Title: Always Listen to Your Shoes
Author: sapphire17
Pairings: Hiro/Ando, a little Peter/Sylar, Matt/Mohinder, and Adam/Nathan (I know, WTF at that last one!), and one line of implied Peter/Nathan.
Characters: Hiro Nakamura, Ando Masahashi, Peter Petrelli, Sylar/Gabriel Gray, Matt Parkman, Mohinder Suresh, Nathan Petrelli, Adam Monroe
Rating: PG-13, maybe M15...
Summary: Ando accidentally supercharges Hiro, and they end up in Amsterdam, 1967, at a psychedelics party... After a few shrooms, Hiro's shoes convince him to confess his feelings to Ando.
Warnings: Drug use, alcohol use, language
Spoilers: Up to 'Once Upon a Time In Texas'
Prompt: Written for the intoxication prompt "Hiro/Ando, psychedelics" at comment_fic on livejournal.
A/N: ...Don't ask. I saw the prompt, and HAD to write it, even though I have NO clue what shrooms actually do to you! (Never tried um', thank God, though I knew some peeps in college who did...) Well, this is only my second Hando fic, so forgive me if it sucks. :( Anyway, hope you may enjoy it just a little, as CRAZY as it is...
Always Listen to Your Shoes
"Where are you, Ando?"
Hiro Nakamura repeated this same sentence to himself, a-gain, getting on the computer that was located within his and Ando's secret lair.
He used Ando's GPS implant to track him down, only to find out that...
"Oh Ando-kun, not again..."
Sure enough, Ando Masahashi was back at the strip club...
Ando was supposed to be using his ability to fight for the fate of the world, not to pick up girls.
Topless girls.
If they even had that much on...
Hiro shuttered.
Ando may have been his best-friend, but he was also a porn-addict, a ladies' man, a compulsive gambler, a sex-fiend, and often a drunk, especially when he went to bars or strip clubs.
"Any minute now," Hiro sighed, "Five, four, three, two..."
His cell-phone rang, playing the song 'Lonely in Gorgeous' by TommyFebruary6.
Hiro hit the 'talk' button, and brought it to his ear.
"Ando?"
"Well hey there Hiro what's up I'm havin' a great time why don't you get down here and get busy with everyone I'm having a great time why don't you get down here and get busy with everyone!"
Hiro sighed. "You're drunk, Ando."
"Yes I am and I need YOU to come and get me. The Ando-Cycle is being terribly neglected."
"Alright, Ando, I'm on my way," Hiro sighed again, "See you in a second."
And with that said, Hiro teleported into the strip club.
Hiro was instantaneously greeted by the obnoxiously loud music, pounding into his ears. Hiro fought the urge to cover his eyes as he walked past the stage, where a young Asian woman in a cowboy hat was doing a topless dance to some American, country western song that Hiro had never heard before. It was in all actuality 'Down Under' by Men at Work.
She also had a whip.
Well...
Hiro's eyes ran around the club, until finally, he spotted his best-friend in the corner booth, over on the stage's right-hand side.
Hiro sighed again.
Ando was getting a topless lap-dance from two—no—three strippers.
Hiro could only sigh again.
Kimiko would NOT LIKE THIS...
Like Hiro would tell her, though, after he had gone through all that trouble to fix the past just so Ando wouldn't spill his slushy on her.
Hiro straightened out his shirt, and with a stern face, went over and casually sat down in the booth across from Ando, completely ignoring the strippers.
Ando didn't acknowledge Hiro's presence until the song had ended, and his lap dances were over.
Thank God.
"Hiro!" Ando suddenly exclaimed, "So good to see you!"
"Alright Ando, you've had your fun, now, let's go," Hiro replied with another sigh.
"Just let me finish my Hypnotic, and then we'll go, kay?" Ando remarked, signaling a topless waitress who was wearing a red corset, red stockings, and black garters, "Get my friend here a beer."
"Root," Hiro added on, "I don't drink alcohol."
"Spoilsport," Ando muttered with a laugh, "One of these days, I am going to get you good n' loaded. Yeah."
"In your dreams, Ando," Hiro replied with an eye-roll. Pretty soon, the young waitress arrived with Hiro's root beer, and set it down.
"Are you two together?" the waitress asked.
