A Bottle or Two

A Hetalia Fanfic

Japan opened the large door to Austria's house and looked around the spacious interior. Seeing no sign of the other country after a few minutes, he spoke;

"Excuse me?"

Lovely music filled the air and became softer and louder when required. The tune flowed gracefully and swiftly, echoing through the large house. Japan's voice was forgotten in the intense music.

"Hmmm... That must be his playing."

Not wanting to intrude, Japan decided to wait until Austria was finished before continuing about the house. Not before long, the song's cadence ending with a light chord and the shuffling of papers could be heard in one of the rooms. A satisfied sigh followed as well, light footsteps echoing until the pianist reached Japan's sight. He was clad in his usual attire, a blue long coat, flowing just as his music, and the white jabot sat ruffled on his chest. His wavy brown hair was neat and the glasses sitting on his nose reflected the light through the window. His knee high pants met with his stockings and boots, which looked like they were recently polished. Japan bowed, then raised his head up once more.

"Konnichiwa, Austria."

Austria turned to see Japan, a bit surprised to see him. He nodded his greeting and smiled warmly before walking up to the nation.

"Hallo Japan. It's nice to see you are well. Would you like to join me for tea?"

"Ah... yes. Thank you."

"Well then, follow me. We shall make our way to the sitting room."

He turned, his coat flowing behind him. Japan hurried to his side and as they walked down the beautifully white hall, he couldn't help but admire some of the paintings. Japan looked around and at the various different displayed works of art. However, his eyes caught sight of one painting that appeared to be missing; a spot large enough for another art piece, but nothing there.

"Excuse me..." He began to ask, hoping inquiring would not be too rude, "But was there once a painting there?"

He motioned the blank spot. Austria glanced over to the bare spot, sweat running down his temple.

"N-no..." He turned back to face the front, obviously embarrassed.

Japan nodded. "I was just curious." Austria blinked a few times, thinking about something that confused him. After a while, he decided to ask Japan about it

"Say Japan. Why did you come and visit me anyway?" He turned to face the nation "Are you having trouble with something?"

"Well..." Japan started. "I was wondering if you could... teach me to play the piano."

Austria stopped outside the room they were venturing to, letting Japan go first before answering "That's wonderful. It's nice to know that you have an interest to try something new" He reached into a wooden cupboard and gathered two skillfully crafted teacups. "I'd love to teach you"

Japan nodded. "Thank you."

Austria beamed at him "My pleasure. Now, to get the water boiled" He disappeared into a room, which Japan figured was the kitchen. After a few moments, Austria came back carrying a few boxes of tea, each a different flavor. He placed them neatly on the table in front of him and looked at Japan. "I wasn't sure which one you would like...so I brought some out so you could choose..."

Japan nodded. "Thank you. That's very kind of you." He motioned to one.

"That one would be nice."

Austria nodded, stacking all the others up into a pile and discarding them in the kitchen. After a while, Austria didn't come out, and Japan wondered what was taking him so long. A long silence made the air uncomfortable, but soon the tension was cracked when the sound of shattering glass sounded through the air.

Japan's eyes widened at the sudden entrance. "Hello, Russia..." He trailed off, giving a slight bow. Russia smiled back at him, wearing his usual white scarf and long, beige winter coat.

At that moment, Austria came through the door with two cups full of tea in his hands "Russia? I didn't know you were here"

Russia nodded toward the shattered window cheerfully. "Da, I just arrived~"

Austria sweat dropped at the sight of his window shattered "I-I see..."

"You wouldn't mind making me some tea, too, da?"

"Not at all...Just give me a minute..."

Russia stopped Austria suddenly. "Ah, Mr. Austria. Forget your tea; my wodka is better, da? Come sit with me and Japan." Austria handed Japan his teacup as he sat down by his two friends. He then turned to Russia

"Sorry...but I'm afraid I don't have any vodka..."

Russia reached inside his cloak and pulled out three bottles of said liquid. "That is no problem. I always have some around." He handed them both a bottle.

"Err... thank you..." Japan said, hesitantly taking one of the bottles from Russia.

"T-thanks...Russia. But I'd rather not." Austria gulped "I'm not too good with alcohol..."

Russia grins. "Much better than your silly sake, da?" He turned to Austria. "Well, you are going to drink with us, too, da?"

