Privet! I am Russia! But I guess you can call me Ivan. Well I joined Fanfiction after a friend urged me, and so far it is quite interesting. But I supposed it is more
fun when you actually write, da? So I guess I will write. I have some interesting stories that you may or may not like, it kind of depends. Like the time I shoved
France into a wall, that was hilarious! But none of the other countries seemed to think it was funny except for Britain. Well this first one is about the time when
America and Britain got into a fight over hamburgers and scones. Word of advice, do not under any circumstances try one of Britain's scones, they are deadly.
It was a Tuesday afternoon. The weather was fair, well, fairer than my home is in the fall. Many people probably do not know, but the countries all meet in
Manhattan, New York, a state in America. It is kind of sad because I would definitely love everyone to come to my house some time, it will make it easier for
everyone to become one with me! Oh well, everyone says no anyway.
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As I walked into the meeting room, already most of the European countries had gathered. Out of the Asian countries, China and the Korea's were there. The
rest had not shown up yet, probably still asleep in their hotel rooms. At the front of the room was America, shuffling some papers. I could have sworn I saw a
drawing of a superhero on one of the pages. America is so childish, but I guess I will admit he is a formidable rival.
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"G-Good morning, Russia. H-How are y-you?" Lithuania spoke up as I walked over to my seat.
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"Ah, dobroye utro (pronounced doo-bro-ye, oo-tra), Lithuania! I am very good, spasibo! (pronounced spa-see-bah)" I smiled and took my seat. "And you?"
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"I've had better days," He managed to say without trembling. Is he scared of me or something?
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"No, dude, hamburgers are totally better than scones any day!" America shouted from the front of the room. He banged his fist on the table, which caused
several of the other nations to jump slightly. It did not startle me though.
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"You git! Just because that batch of scones did not turn out-" Britain got cut off by America, who raised his hand and shook his head.
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"Dude, any batch of scones you make, they suck." And that kind of made Britain's face turn red like a beet.
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"Why in the hell are you two dummkopfs (how you spell, da?) fighting over food?" Germany strode over to America and Britain, who had both paused in their
childish argument for a moment to stare at Germany.
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"Not just any food, Britain insulted my burgers!" America proclaimed very loudly. I had to fight the urge to cover my ears; it would have made me look weak,
and I do not like being weak. You understand, da?
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"And him, my scones!" Britain retaliated angrily, his face changed to blood red. Not really a color that suits him properly if I do say so myself.
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"Dare I ask why you even brought up food in the first place? Never mind, don't tell me." Germany added as the other two opened their mouths to reply. At
this point I got up from my seat and walked to the front of the room.
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"How about both scones and hamburgers are bad, da? Can you both shut up now and sit down?" I realized that this was a big mistake as both America and
Britain glared daggers at me. However, I just smiled at them and they both fidgeted nervously, averting their gazes and mumbling, "Yeah, whatever." And
then America, because he is an idiot, had to say, "But my hamburgers are so much better than your scones."
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"Those scones were a recipe passed down to me by my mumsy!" Britain growled and he wrapped his hands around America's neck with the intent (I believe)
of choking America to death. I would have helped him if my boss had not told me to try to make some peace with America, and not stir up any trouble.
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"Scones!
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"Burgers!"
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"Scones!"
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"Burgers!
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"Scones!"
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"Pasta!" Italy stood up and waved his hands in the air happily.
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"Sit down, idiot!" Romano forced Italy back into his seat most unceremoniously. I just closed my eyes and shook my head. For what seemed to be the
hundredth time, the meeting was going to end in complete and utter chaos.
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And so anyways, America and Britain went on like that, the whole "Scones", "Burgers", thing for a little over an hour, and my headache was getting
increasingly prominent. I really just wanted to snap, but that was everyone's job but mine. Then the most interesting thing happened. Canada walked in
holding a bag that had a giant letter M on it, and his other hand held a scone. Nobody even noticed him walking in, except France of course. The look on his face was, well,
interesting...let us just leave it at that.
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"Ok, America, here's the test!" Canada shouted, or attempted to shout. His voice hardly raised above a normal level. I must wonder, why does that cute little
Canadian talk so softly? He is nothing like his brother at all.
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"Dude, where did you come from?" America asked and pryed Britain's hands off of his throat almost effortlessly. Da, America was being strangled by Britain for almost an
hour. Please do not ask me how he survived...because I seriously do not know.
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"McDonald's...and Britain's room," Canada "shouted". He then shoved the bag towards Britain and the scone towards America. "Eat them." Both America and Britain were
quite stunned. I do not think they have ever been ordered around by Canada before, which I must say I think I gained a little bit of respect towards the North American
country. A little bit.
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Both of them kind of reluctantly bit into the food. America spat out the scone almost immediately and Britain the burger. And Canada was just standing there with a smug
expression on his face. I have honestly never seen that side of Canada before!
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"Disgusting," America muttered and threw the scone in the garbage, which was immediately followed by the burger.
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"Horrible." Britain took a long drink from his water bottle. Probably to wash the taste out of his mouth, da?
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"Pasta!" For the second time that annoying Italian stood up in his seat and shouted about pasta. Honestly there's more to life than just pasta. Piroshki and Vodka for example
^.^ Oh you should definately try Tula Gingerbread. Now that stuff is good.
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The funny part was, both America and Britain agreed that pasta sounded a lot better than burgers or scones (which was saying a lot in America's case). Germany adjourned
the meeting, everyone went home, and to my surprise I was invited out for pasta at this (surprisingly good) Italian restaurant that was in the area. Italy is so nice
sometimes! ^.^ So he, America, Britain, France (I do not really know how he got invited), Romano, Spain, and I all went out for pasta. The end. :-) Did you like? I you would
like I can tell you all more. So much stuff has happened in my life, if you just say one word I can easily turn it into a story that happened to me once. Would you like me to?