"Yes, I'm paying," Ando slurred, before he had another shot of imported vodka.
"And Dono Masahashi here would like to tab OUT now," Hiro added.
"Sure thing," the waitress responded, setting Ando's tab down on the table's smooth surface.
Ando had another shot, before another female dancer came and sat down in Ando's lap.
"Ando...!" Hiro angrily cursed, "Think about Kimiko...!"
"Who's that again...?" Ando inquired as the song 'DIVE' by BeForU began to play in Japanese.
"He's engaged," Hiro lashed out before the female stripper pouted, and danced off to entertain another drunken young Asian man.
Hiro took a final sip of his root beer, and as Ando was too drunk to even remove his wallet, Hiro could only sigh again as he swallowed his pride, a-gain, and paid the entire tab.
And, fuck, it was expensive.
"Alright Ando, we're leaving, and you're going straight to bed," Hiro scolded as he scooted closer in the booth to Ando, and touched his shoulder.
Ando laughed out loud, patting Hiro back on his own shoulder, before his hands filled with fluently red sparks of lightening.
"Ando!"
And just like that, they time-traveled.
***
Amsterdam, North Holland, 1967...
Hiro and Ando reappeared, where the hell, they did NOT know...
"Ando, where ARE we...?" Hiro mumbled, looking around at the large party that was going on. There were bonfires, tents, loud music, and a TON of people dressed like hippies in tie-dyed tees with peace symbols hanging on necklaces around their necks.
Almost ALL of them were also either drunk, or stoned.
Heavily.
A young man with long hair and corn rolls stumbled up to the bedazzled Asian's, and extended his hand.
"What the hell is you two wearing?" he asked, touching Hiro's white, button-down work shirt, "Anyways, you wanna hit this shit?"
Hiro looked down, and... yeah, saw a joint.
Hiro's eyes widened. "Uuh, no, thanks... No interested."
"Suit yourself, dude," the hippie said, turning as he walked away, screaming as he hopped up and down.
Damn he was high.
"Hiro, this looks like fun!" Ando exclaimed.
Hiro quickly shook his head. "No, Ando, we are teleporting straight back to Japan, and straight back to 2010."
Hiro once again touched Ando's shoulder, closed his eyes, and concentrated.
Only...
Nothing happened.
"What's wrong, Hiro?" Ando asked, "Are you powers gone again?"
Hiro sighed. "I think when you supercharged me with your crimson arc, that you put my powers into temporary overload. I think it may take a few hours before I'm able to get us out of here..."
"Well, awesome, we can enjoy the party! What year is it anyway? And where ARE we?"
"I don't know, but, I'm going to find out..."
Hiro walked up to a young couple next to a bonfire, a man and a woman, who were making out like woah.
"Excuse me. Um... excuse me. Hey."
"Let me try, Hiro," Ando drunkenly chuckled as he walked up to the couple, before red sparks appeared in his hands.
"Woah!" the young male said as he backed off, "I must be trippin' like hell on the MDMA!"
"Me too!" the woman added on, "That was so fucking hip."
"Yeah, I just wanted to ask you something," Ando responded.
"Sure," the young man responded, "Say what?"
"Where and when are we?"
The couple laughed.
"Dude, you are WASTED," the young man responded with a laugh, "I can totally tell. But, yeah, you two are in Amsterdam, Holland, and it's 1967. It's national marijuana day, dudes!"
"Oh great..." Hiro sighed, a-gain.
"My name's Josh, by the way, and this is my gal Shirley, Shirl for short. Why don't you two dudes come over to the fire with us and grab a bite to eat?"
"Okay," Ando replied, following the couple as he dragged a discontented Hiro along with him.
Josh handed Ando a beer, and then one to Hiro.
"Is it root?" Hiro asked.
"It's Bud," Josh responded.
Hiro frowned. "I think I'll just stick with the coke."
"Cool, you do coke? I'm sure I can find some here for ya'."
Hiro frowned, a-gain. "I meant coca-cola, Josh-san."
"Whatever," Josh laughed, tripping like crazy as he sat down on a log, next to Shirl. Hiro and Ando sat down next to them.
Then, Shirl passed a tray of mushrooms to Josh, who ate a couple, before Josh passed the tray to Hiro.
