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I arrived at the Oxtroff institute as a small, innocent and helpless infant, one of the first members of the Oxtroff Centre. Though my memories on that time were faded, I remember the loneliness of being the only child in the large estate. The halls were cold and unpleasant, there were no toys to play with and no one to talk to besides the Avox workers and the stern Lady of the House. I didn't get to see her much, but even as a toddler I understood that she was in charge of everything.

The Centre looked ancient and frightening with its long halls, high swirled staircase and locked rooms. The entire place smelled like a mixture of death and fungus. It was safe to say that it was no place for a child.

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After three long years of solitude I didn't expect any company joining me any soon. Even though small hope still tried to live on, most of me had made peace with the fact that the only friend I'd ever have was the elderly lady whom I assisted with cleaning laundry. Though the word assisted needs to be taken lightly as I was mostly just sitting on a pile of dirty laundry and laughed as she tried to snatch it from underneath me.

Therefore when the door opened and revealed a brown-haired boy, looking a bit older than me, I was more than surprised. His name was Fendrel and as I later found out, he was 2 years older than me. He didn't took liking to me at first at all and sought quiet and abandoned places, ignoring me whenever I tried to initiate a conversation. He even refused to share a room with me and moved himself into one of the empty rooms at the end of the main hallway. I was disappointed from his behaviour and wondered what the reason behind it was.

Few weeks later he started to warm up to me. It begun slowly with exchanged greetings and innocent jokes on the Centre's staff and as the days went by, we talked more and more. We conversed about everything and anything that we were interested in at our age and one time, during the lunch, he explained to me why he was so distant from the beginning. Apparently he was out with his entire family when some soldiers came in and took him away. He missed his family dearly and wondered what happened to them, but no one was willing to give him any answers. It was strange to hear someone talking about their family, when I never got to experience what it felt like. After that moment we were almost inseparable. He moved back to my room and for the first time in my life I felt like I had someone who cared about me.

The year didn't end there though. Around seven or eight months after Fendrel had arrived, we were told that another two children would be coming. It was exciting new, after all the more kids came, the more mates for playing we would have. When the two incomers arrived, they were holding their hands, one girl and one boy. They looked like they were Fendrel's age and by the resemblance in their faces, I understood that these two new children were most likely siblings. They both had dark brown hair and poofy eyes. I pondered whether they lost their family too, just as Fendrel did, but before I could ask them anything, they were already walking away from us. I wanted to run away after them, but Fendrel stopped me, telling me something about giving them some time. I didn't quite understand what he meant back then, but I obeyed since he was older and smarter than me.

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Another two years passed without getting any new members. Since we were older now, Lady of the House provided a teacher for us. Naturally we had some basic teachings from the workers, but never a proper school with subjects and books. It was all quite new to me and since I was the youngest one, I had trouble understanding our new teacher. Luckily Fendrel caught quickly and always explained to me later everything I didn't understand. The two sibling kept mostly to themselves and barely talked to me and Fendrel. It took me weeks to even get their names out of them, but eventually the girl told me she was Lucinda and her brother was named Sandor. I didn't mind the cold shoulder though, they didn't seem that interesting to talk to nevertheless.

Few weeks after our new schooling system started, we had a new member joining us. She was a year older than me and was called Marissa. It was the first time in my life that I've seen a child so neat and well-dressed, as if she came from a different world, where everything was perfect. I didn't really talk to her, she was a girl after all, but Lucinda seemed to be glad that she had another girl to talk to and not long later, Marissa was where Lucinda was. Even though I didn't care about them, I felt a pang of envy whenever I saw them. How come this girl just comes in and she is just immediately accepted? It took Lucinda weeks to even say hello to me at breakfast when she and her brother first came in.

Things were quiet after Marissa came and nothing interesting happened for a while. We had our usual breakfast, went to the classroom and studied for three hours, then we had our lunch and then we were basically free to do whatever we chose to do. I usually went on adventures with Fendrel, where we tried to discover new places around the house, but usually whenever we found some undiscovered room it was locked and out of our reach.

