The cure for sleeplessness
Kitty doesn't think she's slept through a single nights since she arrived at the hospital. Actually, she didn't before then either. She survives on tea and cigarettes and cat naps and at night when she wakes from horrible dreams she doesn't even bother trying to go back to sleep again. On her nocturnal wanderings she often meets Miles. They never speak about those meetings, it's a shared secret that no-one else needs to know. They don't sleep but there's no use making a fuss over it, it simply is.
She doesn't realise that Miles has told Thomas until he asks her, quite bluntly, why she doesn't sleep. She shrugs and then, under his piercing gaze feels that she should probably tell him more. It's not as if she doesn't trust him and he's already worked out some of her problems without being told. She thinks that even with someone else he would be gentle but with her, he always waits for her to respond, he never pushes, never tries to take more than what she is offering. She is grateful for that, she remembers how she'd responded to Miles grabbing her hand and shivers.
It's hard to know where to start. Thomas is sitting patiently on the dune she has begun to think of as 'theirs', waiting for her to say something.
'I don't sleep… well, I do, but I wake so easily at the slightest noise and I find it impossible to go back to sleep. With… with my husband, I was always on my guard so I became very aware of everything around me even when sleeping. It's hard because the more tired I am, the deeper my dreams are and the more sudden my shock is when I'm woken.' She pauses. 'Of course the dreams aren't very nice either.'
She looks up at Thomas and sees a look of complete anger on his face. Under his breath he is muttering, 'that bastard, bastard, bastard.'
She's mentioned her marriage but only in the vaguest of terms. She suspects that Miles has probably told him what happened in the hotel as well. Thomas has been incredibly good at letting her tell him what she wants and not pressing when she doesn't want to tell him more. He holds out his arms and she goes willingly closer, the warmth of his body against hers is instantly calming and she thinks that he is probably using her to calm himself too.
After a few minutes tucked against his side she gently says, 'Tom? I might just sleep a bit of you don't mind.'
His assenting grunt makes her smile as she closes her eyes and drifts off, feeling safer than she has for days with Thomas guarding her.
It becomes a thing that happens regularly after that. She is always short on sleep and he is always happy to help. Often when they meet, he will bring a book or a medical journal because while she is using him as a pillow he doesn't always need to sleep too. She still wanders during the night but because she is sleeping more soundly even if only in naps, she feels better and is considerably less grumpy with her tent mates. Before long, Flora comments on the change in her disposition and Kitty isn't really sure what to say.
They are stretched out on their beds on their afternoon off. Kitty would usually spend the time with Tom but he is working and they're trapped in the tent because it is raining so she's hoping that perhaps she'll be able to nap without him. After tossing and turning for a few minutes, she knows that sleep isn't going to happen and she sits up, reaching for the paper and a pencil – she thinks she saw a crossword that was only half filled in.
'Kitty,' Flora says tentatively, 'I know you're still not sleeping but you seem to be much less tired than you were, have you just got used to it? Because I'm still not used to these early mornings.'
Kitty smiles. Flora's idea of an early morning is Kitty's latest waking time, akin to a lie-in. But it is true, since she discovered the magic of Tom's shoulder as a pillow, she's much less tired.
'Is it something to do with Captain Gillan?' Flora asks perceptively. ' I noticed you've been spending a lot of time with him and, just in case you weren't aware, I think some others have too. You might want to be a bit more careful if you want to stay out of Matron's bad books.'
'Flora, you can't tell anyone, not even Peter.' She waits for Flora to nod before continuing, 'Captain Gillan, well, umm...'
'You're sweet on him, aren't you? It's obvious really, and he likes you too you know.'
'I know, and yes, I do like him but really, he just helps me sleep. I got used to, well at home I didn't sleep alone…'
A look of comprehension comes over Flora's face. 'Oh, your husband.'
Flora has jumped to exactly the conclusion Kitty was hoping. Everyone at the hospital knows she was married but she hasn't said more than that and she doesn't want to if she can help it.
'Yes, so I sleep very poorly on my own. It's more about the warmth of someone else and Captain Gillan was kind enough to offer me his shoulder once and now it's sort of a routine. He knows it helps me and he doesn't mind.'
'I'm sure he doesn't mind.' There's a knowing tone to Flora's voice but she is smiling. 'I think that's perfectly sweet. Do you think it would work with anyone or does it have to be him? Because I noticed that you were trying to sleep a bit earlier and, well, you'll have to forgive me if this seems strange but would you like to try my shoulder?'
