, aside from the darkhair, green eyes and those hideous sunglasses. I asked him if they were related to eachother but seeing his reaction, a sneer, which really doesn't do his face any good, I guess not.
I don't know why he wore the sunglasses though but he was saying that he didn't like redeyed snakefaced monsters. I ordered my inner circle to dance like a starry figure and go on an expedition in my castle to find the beast, but no-where in the castle could they find said monster.
The boy just looked at me like a fish, mumbling.
Anyway. He was a very confused young man, so I dosed him with a few cheering charms and offered him a pink chocolate and a portkey to his home. Even then he was still muttering about unfair business and that we should duel. I agreed, on the only term that he should guess my real name in three times.
If he didn't guess my name in three times he could come back in another year. What he didn't know was that I changed my name. It was after I had dozed of in the Forbidden Forest and was awoken by a few my little ponies. They converted me to the faith of the rainbow and the color pink. And then I changed my name and we catched a dwarf at the end of the rainbow and robbed him of a few thousand galleons. What a day.
Oh well, confused but certain he said my name was "Tom Marvolo Riddle."
Wrong.
Then he said: "Lort Voldemort." I mean, really, does that sound any good?
At last he shouted; "Rumpelstiltskin." Well, of course not, I can't even pronounce that name myself.
So that were his final three guesses, and I asked him to leave and come back in a years time and make an appointment with my secretary Bellatrix. He stormed out of my Great Hall of Fire, and I don't think I've ever heard Snape giggle so mad like that all of my life.
Anyway. Since then, all my dolls were ordered to wear pink frilly dresses (and some look really good in them, especially Ginny) and they could challenge me to a duel, if they could have guessed my name.
But
Merlin this guessing game they'll never win,
Cause my name's not Voldemort
and so on and on I'll nonverbally sing
I'm the Immortal Dove Lord.
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Read and Review please??