AN: Written for the Confession challenge at HPFC, and also one of my entries for the OTP boot camp where I used the prompt 'Letter'
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or an other of J.K Rowlings creations.
Revenge, pure revenge. That was all she could think about, finding the culprit and giving them exactly what they deserved. All the better judgment and forgiveness she once had was now gone. Tears streamed down her face, each one drying quickly onto her skin from the brisk air bouncing off of the Great Lake. They would pay, the Deatheaters that killed her parents, she would find them, and she would kill them.
She had changed, from the moment she got the letter, she became almost a different person. The letter had come while she was eating dinner with Harry and Ron in the great hall. She could still see the official ministry seal in her head, feel the multitude of emotions that had come into her head while reading it, hear Harry and Ron voicing their concern. The moment kept re-playing in her mind, over and over. The moment that she had changed, as one normally would when they found out their parents had been murdered.
She wanted revenge and she would be prepared to go for the kill, no matter the cost. She knew that even though she was only fifteen and had only just finished her fifth year that she was still smarter than most death eaters. It would give her the advantage, the shock factor.
The ministry had not told her who had done it and they hadn't caught him, they probably never would. The ministry was corrupted, Deatheaters working within, looking out for each other. The only people Hermione could trust with something like this, trust to take the bastard down, was the order. But as she had known from the start she would do it, she had to be the one.
'It was her fault' That was the thought running through her head. If it weren't for her, her parents would still be alive. She had made far too many enemies, gotten on the most wanted list of far too many powerful wizards who would all kill her parents to get to her and her friends. She should have sent them away, far away, or even obliviated them. Done everything in her power to keep them alive, done something, but she hadn't, and now they were gone, and never coming back.
Nonetheless, no matter how much it was her fault, there of course had been the one who had killed them, murdered them. And if it was the last thing she did they would pay.
She allowed herself to cry once again as she sat down on the edge of the cool dark water, putting her head into the palms of her hands. She just sat there, for an amount of time that she herself did not know. It felt as if the moment didn't last long though, for what felt like only seconds later she heard the gentle pad of footsteps on the grass behind her.
Immediately she became completely aware of her surroundings once more. Within seconds she was on her feet again with her wand drawn out in front of her. Constant Vigilance. She had learned this from the former Auror Mad Eye Moody. She was now staring face to face with her pursuer. She recognized him, his messy brown hair, his penetrating brown eyes, his well defined cheekbones, and most of all, his maniacal smile. It was the familiar face of Barty Crouch Junior.
She had known him from her fourth year, well not really known him since he had been impersonating Professor Moody the entire time. She had actually never seen him in person, only in the daily prophet, but of how she could remember his face.
Before she could manage to do anything besides stare shockingly into his eyes, he spoke. "Hermione Granger." He drawled, slowly advancing on her. "Now what would a bright witch like yourself be doing out here all alone, and when it's so close to sunset? Now I thought you of all people would have more common sense than that."
She couldn't speak, half because of fear, and half because she couldn't tell if she were dreaming or not, it would make more sense if it was a dream. He shouldn't be here, he couldn't. How had he even gotten in? What with all the security measures and enchantments. Not to mention the fact that he's dead... or was dead for that matter. When he had been caught he was given the dementor's kiss. She shuddered, a small part of her almost felt sorry for the man, in her eyes no one deserved a fate as cruel as that one, even if they had done so much wrong in their life. But there was still the pressing matter of how in hell he was alive.
As she opened her mouth to speak he cut her off, obviously not wanting to give up the role of power just yet, "I was like you, smart, driven, I had the best grades in my year actually. I even beat the records Snape had left behind when he had been in Hogwarts." He said, thinking of his own time at Hogwarts. "Just as smart as you even."
Hermione frowned, why was he telling her all of this, and why was he even here? She wanted to say something intelligent, some witty remark, almost as if she wanted to prove to him her cleverness. Though all she could muster was "You're dead."
Barty smirked, pleased to be able to know something she hadn't even heard about, that barely anyone knew. "No, I'm very much alive actually" he teased. Suddenly his expression went grim, as if what he were about to think of brought him an immense amount of pain. Most of the craziness had left his eyes and he almost looked, normal. "I believe what you are wanting to know is how I am here, standing before you, speaking to you, when only a year ago my soul was sucked out of me." He saw he was right in Hermione's facial reaction. "What you don't know, what little outside the ministry know, is what really happens to those given the dementor's kiss. You see, we aren't really dead at all. Just soulless, we lie there, motionless in the cells of Azkaban. Alive, but just barely."
Hermione scanned him furiously, what was he playing at, why was he here telling her all of this, and how? None of this told her how he was here, alive, standing in front of her. She barely even believed what he had just told her anyways, sure the ministry was corrupted, but would they really hide something this big for such a long time? Choosing that she wanted to get answers she decided to play along with whatever games he was playing. "Alright" she said with doubt in her voice. "Then tell me, if you're supposed to be lying hardly alive in a cell, then how are you here?"
