Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or anything Harry Potter related, they are all the property of JK Rowling and her publishers. I don't mean any disrespect against her or the original story, I write for fun, no money is being made and no infringement of Copyrighted Work.

A/N: This is my first attempt at HP/DM slash. I have previously not attempted to write a full Harry/Draco story on my own but been co. writing with friends. Reviews are always highly appreciated and constructive ones will help me improve.

((This chapter was edited on the 2nd of Dec 2017. The content remains the same only grammatical aspects has been altered and improved. I intend to do the same thing to all the early chapters in due course. Once a chapter has been updated a note will be added to the top of the chapter. For further info about my plan to edit the story please see Ch66 "announcement".))

Chapter 1

I was staring down at my hands, they were shaking uncontrollably and the cold October rain was lashing against my skin like whips of ice. I was soaked to the bone. If I wouldn't have been so stubborn I could just have hid in a closet in one of the adjacent corridors for a while. But when you have been seen stomping out in to an ongoing autumn storm, knowing fully well that it was raging out there, you can't just turn back because of some rain. No, that would be the same thing as admitting defeat. I felt a tug of anxiety in the pit of my stomach as the scenes from earlier played on repeat in my head.

Ginny had waited for me outside of the classroom when I finished the final class of the week. She had taken my hand in hers and pulled me along to a deserted transfiguration room. She had sat herself down on top of one of the desks at the far end of the room before gesturing for me come closer. I had swallowed hard as I walked over to her, the palms of my hands were sweaty but I had suppressed the urge to wipe them on the legs of my trousers. Instead I pulled my arms up the sleeves of my shirt, but stopped myself rather hastily, realising that she might pick up on the fact that I was nervous. She didn't know it yet but I had been rehearsing a speech in my head over and over in the last few days, although I was still to conjure up the Gryffindor courage and break the news to the red headed girl that was my girlfriend. Ginny had a twinkle of something playing in her eyes as she eagerly waited for me to come closer, and her voice had an undertone of something I couldn't really put my finger on. Sitting on the desk made our eyes level with each other, she smiled at me and inhaled just as if she was going to say something but closed her mouth again.

"Hi..!" she said, all of a sudden she seemed very shy.

" Hi" I said whilst letting my eyes trail away from hers and over her shoulder to the right, scared to look at her for more than a split second, as if she could see what was bothering me.

"H-Harry... I have been thinking." she started but her voice died down before she could finish. Instead she just sat there, blushing.

A weird sensation filled me up inside. Hope, but there was also a hit of relief, yet I couldn't help feeling as if she had beaten me to the finish line. Could she possibly be feeling the same way? Had we been tiptoeing around one another, trying not to hurt the other one when the both of us actually felt the same way?

"Me too" I met her eyes again, filled with a new found confidence I also let on a small and slightly crooked smile.

"Ah Harry! I am so glad that you feel the same way!" Ginny beamed at me.

"Yeah it's such a relief." I exhaled, running my hand through my hair.

" I really feel, and have done so for quite a while, that we are more than ready to take our relation to the next level" as she finished the sentence she leant forward and her right hand reached for the top button of my uniform trousers.

I stood completely frozen to the ground, I was dumbstruck. I felt like an absolute idiot with my fly half undone and Ginny in front of me thinking that this was exactly what I wanted too, that I was longing for us to take our relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend to a whole new level. I don't know how long I stood there just trying to process what was actually happening. It wasn't until her cold and, what my brain registered as clammy,fingers closed around me I suddenly snapped out what ever zone I was in and back.

"No! No, no, no!" along with each no that I uttered I took another step backwards, away from her, away from her hands. I was fully aware of the fact that this was probably not the smoothest way to break up with someone but it was a little bit to late to handle it differently now.

"Harry what's wrong?" the look on Ginny's face was complete and utter confusion.

"I am sorry, I cant do this." I shook my head.

"We can take it slow Harry, I didn't mean to rush things" she raised her hand to moved a strand of hair from her face and back in to its rightful place behind the ear.

"Ginny, I cant do this, I mean..." I paused, drew a deep and very shaky breath before continuing. "I don't want to do this, I cant... don't want... us...any more" the last words came out no louder than a whisper, but there was no mistaking the fact that she'd heard every single one of them.

