A/N: Kamikaze Wraith blackmailed me into writing this. Go blame him.

On the other hand, it does eliminate the threat of the demonic hellforce known as Misty.

The Coffin

Yes, I remember now, all those years ago. And I do mean years; my death must have been… nearly… six centuries past. I was aboard the human ship Nirvana… I don't quite remember… ah yes. We were on the long road home, fighting the entities called Harvesters. Do you know of them? Good. Fighting off repeated attacks by these monsters, we journeyed in the empty depths of space, on the long road home.

It was there we stumbled onto the Pod. Or maybe it was a coffin.

It was just floating in a field of starship debris. Ancient bones and forgotten systems wandered through the remains of the ancient ship Hellsing. Flying through the twisted, ancient metal and forgotten bulkheads, we finally stumbled onto the energy signature we looked for: an ancient escape pod, still transmitting a rescue signal through the ages. The life support, however, had long since broken down.

I do not remember what happened next so well. A flash of combat, a battle for control of the pod, a blade passing through my 'partner's' metallic exterior. Dita's screams.

When I next awoke, I was vaguely aware of something very, very wrong. I was not breathing, for one thing, and I felt cold; very, very cold. Then I noticed that my arm was missing from the elbow down.

Dita… I remember her better, now. Her hair was red, I recall, and her eyes bright. She was very deeply worried about me – "Mr. Alien", she called me. She related the incident; the story of my metamorphosis. She told me, in her own plodding, stream-of-consciousness way, that I had become a vampire, and that I had been asleep for that last week. It began when they hauled me and the pod back to the ship. When they found me, I had lost a lot of blood, so they quickly hooked me up to machines and filled me with medicine. However, the damage ran too deep; I was, slowly yet surely, fading away.

At that point, Doctor McFile took over and related the story of how they opened the ancient pod. He said, and I remember his speech perfectly:

"When Parfait and I cut it open, we fully expected to find a shriveled, ancient corpse, devastated by the ravages of time. Rather, we found a fully intact and quite normal female, albeit in unusual dress. She was, or so we thought, quite dead when found her. No pulse, no respiration. We took her to a cold spot in sickbay designated unofficial 'morgue' and left her there.

"You can imagine my surprise when I returned to find her up and walking about. I immediately attacked her with questions."

When I consumed the soul of Duero McFile, when he lay dieing at the hands of a Millennium missile, I saw that meeting.

-

The captain looked at the girl, impassively. She had bright red eyes and blonde hair, tied back in a practical cut. She wore an ancient, ragged uniform labeled 'HELLSING AGENCY PERSONELL: VICTORIA, SERAS'. B.C. questioned her, circling slowly in the darkened room. I looked through Duero's eyes, watching from the shadows.

"Where do you come from?"

"Britain."

"Where is that? A planet?"

"No. A place on Earth. Things have changed quite a lot, haven't they?"

B.C. ignored the question. "Why are you still alive?"

The girl looked exasperated. "I've told you a hundred times. I am clinically dead. I died… musta been… six hundred years ago, impaled through the chest. I'm a vampire now. See?" She opened her mouth, revealing a row of razor-sharp fangs, designed to rend and maim.

B.C. flashed Duero a strange look. This girl had been insisting on her own death for the past hour and a half, and showed no signs of changing her mind. And, by all medical measurements, she was dead; no heart rate, no breathing, just nerve impulses and the relentless strength of preternatural muscles.

"Alright, who are you, precisely?"

"Seras Victoria, a servant of the Hellsing agency."

"Which is…?"

"We hunt down threats of an unusual nature," she replied, demurely. "Or we used to."

"Such as…?"

"Other vampires."

"Why would you seek to exterminate your own kind?"

"We drink medical blood. We eat animal flesh. We protect humanity. The others tear people apart, devour their organs and drink their life's blood."

"What would compel you to serve humanity?"

"I serve humanity because that is what I always sought to do. I used to be in the police, you know."

The captain raised her hand to indicate enough. They retired into another room, to discuss the matter.

"There is no other way to interpret the data," began Duero. "Everything she says checks out."

"Tt's simply not possible for a person to live without their heart. There must be some mistake."

