It is not good to be assaulted by a human. It is not good to be assaulted by an animal. But it really is not good to be assaulted by a floating present box tied to a balloon. How does one defeat such a powerful enemy? A high class slingshot can do the trick! Unfortunately, the person being physically attacked by the balloon present terror combo did not, in fact, have a slingshot. He only had his brain power to stop this evil creature. That guy, was Harry. The balloon present kept bumping into him due to the wind pushing the present forward. Harry freaked out. "THIS THING WON'T STOP BUMPING INTO MEH!" he shouted with all his might, hoping one of the nearby residents will come to the rescue. The balloon present wouldn't stop! It just kept on blowing into him like so. Just when all hope was lost, the balloon attached with the present suddenly popped! The present that was attached now fell to the ground, where it remained motionless. Harry immediately turned around. There, glowing in the sunlight, stood a dark blue alligator with the bottom portion of his jaw red as well as his belly. He looked very angry due to his eyes being half open. In his right hand, stroking a very 'heroic' pose, was a bright silver slingshot that was used to pop the balloon. Harry looked at him, amazed. The alligator glanced at him. "Why are you staring at me so weirdly?" he grunted. "I just 'saved' you, so the least you could do is stop looking at me like you want to invite me into your house then cook me up for thanksgiving, you weirdo…" The alligator began to walk away. "Wait! Stop!" Harry chased after him. The alligator grunted. "What was that… balloon thing?" The alligator stopped in his tracks. "That balloon thing was nothing but a harmless gift wrapped up in a decently nice bow, being delivered by a balloon." the alligator groaned, a bit annoyed. "Ever heard of air mail? Oh wait, probably not. You're our NEW mayor. Well whoop-de-do…" The alligator did arm motions, pretending to be enthused. "Well thanks for saving me alligator…" Harry said, as he got a closer look at him. He suddenly remembered something. "...who broke our CAT MACHINE!" Harry then got a disappointed look on his face. "HEY!" the alligator shouted. "It's YOUR job as mayor to insure that all mechanical devices are properly functioning! Besides, I've got coupons for days!" "Well, fair enough." Harry shrugged. "So… um…" "Del, gronk." the alligator known as Del grumbled. "Yes, Del!" Harry said, pointing to Del. "You don't even KNOW all of your residents names?" Del said in an angered tone. "What kind of mayor did they hire?" "Listen Del…" Harry began. "I don't know why this town has such a strange air mail system, but I thank you for… um… 'saving' me back there…" "Sure, whatever." Del snarked. "I'm happy to take down any of those god forsaken balloon things whenever I have the chance… they come from over that cliff over there." Del pointed to the cliff at the far right of the town that bordered the village area from the train tracks to the beach. "They keep on getting in the way of my subsistence living!" Harry paused. "What is this… 'subsistence living' you speak of?" he asked. Del grumbled. "I grow my own food for me, myself and I!" he shouted. "But these floating square crap boxes keep interfering! One time I got so distracted by one, I accidentally chopped one of my plants! What a stupid system. But as mayor, I'm sure you can put a halt to all that, right? I did just… 'save' you anyway…" Harry was very confused. "Well, I'm sure Isabelle can tell me." Harry said in a quiet voice. Del glared at him funny. "But I'll let you know tomorrow! Bye!" Harry began sprinting towards town hall. "Tomorrow?" Del crossed his arms. "I can't wait that long." An evil grin began forming on his face. Del snuck over to his house. He opened the door, glanced around quickly, then shut it. He sneaked back to his house, beginning to chuckle. He opened his door, glanced around, then shut it tight. He ran to his cordless home phone and called up Super T&T. "Hello Timmy?" He snickered. "I'd like to place an order."
