Disclaimer: I do not own this show. I am just having some fun with the characters.
Author's Note: This has spoilers for 4.21, so if you haven't saw that episode yet I suggest you don't read this story until you do. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Thank you! As a heads up, this story revolves around McRoll.
Aloha
"You just promise me…." Steve trailed off trying to cover the defeat and anxiety in his voice.
"I promise you, I'll be careful. I'll be careful." Catherine's emotions started to get the better of her. There was a silence just waiting to be broken by three words that neither Cath nor Steve ever had the guts to say aloud.
Steve took a moment before he spoke, almost contemplating whether to say it or not, but before he had time to over think his declaration, the words spilled out of his mouth. "I love you, you know." Steve's body tensed as he waited for a reply on the other end of that phone. There I said it. I could never live with myself if something happened to Cath and she didn't know how I much I cared about her. He had just put his heart on the line-in fear that he would never see Catherine again. Steve had needed to tell her how he felt or he would have regretted it for the rest of his life, and that was the last thing he wanted, more regrets….more demons to live with.
Catherine held the phone to her cheek after hearing those three words that were always between them, but never actually spoken. Did he just say what I think he said? She knew how hard it must have been for him to actually verbalize it. Steve had been heartbroken so many times that she thought he may have been too emotionally damaged to open his heart to her, let alone actually express how he felt. Relief and sadness washed over her as she closed her eyes and paused for a moment-letting his words echo through her brain. I love you, you know. Catherine just barely shook her head in disbelief as she tightened her lips like she was trying to keep in the words she had been holding on to for so long. Until finally, as tears welled in her eyes, Catherine let her emotions take control of her for a brief second.
"I love you, too," she expressed with a hint of a smile on her lips, and sorrow radiating from her eyes. This was a bittersweet moment for both of them.
Steve nodded his head reaffirming what Catherine had just said to him. He quickly spoke not leaving any room for elaboration. So, with his eyes red from crying, and face battered from a near death experience, Steve stated "Alright, good luck, Cath."
"Thanks," Catherine paused trying to think of the next words to say, but nothing else would be more significant than the "I love you's" they just exchanged, so she just said, "Aloha."
"Aloha," Steve replied as he took a big gulp to choke back more tears. His brow was furrowed in pain and his lips pursed together tight as this last word slipped between his lips. Steve had faced terrorists, lost friends and family members, been shot, but nothing had ever been as painful as the thought of never seeing the woman he loves ever again.
Catherine hung up the phone and placed her hand over her mouth reliving the life-changing conversation she just had. However, this was something she needed to do and she would have never forgiven herself for not following her gut. Even though this was the right thing to do Catherine couldn't help but feel a huge knot in her stomach developing as she walked away, and drove off on her motorcycle to ultimately "save the day." She knew Steve must have to be hurting especially after finally letting his words mimic his actions, but this needed to be done. I have to save this boy like his family saved me.
After Steve hung up the phone, he lowered his head in sorrow, and then let his phone fall limp into his hand. Steve was just "still," not wanting to believe what happened. The woman I love is half way around the world and there is nothing I can do to make her come back. She's just so damn stubborn. The sadness surged through his body as he thought about Catherine, which caused his mind to wander to dark places. I watched my friend die, heard my father's death over the phone, and my mother practically came back from the dead, but I have never lost someone I was "in love" with. I guess I had never let myself love like that before, until I met Catherine. The grief he was feeling overwhelmed his senses-the tears in his eyes rolled over onto his cheeks, the dryness in his mouth entered his throat, and the throbbing pain in his head settled around his temples. Steve had never opened his heart in fear of rejection and when he finally did, it was to a woman just as determined as him, who was going to chase after the Taliban to save a little boy. He was so emotionally drained that he forgot how to move, so he spent the rest of the night, in his recliner, wrestling with sleep.
