Five Times Canada Made a Bad Pun During WW2

And one time someone beat him to it. My friend and I were roleplaying when we started doing bad puns about WW2, naturally I had to make a fanfiction out of it. This is not meant to offend anyone. Disclaimer! Someone, go!

Austria: Italy's Driving does not own Hetalia, as it belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.

Nice! Is there any chance you can teach me how to play the flute?

Austria: Maybe later.

YES! Onto the story!

AIN'T DOING NO FANCY LINE BREAKS! I'LL GIVE YOU SONG LYRICS INSTEAD!

The first time it happened, Russia was the cause. He had shown up late to the Allied meeting and everyone was just glaring at him for five minutes, perfectly silent. Canada was the one that broke it. He awkwardly cleared his throat, causing everyone to turn to him. He grinned at his newfound power.

"You know, Russia, there's no time for stalin when we're russian to beat the Axis," Canada said. America covered up a snort. Canada grinned encouragingly at his younger brother, which caused the other North American to bang his head on the table in an attempt to stop laughing. The rest of the Allied Powers had to hold Russia back from pulverizing both North Americans.

I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK! YEAH! ALL OF THEM OTHER BOYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT! YEAH!

The second time it happened, all of the Allies and Axis were standing in France, which had just been conquered by the Germans. France was sobbing on the ground, while Germany pressed a boot to his chest with a smug look on his face. Canada once again cleared his throat. Everyone turned to him, even France stopped crying.

"I think I speak for all of is when I say, I did nazi that coming," Canada said, raising his hands. America broke down in a fit of giggles, and France started sobbing even more loudly than before. This time, the Axis had to hold Germany back from pulverising both North Americans.

I THINK IT'S SPECIAL WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR BACK! YEAH!

The third time it happened, the meeting was going smoothly. For once, they were really getting things done. Of course, then the attention turned to the camps and Canada, of course, had something to say about that. When he cleared his throat, America was already holding back a smile while the remaining Allies looked about ready to kill him.

"One time at camp, we got totally baked," Canada said simply. America fell off of his chair from laughing while the others were breathing heavily, attempting to either A) calm down or B) not laugh. It seemed it failed, as England had to be held back.

SO TURN AROUND AND I'LL PICK UP THE SLACK! YEAH!

The fourth time it happened, was actually at a meeting to make peace at the end of the war. All of the Axis and Allies (and their bosses) were there to discuss the prices. France was looking a little worse for wear, but otherwise fine. Canada had gotten up to get something to juice. But was struck by both disappointment and inspiration when he realized the drink he had wanted was gone.

"Well." Canada projected his voice, and everyone looked at him, "It would appear someone eliminated all the juice." America started breathing heavily, a giant smile on his face. Germany, once again, had to be held back so as not to kill the other. America's boss was also laughing, while Canada's just profusely apologized to everyone.

DIRTY BABE! YA SEE THESE SHACKLES BABY I'M YOUR SLAVE!

The fifth time it happened, was also at a peace treaty meeting. There was a break in the meeting and Canada was trying to read. Honestly, this time it was a complete accident. Merely a… slip of the tongue. Which resulted in an amazing pun. Everyone as being really loud and rowdy.

"You guys are breaking my concentration!" Canada honestly didn't mean to say; "Camp you see I'm trying to read?" This time, the Allies were actually all laughing. Except America, who turned to his brother with most serious face anyone had ever seen on him and said;

"You really need to stop with these puns, bro. They're getting out of mein kampfort zone." No one even tried to stop Germany from beating them up this time.

I'LL LET YOU WHIP ME IF I MISBEHAVE! IT'S JUST THAT NO ONE MAKES ME FEEL THIS WAY!

So… yeah. That just happened. Are you all proud of my puns? I loved writing this. I can totally imagine Canada being that one jerk that constantly makes puns.

This Is ID Saying; That's All Folks!