Harry knocked on Del's the next morning. His clothes were all messed up, as well as his hair. He had suffered another terrorist attack from a 5 by 5 floating cube. "Del!" he cried, still knocking on his door. Del opened the door and Harry accidentally pounded on Del's face a couple of times. After realizing his mistake, he immediately stopped. "What. Do. You. Want." Del snarled. "Well Del… heh heh… it rhymes…" Harry chuckled. Del looked unamused. "Er, yes, well, according to federal law official confirmation declaration book, in section 43, paragraph 18, it states that 'removal of mail functions, on air or land, is strictly prohibited unless a war is declared on the issue.'" Del looked at Harry like he just said he was going to eat 12 hotdogs in under 13½ seconds. "So… please don't start a civil war." "Why would I?" Del groaned. He was clearly upset that federal government restrictions had beaten him again. "But I think I've come to my senses about the whole 'removal of floating packages.' The future is now, am I right?" Del attempted to grin. It failed miserably. "Well that's good!" Harry smiled. "If there is anything else I can help make the town a better place, let me know!" Harry smiled, then walked away. "For starters, add a library…" Del grumbled to himself. "Oh! And an apple crumble store! I love me some apple crumble."
"Did you get that sweet headband I sent you using air packaging?" an over excited Rocket mentioned to Chevre, who was watering some plants. "Um… n-not really…" Chevre replied, continuing to water her flowers. "I don't really… um… like headbands." "EVERYONE loves headbands!" Rocket cried, doing a fist pump. "Did you know the beginning of headbands was no later than around 475 BC to 330 BC, with the ancient Greeks, who wore hair wreaths. The Greeks and Romans wore these pieces for very special occasions or an important event. Cultures such as the Etruscans and Romans started to decorate their wreaths with jewels made up of gold and silver. While wreaths are certainly a likely beginning of today's headbands, some believe that current day hair bands have slowly taken shape from scarves that were worn around the head or were modified from the band of hats that tied under the chin." Chevre stopped watering her flowers and looked at her in confusion. "T-that was the longest fact I have ever heard." she said, shaking her head. "So it didn't come eh?" Rocket said in disappointment. "Time to complain…" Rocket dashed all the way to town hall. She burst open the door. "Mayor Harry!" she announced. "I'm suing you!" Harry, sitting at his front desk, looked up from his book, then back down. "Well according to federal law official confirmation declaration book, in section 14, paragraph 31, it states that-" "Since when did you care about rules?" Rocket snarked. "Anyway, my balloon package never arrived. It's been missing." "Was someone physically assaulted by it?" Harry asked. "I don't know, but I think maybe someone stopped it from coming." "Stopped it from coming huh?" Harry thought as he leaned back in his black leather mayor chair. "Who do we know that hates balloon presents?" Isabelle suddenly walked through the front door. "I got your coffee mayor!" she cheerfully announced. "Isabelle…" Harry began. "Did you build a huge wall on the cliff to stop the balloon presents from coming into the village?" Isabelle looked at Harry funny. "I don't think anyone would." she chuckled. "Hmmm… you're right…" Harry rubbed his chin. "Let me go ask Del if he has anything to relate to this topic at hand." Harry got up from his chair and walked out of the office. Isabelle checked if he was gone and pounced on the chair. "Don't tell Harry…" Isabelle whispered to Rocket. "...But I adore this chair!" Isabelle began to sink into the leathery chair, a happy smile appeared on her face as she closed her eyes. Rocket looked at her funny. "Sure…" she shrugged.