For a short moment Barty was smirking again, before going back to the empty look he had before. He still hadn't moved from the spot he had been in since the moment Hermione turned around. Once again he began talking to her, but almost as if he was talking to a close friend. "Well Hermione," his eyes shone. "When a Dementor is killed, instead of just a patronus driving it away, something, almost miraculous happens. Every soul that Dementor has taken immediately returns to its body." He watched as Hermione gasped. "Apparently none other than Harry Potter killed one, apparently he didn't just send it away with his patronus as he had intended, he killed it. With the drive and momentum, and...well...whichever memory he used, it overpowered it and killed it. That's why sometime in August, I woke up!"
Hermione was utterly speechless, she couldn't believe any of it, but yet, it was so... well, believable. She could think of no other logical reason for him to be there. Her confusion turned into anger when she realized she was still there, just talking to him like he wasn't the psychopathic deatheater she knew him to be. She was fed up, the sun was already starting to set in the sky no and she really didn't want to be out there anymore. Not after everything that she had been through that day. She gripped her wand tightly, raising it up so it was pointing directly at his face. "Why are you here? And I want a straight answer, no more games."
Barty put on an innocent look "Me, games. Why I never!" He sounded astonished at the accusation, then saw Hermione's unyielding expression and spoke again. "To see you of course, I felt like I should be here in person."
"What are you on about?" Hermione glared, fright coursing through her veins, he didn't like the way he had said that. "Be here in person? What does that mean." She was close to yelling but her words quavered. "In person for what?"
For a moment a moment a flash of remorse flared through Barty's deep brown eyes, while he stayed silent for a couple of seconds. "I killed them." They had been Voldemort's first orders for him once he had come back. 'Kill the mudblood's parents' those were the words his lord had told him.
Pure anger raced through Hermione, it was him, he had done it. The Deatheater that had killed her parent's, the one she was going to kill, and she would kill him. A grim look had settled across her face, now it was time for what she had been in anticipation of ever since the moment she had received the letter. She blinked away the tears that were once again forming in her eyes. Could she actually do it? Kill someone? Before she had been so convinced, but now...now that the choice was throbbing in her head could she really do it?
Before thinking anything else she rushed over to Barty, close enough that her wand was now touching his neck, yet he still hadn't drawn out his own wad, which was sticking out of his pocket. "Nothing is stopping me from killing you." She said, her eyes never leaving his. She watched his every move, analyzing him.
"I know." He said, very calmly. His expression not faltering one bit, staying neutral.
She glared at him, what was he playing at, if he was at all scared he definitely wasn't showing it. "What do you mean you know? Are you telling me you want me to kill you?" In all honesty she wasn't certain if she could do it or not, she had never killed anyone in her life. She feared that if by doing so, she might be bringing herself sown to his level. That was it, she couldn't do it, couldn't kill, take a life away. No matter what he had done, it would only make things worse for herself if she did the same thing. It was funny how one could completely change their plans when actually caught in the situation.
"I know you could, but I also know that you won't." He glanced once between her and the wand clenched in her hand, still his expression remained the same. He looked empty, it was how he had looked ever since he began to explain what happened to him and why he was alive. "You're too good, too pure."
"So why are you here?" She yelled, not liking the way he was toying with her. "Don't you have anything better to do besides come here and torment me?" She spat.
"I came to tell you, I came because no matter how much I detest Potter and everyone surrounding him, you're the only one I have enough respect for to tell you this. I came because I respect you enough to think you deserve to know who murdered your parents, and this was the only way that was going to happen."
"Why?" she ordered, she still didn't get it, why was he doing this, telling her. She still held her decision though, not killing him, something she knew her parents would be proud of, they wouldn't want her to become a murderer. It was part of the reason why she couldn't do it.
Barty frowned "I see a lot of myself in you, a lot of what I had before I looked to the Dark lord as a father." He saw a look of resentment in her eyes. "But you won't ever turn out like me, I can tell, you'll always fight for good and remain that way, pure. Yet I still she myself whenever I look at you."
It felt as if Hermione's blood was burning inside her, a lot like how she imagined it felt like to drink poison. She was repulsed, how dare he compare himself to her. "I am nothing like you." She forced herself to say. She felt as if she couldn't speak.
"You didn't know me when I was in school." He chuckled, the crazy glint slowly returning to his eyes, like he was turning back to his normal self, or at least normal for him now that he had his soul ripped out then returned to him. "I will be leaving now, I've done everything I came here to do." He said. "I will walk with my back towards you, I will not try anything or even take out my wand, kill me if you wish." Though he knew she wouldn't he said it out of courtesy. With that he left, off in the direction of Hogsmeade. She realized she had never actually found out how he had gotten on Hogwarts grounds, but she didn't care anymore.
She watched as he walked with his back to her, just like he promised. She just stood there shocked, watching him leave, she knew she should have gotten someone, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. After she had lost sight of him she turned and headed back up to the wooden castle doors. She went to bed hoping it had all been a dream, even though she knew that wasn't possible. The memory of that night came into her mind often, but she never told a soul, for reasons ever she didn't know. She just remembered in silence, never fully figuring out what had happened, or why.