We're All Mad Here
A BTTF: Trilogy Story
By Flaming Trails
Disclaimer: I don't own BTTF. If I did, we might have seen more of Hell Valley. I'm a sucker for angst.
Notes: Written for the October06 backtothefanfic LJ challenge. My costume for Halloween in 2006 was American McGee's Alice, so I was in a very "Alice in Wonderland" mood when I wrote this. My friend Lisa provided the answer to the riddle, while the teapot with legs comes from desktop art for American McGee's Alice. If you want to see one of Marty's strange Wonderland dreams, see prompt 24 of my Drabbles88 fan fiction challenge, "Drink." (LJ memories, prompt writers -- look for Drabbles88 Official Start) And if you want to see Doc's costume (minus the bow tie), I did an illustration at my devART account.
Saturday, October 31st, 1988
Hill Valley
6:32 P.M.
He looked very odd in a top hat.
Especially a large, purple one.
On a lark, he tried balancing it on his nose. He failed utterly, of course, and the hat toppled to the floor. Sighing, Doc picked it up and stuck it back on his head, then took another look at himself in the mirror. Not only was it odd to see himself in a top hat, it was odd to see himself in Victorian clothing without actually being in the appropriate century. He liked his old Victorian wardrobe, of course, but it didn't exactly lend itself to the time he currently lived in.
Except on Halloween.
He did a slow turn. He had on a pumpkin orange shirt, black vest and pants with red slashes at the pockets, blood red bow tie, brown shoes, and of course the purple top hat. The pants, vest, and bow tie were all from his closet -- he'd had them made one Halloween back in 1886, just for fun. The shirt and shoes he'd bought at a bargain place a few days ago. The hat had been a gift from Marty just yesterday -- he'd found it at Wal-Mart. "I know you had a black one already, Doc, but when I saw this one, I just had to get it for you," the teen had explained. "Better than boring old black, right?"
Doc smiled. Actually, it was. After all, what Mad Hatter would actually wear an outfit that matched all over? Pulling it low over his eyes, he regarded his reflection with interest. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"
"Because Edgar Allen Poe wrote on both?"
Doc started, then turned around to see Marty smirking at him. The teen was dressed up as the White Rabbit -- white bunny ears set on a headband, red waistcoat, white pants with a pinned on tail, and furry bunny feet over a pair of old sneakers. He spun his pocket watch idly. "Yeah, I knew that purple one would be better. You look almost like you did in those crazy dreams of mine."
Doc shook his head. "Of all the people I would have chosen to say, 'Let's do Alice In Wonderland for our Halloween theme this year,' you were one of the last."
"Blame my college English teacher. It's actually a really interesting book. Insane, but interesting."
"I know, I read it when I was younger." He glanced back in the mirror. "Never really pictured myself as the Hatter, though."
"Come on, Doc, it totally fits! The original Hatter was based off an inventor! Some guy named Theophilus Carter -- invented an alarm clock bed."
Doc smiled. "Well, even still. . . ."
"Emmett!"
Clara appeared in the doorway, eyes wide. "Emmett, why does our teapot have legs?" she demanded.
"See?" Marty smirked. "Perfect fit!"
"It's a temporary modification," Doc quickly assured his wife. "Just a stand for the teapot to sit on. I figured, since we're stuck at six o'clock and can't get up to make more tea ourselves, it would be useful to have a teapot who could do it for us. I'll take it off as soon as we're done."
Clara nodded, relaxing. "I see. Sorry for overreacting like that. Just -- when it started walking all over the table--"
"George was probably playing with the remote," Doc said. He looked his wife over. She had taken on the role of Alice, complete with blue dress, white apron, and black hair bow. "You know, you make that outfit look entirely too appealing."
Clara smirked. "Well, you make that outfit look entirely too appealing. I rather like you in a hat."
"Really? I think it looks odd."
"You look very distinguished." Clara paused, considering a moment. "Or, you would if the hat wasn't purple."
