Memories. My memories. I could never remember my past life. They were always in front of me, always there, yet simply out of reach. Every time I lunged, thinking I'd succeed, they dance away, taunting me.

Every day I run in the Maze, mapping the movements. We Runners never come up with anything. I'm bloody tired of it. It's stupid. We're never going to get out.

I want to remember so badly. But it feels like someone shucking wiped out my memories, brainwashed me.

The Box delivers materials every week, and greenies per month, without fail. We've tried everything: From staying in the Box to jumping right down the bloody hole. (The latter ended up with gruesome results.) Nothing worked.

I don't want to give up. But it's the last straw for me. I'm done with the confusion. The hopelessness. The fear of being stuck in the Maze, never to see daylight again, trapped in the maw of the Grievers.

I put aside my concerns and my fear. I put aside Minho and Alby, always my friends till the end. I put aside my responsibilities. And climbed.

I clutched the ivy on the walls of the Maze, struggling up bit by bit. It's too tall. I stopped when I wanted to, and looked down. I was so bloody high up. For a moment, I thought if I could climb higher and reached the top, I'd see the Maze from the highest point, and crack the puzzle for once and for all. I craned my neck upwards. The ivy never reached the top.

Hopelessness washed over me once more. The Runners had spent so long, comparing the maps of the Maze. If nothing came to sense, it's hopeless.

Life isn't fair. I closed my eyes, yelled out a string of words that could be compared to Minho's language, and let go. Wind whistled past me as I fell. I braced myself for compact. It came. But along with pain.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. I'm supposed to die, for the bloody love of God! I curled up with agony on the cold, hard, ground, pain racking my body.

My leg was burning. I felt tears spill from my eyes. I'm never gonna run again. I thought. Then, Good riddance.

Hurried footsteps raced closer to me. 'Newt.' Alby whispered, but not before gasping. 'I bloody shucked it all up.' I groaned. I could see the hurt, disappointment and sadness in his gaze. He knew what I had done.

Alby slung me gingerly over his shoulder, running at full speed towards the Glade. Every bump and jolt shook me, causing pain to run wild. I heard Alby reach the Glade, yelling for the med-jacks, before slowly losing consciousness, and fade into black.

I awoke in the Homestead, my whole body aching. I could tell it was day once more from the sunlight slanting in through the windows. I lived. I lived. I was supposed to feel happy, but I didn't. My whole plan failed miserably. I didn't expect to feel the bloody pain. I was supposed to die! The door squeaked as it was pushed open. It was Alby and Minho.

I closed my eyes in defeat. The bed shifted a bit as Minho sat down on it, next to me. Alby was, presumably, sitting on a chair. Neither of us said anything for a while.

'I'm sorry.' I whispered, feeling tears running down my face again. 'Why?' Minho asked me, his voice barely audible. I could feel the hurt. And I hated it, because it was me, me, who brought him this.

'Why?' His voice raised. 'Why did you shucking do such a shucking idiotic thing? I thought you were shucking supposed to be smart!' He yelled. Alby shushed him and turned to me. 'The med-jacks said your leg would heal, but you won't be able to run anymore.'

'Good riddance.' I mumbled. 'What?' Minho exclaimed. 'I need to get away from that bloody Maze.' I whispered, opening my eyes. 'That's why I jumped.'

Alby patted my shoulder, his eyes betraying his emotions although his face was as stoic as ever. 'I need a good advisor like you. Please, after Martin's gone... I need your help.' He cracked a smile at me.

I groaned. 'Can't. Won't. I'm not going to bloody interfere in the Glade and Maze business anymore.' 'Please, Newt. I seriously need your help.' Alby shook his head.

Minho nodded, agreeing with Alby. 'You've got it in ya. The Gladers need it.' We locked gazes. His, was pleading. Sad. Mine was firm, I think. But not for long. 'Yeah. I'm more intelligent than any lovin' one of you.' I grinned. Alby smiled, 'A deal's a deal then. Once you're up and moving, you're the second in command.'

'I can't wait.' I muttered sarcastically. There was a long pause. Then we all laughed. Maybe, I thought, Just maybe, it won't be so bad after all.

A/N: Well, just for your information, I set the first-in-command before Alby's name as Martin. I couldn't find a name in the Wikias or anything. That's just a name that popped into my mind first, no offence to all those Martins out there. You can say that guy's gone crazy in the story. It's all up to you, where he went and what happened to him.

Hope you guys enjoyed the story. Constructive criticism is welcome, as usual.

19/4/2017 Update: I've changed the person who got Newt out of the maze from Minho to Alby because I re-read the books, and it's canon that Alby saved Newt.