The College Years
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, Gundam Wing, Starbucks, or the Ohio River.
Warnings: Lots of sexual innuendo. Haruka likes girls, 34, Duo is a whore...But NO LIME!
Dedication: To Frankie, who took me to the drag show, and Cowboy and Wally for going with us. Thank you guys for making my first semester so much fun.
The three-foot chestnut-colored braid that normally swung freely behind Duo Maxwell's back was forced to the side by an overstuffed backpack which made the young man seem even smaller than his actual 5 feet 5 inches. As he crossed the cafeteria, he balanced four plates and a glass of Pepsi in his arms. Carefully, he set his plates down on one of the round tables and lowered his backpack to the floor. "Did you ever talk to somebody really hot," he said as he sat down between a blue-eyed blond and a spiky-haired brunette, "and have a really good conversation with'em, and then they start to walk away and you think, 'Shit, they are so straight.'"
"Mmhm," said Trowa, the spiky-haired one, not even bothering to look up from his lunch of salad and cantaloupe.
"All the time," said Haruka with a smile. Her blond hair was cut above her ears, and her bangs curled around her eyes.
"There are some very hot people at this college," Duo continued, "and it sucks that only half of them are interested in me."
"What are you eating?" asked Trowa with a slight note of disgust in his voice.
"Huh? Lunch. What's it look like."
"A big pile of grease."
"Woll, oo guysh ah eain' 'alad, oo 'ags," Duo said through a mouthful of pizza. "Duo, I'm a girl," said Haruka.
"Oh, ah." Duo swallowed. "I forgot again. Ow!" His hand flew to his cheek as a piece of ice struck him. He turned to Haruka and smiled. "That hurt, baby."
"Shut the hell up. I don't want to get involved in your weird sex games."
Duo pouted, but within ten seconds recovered enough to ask Trowa where Quatre was.
"Why does everyone assume Quatre and I are the same person, and one always knows what the other one is doing."
"Jeeze, sorry, man. I's just wonderin', and I figured if anybody knew it would be you."
For a moment they all focused on eating, and then Trowa said, "He's in lab 'til 2:30."
Haruka snorted and glanced at Duo. A smile crept over his face. Trowa's eyes narrowed and tension hung in the air—"Whipped!" said Duo in a voice between a whisper and a giggle, then, "Shit!" as a fork flew past his head and clattered against the wall behind him.
"At least I have a boyfriend," said Trowa, getting up to get another fork.
"Yeah, but I'm getting some."
Trowa paused and turned around to glare at Duo and Haruka sighed and attacked her salad. "Only because you're a whore."
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!" Duo said happily. Suddenly they heard the cell-phone version of the Imperial March and Duo leaned back in his chair in order to get at the phone in his pocket. "Y-ello, Joe's Bar."
"Find a client?" asked Haruka.
Duo made a face at her and continued his conversation. "Uh-huh. Roger that." He hung up. "I gotta go."
"He pays a lot, huh."
"More than you can afford!" He made a last ditch effort to fit the remains of his lunch into his mouth at one time and left.
Haruka watched as Trowa followed Duo out of the cafeteria rather than return to the table, and a few minutes later her own cell phone rang. "Haruka speaking."
"Haruka, it's Ami. Rei had a premonition. Something is going to happen on the Levee. We need to get down there."
"My car's in the back lot."
In the middle of the crowded cafeteria, there was one table that was left with three places set for lunch and no one to eat it…Mua ha ha ha ha ha….
At noon on Tuesday, the shopping center on the levee of the Ohio River was a strange contrast to the cafeteria of a college campus. Haruka, Ami, Rei, and Usagi were the only people out, and they huddled together against the side of Barnes and Noble. Rain made plopping noises on Rei's leather jacket, and Usagi's teeth were chattering. "This sucks. If I'm going to miss class, I want to have a good time while I do it! I'd almost rather be in history."
"Usagi, you shouldn't be skipping class! Our duty as Sailor Senshi is important, but so is our duty as students."
Haruka smiled. God, they were all so cute! "Do you sense anything, Rei?" asked Ami.
The raven-haired girl closed her eyes and shook her head. "Nothing definite. There's just something evil…"
"It's the aura from the Hot Topic store in the mall," said Usagi. "I think we should go get hot chocolate from Starbucks."