Austria gulped, not wanting to make his friend upset "I...appreciate the offer greatly...but I'm afraid that I'll have to pass"

Russia's smile turned more forced. "Ufufu, Mr. Austria." He pulled out a long water pipe that he had somehow concealed in his coat. He raises it as if going to strike. "I'll ask again, I don't believe I heard you. You are going to drink with us, da?" Austria broke into a nervous sweat at the sight of the pipe. He weakly grasped the bottle in Russia's hand.

Russia smiled "sweetly", if you could call it that. "Da, that's what I thought." He took a sip of his bottle. Japan took a glance at Russia, his eyebrow raised, but then took a sip of his own bottle of the alcohol. Austria glanced at the bottle, then at Japan who simply shrugged. Raising the bottle to his lips, Austria took a little taste. Once the liquid slid down his throat he held back a cough.

"Oh~! I forgot to mention! Unlike usual Russian wodka, it is not watered down. I got it from a... friend of mine. Much stronger, da~?" Russia grinned chugged his bottle down.

The taste of the beverage was bitter and it burned his throat, making it seem dry and scratchy. Austria instantly felt a wave of dizziness after the little sip. "Y-yes... much stronger…" Japan gave a slight smile and nodded before having a bit more of the drink.

"Ufufu, Mr. Austria. You have a funny look on your face."

Austria set the barely touched bottle on the table in front of him. "I-I've had enough..."

Russia grabbed Austria's discarded bottle and shoved it toward him. "Now, Mr. Austria, this is a little gathering we rarely have. I will not let you leave until this bottle is empty." He removed yet another vodka bottle from his cloak and began drinking that as well.

Austria's stomach hurt. He wasn't used to the taste of alcohol and he didn't want to force it on himself. "N-no Russia. I can't..."

"Excuse me... but, this is Austria's house, Russia..."

"Da, Japan. You are correct about that. But neither of you are going to leave this room until this is finished." Japan nodded, a little nervously, and then took another sip of his vodka.

Russia patted his spicket lying next to him. "Now, Mr. Austria. I don't want to use force." Austria, not wanting to get hit with the pipe, but still being stubborn, handed his bottle to the Russian man "Here...you can drink it"

"Kolkolkol..."

"W-what?"

"Do not worry, Mr. Austria. I have plenty." He searched inside his cloak and began taking out numerous vodka bottles. "I have plenty~" Japan almost choked on his current sip as the pile of vodka nearby Russia increased. A purple aura surrounded Russia. "We are going to finish all of this, da"?

"N-no...I can't..."

"I'm sure you will find a way, Mr. Austria." Russia paused and looked at the two. "You know, piano strings, if applied correctly, can cut a person's throat." He patted Austria's shoulder. "At least that's what I've heard. I'm sure you don't want to forcefully ripping out your piano's strings to test this theory, da~?"

Ignoring Russia's previous statement, Austria looked at the nation with a glare "Russia, I'm sorry, but the only way you'll get me to drink even one bottle of vodka is to shove it down my throat..."

Russia grinned. "Okay~" He grabbed Austria's bottle and proceeded to pour it down Austria's throat. "I do not think it taste as good this way, Mr. Austria, da? But it seems to be my only choice."

"Russia, why are you-" Japan interjected, but was interrupted by Austria's sound of surprise.

Austria yelped at Russia's actions, trying to move away, but the nation's power overpowered his "Unhand me!"

Russia thrusts another bottle toward Japan. " Kolkolkol, I do not think you wish to be next, da? Drink up." Japan gulped, but nodded, taking swigs of the vodka. After Austria's bottle was empty, Russia carefully put it down on the table. He reached for another one to continue the funneling. "Nyet." The alcohol burned as it traveled down his throat. Before he could say anything, Russia was already forcing him to drink another bottle. The two nations realized they would be here for quite some time with the creepy violet-eyed nation. They panicked, hoping someone up there would hear their prays and help them.

Just then, a thrashing on the door sounded around the room, and a sickly sweet voice could be hear, although somewhat muffled, calling into the house. "Oh, big bruder..."

As that bottle was drained and Russia reached for another one, Austria's vision blurred and he hiccupped once, his eyes becoming half lidded. Russia began to grab another bottle, but froze, his smile disappearing instantly.

"Oh..." He thrusts another bottle into Austria's throat (which is surely going to hurt in the morning) and stood up. "W-well, it appears as though I have something I need to take care of, da? I'll see you two soon," he stared at Austria. "And we can be sure to try this again."