"Oh, mushrooms, I love them," Hiro thanked Josh, eating around four or five.
"Woah, that's a lot," Josh laughed, "You sure you can handle all that?"
"Why? They're just mushrooms."
"But they're 'magic', dude."
Hiro shrugged, not knowing what the hell Josh was talking about.
Ando took the tray, and popped several of the shrooms into his mouth, before Shirl then passed Josh a bowl with brownies on top of it. They each took a brownie a piece, before passing the plate to Hiro, who took one as well, and then, Ando did the same.
"This is excellent," Hiro said as he ate away at the brownie.
"Really is," Ando agreed.
Josh grinned.
Game on.
***
One Hour Later...
"So then Dono Arthur Petrelli-san like, STOLE all of my powers! In the past! But, then, baby-touch-and-go touched me, and made my powers go! Before long, I was able to teleport, time-travel, and stop time again, and I even went into the past and stopped badman from killing Charlie Andrews, but now, badman is back! His name is Sylar, but Peter Petrelli is FUCKING HIM, because I like, teleported into Peter Petrelli's apartment WHILE he was FUCKING Sylar, and they told me to get the FUCK out, but I couldn't, because Petrelli-san currently had The Haitian's power, so I had to walk out his front door and go into the streets before I teleported back to Japan and had nightmares about Peter Petrelli fucking Sylar ALL NIGHT LONG! I STILL have nightmares about it. Help me, please...!"
Gathered around the fire, everyone laughed.
"He is trippin' like crazy," some random man said, before he had another go at his beer. Then, Hiro drank some more whiskey and had a few more shrooms. "He actually thinks he can DO these things...? Damn, man."
Ando had another drink of Skyy, then another magic brownie, laughing up a storm as he said, "Hey, is there a hotel or motel around here?"
"Right down the street," Josh responded, "Come on, we'll drive you there."
"Alrighty," Hiro replied, gathering some of the shrooms, "I love mushrooms. And I love alcohol. I never knew what I had been missing, Ando."
"Told you so," Ando remarked with a heavy slur, "I feel so awesomeness right now."
"Is 'awesomeness' even a word...?"
"Yeah it is, Hiro," Ando chuckled, as he, Hiro, Josh, and Shirl headed across the park, over to the street where there was a van painted with flowers parked.
Josh got in the driver's seat, Shirl in the passenger's, and Hiro and Ando got in the back.
Then, the van was off.
Hiro looked out the window, where he soon saw a unicorn that was being ridden by Peter Petrelli and Sylar, and they were surrounded by rainbows.
"High ho silver, away!" Peter shouted, as Sylar held onto his waist from behind.
"Oh no! Peter Petrelli and badman are back!" Hiro shouted, "I don't want to see you two fucking anymore...! Please!"
"You must make peace with yourself, Hiro-chan, and follow the path of your destiny," Sylar said, before a pegasus flew down to the ground. This one had Mohinder Suresh sitting up front, in a straightjacket, while Matt Parkman was seated behind him wearing an astronaut suit.
"Listen to Sylar, Hiro," Mohinder said, laughing like a madman, "It's time, Hiro Nakamura. The age of the dawn has begun!"
Then, Matt and Mohinder began to make-out with one another.
"Oh my GOD!" Hiro shouted, gazing out the window, "Ando, are you seeing this?!"
"Seeing what?"
"Peter Petrelli, Sylar, Mohinder Suresh, and Matt Parkman! They're riding unicorns and pegagus' and are about to get it on in front of us, Ando! Oh my GOD!"
Ando shrugged, and popped another shroom into his mouth.
"Listen to your shoesies," Peter demanded, "Your shoes will explain everything to you."
"They will...?" Hiro inquired.
"Yeah," Peter answered.
Then, Nathan Petrelli magically appeared in a cloud. It was like something right out of 'The Lion King'. Nathan had angel's wings, and a halo.
He looked hot, too.
"Flying man!" Hiro shouted.
"I'm dead, Hiro," Nathan spoke with his arms extended, "Come give flying man a hug."
Hiro pressed the palms of his hands up against the glass. "I'd like to! But what do you mean you're dead, flying man?"
"Sylar killed me, and now, my little bro is fucking my killer," Nathan sighed.