"We're as likely to find clues in there as out here," said Haruka. She hadn't had a chance to finish her lunch, and an expensive pastry was sounding good.
"I suppose…" started Ami, but the others were already inside.
Duo peered casually around the corner of a bookshelf in Barnes and Noble and spoke into his cell phone. "I don't see it. Are you sure you got the title right?"
A floor below him, Trowa lowered the copy of the Advocate that he was using as cover and snuck another look at the cute guy at the counter. He spoke into his cool high-tech headless telephone headset. "Y'know, Duo, there's a slight chance what we're looking for might not be in the sex section."
"Hey, how did you…," Duo sighed and moved away from his self-assigned post. "Ooh, cute girls at 10 o'clock."
"Focus, Duo."
"Yeah, I saw you lookin' at the guy behind the counter when we walked in. There's a suspicious looking guy with this group of girls, I'm gonna go check'em out. Over an' out, man." Duo pocketed the phone and sauntered toward the Starbucks on the other side of the store. He was halfway there when he realized that the young man with the cute girls was actually Haruka.
"So she followed me, eh? And brought her posse? What means this, I wonder?" He ducked into the children's section and crept along the shelves. Once he got to the end, he carefully peeked around the corner.
Meanwhile, the Sailor Scouts had just remembered that they were college students, and consequently, broke. "Oh, I knew I shouldn't have bought those pink shoes when I was at the mall yesterday! But they were so cute!" Usagi looked like she was about to cry.
"I knew I shouldn't have bought beer from that senior Saturday night! I could've gotten somebody to buy it for me!" Rei looked like she was about to punch somebody.
"I'm sorry, I don't have money either. I'm saving up to buy a new computer." Ami looked genuinely sorry.
Haruka smiled like a parent watching her children. "It's okay, kittens. I got money."
"Oh, you don't have to—"
"I want a grande chocolate mocha and piece of caramel pie!"
"Go ahead and order." Haruka nodded toward the counter. "Don't worry about it, Ami. I get plenty of money from racing, and I don't have anything to do with it. If you really feel bad, you can pay me back when you're a doctor." Ami nodded her thanks. "What about you, Rei?"
"I'm not really that hungry, but thank you."
"C'mon, Rei." Haruka winked. "Pay me back later."
"Haruka!" Rei giggled and smacked her on the shoulder.
"May I help you?" The Scouts turned toward the counter and beheld a young girl with the freakiest eyebrows this side of the Mississippi. Her green Starbucks apron was tied tight around her tiny waist, and her long blond ponytail hung out from her green Starbucks hat. She had a great figure, but what struck Haruka (aside from her forked eyebrows) were her ice-blue eyes. They glinted with a ferocity that seemed at odds with her pink sparking lips. "May I help you?" she asked again.
Usagi ordered first. "A grande chocolate mocha and a piece of caramel pie! Please."
Duo stood up in shock, started to shout and got as far as, "Holy—" before he remembered he was on a secret mission, and he ducked back down behind the shelf. Whipping out his…cell phone…he called up Trowa. "Man, it's Dorothy Catalonia!"
"What?"
"That Catalonia chick! I'm sure it's her! She's working at Starbucks!"
"Duo…What the hell?"
"Yeah, that's what I'm thinkin'! Somethin' is goin' on here."
"Don't let her see you. Look, this is probably what we're supposed to be looking for."
"No shit! From what some people say, she was the one pulling the strings in White Fang and Romefeller. If she's up to something here…But what the hell, working at the coffee shop? What am I supposed to do, arrest her for charging too much?"
"I wish we'd known something about this mission before we came out here."
"What should we do?"
"Are you sure it's her?"
"Dude, how many people with freaky eyebrows do you know?"
Trowa sighed. "I think we should keep an eye on her. Can you get back in the kitchen?"
"What, do you think she's got some kind of super death machine hidden back there?"
"I don't know, but it's worth checking out."
"Damnit, I sure miss those Gundam fights. But sneaking in is my specialty."
Duo slipped the phone back into his pocket and straightened up. He might as well do this honestly. "Hey, Haruka! What's up?"
