Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Team Fortress 2.
Warnings: Bad pick-up lines, innuendos
XxX
"Hey Miss P, you ever notice that screw rhymes with me and you?"
"Excuse me?"
"Uh, never mind. Hey! Would you look at the time!"
XxX
"Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, STAT!"
"If you are choking, you should go and see Medic. I'm sure he knows CPR,"
"On second thought, I'm okay now,"
XxX
"I was told you got the hots for me!"
"I guess you were misinformed, seeing as how I do not have the 'hots' for you,"
XxX
"If I followed you home, would you keep me?"
"I would call the cops and then request a restraining order if you were to do that,"
XxX
"I'm sorry, I'm an artist and it's my job to stare at beautiful women!"
"Scout, you are a mercenary, not an artist. Leave me alone and go bother someone else,"
"Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today,"
"Scout,"
XxX
"I'm new in town, could I get directions to your place?"
"You have been here for over a year, and no, you may not get directions to my place,"
XxX
"Reproducing, eh? Mind if I help?"
"Do me a favor and let me copy these files in peace, please,"
XxX
"Can I flirt with you?"
"No, you may not. And just how many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone?"
XxX
"I'm addicted to yes, and allergic to no. What's it gonna be?"
"You should probably ask Medic for an Epi-pen because my answer is no,"
XxX
"You know, if you were a fruit you'd be a FINEAPPLE,"
"Scout,"
"Yes?"
"Get out of my face,"
XxX
"Are you French? Cause Madamn,"
Before Miss Pauling could even reject Scout, Spy uncloaked from nearby, and promptly dragged Scout away by the ear; ignoring the cries of pain from the younger man.
XxX
"You make my software turn to hardware!"
Miss Pauling stopped typing at her computer and grabbed her clipboard. After whacking Scout across the face with said clipboard, she returned to typing on the computer. Scout rubbed his face as he sullenly walked away from Miss Pauling.
XxX
Author rambles: I am putting this here at the bottom because I know how some people don't like to read the author notes. Anyway, I would like to thank you for reading this little story idea I came up with at three in the morning. Feel free to leave a review, critics are also welcome and appreciated. I will probably continue this, so feel free to PM me or leave a review with some bad pick up lines of your own. Thank you :D