When the realisation of what I had just said dawned on her I once again direct my eyes in another direction, away from her. To see the look on her face as her heart shattered was too much. Even though I didn't want her as a girlfriend she was still very important to me and someone I wanted to remain in my life. Based on that little fact my way of breaking up with her was stupidly moronic.

As regret over my way of tackling the situation washed over me I threw another sorry her way over my shoulder, buttoned my trousers back up and left the class room with Gunny still in there. The door swung shut behind me with a click. Most people had gone back to their common rooms after the final classes had finished joyfully welcoming the arrival of the week end, so I wasn't surprised to find the hallways empty and quiet. My foot steps echoed in the deserted corridors, I am not sure how but I eventually ended up in one of the boys lavatories on the second floor. I locked myself in one of the stalls and remained in there for hours. The porcelain toilet lid was hard and cold under me but I couldn't care less as I was slowing rocking back and forth lost in my thoughts. Every time I rocked backwards the back of my head knocked against the tiled wall ever so slightly. This was not how I had panned for things to turn out, just because I didn't love her as a girl friend didn't mean I didn't care for her. Ginny was a part of my family. Was. I corrected myself. Surely the Weasleys weren't going to take lightly on me treating her this way. The thought formed a tight knot in the pit of my stomach.

Eventually I managed to pull myself together and walk down the marble stairs, still in my school clothes. In the great hall dinner was in full swing, although I didn't feel like eating at all but gathered that Ron and Hermione would be wondering where I was if I wasn't to show up. The great hall was filled with cheerful voices loudly discussing the usual Friday topic of the past week and the week end ahead. The new 3rd year students were probably the most exited and also the ones making the most noise. I tried to remember what date it was and came to the conclusion that it must be the one marking the first Hogsmeade visit. With a deep sigh I sat myself down at random in a free spot by the Gryffindor table, it was unusual to find that Ron and Hermione wasn't there yet, seeing as Ron was always one of the early birds to dinner. That's when I heard him.

"HARRY POTTER!" The voice resembled a dragons roar and there was no doubt to whom it belonged. "WHAT IN MERLINS NAME HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SISTER!?" he bellowed. Every single soul, both living and dead, in the great hall had fallen silent. The week end buzz from moments earlier has vanished as by magic. All I could think was oh fuuuck...!

"Mr Weasley! What is this supposed to mean?" I didn't noticed her until she spoke, but Professor McGonagall had made her way down to the Gryffindor table where I was standing, there was still a good 10 meters between Ron and myself, and thank god for that!

"You, you!" Ron panted furiously as I dashed past him and out through the double doors. I wouldn't say I was running in shame, no, more something along the lines of escaping an awkward conversation. I caught a quick glimpse of Hermione's eyes half way through the doors. Sometimes she was incredibly easy to read, and today sadness was on display, although more than one type of sadness. It was as if she was telling me what a fool I had been, how stupidly bad I had handled the situation, how sorry she felt for Ginny, but I also felt like she somehow felt for me. As I was about to turn around the corner I glanced over my shoulder, I could still hear Ron shouting obscenities in my direction whilst McGonagall was trying to, figuratively, shut him up. The last thing heard before vanishing in to the dark night outside was a wolf-whistle emerging from the direction of the Slytherin table and what sounded a lot like Draco Malfoy clapping his hands, laughing wholeheartedly.

My shaking hands were red from the cold and the rain. In a lame attempt to stop them from getting any worse I crossed my arms over my chest and tucked them in under my armpits. It didn't make much of a difference so in a second attempt to keep myself warm I started walking aimlessly. Although I soon reached Hagrid's cottage at the edge of the forbidden forest. Once at the door however I decided that this was something I shouldn't burden Hagrid with so I turned on the top step and headed for the more shaded areas of the Hogwarts grounds. My body must have been instinctively looking for some where to shelter itself from the raving storm as it used it's last powers to raise my wand arm, flick it lamely and crawl down the roots of the whomping willow, through the long tunnle and in to the shrieking shack. I dont remember how I got myself up those wooden stairs in the old building or how I walked across the dusty floor but I do recall the floor boards creaking under my feet and the metallic cries from the old springs in the bed as I collapsed on top of it. At first I was to stiff an to cold to feel anything at all, on the inside as well as on the outside. After laying there in foetal position with my eyes closed for god knows how long, sheltered from the rain and the worst gusts of wind my body slowly but surely started to regain a small amount of heat. But along with the heat came the tears, the internal ice had also began to melt and the floods from my eyes were impossible to stop. If there would have been any excess strength left in me the silent cry wouldn't have been just a steady stream of tears but uncontrolled ugly-wailing mixed with screams of anger and pain. Pain because of how horribly I had dealt with Ginny, pain reminding me of what I didn't feel for her and what I probably had ruined forever. The room slowly stated to feel dimmer and I could swear the wind outside had quieted down, my breathing was becoming more and more relaxed and every in-and exhale deepened. It didnt really matter if it all ended here and now I though to my self before I dosed off.

