Disclaimer: I do not own the show Naruto nor the character Kakashi... Though someday I will!

Author's Notes: First story! Please tell me what you think of it! It's a one shot... and Kakashi seems kinda OOC to me. Oh, and this story contains no lemons or limes. Even though the title makes it seem like it does. Sorry?

"Anko, would you like to go out with me this Saturday?"

"Sure, why not. But don't be late… or else."

I smiled underneath my mask. I, Kakashi Hatake, got a date with the hottest konoichi in Konohagakure. Lucky me! I've been working up the nerve to ask her for weeks, and she said yes! This feels like a dream! Now, I don't love her, or even like her. I've just heard she's great after the date. Suggestive eyebrow. Now It's finally Saturday, and the date is at 8:00 I double checked my image in the mirror. I was wearing normal date attire: Black blazer, white oxford etc… I still had on my mask though. I'll take that off in private. Yet another suggestive eyebrow.

2:00 hours left

I still had two hours. No point getting there this early. It would make me look desperate. I picked out a book from my porn shelf- I mean book shelf. Icha Icha Violence was tonight's pick, and I was transported into a world of sexual innuendo and nudity. Ah, the pleasures of adult reading.

1:00 hour left.

After an hour of mature rated content, I sadly put the book down, and left the house. I walked casually down the stairs, and put my hands in my pocket. I stopped mid-step and pondered. Something is missing… Oh crap! I left my wallet. I sighed. I stomped back up the stairs. And just my lucky! My wallet wasn't on the counter where I always keep it. Now I get to have a super fun scavenger joy!

I swear I looked everywhere for that stupid wallet. Negative for the closet, desk, bookshelf, under the bed, drawers, and the pantry. I was starting to get pissed. Only one other place I can look. I opened the fridge, and there was the mysterious wallet. I now remembered that I was drunk last night. And I just wasted fifteen minutes. Great..

0:45 minutes left.

Fortunately the restaurant was only thirty minutes away, so I should be able to make it on time. Then I saw a green blur from the corner of my eye. I spoke too soon.

"Kakashi! My eternal rival! I CHALLENGE YOOOOUUUU!" The green beast yelled very err... Youthfully?

"I'll take a rain check." I need to get away from this idiot.

"WHAT! NUUUUUU!" He started crying, no really, he starting bawling his eyes out. On most days watching a grown man sob like a baby while wearing green spandex would amuse me greatly, but today it was just annoying.

"Fine Gai, lets just get this over with." I said annoyed, I knew he wouldn't let me go, so I just had to give up.

"YES!! Now it's my turn to pick… Hmmm… A youthful push-up contest! We do as many youthful pushups as we can in thirty wonderful minutes, while having 100 pounds of youthful bricks on our youthful backs. It that okay with you, youthful rival?!?" He asked with a huge uber-white grin on his face.

"Okay, youthful rival." I answered, sarcastically.

Gai won. I only did one pushup, because I didn't want to look sweaty, but I didn't want him to yell at me.

"Kakashi! I wo-"

"Okay, whatever, bye!" I interrupted him, and then ran away.

0:15 minutes left.

I'm going to have to run all the way their to make it on time. "But don't be late… or else." Anko's voice echoed in my mind. I shivered slightly. Why are all hot girls so scary? Next person who distracts me is going to-

"Kaka-sensei!" Ramen boy said.

Die!

"Kakashi- sensei. Naruto and I need to ask you a question." Oh and fangirl is with him. Since I'm a good little sensei, I reluctantly walked to pinky and the brainless.

"What the hell do you want." I growled. Sakura looked a bit taken back.

"W-we were just wondering… well, we haven't had a mission in a while, and-"

"Just get to the point, Haruno!" I snapped. Now the poor girl was stunned. I felt a bit guilty and I wanted to apologize, but damn it! I want to go on my stupid date!

"Who screwed you over, Kakashi- sensei." Blondie asked. "You" I wanted to say.

"I'm sorry, I'm guessing you two want missions."

"Yes! We have been tired of just training for the past weeks!" Sakura said.

"I'll talk to Tsunade about it." I said, and just when I was leaving idiot had to say something.

