One Heart

Chapter 1

Starving

Natalie stared at the computer screen in front of her. It all looked the same. She had become so distracted by her thoughts. Of course, they were of Nick. He was always foremost in her brain; never far away. Ever since the Divia drama, her relationship with Nick had changed. Not that it was bad. It was just that it was stalled. It was all so confusing, emotional draining, and physically draining.

There were many secrets he kept. At least, he thought they were secret. She knew them all. Call it a sixth sense or something. She knew he brought Janette back across. She knew about the medicine woman. She knew about his bargain with LaCroix. She knew he was drinking human blood, for the most part. She saw it in his blood, when she ran the tests. He had to know that she knew. She knew that he loved her and was trying to protect her. From what she was not sure. LaCroix's loyalties had shifted since the Divia drama. He had changed. So had Nick.

Nick had become protective and she really like it. He always wanted to know where she was at and what she was doing. It did not bother her because it made her feel secure. However, she felt lonely. Nick has become physically distant. Not that there physical relationship was anything to write home about. However, he did not caress her face or even kiss her on the cheek anymore. Yes, she spent the day quite often at the loft. She was there more than she was at her apartment. They drove in together more often than not. Yes, there was all kinds of gossip. She did not even care anymore. They had the strangest relationship.

Yes, they were in a serious relationship. They could pretend they were not but they were. All the signs were there. She had a drawer, part of the closet, and her part of the shared bathroom. He did have a bathroom downstairs but that was never an option. Her robe hung on the door beside his. He even had a few things at her apartment because occasionally (out of the necessity), he stayed at her place albeit on the sofa. It only happened if they were running late to get home.

They even had a few dates in the past few months. Dinner and a movie. No touching though. She tried but did not push the issue. He would not even hold her hand. Of course, he was always the gentlemen. That sucked! She was not sure what the problem was at the moment. They move forward in one area and something else bottoms out. There was no balance. She blew out slowly to let out a long bated breath.

How long they could keep this up? She did not know because she was about ready to burst. It was emotional. She loved him so much that her heart literally quivered. It was a weird feeling. It felt so right. They were so simpatico. (That is what Schanke would say) Even more so than most married couples. However, she was almost at her wits ends. She was wound tighter than a coil. Nick was on edge to. You could feel the electricity between the two. They were both…they needed…wanted…okay…they needed release. Grace had even mentioned it and told her she needed to do something about it. Nick was becoming hard to handle for Tracy. He was easily agitated and easily "set off" as Grace conveyed to her.

Recently Natalie, did some rehab on her knee and it was good to go. She found a much needed release for all her pent up energy; that is where the exercise came in. She resumed her swimming. She had been on the swim team in high school and college. She was really good too. It came back naturally. Well, that turned into walking. Walking turned into jogging. And now she was beginning to training for a 5K. It was for a local children's charity. It was for missing children. Natalie was running in memory of her goddaughter.

She was training two hours a day. Actually, she enjoyed the benefits. She had lost eight pounds but gained tone and muscle. She was looking good. She had a six pack because she hired a trainer for twice a week and he whipped her butt into shape. For 34 years old, she looked really good (not that it had any affect on Nick…he said nothing). However, she had been asked out twice in the past two weeks by men at the gym. Of course, she turned them down. She had no desire to be with anyone else. They were hotties but they were not Nick.

She had to face facts. No man would ever fill her heart the way Nick did. It was just a simple truth. It lingered in her soul. She belonged to him and no one else. No matter what happened. That is the way it would always be. Another simple truth. Not that there was anything simple about them because Nick was a vampire.

She did not care. He was more human than most people. His spirit was sweet and his heart swelled with compassion and love. His redemption needed to come to fruition. It had to come from him. He needed to go to God and ask for forgiveness and accept it. That is the part he had a hard time about. He did not understand that his works were good but they were not what would redeem him. Only God could do that. Natalie knew that. She needed to do it herself. She had faith and believed but needed to take it in and let it become a part of her.

She sighed a heavy sigh. There were needs in her that could only be met by Nick. She needed him to show her affection physically. He did sweet stuff for her all the time. He brought her dinner tonight so she would not have to go out in the cold. He had her car tuned up for her by a friend while at work. The list was endless. He did the things that a partner would do. Not just a friend.

This was not about sex. Okay that would help. It was about wants and needs that ran far deeper than the emotional. She wanted him to hold her hand, put his arms around her, kiss her, hold her, caress her, and run his fingers through her hair. Nothing too big. Just a little. Maybe she should just take it and be damned for the consequences.

She heard footsteps so she resumed scrolling through fixing the new assistants mistakes. He had to go. That was for another day.

She knew it was him before he even entered the room. She looked up from the screen, "Hey Nick!" She smiled at him. Of course, she was beaming. She inwardly slapped herself.