Russia left the room and began briskly striding down the hallway. He was irritated he couldn't finish the meeting. He so very wanted to see Austria drunk. Suddenly struck with an idea, he whipped out his phone and dialed a number he only used for emergencies. He waited for a few rings, and then an upset voice picked up on the other end. "Hello? Like, who the heck is calling me at this hour?"

Poland was sitting at his dresser when his commie "friend" called. "So like, let me get this straight for a sec. You want me to barge into the piano playing aristocrat's house, and then force him to chug wodka 'til he's totally stoned."

Russia made a huffy sound. "Da. Just until I return."

Poland narrowed his eyes, until he remembered Russia couldn't see them. He tugged on a loose strand of hair. "K. So like, what do I get out of this?"

He could practically hear Russia grinning. "You get a drunken Austrian."

Meanwhile at Austria's, Japan was comforting the sick looking nation who was leaning on his shoulder in order to steady himself. When the air grew calm and quiet, Austria sighed in relief, glad to not be forced to drink alcohol.

However, at that moment, Italy burst through the door with a worried look on his face "Germany, Germany! Are you in here!"

Japan sighed. "No, Italy, he's not here... Just Austria and I." Italy sighed, he had been looking for Germany all day.

Austria's stomach panged with sickness and he turned pale and started sweating, with only his cheeks starting to turn red "Japan..." He held a hand to his stomach "I'm not...feeling too well..."

Japan sighed. "I can see why. Listen, can you think of anything that might help?"

Meanwhile Poland arrived at Austria's house dressed in a simple pink polo and skinny jeans. He was carrying as much vodka as he could, along with his man-purse, which was also stuffed with bottles of the drink. Being that he is... well, Poland, he first noticed the giant hole in the window and decided to enter that way.

"Umm, pasta always makes me feel better" Italy replied, with a worried look on his face.

Japan shook his head. "That wouldn't exactly work in this situation, Italy."

Poland surveyed his surroundings. He heard talking coming from nearby, and began walking in that direction.

"Oh, okay, well, Japan, have you seen Germany?"

Japan shook his head. "No, I haven't."

Italy looked at the ground "Oh, I wanted to make pasta with wurst, but I'm not sure how to make some, but I knew Germany did, but I can't find him"

Suddenly, Poland rushed into the room, startling all three nations, and causing Austria's stomach to somersault. "S'up, homies? Po in the house!"

Japan sighed. "Alright, well... would you mind helping me with Austri-" Japan turned to face the room's new addition. Austria managed to turn his head in Poland's direction and he squinted, his vision blurred.

"Oh, hi Poland, do you know where Germany is? I can't find him."

"No, Italy, I haven't seen your boyfr- Uh, ally. And if I had, his capital would, like, so be Warsaw." Italy looked at the ground, clearly disappointed. Poland took a look at Austria and gasped rather girlishly. "Whoa, Aristocrat. Dude. You look totally wasted."

"Sh-shut up..." Poland shook his head, remembering his mission.

"Kay-kay, any who... You wouldn't believe what I brought!" He sang the last few words. Then he reached inside his bag and smiled cheerfully as he pulled out a bottle. "Wodka!" Poland, still grinning like the cross-dressing idiot that is his, passed around bottles. He even gave one to Italy, thinking the more the merrier, plus I hear Ita-chan is totally fun when drunk.

Austria face palmed "Not the vodka..."

Poland smiled brightly and looked at the glum Italy. "Ita-chaaaan..." Poland said. "I'm trying to get Austria hi- Uh, like... have a good time with my homies. We can search for him later. Plus..." He looked around. "This could totally be classified as a party." At the sound of that, Italy lightened up and smiled, brimming with joy.

Japan's face contorted with worriment. "Please, Poland, that's not the best idea. Austria still isn't feeling well from the last few bottles..."

Poland shook his finger at Japan. "Too bad, we're drinking all night, baby. He just needs to man up." After he said this, Poland looked at Italy. "Kay. Drink up, Ita. We're going sky high." He popped the lid off his bottle. Japan stared at Poland strangely, then sighed.

"Umm, ok, but I need you to open mine" Italy replied, with a worried half-smile plastered to his face.

Poland sighed and popped Italy's lid. "I won't have to do this for you, right Austria? Or are you just, like, being super slow." Austria thought for a second. Why would Poland bring vodka to his house? He knew that Poland didn't drink the beverage often...Then it hit him.

The aristocrat stood, shakily making his way over to Poland before slapping him across the face. "Russia...he told you to do this didn't he?"