"You look good, Doc," Marty agreed. "And so do you, Clara. Though I think a few people are going to get confused as to why you're not blonde."
"Oh, there's no way I could have gotten a wig over this hair," Clara said, pulling on a few unruly curls.
"The actual Alice Liddell was a brunette anyway," Doc shrugged. "The dress is the real key to identification. I think we'll be fine."
Lorraine, dressed as the Cheshire Cat, came in, carrying a bawling Martina at arm's length. "Someone needs a diaper change," she announced. "And I did my last diaper roughly 18 years ago."
Clara accepted the stinky baby. "Thanks, I guess. How's Johanna doing?"
"Sleeping," Lorraine said. "George is looking after her -- when he's not playing with that weird teapot."
"I get the feeling he likes that thing a little too much," Doc said, fiddling with his hat so it sat at an angle on his head.
"Definitely." Lorraine checked her watch as Clara took Martina to the bathroom. "When do you think the first trick-or-treaters are going to arrive?"
"Probably soon -- we'd best get down to the garage and make sure we're all set."
Marty grinned. "Oh my paws and whiskers, we wouldn't want to be late!" he exclaimed, doing a rather bad impression of the White Rabbit from the Disney film. He took off down the hall. Laughing, Doc and Lorraine followed him down to the garage.
George was waiting for them, sitting by Johanna's makeshift crib while he played with the spidery teapot. "You wouldn't mind lending me the stand after we're done here, would you?" he greeted Doc, his hare ears waggling with excitement.
Doc smirked. "And suddenly, it becomes all too clear why Marty pegged you as the March Hare." He leaned over the side of the crib. Johanna, dressed like a teapot, was sleeping soundly. "I hope the twins haven't been giving you too much trouble."
"Not until Martina needed a diaper change," George said. "They're pretty well-behaved for infants."
"So were Jules and Verne," Doc replied with a smile.
"If only Dave, Linda, and Marty had been," Lorraine said, earning herself a look from her youngest. "I wish we could have convinced Linda to join in. It just doesn't feel right not to have a Queen of Hearts lurking around."
"You know Linda, Mom," Marty said, playing with his pocket watch again. "She's always gotta do her own thing."
"Even so. . . . At least I know she'll have fun at that party."
"Probably come home with another boyfriend," George nodded. "I have no idea how she keeps track of them all."
Clara came in with a freshly-cleaned Martina and the phone. "Dave just called -- he's leading Jules, Verne, and their friends up to our house now," she reported, getting Martina back into her teacup outfit.
Doc clapped his hands. "Then there's no time to waste! Let's see, we have Alice, Hatter, White Rabbit, March Hare, Cheshire Cat -- where's Jennifer?"
"Here! I'm here!"
Jennifer raced in, frantically fixing her Dormouse costume. "Sorry, I had a little -- well -- feminine issues," she said, blushing.
"Say no more," all three men echoed.
"Oh dear, are you all right?" Clara asked.
"Yeah, damage was minimal." She found her place at the table and sat down.
"George, hand over the remote," Doc said, holding out his hand. George sighed and gave it to the scientist, heading for his own seat. Doc repositioned the teapot in the middle of the table, then made sure the snacks they had gotten -- cupcakes frosted with "EAT ME" and juice boxes labeled "DRINK ME" -- were readily available. "All right, we're set in here."
"Then I guess we'd better get outside," Clara said, smoothing her dress. "Lorraine, you need any help getting into the tree?"
"Nah, I think I can manage." She winked and grinned at George. "Besides, I got lessons in tree-climbing from a master." She sashayed out, ignoring her husband turning a brilliant pink.
"This evening is going to be all about vaguely dirty jokes, isn't it?" Marty said.
"Whenever we can find the time," Doc said, smiling rather insanely. "After all, we're all mad here."
"That's the Cheshire Cat's line."
"Just get into your place, future boy."
The End