"She's not alive, clinically speaking."

"Animate, then."

"Whatever the cause, there is no reason to disbelieve what she says."

"And how can we be sure she is truthful in her claims of innocence? She could have destroyed the Hellsing, as opposed to trying to save it."

"Why would she?" Meia's voice floated up from the shadows. "We found the remains of only one ship there, and if she was inside and could somehow slaughter the crew, there was no reason to cause further damage to the ship."

"So you'd have her wander about the ship freely?" B.C. replied.

"Of course not. I am merely saying that she has abilities that can be exploited."

"Oh?" the captain intoned.

Meia stepped forward. "She's already clearly demonstrated herself to have faster reflexes and superior endurance to the average human. Perhaps… she could be slowly integrated into some useful function…"

"What are you suggesting? We actually accept Miss Victoria into our crew?"

Meia snorted. "No. We'll use her, and when she becomes… untrustworthy, we seal her in her coffin and toss her into the depths of space where she came from."

This all happened while I teetered on the edge of death.

-

I'm not sure how it happened – Duero's memories of the time are repressed, and Dita has been vague… But my understanding is that, at some point, Duero decided I was beyond rescue. I had lost much blood and my heart had stopped several times. It was then that Seras approached my battered corpse in sickbay. She said, quite simply, that there was only one way for me to live, and that was to die and join her amongst the ranks of the vampires.

It was Dita who eventually convinced the captain to do as Seras suggested. I am still not sure whether to thank her or curse her for this.

When I next awoke, my body was suspiciously intact. Waiting for me was Dita, Duero, Meia, B.C. and the Captain.

I was not amused.

-

Hibiki pushes himself upright. Looking around the room at the solemn figures, a sudden darkness dawns on his heart.

'Guys? What's up?' There is a silence as everyone considers what to say.

'Hibiki…'

'What?'

'In the pod, we found a vampire.'

There is a silence.

'Huh?'

'We have no other way to explain it,' Duero begins. 'She walks and talks, and yet has neither heart nor breath.'

'This is insane. Maybe I'll wake up soon.'

A girl's voice sounds from behind, speaking with an odd accent. 'No dream.'

Hibiki leaps off the bed and turns to face the new player in the room. 'Who the hell are you?'

A girl is standing there, with blonde hair tied back behind her head, bright red eyes, and a strange blue uniform reading 'HELLSING'.

'Who the hell are you?'

'I'm the vampire they mentioned.' She grins, revealing a row of fangs.

'Why the hell should I believe you?'

'The teeth should be a clue, the eyes…' Seras mused. 'And this,' she added. Taking a small bag of medical blood, she pulled the cap off and began to drink deeply. Dita turns a little green; Hibiki takes a step back in horror.

'That's… that's sick!'

'Sick? Bah, what do you think cows think of us?'

She gets blank looks from all of the others.

'Ok, maybe you don't have cows where you come from. The point is that animals you harvest for food probably think of you as being cruel, twisted monsters.'

'So people are cattle?' sneers Hibiki.

'Course not. Why do you think I drink this crap?' She tips the almost-empty bag towards him. 'To a new-born vampire! If you don't believe me, feel your new fangs. Look at your new eyes. Lift your Vanguard's weapons with your bare hands! '

'N-No…' mutters Hibiki. 'It can't be…'

Seras tosses the almost-empty bag to Hibiki. 'Drink.'

Hibiki stares at the red liquid. The observers could see the thoughts revolving in his head play across his face. Finally, he speaks. 'Never!' Dashing the bag on the ground, he turns and runs. Meia steps forward to stop him… Hibiki lashes out with his open palm, dashing her aside. Duero rushes to her side. B.C. climbs to her feet to chase Hibiki. Seras stops her.

'No, you'll just get yourself hurt.'

'But-'

'I assure you, he'll come back, if he runs away at all.'

'Why?'

'Hunger.'

-

Man, weren't them the days. Sometimes I get nostalgic for that time, on that lonely ship on long trip through space and time towards home. A journey I never finished. But there's no use in regrets; it's the vampire's lot to be regretful of the people we leave behind.