Just a drabble that hit me while reading a story in the Washington Post called: Are Underoos Evil. Giggled hysterically then this came out...
I own nothing - not even my own pair of Underoos. Which are copyrighted by Fruit of the Loom.
Underoos Are Evil…
Sam had no idea when she first got her first pair of underoos, they would change her life. She had always wanted to be a princess or a ballerina or a plumber (that dream came about from watching water spurt out of the busted pipe in the kitchen, turning it into a mini pool she and her brother had stomped through in their rubber boots and requiring they ate out for weeks until the plumber fixed everything and her dad practically kissed him). Then her mom handed her the package with Wonder Woman on the front and her life just flipped on its side for the first time. Wonder Woman could beat up bad guys – Wonder Woman had no fear – Wonder Woman could fly – in a JET. That was invisible! She didn't wait for a man to come and rescue her like those stupid princesses in the fairy tale books. Sam wanted to be Wonder Woman – and when she slipped on those underoos, she was.
They also got her into a lot of trouble. She couldn't, for the life of her, figure out why she was banned from her tool chest for running around the neighborhood in her underoos and a red towel. It had to be the fact it was the good guest towel with tiny roses on the edge. Or why her father went white when he found her jumping off the swing set, determined to see if she could fly. At her age, she didn't understand the meaning of the word invincible, but she knew what it felt like whenever she got her underoos back, hot from the dryer.
Sam grew older; the underoos faded then tore, then had to be tossed out. She pitched a serious fit which included throwing items, and her mother, rolled her eyes and declared, "Oh for…Sam, darling, anything so loved will always be with you." Sam was too young to understand dripping sarcasm.
She thought back to that moment when her father returned home on a stormy night and flipped her world upside down. She mentally slipped on her long forgotten Wonder Woman shield and whispered to herself, "I am invincible." The shield rarely went down afterwards.
Time went by and her underwear options became more sophisticated. She discovered how thongs had their own power – they could reduce a man to a speechless fool within moments. But when she saw the wonder woman bikini briefs and boy shorts at the mall, she bought every single pair. So when she went through the gate now, she smiled to herself. Sam was invincible, Sam was Wonder Woman, Sam had big girl underoos.