Inquisitorial Shorts
Mabari
It was a quiet, normal day. The soldiers were outside training, nobles and other guests were littered throughout the main hall, and the Inquisitor and her team were off on a mission in the Exalted Plains.
Josephine sat in her office, writing and reading letters to and from different allies all throughout Ferelden and Orlais. That was when she came across an odd letter. In it, a Kennel Master profusely apologized about 20 mabari bought by the Inquisition. Last Josephine heard, Cullen had been quite pleased with the mabari. Josephine decided to bring it up at the War Table meeting that was to happen in the next half hour.
-30 Minutes Later-
When Josephine entered she decided to go ahead and get the matter of the mabari cleared, before discussing more important things.
"Cullen, I just received the oddest letter about the 20 mabari we purchased for—," She was interrupted by Cullen's head face-planting onto the war table followed by a scream of frustration. Leliana began to giggle madly.
"I'm guessing I missed something." Josephine deadpanned.
"How in Thedas you could have missed that fiasco is beyond me." Leliana said while grinning, she then turned to Cullen, who still had his head on the table, "Do you want to tell her, or shall I?" Her only response was an irritated grumble. "Alright then, I shall. You're going to love this, Josie!"
-6 Days Earlier-
Cullen was admittedly excited to receive the 20 war-hounds for the Inquisition. It would be the first batch of a total of 100. After being away from Ferelden for such a long time, to have something there that was so very Ferelden in nature made Cullen feel nostalgic and at home.
When the dogs first arrived, the first thing Cullen noticed was how strong they looked. The second, was how well trained they seemed to be as they walked in formation into Skyhold. The final thing he noticed was the odd look on the Inquisitor's face as the dogs passed her by to the newly built kennels.
Normally, the Inquisitor was a rather…stoic person. Her face was constantly blank, no matter what her mood (Despite this, she was rather bad at Wicked Grace; with a poker face like that, Cullen didn't understand how someone could be so bad at the game.). Yet, watching the mabari head to their kennels, the Inquisitor's eyes held this odd light, and she had this odd little half-smile.
At that moment, a chill ran down Cullen's spine. Cullen decided, then, to keep the Inquisitor away from the dogs. He just had a bad feeling about that look…
-2 Days Later-
Keeping the Inquisitor away from the dogs had been easier said (or thought) than done. It was like she was fixated on them. At every turn the past two days, she had managed to evade him and he would always find her at the kennels either talking to the dogs or sneaking treats to them. He tried to keep her occupied with little errands throughout Skyhold, but she would simply push those off on someone else and head immediately to wherever the dogs were at the time.
It was about midday, when it suddenly dawned on Cullen that it was incredibly quiet. Not even a hint of barking or men training. With a frustrated sigh, Cullen left his office.
"Just because I'm working on paperwork, does not mean they can slack off on their training…" Cullen grumbled to himself as he descended the stairs to the courtyard. That was when he was met with the sight of Inquisitor soldiers searching frantically for…something. One of the men, spotting him, immediately ran up to him, clearly upset.
"Commander Cullen, Ser! Thank goodness you're here! The mabari! They're gone!" Cullen froze.
"What do you mean they're gone?"
"We've looked everywhere! We've asked everyone, and no one's seen anything! How do 20 mabari just up and…disappear?" Cullen thought for a moment and then realization dawned on him.
"Has anyone seen the Inquisitor?"
"W-well no, she's still in her room as far as I know. What does this have to do with –"
"I'll be right back." Cullen dismissed the soldier and went off to find where he was almost certain he would find the mabari. He made his way up the stairs, and stood outside of the Inquisitor's door. Then, he knocked.
A cacophony of barking ensued after that, confirming his suspicions. He opened the door to find all 20 mabari somehow snuggled with the Inquisitor on her bed. Said Inquisitor was still asleep. Cullen decided, then, he would allow his inner commander to take over. Large intake of breath, and…
"WHAT IN ANDRASTE'S NAME IS GOING ON HERE?!" The Inquisitor spluttered awake, looked around a moment, clearly disoriented, when her eyes settled on Cullen. She had the decency to look sheepish. This, however, did nothing to save her from Cullen's wrath.
"HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO SNEAK 20 WAR-HOUNDS INTO YOUR ROOM?! BETTER YET, WHY?!" The Inquisitor straightened herself then, looked Cullen square in the eye and said:
"Because they're adorable." Cullen definitely did not expect that answer.
"They are WAR-HOUNDS! They are not meant to be "adorable"!"
"Doesn't change the fact that they are. Now, if you don't mind, my pups and I need to get ready for the day."
Cullen, in his state of shock, simply left.
Throughout the rest of the day, the Inquisitor pranced around with all 20 mabari following her like baby ducks. She would give the dogs treats and play with them, all the while, Cullen helplessly watched as the gold it took to pay for the dogs and the years of training were all squandered away by the elf. It didn't help that she had a victorious (if not goofy) expression on her face while doing all of this. At the end of the day, the Inquisitor once again took all 20 mabari to her room to go to sleep; flashing Cullen that same goofy-victorious look on her way up to her room.
Needless to say, Cullen wrote a scathing letter to the kennel master about how easily his hounds had been turned into lapdogs.
-Back To Present-
"HOW IN ANDRASTE'S TITS DOES SOMEONE TAKE TWENTY WAR DOGS, WITH YEARS OF TRAINING AND EXPERIENCE IN WAR, AND TURN THEM INTO LAPDOGS?! IN LESS THAN A WEEK?!" Cullen howled in frustration, after Leliana finished her tale.
"I have no idea," Josephine answered between giggles, before forcing herself to calm down, "But the kennel-master we purchased the dogs from says that he is unable to refund us, since these were, in fact, highly trained, seasoned war-hounds. There was no fault on his part."
"So what? We KEEP them?!"
"I'm afraid so. Even if it is as…" a giggle escaped, "the Inquisitor's pets."
"Maker, help me…" Cullen sighed, exasperated, causing another fit of giggles from Josephine, and a few chuckles from Leliana.
"I don't see why you're so surprised about that," Leliana spoke, definitely amused at Cullen's distress, "Surely you've heard about 'The Nug Incident' that occurred in Haven. I thought Varric told everyone."
"No," Cullen breathed out, "I don't want to know. I feel as if it would just give me a larger headache than I already have. If there's no more business to discuss, I'm going to lie down for a while…" Cullen stumbled out of the room, followed by the laughter of both Leliana and Josephine.