"Who wants some pasta? It's not a party without Pasta! Italy said, warming up, "I can make spaghetti, rotini, angel hair, or-" Italy went off, talking and talking about pasta, when he again got interrupted by Poland and Austria.

Poland whimpered at Austria's slap. "Wh-what? Why would I listen to that loser? I just..." He stopped, his mind completely blank. How was he going to get out of this one? "I thought... it might be, like, nice to bring some. You're always so stern and orderly, Austria..." He stopped at looked up at the browned-haired nation, his eyes pleading. In his head, of course, he was laughing. He was a great actor. Now he just had to wait for the perfect moment.

"That's very nice of u Poland! So, how about some pasta?" Italy said.

"Pasta... No, I'm sorry, I was only told about Aus- I-I mean, I didn't know you'd be here." He nodded to Japan. "Or this kid." Japan opened his mouth to speak but decided against it.

Austria heard his stutter, glaring at the nation sternly when he turned back to face him, however some of the intimidation was lessened as Austria cringed when another wave of sickness stirred in his stomach "I-I know you're lying Poland... hic " He covered his mouth in surprise as the hiccup escaped his lips.

Now or never, Poland thought. He grabbed a bottle, and shoved it into Austria's mouth. "I'm not leaving 'til I get some BA results, man." Austria had a sudden wave of deja vu and groaned.

Italy started laughing his feminine laugh, left over from when he was an adorable, gender-neutral chibi-thing, in love with a great empire. As the aristocrat tried to speak, some of the drink spilled down his chin and he instantly closed his mouth again to avoid becoming a mess. (not that he wasn't already) He grabbed the bottle from his lips and looked at its contents. A thin line of the drink was still at the bottom, and Austria hiccupped again, dropping the bottle to the floor, where the little bit of vodka spilled and stained the carpet. Poland surveyed him with distaste. "God, Austria. We are so, like, having makeover night." Could he get any more drunk? Poland thought and giggled. Oh well, at least Ita-chan is being enthusiastic about this. "Mr. Austria, you spilled some of your vodkaaa" Italy said, as he took a big swig of his own. He looked at Japan. Japan was just sitting there, thinking over the situation and how to get Poland to stop.

Meanwhile somewhere in Russia, Russia sat polishing his pipe. He had escaped Belarus successfully. Suddenly, he looked up. "I feel as though... Someone his enjoying a bottle of vodka somewhere, da?" He smiled and continued polishing.

"I wonder where Russia is he looooves vodkaaaa, hee hee~." Italy giggled. Japan shook his head, wondering if he was one of the only nations who could stay sober after drinking. Austria's already red cheeks became more vibrant as the alcohol took over the aristocrat's mind. He started to sway back and forth on his heels and another hiccup escaped his throat, this one louder than before. His glasses fogged over and sweat ran down his forehead. He brought a hand up to his head, which was starting to feel lighter each second he stood. Poland grinned. He was glad the Polish had awesome drinking genes. He only felt a bit wobbly. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, depends on how you look at this), Austrians and Italians did not.

"Come oon Polaaand, Have s'more vodkaaa~" Italy slurred his words, not noticing he was drunk. He leaned over, and tipped Poland's drink, splashing it all over his "manly" pink shirt.

Poland squealed. "Itaaaaaa, totally not awesome." He hit Italy in the arm.

Japan thought over what to do, noticing Poland was still sober. "Everyone, don't you think it would be a good idea to stop drinking now?"

"No, Japan. We're totally fiiiine." He looked sadly down at his vodka stained shirt.

Austria staggered over to Poland and put an arm around his shoulder. "Hey Poland~" His speech was slurred and his voice cracked as he spoke "You got s'more of that...vodka stuff?"

Poland instantly forgot he was upset. "HELL YEAH, AUSTRIA! Now we're talking!" He reached into his man purse and pulled out a few bottles. "Enjoy~" Austria grabbed two of the glass bottles, popped them open and chugged one down in one swing, doing the same with the other. Some of the vodka spilled down his chin and onto the carpet.

Italy's popped up next to Japan, "Why aren't you drinking any? This stuff's gooooood" Italy, slurred his speech more and more, finishing his third bottle.

Japan sighed. "Because I've had my quota for the day."

"Come ooon Japaaan" Italy got up, and staggered over to where Japan was sitting, slumped on his lap, and shoved a bottle of vodka in his mouth.

Japan's eyes widened, but he adjusted to the shock, got the bottle away from Italy's grasp, and put it on the ground beside him. "No, Italy." Italy simply pouted, and staggered on his wobbly legs back to his seat and sat down.

