A Bleached White Christmas

Disclaimer:
Mia: -sings- Kubo Tite is my hubby! And his real name is... -readers anticipate- Randy because he's always horny! -Kubo walks in-

Kubo: See Mia I knew you were gonna tell them! I 'm divorcing you!

Mia:Yeah but don't I get at least half owner ship of Bleach!? - wink wink -

Kubo:No, but you get the beach house In Miami.

Well I was going to say I own bleach so go suck it... but I got divorced and love my readers! Hehehe....So MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

It was Christmas Eve and Ichigo was not enjoying himself. He looked around the room and saw the reason of his possible suicide attempt. Matsumoto, it only being 5pm was clearly already drunk. She was trying to make anyone, and I mean anyone get under the mistletoe with her.

"Hey Ichigo! Get over here you know you want some!" She yelled from across the room. He turned his back to her and walked away acting as thought he didn't hear or see her.

Toshiro, Byakuya, Renji, and Tatsuki were arm wrestling on the coffee table. The new coffee table might I add. Tatsuki and Byakuya broke the old one that morning.

Someone tapped Ichigo's shoulder. He groaned.

"What?!" He sighed.

"Ichigo! I found it!" She said. Her answer to his what made him groan even more.

"I'm not wearing it Rukia. I refuse." He turned to look down at her. Damn she was short.

"Aww come on Ichigo your dad said no too! But then he said that you would love to do it! Pretty please?" Ichigo hated when she begged. It made him actually think about doing what she was begging for.

" I said no dammit." He grumbled out. She pouted. God he hated when she did that.

"Please! I'll give you a cookie!" Ichigo looked back down at her and and saw her face completely serious. He had to chuckle.

"No Rukia..." Then Ichigo thought up an idea.

"I'll only wear it if you'll be Santa's little helper." He said in a baby voice. Pinching her cheeks.

Her eyes bulged from her head. She shook her head rapidly.

"No no no! Shiro-kun is going to be Santa's helper!"

"So your just forcing everyone to join in on this 'holiday cheer' ?" He put quotations around holiday cheer.

She nodded her head. A goofy and mischievous grin played on her face.

"Well what are you gonna be miss queen of Karakura town!?" Ichigo asked with a little it more hostility then he had planned.

" I'm," Rukia did a little twirl. She stopped facing Ichigo." I'm Mrs. Claus!"

His jaw hit the floor. His Christmas was just getting worse and worse. Why wouldn't everyone just go home?

Rukia turned to the group friends. "Shiro-kun! Karin! Hurry it's time for us all to change!" Karin and Toshiro slowly walked towards the happy raven- haired girl. Ichigo looked down at his sister and comrade. He looked a bit closer and noticed he's shorter then Rukia if you didn't count his hair.

" I refuse to be an elf. " He stated very flatly. Ichigo rolled his eyes and stomped his way up the stairs with Rukia skipping along happily behind him. Then Toshiro still a little steamed, Grumbled up the stairs and into the bathroom.

-xx-

X

Rukia skipped out of Karin and Yuzu's room. She wore a velvet red dress that's sleeves stopped at her wrists and the hem stopping at her mid thigh.

Poofy white fluff, ended the sleeves and the hem. Also around the the neck. A dash of soft red lipstick stained her lips. The pink blush stood out on her pale skin. Black knee high boots and a red hat finished the whole thing.

Soon after her came Karin. Artificial skin and make up made her ears pointed. Cheeks with bright circles of pink. Lips glossy with no color. She stepped out with bells on her toes. Literally. Her green pointy shoes were topped of with small golden bells. Karin's green velvet dress stopped at her upper thigh. Opaque white and red stockings covered her pale legs. She smiled lightly and waved to Rukia.

"Good Evening Mrs. Claus." She said. Rukia was only an inch shorter then the 12 year old. But it was a very noticeable inch. Even with the boots on.

"Rukia patted her head. " hello young elf. I wonder where Santa could be.." she asked. Rukia wandered over to Ichigo's bed room door and knocked lightly.

"Oh honey."

