A/N I wrote several different versions of this, so maybe I'll post a couple chapters as those.
at 8, Sam had looked up at his brother and been blinded by the halo around his head
at 15, Sam had looked away from his brother, ashamed by the temptation that was his brother
at 18, Sam had looked back at his brother, hoping and failing to see his protector from when he was 8 who would never leave Sammy alone
and at 26, Sam finally is able to look across their motel bed at Dean, and it was like staring into the sun and realizing you can see the stars