Poland laughed. "This is so totally fun!" He took out his cell phone and began dialing.

"Da, what do you want"?

"Russia!" Poland shrieked.

"Oh... It's you Poland." Russia paused uncomfortably. "You sound drunk. This makes me think you succeeded, da?"

Italy suddenly felt funny, he fell off his chair, and on the way down, he knocked Poland's cell phone out of his hands, and it went spiraling away, and it took Poland a few seconds to realize that his phone was missing, and staggered off to retrieve his phone. Italy muttered an apology as he saw a blurred Poland go after his phone, and just laid there, in a little heap of a country

Russia stared at the phone. "He succeed." He muttered and got up to join the 'fun'.

Poland reached down to grab his phone and held it up to his ear only to find that Russia hung up.

Austria tore away from the scene and staggered over to Japan, sitting next to the nation. He put his elbow on Japan's shoulder and opened another vodka bottle, emptying it in seconds. "Japaaaan~" Austria leaned his head in the direction of Japan, his breath smelling of strong alcohol.

Japan winced at both Austria's breath and slurred way of saying his name. "Y-yes?"

"What are you doing sitting on the couch? You need to hic " Austria paused for a second, swaying back and forth before continuing. "Need to join in the fun" With that said, he grabbed Japan's hands in his and spun him around, making both of them dizzy. The aristocrat let go of the nation's hands, spinning in another direction which caused him to crash into the wall and pull himself up again, giggling drunkenly.

Japan found himself having to focus to keep himself steady, then sitting back on the couch. "I would prefer not to, Austria. Someone needs to stay sober-" with a glance at Poland, he added, "Someone who isn't encouraging everyone else to be drunk, that is."

Poland giggled like a crazy man. A few more sips, and he broke down. Screw Polish alcohol genes, he was drunk. He grabbed Japan, who was looking very distressed, and shook the bottle in his face. "C'mooon, Japaaaan." He whined, slurring his words so much that you could hardly understand him. "You're being, like, suuuch a buzzzzkill today... Driiink, maaan."

Japan shook his head. "Somebody needs to stay sane." He sighed, trying to think of a way to get the others to stop.

"Look on the bright side... if I don't drink, you can all drink as much as you want..." He thought to himself how they couldn't possibly get more drunk then they currently were, but he hoped that due to that they wouldn't realize that crucial fact.

Austria put his elbow on Poland's shoulder, acting very much out of character in his intoxicated state "But then yooou can't have fuuuun~. Right Poland?" He looked up at the drunk nation.

Poland nodded. The action almost made him fall over. "Yeah, Japaaan, bro... I brought, like..." He swooped his arms up like a bird, nearly knocking Austria over. "thiiiis much. You're totally hic... being boring."

Japan shook his head. "I'll drink one bottle, but no more."

When Japan shook his head again, the aristocrat pouted, but then a goofy smile was replaced with it instantly. "Pfft, fiiine"

"Come on Japan, have some more~" Italy said, with an unusually scary face.

"I said I would!" he said loudly, wondering if Italy was too drunk or just not paying attention. He sighed, shook his head, and took another bottle. He drank it calmly, but finished it quickly. Then, looking around, he said, "There."

Speaking of scary faces, a large crash pierced through the chattering of the four nations. It sounded like... a window breaking….again.

Austria was the first to react to the sound, not noticing that Japan had drained the bottle "Russsiaaaaa~"

Russia straightened, surveying the scene. Poland had gotten himself drunk. Austria was drunk as hell. Italy was acting basically the same as always; drunk. The odd one out was Japan. He wasn't cracking.

Russia's smile disappeared. "Japan. You aren't drinking?"

"I am, but I just finished."

Italy then came up to the Russian man and smiled. "Hey Russia~ Why don't you have some vodka~?"

"Have some vodka Russiaaaa~" Austria swayed a bit and giggled before taking another sip and hiccupping.

Russia's grin returned. "Certainly, Italia and Austria. I'd love some." He glared at Japan. "And so would you, da"?

"I would, but I've already had... four? bottles." He sighed. "I'd prefer to stay sober, Russia."

Poland jumped up. "No waaay, Russia. You're too, like, boring when you drink." His voice was unnaturally high-pitched at this point. And Japaaaan, you're missing out. We won't turn you lose until you're having fun!"

He sighed. "What if I am having fun staying sane?"