In Ichigo's Room

Did she just call him honey? This was getting a little out of hand. He walked to his mirror and saw a skinny yet muscular young man, in an over sized red suit.

" I look dumb."

"Ichigo hurry up and come out! I wanna see!"

" Yeah Ichi-nee!" Karin shouted after her. Ichigo looked at the door, disbelieving what he had heard. Karin hardly ever called him that anymore. She never usually sounded that happy either. It reminded him of their childhood days when she would cry but when mom came around she would make everything better.

Ichigo growled. This was honestly not how he wanted to spend his Christmas eve. He turned at the creak of the door opening.

"Ichigo would you like some help?" She asked in her sickeningly sweet voice. Ichigo loved it and hated it at the same time. He couldn't put his finger on why, but at the right time it could sound so heavenly to his ears.

He turned his back to her. Even though he showed his disapproval of her being in his room, she waltzed right in.

"Oh Ichigo your all wrong! Where's your pillow? " Rukia walked over to his bed and he turned to turned and gave her a quizzical look. She threw off his comforter and laid it on the floor. Grabbing his pillow she walked back over to him.

" Whoa, whoa, Whoa, who told you to throw all of my crap on the floor!?" He yelled at her. Rukia looked up at him, and cocked her head to the side in a 'I-have-no-idea-what your-talking-about-because-I'm-playing-dumb-' look. He glared and pointed at the blankets on the floor in disarray.

" Pick it up now dammit!" He said threw gritted teeth.

She smiled and picked the blankets up and tossed them on the bed. He glared harder at her. If that's even possible.

Rukia shrugged her shoulders and smiled. " You said pick them up. You never said anything about makin' up your bed too." Ichigo rolled his eyes and his attention went back to the mirror. Rukia came behind him and stuffed the pillow up his jacket.

" What the hell Rukia! Could you at least warn me when your going to stuff shit in my clothes!" Ichigo turned at yell at her. Of course, not like he was expecting anything else, she was smiling brightly.

She pulled a story book from behind her back. Was she actually going to reference to a Christmas book?Rukia put on her imaginary glasses on.

" The book says and I quote... Santa is a fat judgmental bastard." she said snapping the book shut Ichigo looked at her skeptically.

" What kind of book would insult Santa?" he asked her curiously

" It doesn't matter." she said with a wave of her hand dismissing the question as she walked out of his room.

" Your already a judgemental bastard.. all you need to do is get the fat part down and we're good to go." She said as she popped her head back threw the door.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. After she left he stuffed pillows and blankets in his shirt and pants. He looked back in the mirror and seemed more believable as a Santa. He turned to his bed and looked at the beard of white fluff and hat of red velvet.

" I really can't beileve I'm doing this."

Meanwhile In the hallway

"Okay guys we're mainly doing this for Yuzu and Yachiru. So be happy and believable! Karin, I want you to link arms with Shiro-kun,"

" Could you please stop calling me that!" Toshiro interrupted. Rukia continued like she didn't even notice the small one speak.

" Then you'll both skip down the stairs. Then I will slowly follow after, and play off the fact that Ichigo taking," She yelled towards his bedroom door. ", FOREVER!" Karin was laughing on the inside and indifferent on the out. Toshiro held out his arm for her and she gladly excepted. The two sighed and walked towards the top of the stair case.

Toshiro whispered in his companion's ear. " When this is over we erase everyone's memory?" Karin nodded in approval. They put on very fake happy faces and skipped down the stairs. Rukia smiled at the fact they were actually playing along. She knocked on Ichigo's door.

" Hurry up! Or I'm coming in." Ichigo beat her to the punch. He stepped out of his room looking nothing like himself. Ole Saint Nick in the flesh. Rukia gawked at the tall boy- I mean the old chubby man, and poked his stomach. Ichigo forced a smile.

" Hello my lovely wife!" He grabbed her in a " loving " head lock and patted her head kindly. Ichigo let out a deep laugh, truely taking on the role of Santa Claus. " The children will be waiting dear!" that shocked Rukia back into reality. Somewhat.