"But we are the moon and the stars," Peter replied as the unicorn's horn lit-up, "Day and night, yin and yang, black and white, right and wrong, good and evil, and all that shit. And, I'm only using him for sex. He's better in bed than you were, Nate."
"Hey, FUCK YOU PETE," Nathan shouted, before another figure appeared.
This time, it was Adam Monroe, with a pair of devil's wings sprouting from behind his back and a set of horns on his head.
"MWAHAHAHA! Hello carp! Check THIS out!" Adam said, before he and Nathan began making out.
"OH GOD MAKE IT STOP!" Hiro pleaded, covering his eyes.
"Dude, what's your problem?" Josh asked.
"Flying man and Adam Monroe are making out!"
Josh looked out the window, seeing nothing but a bunch of trees.
"Sure, man..."
"Oh God Nathan, you are fucked," Peter sighed, "And hey, Adam, how's it down in Hell?"
Adam broke away from Nathan, and smiled. "It's pretty awesome actually. We had a Luau yesterday, and I smoked some crack."
"Peter, we need to get going, before the musicals talk about the pink glasses with the jellyfish swimming in them while playing Rock Band," Sylar stated.
"Shut up, bitch," Peter barked, "I'm the one riding the speakers here!"
"And the Pepsi is pretty for the seaside," Mohinder stated as Matt groped him, "Long live the king!"
"It's time for the cabinet and the holy water now," Matt stated.
And, fuck, Hiro was SO FUCKING CONFUSED.
And so, Hiro ate another shroom, before he drank some more of the beer he was holding.
"It's all about the littles and the aspirin," Peter stated, nodding his head, "Just don't forget your shoes, Hiro Nakamura. You shoes will guide you to your true path. Do you understand me?"
"Yes! My shoes!" Hiro agreed.
"Well, we're off to Greenland now!" Peter yelled, before he and Sylar galloped away.
Matt and Mohinder then flew off, waving goodbye, before Nathan flew back to Heaven and Adam flew down to Hell.
"Woah..." Hiro stated, "That was so.. fucking.. insane.."
"Hiro, you're wasted," Ando laughed, patting Hiro on the shoulder a few times.
"Yeah, guess I am..." Hiro murmured, "But what about my shoes!"
"You're wearing them, Hiro."
"But Peter said my shoes would tell me my destiny, Ando-kun!"
"Your destiny is in your hand, Hiro," Ando remarked, gesturing to Hiro's beer.
"Oh, right," Hiro replied, taking another gulp. "Damn, I am SO hungry for some reason!"
"It was probably all that purple haze you smoked," Josh responded.
"...I smoked?" Hiro blinked.
"Yeah, for an hour," Shirl laughed.
Feeling hungrier that ever, Hiro ate another brownie, having NO FUCKING IDEA what it REALLY was.
Then, he had a couple more shrooms.
"Well, we're here, guys," Josh said, pulling into the motel.
"Thanks, Josh," Ando answered, patting him on the head, "Maybe Hiro and I will see you in the future some time."
"Cool man. Well, keep it real, you two."
"We will," Ando remarked, as he and Hiro clumsily got out of the van.
Hiro and Ando waved goodbye once again, as they stumbled their ways to the motel. They reached the front desk, and Hiro used his credit card to check-in.
The manager looked bedazzled. "This Visa doesn't expire for fifty more years."
"Well I'm a lawnmower," Hiro happily answered, "You're so pretty, sirsy."
The manager sighed. Yeah, these two were stoned, and wasted. "We only have two rooms vacant, both one bedroom, so is that okay?"
"Yeah it's okay," Ando responded, accepting the key, "I've always wanted to sleep in the same bed as Hiro, secretly, but, fuck it, I don't care if he knows now! Ha ha!
"Lighters," Hiro laughed, "We need tuna."
"Yeah, seriously, I'm hungry," Ando replied, as he took the key before he and Hiro headed down the cemented pathway. Once they had reached their room, Ando unlocked the door, before he and Hiro stepped inside.
Ando sat down on the bed, had a couple more shrooms and another brownie, before Hiro blinked.
"Where are my shoes, Ando?"
"You took them off. They're over by the window."
"Oh, okay," Hiro said, walking over to his shoes.
"Hi Hiro," Hiro's shoes said.