Poland ignored him, and began singing Friday at the mentioning of "fun". Italy started singing Friday too, in Italian, even if nobody could understand him, he was having fun with it, singing at the top of his lungs. Austria after listening to Poland sing the song for a few moments, staggered over to him, draped an arm around his shoulder, and sung with him. Japan stared at them, wondering why they would enjoy singing such a horrible song. He found himself singing along after a minute or so, and he quickly stopped himself, wondering if it was catchy or he wasn't as sober as he thought.

"Zabava,Zabava, Zabava, Zabava~" Russia cheered and grabbed Japan's arm, pulling him into the group.

"C'mon, Japan, sing with us," Italy said, "I know you knoow it~" Japan sighed, and sang along a little more.

Austria slapped Japan's back, making his voice crack in the process "Come ooon Jaaapan~ Prussia can sing better than yoooou~ HIC " Japan sighed once more, and started singing, this time loudly, though his Engrish was more noticeable when he turned the volume of his voice higher.

Poland laughed. "Yeaaah, but I sing hic better than any of you."

Austria's eye twitched at this "I bet you can't sing better 'an me HIC "

Poland made a small, drunk noise of disagreement. "Noooooo waaaaay, aristocrat dude. I could, like, kick your butt across Warsaw. Any sooong..."

"Pffffftt...Proooove it"

"Siiiinging Conteeeest~" Italy sang

Poland laughed harshly. "How's aboooouuuut..." He searched through his phone's song bank. "Caramelldansan."

As Austria drained his 10th bottle, he replied "You're so oooon you Polish git!~"

"Imma teh juuudge!" Italy cried.

Poland yelled, "You're on, aristocrat'! And hit the play button. The synthesized beat began, and everyone swayed in tune. As the song started to play, Austria's vision blurred slightly, but he dismissed it, along with the headache forming and pressuring his mind. Russia surveyed the scene from the couch. Caramelldansen... That was another one of Sweden's creepy songs oh his, right? This should be very interesting...

Poland started up, singing in a voice that sounded as though he has inhaled helium.

"Hee-hee, Austria, you look funny hic, hic! " Italy said, paying no attention to Poland. Austria started to sing, his voice a little hoarse but still melodious. Poland's cheeks turned red. He was a fine singer normally. But he'd gone over the top, and was horribly off-key. He hoped Italy would remember their friendship as children and vote for him anyway. A few hiccups escaped Austria's lips, causing him to slip up a bit, but he continued, the words spilling from his mouth and slurring a bit.

His singing experience that came with being an Italian, Italy looked at Poland and cried, "Poland's off keeey~!" Poland glared at Italy and sung a bit quieter. He'd so make his capital Warsaw later. He knew he'd lost before the song had even ended. Somehow, even when drunk, Austria could still sing. The song finally ended, both the nations out of breath, sweating slightly, and rosy cheeked. Both of them looked at Italy, though they already knew who had won.

Russia clapped, his gloves muffling the sound. "I dislike both of you, but that was still nice, da?"

"Weeeell! Mr. Austria was awwwesome, and Poland, you were great, but waaaaaay off key~," Italy said, still slurring his words, "My decision is final~," Italy took out his pure as snow white flag, just in case, and told the answer "Mr. Austria wiiins~, and your prize," Italy said, as he held something behind his back, "Is another bottle of Vodkaaa!" he cried at the top of his lungs. Japan's eye twitched as he looked at Italy, trying to make sense of what the nation just said. He just sighed when he saw the prize. Poland got all huffy after that. He grabbed a bottle of vodka and began chugging it.

Austria yanked the bottle from Italy's hands, draining it in a number of seconds from thirst. After he wiped his lips on his coat, which was going to leave a stain later, he looked at Poland in triumph. "HAH! See? I TOLD you I was better!"

Japan debated trying to stop the fight that was bound to happen next, but wasn't sure how. When two countries were drunk, they were... well, drunk. "You two, we shouldn't start fighting-" When the two started to shout at each other again, he sighed and figured he shouldn't waste his breath.

After a while, Poland's temper shot up, causing him to grasp his bottle firmly, and hit Austria upside the head. After the bottle hit his head, a shock went through Austria's body, causing his face to become one of no emotion and his eyes to roll back before he fell forward and hit the floor face first. Poland turned around, and was about to smack Italy when Russia grabbed the bottle out of his hand.

"AHHH! YOU KILLED AUSTRIA!" Italy cried, scared as hell.

Poland cracked up at Austria. "You... you weak aristocrat!" He cackled as if he won some contest. He swept up a few vodka bottles in his arms and left via broken window.