" Oh yes! The children!" Rukia took his hand in hers as she pulled him over to the stair case. a bit of blood rushed to Ichigo's face, happy she couldn't see it with the beard and all.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs people either tried to contain their laughter, or were in complete shock and awe that Santa was their. Orihime, Yachiru, and Yuzu's heads popped up from whatever they were doing and they squealed in delight.

" SANTA!" They ran over to Ichigo and bowed at his feet. Rukia and Santa looked at each other with confused expressions on their faces. Karin and Toshiro skipped over to Ichigo and took his arms.

" Your throne is over here our fat ass jolly king." Fake smiles all around from the two miniature actors. Ichigo glared at his younger sister then at the captain, but sat down a fancy shmancy seat all the same.

As soon as Ichigo sat Yachiru was placed on her lap buy Kenpachi.

" Kenny- chan! Is this really Santa Claus? " He nodded his head and glared at Ichigo, with out words he said threw his eyes, ' She had better enjoy herself in your lap, or you'll be enjoying your self in hell.' Ichigo nervously laughed and put on his act.

" So young pink haired girl, What can I get you for Christmas?" Yachiru put a thoughtful face on and contemplate.

" CANDY!" Her mouth began to foam as she named thousands of different candies. Kenpachi lifted her up from Ichigo's lap. Santa handed the spazing child a extra large candy cane. She squealed and chopped on it quickly.

Next was Yuzu. She shyly walked over and Ichigo picked her up and set her on his lap. He used his gloved finger to pick up her face to look him in the eye.

" No need to be shy little girl. Your name is Yuzu Kurosaki correct?" She nodded her head rapidly, in awe that he actually knew her name. " You've been a very good girl all year round. Sweet and kind to your siblings, Ichigo and Karin. And very tolerate of your crazy father Isshin. You deserve anything you would like."

Yuzu took a bit to think about what she truly wanted for Christmas. " I want my sister to get that fancy soccer ball that she's been looking at for months. Oh and my dad to get those new orders of hospital beds he can't afford. And lastly, I want my big brother Ichigo, To enjoy is teenage years, and realize everything isn't his fault," she motioned for Ichigo to come closer. She cupped her hand around his ear. ", Especially mom's death. I know he feels the most guilty." Yuzu was a very bad whisperer, everyone heard what she said. And it pulled on the heart strings a bit.

Ichigo was feeling all kinds of emotions he hadn't felt in years. His sister actually felt those things? She didn't want thing for herself. Such a good child. Ichigo gave her a candy cane and kissed her forehead. His whiskers tickled her and made her giggle. She slid off of his lap and walked away. Then a force jumped on his lap and sort of crushing his.. light bulbs.

" Ow."

" I'M ORIHIME! I BET YOU ALREADY KNOW ME! I"VE BEEN A GOOD GIRL ALL YEAR! YOUR A PRETTY BUSY GUY SO I'LL MAKE MY LIST SHORT." she started rambling on and on about nonsense. After the pain passed Ichigo realized it was Orihime sitting in his lap. Jumping up and down in excitement. He looked down and noticed other assets of her jiggling. He quickly looked up and blushed.

Trying his hardest he tried t only look in her excited eyes. " Uh Orhime is it? Aren't you a bit old to be sitting on my lap?" He asked.

" Yeah, b-but, but.." Her eyes started to get teary and she sniffled. Tatsuki came from behind and grabbed Ichigo's neck.

" Santa be nice!" She growled.

" Alright alright, Orihime, you've been a very good girl all year, and, " he gulped when the pressure on his neck rose. ", And I'll take all of the gifts you wanted into consideration!" Tatsuki let go and Orhime smiled and pave him a peck on the cheek. A flash of jealousy rose in Rukia, but it went back down as quickly as it came.

She walked over to Ichigo. " Okay! It's time to read to the children Santa honey!" She plopped a book on his picked it up stared at the cover. A green being stood on it. It looked like the puppet who lived in the trash can on Sesame street. He read the title.

" How the Grinch Stole Christmas. By Dr. Suess." People gathered on the floor at Santa's feet and awaited for him to begin the book. He slowly oped the book and began to read. " Every Who Down in Whoville Liked Christmas a lot…But the Grinch, Who lived just north of Whoville, Did NOT!The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight...." Ichigocontinued reading. Everyone was completely enthralled in the story. the wind whipped and howled. The heavy snow out side was guaranteed a white Christmas.