*Two Months Later*
It had been the most miserable two months of his life. Catherine was alone in Afghanistan playing Superwoman. Steve didn't really have a right to judge, though, since he would have done the same thing. However, that hadn't made the months any less treacherous. Steve hadn't been able to sleep (even more so than before), and at work he found his mind wandering more often than not. It frightened him to be this vulnerable, a few months ago, and even now. He prided himself on being this unbreakable Navy Seal, but Catherine leaving had finally "broke" him.
It was his first night off in a long time, but Steve just couldn't allow his body to relax. Before he knew it, it was 2 o'clock in the morning and he was wide awake. His head was still whirling with thoughts of Catherine as he lied in bed staring at the ceiling. Steve closed his eyes, and let images of Cath- tangled in his sheets as her hair splayed across the pillows-wash over him.
Mmmm…morning, Lieutenant.
Mmmm…morning, Commander.
*Steve and Catherine were nose to nose*
You know, I think I owe you dinner.
Yeah, somehow, we just never…quite…make…it to dinner.
We had dinner in Coronado.
No, we had reservations.
We both have the day off today. We could have breakfast on the beach.
*Catherine wrapped her legs around Steve as they rocked together with their faces merely inches away from each other.*
Ooooorrr….
Ooooorrr, uhhhh…. *Gazing into each other's eyes-Steve captured Catherine's lips.*
I think I'm vibrating. *Steve grinned before he ravaged her neck with his mouth.* No, I think I am actually vibrating.*Shows Steve his phone.* It WAS your day off.
Steve remembered the immense joy he felt as he held her in his arms letting the smell of her hair intrude his nostrils, and the sweet taste of her skin sink into his lips. Catherine I miss you. Please come back to me in one piece. Steve lied in his bed all alone wishing he had someone to press his body against. He just wanted to smell her flowery scent again, be close with her one more time, and run his hand through her beautiful black hair. However, at this point, those thoughts seemed too far out of reach. Steve rolled over and finally fell asleep because he was not able to bear his own thoughts anymore. Sleep didn't help-all he could hear was her voice over the phone I can't come back until I find him…..it's better for me to do this alone. Those words had hit him like a freight train. His had heart literally hurt, even though he did understand why she needed to do that, but it didn't make it any easier.
Suddenly he was jolted awake by the creek of his door and unexpected feeling of warmth radiating next to him. Is this a dream? Do I want Catherine back so badly that I am imagining she is lying next to me? Steve sluggishly turned over, prepared for disappointed, only to be surprised by Catherine's smiling face.
"Hey, Sailor. You didn't think I would be gone forever? Did you?"
"Catherine? Tell me it's really you. Tell me you're really here next to me."
"Yes, it's me, babe," Catherine tenderly said as she placed a hand on the side of Steve's sleep deprived face," "We got Najib back safe and sound to his family."
"That's great. I didn't think you would ever come back."
"Well, I told you I would come back once I found him, so here I am."
"Here you are," Steve whispered as he softly caressed Catherine's cheek bone with his thumb, "Come here." He pulled her into a tight embrace as tears welled in both of their eyes.
Catherine leaned into Steve's hold as he tightened his grip. They stayed that way for a while just taking in the familiarity of each other's body's.
"Steve?"
"Yes?"
"I'll always come back to you. I love you, you know."
Steve smiled at the exact utterance of his words just two months ago.
"Good, because I love you so much Cath. More than you could ever imagine." Catherine's face lit up at his sentiment.
"I think I may have some sort of idea," Catherine giggled positioning her eyes toward Steve's shorts.
"Oh," Steve blushed in embarrassment.
"Don't worry, we'll get to that eventually," Catherine teased.
"I've missed you, some part more than others" Steve said with a smile that was on the edge of laughter.
"Missed you too, some of your parts more than others," Catherine broke into hysterics.
"Oh, really?" Steve declared as he flipped Catherine onto her back and climbed on top of her.
"Whataya waiting for Commander? Kiss me already!"
"Your wish is my command." Steve quickly pressed his lips to Catherine's wishing this moment could last forever.