Japan stepped forward to try to calm Italy down, "I think he just fainted- it might be a good thing..." He then shook his head, "I think you all will have a horrible hangover in the morning," Japan stated flatly as he stared at the scene in front of him.

Russia stared at the heap that lay in the center of the room. "Nyet, Italia. He's not dead. But it is indeed a very bad thing." Why in God's name was he still smiling? "He will most likely soon die of alcohol poisoning. That is what happens when you faint while drunk, after all, da"? Japan's eye twitched.

Russia hauled Austria's body of the ground and slung him over his back. "We must get him to the hospital to get his stomach pumped, if he is to live, da"?

"Umm, da?" Italy replied, suddenly a bit sober.

Japan nodded. "Yes, that's a good idea."

Russia's smile darkened somewhat. "Quite painful, I hear, da? I shall enjoy watching." Japan's eyes widened at the last remark, but he didn't comment. And thus, the group of nations walked out of the house (using the door for once).

When they got outside, Russia threw the Austrian in his car's truck, slamming it shut with a loud noise. Italy thought he heard a grunt coming from Russia's car, but he decided to leave it be, whatever made that sound. Italy hopped in the front seat, and motioned for Japan to get in as well.

Japan followed, hands in his lap as he looked at the trunk nervously. "Is that the best place for him to be?"

Russia looked at Japan and thought about that. "I don't want him next to me, if that's what you're thinking. He smells homeless. And drunk."

Everyone strapped in, and Russia started up the engine, forgetting that, despite not acting like it, he was drunk. He turned on the radio, and the speakers began to play some funky Khorovod stuff. Japan was about to comment on how they shouldn't be driving after their little vodka-fest, but the car was already on the road.

"Hey Russia! i found some bottles of vodka on the floor! Want one!" Italy asked, as he watch as Russia out on some pretty badass sunglasses.

Russia looked back at Italy. "It's still full"?

Japan's eyes widened. "Russia! Eyes on the road! Eyes on the road!" Russia turned back just in time to avoid hitting another vehicle, causing the car to rock a little forcefully. After a while, everything grew a bit normal. Russia hummed along with the music, and all was mostly peaceful for the ride down to the hospital, Japan looked outside, and Italy kept chugging the extra vodka down until there weren't any left.

Once they had arrived, everyone stumbled out of the car and approached the trunk. It was a fishy-looking scene, and Russia made it even fishier as he yanked out Austria's limp body from the trunk. A few people started staring, naturally assuming the odd group of drunkards has a dead body with them. Italy began waving to the passer bys.

They entered the hospital and walked up the receptionist. They awkwardly motioned to the unconscious body that Russia was carrying on his shoulder. The lady at the front desk shrank away from them. She got people like this all the time, having wild parties and getting drunk. She wrinkled her nose at the smell of alcohol. What were they drinking, vodka? She thought. The woman looked at Austria's limp body. His clothes were wrinkled and loose, his hair tousled, and he wasn't moving.

She looked up at Russia, her expression one of slight annoyance. "Time of death sir?" Japan's eyes widened at the comment and he considered speaking, until realizing that she was not talking to him and he shouldn't interrupt.

Russia smiled. "Oh, no, ma'am. He's not dead. He will be soon though..." He was still smiling, but more so in a creepy-threatening way. "...Unless we check him into a room, da?" She slowly nodded, her previous comment being a joke. She did the thing that receptionists do and soon a couple of doctors came from a long hallway from the right. They walked up to her, their expressions unreadable because of the masks covering their faces. She gestured to the four nations, and they nodded and motioned for them to follow. Italy thanked the lady, Russia grinned like a creeper, and they headed after her. The room they got to was cold and bare. Russia had to duck to get in (Because he's so damn tall) and Austria's body hit the side of the door frame with a soft thump. That was going to hurt later. The poor, drunk aristocrat.

The lady continued to stare at the strange bunch. "Yeah... yeah, right there- Careful!" In the end, Russia threw Austria's body onto the bed harshly, which caused Italy to break out in a fit of giggles. Japan winced at Austria's body falling on the bed, especially when it... bounced. She sighed. "Yeah, okay. Fine. Be like that. We'll take care of him. Now could you, uh, please... leave?" The woman was glaring up at Russia, who was glaring back at her, a dark aura filling the room. Japan sweat dropped in the background.