" When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who! Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two. The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter, Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water. She stared at the Grinch and said, 'Santy Claus, why, Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?' "

Then it happened! The front door to the clinic slammed open. Alarming everyone in the humble home. The wind whipped the warm faces of the people inside. The men stood taking guard of the dark figure walking in the Kurosaki residence. Then the group heard a heart warming laugh. It was Isshin. He walked inside and closed the door.

" It's a blizzard out there I tell ya. Oh look at that. My sonny decided to be a good sport and dress up for the kiddies!" He walked over to Ichigo and put his arm over his shoulder. " That's ma boy!" The alcohol on his breath was intoxicating, and made Ichigo gasp for clean air. He tried to step away from his father. But Isshin took a good grip of his hat. When Ichigo moved away his hat popped off his head and his beard fell off.

" Kurosaki- kun? " Orhime said very disappointed. Yachiru pointed a accusing finger, going back and forth from Kenpachi and Ichigo.

" Kenny! You lied! Ichi- chan isn't Santy Claus!" Ichgio and Rukia looked around the room scared. Then back back to each other. Yachiru pounced on Ichigo, but he dodged and scooped Rukia up in his arms and ran upstairs, straight to his room.

" Kiki and Ichi are liars!" The little pink haired girl screamed.

X

Rukia plopped her self on Ichigo's still unmade bed. She let out a deep sigh. " So much for Christmas miracles huh?" she fell backwards on his bed and covered her eyes with her hands. " I thought maybe everyone could find some holiday cheer and get along ya know? Some nice laughs and memories to look back on." Ichigo looked at her from across the room. She never looks this depressed, she hasn't look like this since the threat of her execution. He took off his Santa get up and went into his usual attire. Tight blue jeans, and a very sexy hoodie. He sat next her.

" It wasn't all that bad. Everyone got a good laugh out of me and you walkin' down the stairs hand in hand." He could see a soft smile past her raven hair. " The reading thing was going nicely until dad ruined it." She let a small chuckle.

" You dad is.. what do you call it? I read it in a book. A spaz?" Ichigo smirked.

" A total spaz." Rukia sighed deeply again. " Well well well. Since when does Kuchiki Rukia give up!?"

" When small pink haired girls hopped up on candy attack?"

Very true. Yachiru really needs to find a substitutefor candy. Sometimes she could go insane. He heard Rukia begin to hum. Then sing quietly.

" Dreidel, dreidal, dreidal, I made you out of clay. Dreidal, dreidal, dreidal, with driedal I shall play.

Ichigo looked at her confused. " Rukia your not Jewish." She sat up and looked up at the tall orange haired boy.

" We're not Christain or Catholic either, so why in the hell are we celebrating the holiday when we're supposed to be observing the Lord Jesus Christ's birth? Hell why are we celebrating Christmas when we live in fucking JAPAN!?" Ichigo took it into consideration. Yeah it didn't make sense, but you never question the basis around a good manga/ anime. Rukia sat on Ichigo's lap.

He blushed. When he noticed the heat on his cheeks, he turned away and mumbled. " Rukia what are you doing?"

" You never asked my what I wanted for Christmas." He rolled his eyes and said quietly.

" And what would you like for Christmas Miss. Kuchiki?" Ichigo said. Amber eyes classed with violet. She inched her face closer to his, they could feel each others breath. Hot yet, filled with peppermint. All of the candy canes they have been eating.

She whispered into his face. " You." She lightly kissed his lips. He could taste the strawberry gloss. Maybe the Christmas didn't turn out so bad. After all, He got everything he wanted and lots more.

THE END

WOOT! I've been working on this forever! And I finally buckled down and finished it. Like to say no disrespect to any of the religons I mentioned. And I'm sorry I made it so long? Some people like it over 3000 words long. Some people thing thats too long. Well If you made this far you deserve a cookie. GO GET ONE! Sorry.. Anyways

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

Mia Inori