Well, the Internet has apparently taken a sick day (on my day off, too…) so I decided to get to typing this…thing. Vignette, I suppose. I've wrote it quite a while back and said I would have it up soon on my site…
Of course, I'm notorious for sticking to my promises…
Anyway, don't worry about new chapters or anything. This one is a one-shot deal.
Note: If you're not that quick or don't know much about LotR, the Tombs of Kings are halls where all the Kings of Gondor are laid to rest on nice beds. Cheese Doodles are a crunchy, artificially flavored junk food smothered in cheesy powder.
In a time long ago…There was a king, and his queen…
But all that's well can end pretty crappily later…So begins
The End of Aragorn
A sad tale of men, dreams, loss, and cheese snacks…
And so, the land flourished with life, and all things grew in the fair and just rule of Aragorn with his Queen, Arwen; even the weeds flourished under their rule, which occasionally annoyed gardeners, but kept 'em skinny, need to move around a bit, gettin' fat anyway, so to Hell with it, let it all grow.
But Queen Arwen had heard that that boy-pretty-elf-kitty Legolas was back in town, and he had ditched smelly Gimli somewhere in the West (with lots of elf-women, it was rumored), making him utterly irresistible to all women who had husbands more than 300 years old with hair growing out their ears (namely, Arwen being one of these women).
So she told him there was a bag of Cheese Doodles hidden under the covers of a bed in the Tombs of Kings, which sent him running (of course! —he'd go to the pits of Moria for Cheese Doodles, but to buy some aspirin at the corner store for her when she had a splitting headache brought about by Gandalf thinking he had to yell to be heard during those long-distance calls—and what a chatterbox that Gandalf was—could he do that? No. Flex for Eowyn, sure, but get aspirin—forget it!)
Slowly, dust settled on the bed, as Aragorn apparently couldn't find the promised bag of cheese snacks somewhere under the covers, but he was patient. He would find his cheese snacks—he was sure of that. Arwen came before him.
"I'm leaving."
"Oh." Aragorn stopped searching for his snacks for a moment. Who was that again, speaking just now? Oh yes. Arwen. Right…Now back to the cheese snacks, that Arwen was always going somewhere, anyway, she was.
"I mean forever."
"I see." Aragorn paused again, in heavy thought. Wait! She can't leave! She's important…I think. Why, again? Um…Oh yes! She did the groceries. Cheese snacks. Mmm…
"Well? Aren't you going to say something?" Was Arwen whining again? "You just care about your cheese snacks, huh? Well—hear this! They're not there!"
GASP! Arwen had lied—worst of all, about cheese snacks! His heart couldn't take this—no cheese snacks? And no one to do the groceries! He reeled, spinning about, realizing the world was spinning too…Spinning…Like a doodle…Cheese…Mmm…Doodles clouded his mind and clogged his arteries.
Arwen held Aragorn's hand for a moment. Maybe he had cared more for her than she had thought. Oh well. Legolas was waiting for her. And the way Aragorn was slobbering on her finger was strangely reminiscent of some obsession of his.
THE END