"Kolkolkol, we plan on staying right here, da?" She flinched. D-did he just... laugh? The Russian man made himself comfortable in a chair next to the bed and began setting up a video camera. Italy bounced on his feet for a few seconds and then went to flirt with the nurses down the hall. The doctors looked at each other quietly for a long moment, and then started on the job of pumping Austria's stomach.

All was mostly peaceful for the following hour or so. Italy finally did come back into the room, and plopped himself down next to Russia, seeing as this would take a while.

Russia turned to him. "Oh, by the way Italia..." He rummaged in his coat for a bit, finally pulling out something. "I brought a little something to pass the time, da?" Italy grinned at took it from him. Japan flinched. If this was vodka- He popped the lid. And thus... The cycle continued.

Epilogue

Dim light filtered through the small window at the top of the hospital bed. Austria found himself opening his eyes groggily to his unknown surroundings. He reached up to his nose, felt for his glasses, and found that they weren't there. The aristocrat huffed. He hated when he didn't know where his glasses were. He dug his elbows into the bed sheets and pulled himself up, immediately regretting it as huge pangs of pain surged through his head and stomach.

He flopped back down, holding his stomach tightly as the pain made it pulse. "D-dammit...Why can't I remember anything?" He looked to his right, where the sleeping forms of Russia and Italy sat in chairs, Japan in another chair by the corner. "Japan..." It hurt to talk and his voice was hoarse and groggy, but the little noise allowed Japan to sleepily open both eyes and stretch.

"Yes, Austria?" He asked; quiet to make sure he did not wake up the others.

"What the hell happened yesterday?..." His stomach had calmed down somewhat, and he let go of it, though it didn't stop his breathing from becoming more rapid and short. He swallowed a lump in his throat, scared to know what he had done to get himself into this state.

Japan may have chuckled slightly if he didn't feel bad for the other nation's condition. "Well, Austria, you got a little... intoxicated." Austria shot up at this, clutching this stomach again with a groan. However, he didn't lie down again.

He weakly looked at Japan. "...a little?"

Japan sighed. "A lot."

The aristocrat groaned again as pain racked his insides. He cringed, bending over in an attempt to ease it. "D-dammit..." Japan hurried to his side and made him lay down again, much to his discomfort.

Japan sighed. "I wonder if the others will have as bad of a hangover."

Russia's head shot up at the mentioning of himself and Italy, as if he'd never fallen asleep. "Nyet, Mr. Austria," He grinned one of those fake smiles at him. "We're nothing compared to you, da?"

Austria shot a weak glare at the nation, sweat running down his face "I wouldn't be in this condition if it weren't for you" The words were poison, spat at the Russian with pure hatred.

Russia laughed. "Nyet, it was both of us. Both me and Poland. And you of course. You, apparently, aren't as uptight and orderly as we all assumed, da?"

Austria suddenly got a burst of strength. He tore away from Japan's comforting hand and threw himself at the Russia, tackling him to the ground and slapping him. "Don't you even speak of it" Austria's aura engulfed him, before disappearing as his head pounded. Russia acted as though Austria was nothing more than a fly, and pushed him off with ease. He brought something out of his cloak, caressing it lovingly. A camera? Why does he have a-

"Hungary will speak of it again, da? She'll love it." Austria's confused face became one of horror. He ran to seize the electronic device, failing as Russia held his face in his palm. The aristocrat struggled, trying with all his might to reach for the camera, Russia's height being a definite advantage. He finally resulted in punching his stomach while complaining like the spoiled aristocrat he was. Russia laughed loudly, waking up Italy, who muttered something about wursts and pasta. He staggered up and reached for the door. Russia tossed the camera to him, and Italy caught it, drowsily staring at the device.

"Run, Italia! Run! To Germany's!" Russia yelled. Austria stopped punching the Russian and tried to run up to the still groggy Italian.

"No, Italy wa- gack!" Russia caught the collar of Austria's coat and pulled him back, sustaining him with his arms. This caused the Austrian to start struggling fiercely, desperate to break himself free "DAMMIT RUSSIA! LET GO OF ME!"

"Kolkolkolkol, not a chance." He turned to make sure Italy was on his way. That boy could run when he felt like it. He had to put his trust in him. Japan, while all this was happening, was sitting in his chair examining his nails, not caring for a fraction of a second what those idiots did. Austria finally managed to wriggle out of his coat, much to Russia's surprise and ran after Italy as fast as he could. The Russian stood dazed for a moment, still registering what had happened, before speeding off himself, leaving Japan to leave the hospital, and pay the bill.

FIN