"YOU BUILT A HUGE WALL ON THE CLIFF TO STOP THE BALLOON PRESENTS FROM COMING INTO THE VILLAGE!?" Harry shouted at Del. Del looked at him like it was no big deal. "How the hell did you not notice the giant shadow casting over the side of the cliff?" snapped Del who was busy adding soil to his plants in his backyard. "Why man? Why?" Harry asked, all depressed. "Because!" Del screamed. "They are a poor excuse for 'instant mail.' Sure, they get to houses faster and more efficiently, but they are so DISTRACTING!" Del began to water his plants. "Yes, but now a whole bunch of presents are trapped behind that wall!" Harry said, trying to reason with him. "Well it's not my problem now. I've wasted all my bells on buying bricks, so I'm really the one who suffered." Del finished watering his plants, and pointed a finger to signal Harry to leave. Harry "humphed" and casually walked away. "I'll show Del…" Harry groaned. "I'll be breaking a federal law official confirmation declaration book rule in section 75, paragraph 39, but if it's to save all the mail in this town, thus that be the case!" Harry ran all the way to the town square, where he entered the Super T&T store. A tiny tanuki wearing a store uniform and matching hat approached him. "Welcome back to Super T&T, can I help you today? Yes?" the tanuki asked. "Yes you can… Timmy" Harry said, reading the name card on the tanuki's store uniform. "Does this store have the legal rights to sell me explosives?" Harry looked around the room, trying to act unsuspicious. Timmy grinned. "Only those who have a permit may only…" he said. "But for our mayor, anything is allowed! Yes, anything!" "Well let's see what you got." grinned Harry. The two began to burst into an evil laughter. It wasn't long before Timmy began choking on his own saliva and Harry had to perform C.P.R. But after that whole incident, Timmy led Harry into the shady back of the store. "Come with me! Do come!" Timmy asked.
It was a silent evening, and no one was out and about. Just Del. Before heading off to bed that night, Del looked up at his creation. The wall, still blocking the balloon presents at the top of the cliff, looked like a piece of art to him, especially with the full moon reflecting off of it. He felt proud about wasting countless hours building something so dull. "You should've told me about this wall…" Harry said as he snuck up behind Del unnoticed. Del didn't get freaked out, he just sighed with annoyance. "...Otherwise I wouldn't of spent all that money sending gifts to everyone." Del laughed an evil laugh. "Sorry bud, sucks to be you." he smiled. "Why do you seem so grumpy all the time?" Harry asked. Del shrugged. "I dunno, but these balloon present things may have something to do with it." Del said, shrugging. The two sat quietly in the night, the moon shining down on them. The only sound being heard was from the nearby river. And then it happened. It probably woke everyone up. It probably shook the nation, but it happened. The wall blew up into a million pieces! Chunks of brick flew all around the cliff. Burning flames of orange yellow and red emerged. Harry ducked down and put his hand on Del's head to push him down to avoid the flying chunks. One huge chunk landed on a nearby tree, just barely hitting Harry. The tree exploded. After all the smoke cleared and the rubble stopped falling, Harry and Del stood up. Del looked at the wall in shock. He stood there shaking for a bit before asking Harry, "What did you put in those presents?" "A couple of C-4 bomb units. Why?" Harry replied in a smug tone. Del shot Harry an 'angry beyond compare' look. Then he just stared at the ground and sighed. "All I wanted was those things to stop distracting me..." he moaned. Even though Harry knew Del was acting like a jerk for this entire situation, he felt sorry for him. "Well how about this?" Harry said sympathetically, as he put his hand on Del's shoulder. Del was annoyed by this movement. "I could make it so these balloon presents don't pass by your house." Del grunted. Then snorted. Then sighed. "You can't stop them, period?" Del said. Harry shook his head. "...Well I suppose that'll do…" Del shook Harry's hand. "I've learned my lesson: never mess around with the federal mail system…" "And I've learned that blowing things up solves a good portion of life's problems." Harry said, kicking some of the remaining brick rubble. "Tomorrow morning, I'll make sure no balloon packages assault your garden." "And I guess I'll clean up the wall ruble." Del smirked. "Goodnight, mayor Harry. I'm kinda glad you're our mayor…" Del let the shining moonlight guide him back home. Harry smiled, then walked back to his sleeping bag. But he never made it to the sleeping bag. For he was once again attacked by a balloon present.
It is August 10, there is 1 more chaotic event until Harry makes a big mistake...