It was early morning when I woke up on Saturday. The light in the room was dingy and it was still too early to look across the fairly small room. My clothes were still very cold and wet, causing my body to succumb to uncontrollable shakes and jerks, yet I somehow managed to pull myself in to an up right position on the edge of the springy bed. To my surprise I found a pile of dry clothes neatly folded on the floor next to my feet and as I leaned down to pick the clothes up I caught a glimpse of what seemed like a sudden movement in the corner of my eye. I could have sworn that I had seen the glimpse of a shoe, as if someone was just leaving the room. If my body wouldn't have been completely stiff from sleeping awkwardly in the old bed all night I would have dashed down the stairs to see if someone had in fact been watching me sleep or if I had simply imagined the movement. I supposed that it could just have been Hermione who had consulted the marauders map to locate me and bring something less damp.

I was interrupted half way through a thought by the moaning sound erupting from my stomach, bringing to my attention that I had not eaten a proper meal since lunch the day before. I changed in to the dry clothes as quickly as I could, shivering worse than ever as the last wet thread was removed from my skin. After stripping down to the bare skin I paused a second to study my own reflection in an old and very dusty mirror hanging of the wall opposite me, momentarily forgetting how cold I was. My left hand travelled along and then across my naked chest but the memories of Ginny from yesterday surfaced relatively quick as my hand reached that sensitive patch of skin just under my bellybutton. The awful feeling brought on by the memories had me looking away from my reflection and directing the attention back to getting the clothes on to my body.

The old watch on my arm told me that it was only 5.27 in the morning when I stepped through the heavy castle doors. Knowing that breakfast would not be served for another few hours I headed downstairs and towards the kitchen. Whilst looking over my shoulder, making sure the coast was clear, I tickled the pear on the painting that concealed the entrance to the kitchen. I hadn't even begun to shut the door behind me before I was surrounded by a whole bunch of house elves. With big, almost sad, eyes they were all staring up at me, probably wondering what I was doing up at such an early hour, although it didn't take long before the silence was broken by a most familiar voice.

"Master Harry!" Dobby pushed his way through the crowd of elves and took one of my hands, cradling it between his small ones. "How can we be of assistance, master Harry?" Dobby's voice was eager and the other house elves around him was frantically nodding their head up and down, ears flopping wildly on either side of their heads.

"Yea, I was wondering... if there is anything I could eat… eh... I missed dinner last night" I didn't know why I was complicating things, they would probably be the last creatures in the castle to judge me.It didnt take more than a few moments before they had dished up a gourmet breakfast on a barrel of pumpkin juice in front of me. An odd but rather peaceful feeling slowly started to fill me up inside as I was eating the food, nursing every bite as if it was a final meal. Soon the house elves returned to their duties, all but a few. I finished the food and the elves still lingering around me looked at me with admiration. It sounds stupid, but I actually felt cared for, even if it was some what forced. I thanked them all for their generosity before making my way out of the kitchen. The corridor outside felt awfully nippy compared to the warm kitchen filled with steaming tea pots.

At a good pace I left the kitchen behind me lost in my own thought, not expecting anyone to be up this early on a Saturday morning, causing me to walk straight in to the person coming round the corner at the exact moment as me. Our foreheads collided with a loud thudandthe impact caused the both of us to fall backwards. I landed on my back, just inches away from hitting the back of my head on the marble floor.

"Watch it Potter!" I had to have walked in to Malfoy of all people, Great! Despite the situation I couldn't help but to notice the slight taken aback tone in his voice, rather than the usually venomous one.

"Not like you were looking either" I snapped back at him, pulling myself back on to my feet.

"Looking less wet now.." the Sytherin quickly shut his mouth and walked off in the opposite direction, leaving me rather confused to say the least.

TBC,

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