Then suddenly we had another girl joining us. I met her first in the classroom, when she sat far away from all of us. She had this dark expression on her face, as if she knew something that was oblivious to the rest of us. She looked older, but as I found out few days later, she was the same age as Marissa. I didn't even get to learn her first name, because the first thing she ever said was the name of her district and her surname. District 12, Ester. I didn't know much about Districts, since the Oxtroff Centre has been my home since forever, but Fendrel who was from 7 taught me a thing or two. Apparently there were twelve districts and each specified in a different field. He told me that I must be from a District too, because I don't look like a Capitol kid, though I had no idea what District I could possibly be from. When I tried to ask anyone about it, they merely ignored me as if I hadn't said anything.

I expected the new girl to be quiet and distant as everyone was after they'd arrived, but surprisingly she was very vocal. She was constantly asking questions during lectures, even though she knew the answer, just to see what the teacher would say. I found it intriguing and immature at the same time, but I didn't dare to say anything to her.

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A year had passed and things were more dynamic at our place. We were slowly getting to know each other and even though we divided ourselves into small groups, we interacted with each other more. Lucinda was spending lot of time with Marissa, much to her brother's displeasure who didn't seemed to like the small blonde. Sometimes I felt bad for Lucinda, for having to choose between her best friend and brother, but she never seemed to complain.

I on the other hand hung around Fendrel as always, though now our duo was made into trio, as Sarah Ester, the girl from twelve who joined over a year ago, joined our humble club. She was surprisingly cool for a girl. She even went on our adventures and never complained. Sometimes I had the feeling that she enjoyed our adventures around the Centre even more than we did.

That year we were joined by yet another girl. I was quite disappointed, because I hoped it would be a boy for a change. The girl was eight years old and called Vandala. Apparently she was from District 9 and when she arrived she had to be held back by two adults. She looked like a feisty wild animal and that is how she remained. She was unpleasant and barked at anyone who tried to talk to her, even when they only tried to help. The only person I've seen her exchange a few words with without growling at them was Sarah.

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Nothing much changed through the one year. The friendships stayed the same, the lectures were still boring and the halls were still freezing cold. However after that one year, we had another recruits. Three of them, to be precise.

The first one was William Attano. He was a year younger than me and as the teacher explained to us, he was deaf and mute, therefore he was unable to communicate with us. Not that he wanted to, even when we tried to create some sort of sign language, he ignored our attempts. Eventually everyone gave up on trying to talk to him.

The next was a girl who came shortly after William. Her name was Jill and she was quite fun to be around. She always knew what kind of jokes to crack to lighten up the mood and she always tried to play some sort of prank during the class. Everyone seemed to quickly like her, including me. Even William didn't push her away when she tried to cheer him up by drawing funny caricatures of other people. Now that I look back at it, it's strange how she seemed so joyful, even after everything that had happened to her before she came to Oxtroff. But that is a story for another time.

The last one was Heath Podmore. Apparently he was suffering from hallucinations and his family couldn't afford medical care, so they signed him up for Oxtroff. Originally, when we were told a person like that was joining us, we expected some sort of lunatic, who would be talking to himself and endangering others. However, Heath was none of that. He was a regular boy, who liked attention even though attention didn't like him. He tried too hard and in the end he came out as a douchebag. I remember not liking him because he was always trying to gossip about others. He probably thought it was funny, but it really was not.

We continued like this for another couple of months. We had our lessons and our free time, though we were getting less and less of the latter. The Centre felt claustrophobic and I was glad that we were allowed to go outside as we liked. Though we were forbidden to go behind the fence (not like we were able to), we still had enough space for running and playing various games. All of us were children, some bit younger, some bit older, but in the end there was peace in our community. Things were great.

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As we grew older, we noticed our environment more. We noticed how the workers behave and we were unable to hear the rumours. Rumours about each and every one of us. Most of them were about what a dirt to society we are and I didn't understand why ever would they say such things. Fendrel explained to me that they were from Capitol and that generally Capitolans look down at District people. And we were all district kids. With that I decided to ignore the heinous whispers. Why should I care what they are saying, after all?

However, as much as I wanted, one rumour couldn't escape my ears. It was about Jill and since I considered the girl to be a friend of mine, I did what I swore I'd never do again. I listened to them.

The conversation started more or less generally, saying how she is a nutcase. I didn't know what that word meant, but by their facial expressions I realized it was nothing positive. Anger started flowing through my veins. How dare they say anything bad about Jill? She was always kind to everyone without ever being boring. If I had been a less of a coward, maybe I would have said something in her defence and stop them in their terrible talks. However, I kept quiet and listened further what they were saying to each other. Even though eavesdropping was never my thing, somehow I managed to stay quiet and unnoticed.

