It was inevitable that it would happen sometime. Murphy's Law practically dictated it had to happen, just as Cole's law dictated that cabbage was the only vegetable ever available in the canteen. Susan just wishes it would happen to someone who wasn't Susan Vasquez, looking to get some time off and a raise in the near future. If she was being really optimistic, she'd add a fancy alien gun to that list, but everyone knows Danvers hoards them like a dragon with Easter eggs.
Vasquez is just a second too slow – not that it's her fault, it's the computer's, plus whoever keeps downloading updates that do nothing but taking up space on the hard drive – in reacting to Hank's sudden appearance in the command center.
There's a moment of dread as everyone present registers what's about to happen, and then "BOONE?!" rings out in the sudden silence.
Vasquez mashing the pause button is very, extremely, utterly loud.
They have security protocols in place for a reason, dammit. Why does this sort of thing have to happen to her?
The video finally, finally pauses.
Silence gets a whole lot more silent. If Susan were to venture a guess, not a single agent is breathing. Danvers might be, but then Susan is only ninety percent sure Danvers is human.
"I found that hilarious."
Hank's voice is completely deadpan. He says it with a straight face. The straightest face imaginable. His face is so straight they probably use it to check instruments at NASA.
They're still not breathing.
"Agent Danvers, with me."
He still has a straight face. Alex nearly trips getting out of the chair. Are her shoulders shaking? Susan would check, but she's a bit busy joining the DEO's latest exhibition of living statues.
They leave.
Still not breathing. Vasquez stares dead ahead, checking the doors out of the corner of her eyes. Some are starting to look at a little blue round the lips.
Vasquez is never, ever letting herself be conned into playing poker with the Director. Ever. Danvers is bad enough, with her pool and darts and possibly paintball as well, but no one's stupid enough to suggest she tags along. They do have some self-respect left in this place.
It's one of the new agents – Smith? Mift? Something like that - that breaks the silence and reminds them all that humans, unlike certain species of alien, actually require oxygen to function.
"What. The. He -"
Aaaand ... Susan is back in action.
"Back to work, people. These aliens aren't going to catch themselves."
She pretends not to notice the muffled "noice" in the background. This is a disciplined governmental agency, after all. Nothing but the best of the best of the best. And Alex Danvers.