"Duo! What are you doing here?"
"Looking for books." He smiled and nodded at Usagi, Rei, and Ami. "How are you ladies?"
Usagi giggled.
"Fine, thanks." Rei sipped her coffee very carefully and looked at Duo through her lashes.
"I'm Ami. Are you Haruka's friend?"
"Well, I'd say so. She might not always feel the same." Duo tilted his head and raised his eyebrow.
"Hm. I guess you're okay today." But she was pissed. Now all the girls' attention was focused on him. Damn boys.
"Duo Maxwell! The Gundam pilot?"
"Dorothy Catalonia, the bitch who stabbed my buddy Quatre?"
For a moment she glared daggers at him, but she quickly regained control and looked demurely at the floor. "I'm afraid you're correct. I shudder to think of the horrors I committed during that tragic period of my life. As you can see, I'm quite a different person now."
They stared at each other. She noticed the way his metal-studded belt hung around his low-rise corduroys, and he decided that if he had been Quatre he wouldn't have minded being stabbed by her. But Quatre wasn't interested in such things.
"Can I get you some coffee, Mr. Maxwell?" She slid her hands around the back of the computer on the counter and tapped the casing with her long pink fingernails.
"Ah." Duo shifted his weight to one foot and put his hands on his hips. "Maybe I should come back there and see what you have."
"I'm sorry, I'm not supposed to let customers behind the counter. Why don't you just look at the menu?"
Haruka snickered, but Duo was unaffected. "Sure. Gimme a minute, okay?"
"No problem." She smiled at him. "Ladies, I will have your orders in a second." She turned around to fix the coffees, and Haruka and Duo admired the menu.
"Rei?" Ami leaned in close to her. "Is something wrong?"
Rei was staring in Dorothy's direction, but she seemed to be looking for something more than just a coffee girl. Her eyebrows were drawn together and her fists were clenched.
"Rei?"
"There's something wrong…"she said slowly.
"Ooooh, chocolate!" Usagi snatched her drink and her caramel pie and dashed to a table. "Here's your coffee, miss."
"Thanks." Rei's expression didn't change as she took the cup from Dorothy and followed Usagi. Haruka looked at Ami, who just shrugged as she got her coffee. Duo leaned against the counter and said, "So, what time do you get off work?"
"Five o'clock."
"You doing anything?"
"Not yet." She copied his pose and looked at him over her shoulder. "Why do you ask?"
"It's Tuesday, and I know a great club that's eighteen and up on Tuesdays. Do you wanna go?"
"Hm." She looked away. "Well, I'm not really doing anything else. Do you want me to drive?"
"If you really want to. I'm living at—"
"I know where you live. I'll be there at 10:30?" She backed away from the counter as she spoke.
"Yeah. Okay. I'll see you." Duo walked with Haruka to the table where the other girls were sitting. Rei glared at him.
"Who is she?"
"Who, Dorothy? I dunno. I know a guy who kindof knows her."
"What's her problem?" Rei demanded.
Duo shrugged. "How should I know? Hey, I gotta get back to class. See ya, Haruka."
She leaned back in her chair and motioned for him to stop. "Wait up. That club you're going to…"
He grinned. "Yeah."
"Is that the, um, the one? The one you usually go to on Tuesdays?"
"Mm-hm!"
"I though you were gonna take me!"
"I never said you couldn't come too. All you have to do is ask."
"Are you sure Dorothy will like it?"
"Not at all. But it's a fun place. I'll have fun, anyway. You will too, if you come."
"I wanna go to a club!" whined Usagi.
"Which club?" asked Rei. She'd thought she knew all the clubs in the area.
"On a school night?" asked Ami.
"Okay, I'll see you later!" Duo waved and wandered off.
"What club, Haruka?" asked Rei.
To be continued.
Is Dorothy plotting the return of OZ? Will Duo and Dorothy hook up? Will Haruka meet hot goth chicks at the club? Will Ami be able to save the world and take 18 credit hours? How much does Duo charge per hour? Will Quatre's Muslim beliefs allow him to consume alcoholic beverages, or is he doomed to be the eternal Designated Driver? Find out the answers to some of the questions and more in the next installment of...The College Years!