I was intrigued when they started talking about Jill's family. She never talked about them and avoided the subject when someone started talking about it. Naturally we respected her privacy and didn't press the issue, however now that I had the opportunity to know more, I knew I had to take it.

"Entire family dead. Not a single thing left besides their burnt bodies."

"And the girl was the sole survivor?"

"Well obviously when she was the one who started the fire."

My mouth dropped open in shock and I had to lean against the wall for support. Jill. My friend Jill who always could cheer everyone up, my friend Jill was an arsonist. I didn't know what to do. Was I supposed to tell the others? Was I supposed to confront her? Or should I just let it be? After all, it may just be a stupid rumour.

I went to bed that day, avoiding Jill and everyone else, because I didn't trust myself not to say anything out loud. I was a child who knew crime only from textbooks and now one of my friends was accused of one. It was all confusing to me and it kept me awake for most of the time during night.

After less than three hours of sleep I was woken up by Fendrel, telling me I missed breakfast and that he had been trying to wake me up for an hour. I sleepily got out of the bed, dressed myself and quickly ate the donut that Fendrel saved me before going to the class. Our classroom was moved to a different room, since there were more of us and we were all sitting behind desks that were formed in the shape of U. Usually Fendrel sat between me and Jill, but today Fendrel was on cleaning duty and therefore a bit late to the class.

I could see Jill's questioning look, but I didn't turn my head to face her. She asked me what was going on. I didn't answer.

Now that I look back at it, I was being petty and instead of talking to her, I decided to ignore and in the process I lost her. But I was a child and I had a child's mind that didn't know how to handle the situation.

Days went by and I stopped talking to Jill completely. She stopped trying to talk to me too. We still had common friends such as Fendrel and Sarah, who often wondered what had happened, but neither of us wanted to give an answer. After all, even if Jill wanted to, she couldn't give an answer because she didn't know what the reason behind my behaviour was.

That year we had another incomer, Anthony. Apparently he was from District 1, just as Marissa and quickly seemed to get on with her. Well, frankly, Anthony seemed to get along with everyone. He was the sporty type and often indulged himself in various games outside. He even invited the less athletic kids to join him, because he didn't want to exclude anyone. I liked Anthony too, because he always gave me his pudding whenever I slept in and missed the time when the lunch lady was giving them out.

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Two girls arrived that year. Margaret Ameen and Alessa Moscow. They were from different districts, yet they came in approximately at the same time.

Margaret was the sooner one, 9 years old just like me, with thick dark brown hair and loud attitude. When I first saw her, I knew she would fit in. She seemed like she wasn't willing to take crap from anyone and that was much needed in this environment.

Few days later arrived Alessa Moscow. The name that marked the lives of most of us. She was a tall tanned girl with raven hair and smiling lips. She had an extroverted personality and warmed herself into most of our hearts. Whenever someone was sitting alone, she sat next to him. When she noticed that Will was mute and deaf, she learned quickly sign language and quickly became one of his first friends. When everyone was tired and no one wanted to go out and play with Anthony anymore, she was the one to volunteer to play with him. People liked Alessa. Or so it seemed.

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Things changed.

We were now obliged to have school hours before and after lunch as well. According to our academic achievements we were allowed only certain amount of free time. I was an average student, but I had the habit of sleeping in and because of that I had to do some extra hours after the classes. They called it detention. It angered me because whereas my grades weren't as bad, I had less free time than some of the kids who were barely passing the classes. Because of that I didn't get to hang out with Fendrel as much anymore. He was one of the best students and had quite a lot of time to himself, but I wasn't able to join him during his free time. If I hadn't shared a room with him, I probably wouldn't have had the time to talk to him at all. At least Sarah sometimes served detention with me, so I got to talk to her.

Other friendships changed too. Jill stopped hanging around anymore and instead found a friend in Margaret. Anthony seemed to take interest in Marissa and spent most of his time around her and Lucinda. And Alessa who was formerly one of the most popular kids when she arrived, had no one to talk to, besides William. I didn't read much into it back then, friendships change, why should I be concerned. After all, I lost a friend too.

We had another girl joining us, called Alianor, but I didn't pay her much attention. Just another kid in this freak house. I had my own school troubles to tend to and things were just hectic for me back then. I didn't have time to focus on everyone and I didn't particularly care.

Back then I thought those were the dark times. I couldn't have been more wrong.