"Hello," Hiro chuckled back, "How you doing?"
"It's all good, Hiro-chan," Hiro shoes replied, "So... are you going to tell Ando how you really feel about him?"
"What do you mean...?"
"You love him, don't you?" the shoes said.
"Well, yes... very much, but... he's already with my sister, and I... don't want to come between them..."
"He loves you too, Hiro," the shoes remarked, "Remember what Peter Petrelli said?"
"He said to listen to my shoes."
"And you should, Hiro, you really, really should."
"But what if Ando-kun doesn't want me...?"
The shoes sighed. "Trust us, he will, Hiro. He will. Now, go tell him how you feel, before we start talking about politics again."
"Oh, I sure as hell don't want that!" Hiro shuttered. He turned, and headed for the bed, flopping down next to Ando.
"Ando-kun, I'm in love with you," Hiro spoke, caressing Ando's face.
"R-Really?" Ando inquired, fucked-up as ever.
"Yes," Hiro responded, "My shoes told me to tell you how I felt, and so did like Peter Petrelli and all of the others said... I think you're my destiny, Ando-kun."
Ando smiled. "I love you too, Hiro-kun."
And then, they kissed.
The kiss started out almost innocently at first—gentle, before it therein transpired into something much more fierce and much more passionate.
Needless to say, they didn't get any sleep that night.
***
The Next Day...
Hiro Nakamura solemnly awoke.
"Ugh... I feel terrible..." he said, blinking his eyes a few times.
Then, he realized he was naked.
Stark naked.
And... he had a serious pain in his ass...
"Oh my God..." Hiro murmured, raising up as he realized his head was on Ando's chest.
Then, Ando woke up.
"Good morning, Hiro-kun."
"What happened...?" Hiro asked. He was so lost...
"Well, I only remember a little, but I sure remember those sounds you made last night," Ando chuckled.
Hiro blushed. "So-So we did..."
"Yes, we did."
"But what about Kimiko...?"
"Kimiko can marry someone else. I'm in love with you, Hiro..."
Hiro smiled softly. "Really?"
"Really. Now, let's get out of here. Go back to Japan."
"Alright," Hiro responded, touching Ando's face.
Then, Ando supercharged Hiro again.
They ended up in Beijing, China, 1592, in some random field.
Both naked.
"I need to go back and get my shoes, Ando."
Yeah, they were still both a little high.
Ando laughed out loud. "Okay, Hiro, okay."
And so Hiro teleported them back to Amsterdam, 1967, to the motel, where Hiro and Ando put their clothes back on and Hiro made sure he got his shoes. He loved those shoes.
A lot.
"Glad you didn't forget us, Hiro," the shoes said.
"I would never forget you guys," Hiro chuckled.
Meanwhile, Ando was talking to a lamp.
"Didn't Daphne tell you that you would get him if you listened to me?"
"Yes," Ando responded, "Thank you, lamp. Thank you so much."
"Ready to go, Ando-kun?" Hiro asked after putting his shoes back on. Ando gave the lamp a hug, and then said, "Ready as ever."
And so, they both time-traveled back to their own time, back to Tokyo, Japan
After Hiro had finally found Charlie, he had stayed with her for awhile, while Ando had stayed with Kimiko for awhile, but both Charlie and Kimiko had both discovered Hiro and Ando's hidden affairs.
Even though their relationships had ended, they all remained good friends till' the end.
Until the next time that Hiro and Ando had teleported back to Amsterdam, 1967, a-gain.
After that, things had gotten rather... crazy.
In Hiro's apartment, Charlie frowned.
"Hiro, why are you talking to your shoes?"
***
END!
A/N: Yeah... that was completely ridiculous, and I'm sure that Hiro and Ando would never get themselves into a mess like this (well, at least I hope not, lol). And, btw, the 'talking to his shoes' bit came from the guy I once knew who smoked crystal (big mistake, got that guy into some trouble, don't do it!), but, anyway, he told me a story about how he smoked the meth and then went out into the middle of the street, when he suddenly asked his friend "Hey, where's my shoes?" and the friend said "Dude, they're in the street. You took them off and have been talking about politics with them for the past thirty minutes." Well... ridiculous as it is I thought it was a funny story. Still, drugs are bad, yo.
Well, have a merry Christmas everyone!