"He could have said that in the first place, instead of acting like a PMSing girl about it." He whispered to Sakura.

That was it! The final straw! I totally lost my temper and decided to beat up the brat. After about ten minutes all the anger was drained out of me. I glanced at my watch… 8:00. Crap, crap, crap, crappity, crap, crap, CRAP! I'm late! I started to run in panic.

0 minutes left.

While I was running and panicking about all the terrible things Anko will do to me, I was also doing the stupidest thing a ninja could do. Something only Naruto does. I was running with my eye closed. Not realizing my dire mistake, I ran into something.

"Oof!" The strange object said. I opened my eye to see a short fuzzy peach, yellow, blue, and brown human-looking thing. I blinked twice, and recognized the human looking thing as Konohamaru. His two friends were behind him.

"Watch where your going, kid!" I glared at the boy.

"You're the one who ran into me!" He rudely said.

"Brat! You should respect your elders."

"Screw that! Sexy Jutsu!"

Even though I have Naruto as one of my students… I still have a weakness for this jutsu. I ended up flat on my back with a nosebleed. I stayed down for a while, daydreaming a bit. Once I recovered, I noticed that the Konohamaru Ninja Squad escaped. I'll get that brat, someday. Oh wait… what was I doing? I'm even more late now!!! I panic ran yet again. (This time with my eyes open.)

30 minutes late.

After several minutes of running, I took a short break. I looked around… I've never seen this place before. I was at a crossroad, and there was a small black kitten in the middle.

"What are you doing here? Ha, what am I doing here?" I asked the kitten. "Great… I'm talking to cats now."

"Yeah, and I'm talking to humans." It responded.

"You speak?" I said slightly surprised.

"No shit, Sherlock." I don't like this cat.

"Can you tell me where I am?"

"Your lost on the road of life."

"Ha, that's funny, kitty." I rolled my eyes.

"No really, look at the sign." It pointed it's paw to the left of me. I glanced that way and saw a sign. Which read "Road of life.

"Can you please tell me how to get back to Konoha?"

"Yeah you go right until you get to the Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Then you go right, and then you take the next left."

"Err. Thanks… why is this happening to me?" I asked myself.

"Karma, biatch." The cat said, and it disappeared. I think that cat was on drugs. I followed the cat's directions and found my way back to Konaha.

1 hour late

Maybe if I apologize to Anko, she'll understand… "Hey, sorry I'm late, but first I lost my wallet, then Gai had a new challenge, my student had a question, and encountered the terrible sexy jutsu… oh and got lost on the life of road while being insulted by a black kitty. How was your night?" She would just slap me. I sighed. Great, now my date is ruined.

"Kakashi! My number one fan, how are 'ya?" A big hand smacked me on the back. Jiriya… and I thought my night couldn't get any worse.

"Not so good… I'm really late for a date, so I better get going…"

"Oh! That reminds me of one of my dates! Wanna hear 'bout it?" He asked with a hopeful smile. His arm was around my neck, so I had no change for escape.

"No." I said bluntly.

"Too bad! Now lets see… I was about 17, and her name was… Amu, no Yuki… no wait that's not right… Oh yeah! Her name was Midori! And she-"

45 minutes later….

"And then I realized she was a dude! Ah the memorizes… wanna hear another one?"

"NO! NO… JUST NO!" I screamed.

"Fine, I get the point. God! Go on then, to your date!"

"THANK YOU!" I ran into the restaurant, which happened to be two blocks away from Jiraya and I.

1 hour and 45 minutes late.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, Iruka?!?" I glanced at Anko and then Iruka… what the hell?

"There you are Kakashi! How dare you make a girl wait almost two hours!" She looked furious.

"Well he does have a notorious habit of being late…" Iruka sniggered.

"Iruka… what are you doing here?" I said bitterly.

"Well, I was waiting here, ALL ALONE, so Iruka decided to keep me company." Anko answered.

"Lets go to my place, Anko." Iruka whispered in her ear, very flirtatious.

"Okay, lets go… and Kakashi, here's a little gift." She winked, and then punched me in the eye.

This is the second time I'm flat on my back today. I listened to their footsteps and giggles as they exited the building. Lucky me.