Kitty is surprised. But really, what is there to lose from trying if Flora is offering a shoulder? She accepts and motions Flora over to her bed. It's a little bit of a squeeze but eventually they settle, Flora propped up on a pillow with her book and Kitty curled up beside her, head on her shoulder, tucked beneath Flora's arm. Within minutes she is asleep and fairly soon Flora also succumbs to the lures of her dreams.
Rosalie walks into the tent a few hours later and before she can stop it, an exclamation comes out of her mouth. Flora and Kitty are still dead to the world, both sleeping peacefully and Rosalie has to smile. She wonders if she should wake them and then grins. Kitty's Captain would come to get her for supper in a while and she thought he might appreciate the sight. Sure enough, once she has changed her uniform she hears the little clearing of the throat that both he and Kitty think is so undetectable. She puts her head out of the flaps and grins as he jumps in surprise, clearly expecting Kitty rather than her.
'Look at this,' she beckons the startled man, 'they're like the babes in the wood or something. I think it's the first time I've ever seen Kitty asleep.'
He peers into the gloom of the tent and smiles gently but she thinks she sees disappointment there as well.
'They do look very peaceful,' he murmurs. 'Don't wake them, but could you possibly tell Miss… tell Kitty I was looking for her?'
She smiles and agrees. The way he says Kitty's name so tenderly makes her envy the woman but then, she reasons, Kitty deserves some happiness.
The girls wake about half an hour later, groggy but well rested and with Rosalie, who had been waiting, they head down to the mess. Nothing is said about the napping together but there is an added closeness between Flora and Kitty which Rosalie supposes is natural, they've just spent the last few hours wrapped up together on one tiny bed after all. They see Captain Gillan with his friend and Rosalie remembers his message for Kitty.
'Your Captain came to the tent earlier but you were asleep and he told me not to wake you. He said to let you know he was looking for you when you woke up, I forgot until now.'
Kitty smiles and doesn't get annoyed at the reference to 'her captain' which pleases Rosalie. They finish eating and then Kitty excuses herself, leaving the mess and being followed by Captain Gillan a few minutes later. His friend comes over to their table and sits with them companionably.
'They think they're so subtle don't they,' he says with a grin. 'I'm Captain Hesketh-Thorne but you can call me Miles.'
Within minutes they are chatting comfortably and Rosalie muses that she never thought hospital life would be so friendly.
Kitty and Tom walk to the beach together in silence.
'I'm sorry I was asleep earlier, you should have woken me,' she says.
'You looked very peaceful, I didn't want to disturb you.'
'You saw me?' She is slightly incredulous, that means that Rosalie, queen of propriety, let a man into their tent.
'Your friend… she wanted me to see. She compared you two to babes in the wood or some such thing. I'm glad you managed to get some sleep.'
The last bit is said in a slightly disgruntled tone and she realises that perhaps he is jealous.
'Tom, you do realise that I would much prefer to use you as a pillow, don't you?'
She is grinning at him and he can't help responding.
'Flora is all very well and at least I know that I can use her if I need to but you are much more comfortable and I like spending time with you.
He is quiet but she hears him saying, 'I like spending time with you, too.'
'Even when I'm sleeping?' she teases.
'Even then… you're quieter that way.' His face remains perfectly solemn but his voice is quivering with laughter as she swats him on the arm before putting her hand in his.
'Shall we go for that walk then? I'm afraid you'll have to put up with me talking unless…' she is suddenly shy.
'Unless I do this?' Feeling bold, he pulls her gently to him and, hoping she doesn't stop him, he places his hand on her cheek, marvelling at the softness of her skin before pressing his lips gently to hers. They kiss for a moment and then he pulls away, smiling. It isn't their first kiss but it's still quite new for him and each time he is amazed that such a woman lets him kiss her.
She is smiling too and together they walk across the beach with the low sun casting long shadows behind them onto the sand.
Yay, more fluff! There's a thing on tumblr about how napping together can help people bond and I'd already written a little drabble about Tom helping Kitty to sleep so here we go. Episode 6 is in less than 3 hours my lovelies and I'm so excited! fingers crossed for Kitmas and for darling Joan
Reviews are wonderful and I'd like to thank everyone who has taken the time to review any of my other stories in this fandom :)