He smiled that smile, "Hey yourself!" He walked over to the side of the desk and leaned over and looked at her computer. He gave her a questioning look. "I thought you did not have to do those reports anymore. It was Wayne's job." He was frowning now.

She met his gaze. "I know but Grace said they had a lot of mistakes and she was not kidding. All he has to do is transcribe the tapes. It's crazy. He stinks."

"It's not your job!" He quipped. He was tired of this. Her job alone was enough.

"Nick, I know that but this is my department and I will not have that go out like that. I promise I will address it after the weekend. I do not want to deal with it right now. Too much other stuff to deal with." She began to grow weary from the conversation.

Nick senses it and went on to something else. "Guess what I got ticket to for tomorrow night?" She raised an eyebrow waiting for the answer. She was in no mood to guess. He sensed that to. "I was talking with Danning in vice and he told me that his daughters are sick so he and his wife can not go so he offered to sale them to me. It is tickets to see "The Best of David Foster" live. Celine Dion will even be there."

Without thinking, Natalie jumped out of her chair and threw her arms around Nick's neck and screamed with joy. She had been wanting tickets to that for a long time but they were sold out. Nick even tried to use his connections but it was too late. Natalie pulled back and looked at him with the biggest smile on her face and leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. She then embraced him with all her might. She felt his arms around her squeezing her. They stood there like that for a good while. Nick rubbed his stubble against her cheek and Natalie closed her eyes and took in the moment... She needed this. It motivated her. It gave her life. It was so strange but she could not explain it.

She felt him rub her back up and down. He was communicating to her. This is what he needed to. It was weird that they could do that. He pulled back first (of course) by dropping his arms and stepping back. He looked at her with longing and hope. Yes, hope. Hope for what though? She did not know.

"Nat, I …" before another word was spoken, Tracy walked in the door with the report in her hand.

"Nat, what's up?" The chipper blonde smiled as she spoke.

"Just hanging out in the old stomping ground." Nat told her and returned the smile.

"It does feel that way sometimes, doesn't it?" Tracy replied.

"You got that right." Nat peered at Nick and he looked at her in a way that made her heart leap. He wanted to tell her something.

Tracy sensed she dropped in on something and excused herself because she needed to meet a friend for lunch.

After she left, Nick perched himself on Nat's desk with his arms crossed. She could tell he was processing something and she was not going to stop him because she wanted it to be something…anything to move them forward.

Nick closed his eyes, stood up straight, and walked over to Natalie by the work table. All he did was reach for her and pull her into his arms. Nothing was said. He held her with abandon. He was telling he knew how she felt. He was hungry for this type of attention too. He ever so slowly pulled back and peered into her blue eyes. He leaned forward and ever so gently lifted his mouth and kissed her on the forehead. He lingered and lingered. It was killing her. 'Do something already?' she thought. She was not moving. Before she knew it, Nick kissed her nose and ever so gently touched his lips to hers. It was a butterfly kiss. So gently you barely felt it but she felt it. All the way down to her loins. It was innocent. Like hell it was. That kiss was like a warning system. He pulled back and said, "I will pick you up at 5 and we can stop at the store for some food and stuff for you."

Natalie gave him her biggest smile. "Okay!" That was the best she could do. There they were. Standing in a morgue. Holding each other. A mortal and a vampire.

The funny thing was that the vampire was terrified of the mortal. His feelings for her ran so deep that his every thought was of her. Every breath was of her. Every step was to lead him closer to her. It was a magnetic pull. He knew she felt it. He tried to fight it. Not because he did not ant to act upon it. He did. More than anything in his life. LaCroix even released him from his bargain. He could not push past that she deserved better than this. She deserved a normal man with a normal life. Whatever that was. He knew how she felt. It went through him every time he was near. It gave him peace. It gave him joy. It gave him…hope. Hope for redemption and hope for them. The pull had become so strong that he dared not to touch her because he would lose it and they could not afford for him to do that.

Then there was the vampire. The vampire was docile around her. He guessed it was her love and acceptance as a part of him. She accepted it better than he did. The vampire wanted her blood. It called for it…all the time. It had gotten worse since the Divia incident. That is why he was drinking the human blood. It was the only way to have control. He hoped she understood that. He wanted more from her and wanted to give her more. It literally hurt him.

She was altruistic about the whole thing. Love conquers all. Faith will prevail. Hope for the future. He knew the reality. One moment of weakness could mean her demise. She would be lost to him forever and that would be the end of that. It would be the end of him. He would walk into the sunlight. She was his life and that was a simple fact. There was nothing else.

He needed her and she needed him. He loved her and she loved him. If only it all was that simple. Bottom line…they were both starving.