Autumn's Embrace
Tomorrow's Dust
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Dean saw his brother in everything. He has come to realise there's no such thing as goodbye. After he had waded through the crippling grief and the ever present yearning to be able to bump shoulders with his little brother again, Dean managed to look back on their time together and see beyond the pain.
He had put the bottle down, shaved off his beard, and got out to grab a decent meal. He allowed himself to remember the laughter, the warmth and all the cheeky smiles. Red leaves floated down in the parking lot of a rundown diner, twirling through the air like ballerina's, as Dean sobbed into his appelpie, watching them fall from his place behind the window. The memories didn't break him like he had expected them to.
He saw Sam in the trees and the wind. He saw him in the faces of strangers, in small offers of kindness, in the greatest of sacrifices, in simple things like siblings holding hands while crossing the street.
Dean saw Sam in his own face when his wife handed him a photograph of a sunny afternoon playing with his kids in the park, and he realised that the man in the picture wore a genuinely happy smile. There were lines in his face, both of sorrow and laughter, but laughter was winning.
He recognised Sam in his children, in Debby's sharp intellect and her never ending reservoir of questions. He saw his brother in Mark's dimples and his ability to flash them in a smile no matter what kind of shit life threw at him. He heard Sammy in the gurgling laughter of his newborn baby girl.
When his wife was asleep at night, worn out from the hustle and the bustle of the day, Dean lifted his youngest daughter from her crib before she had a chance to go from snuffling to blearing. He hugged her to his bare chest – just to feel her heart thump a gentle beat against his, sometimes he needed that reassurance - and he sung her old rock songs with a soft, steady voice.
He tucked his kids in every night and made up the wildest fairy-tales which always featured uncle Sammy as the hero. 'Is uncle Sammy in Heaven?' Debby asked him around the thumb in her mouth. Dean kissed her on the forehead with trembling, infinitely tender lips and smiled bravely at her. 'Uncle Sammy is everywhere,' he answered.
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AN: Dedicated to everyone who has lost, everyone who has to wake up in the morning to face the world without their strength by their side. To everyone who knows how painful healing can be.
If you don't know, I congratulate you, and I think you'll be able to imagine and understand just the same. Hug someone you love today.
Yes, I'm in quite the odd mood today. Never mind. If you have a moment, please leave a comment, they always mean a lot,
Huggels, TD