-The reason I survive - JC/AD
TIMELINE: Post season 6.
SUMMARY: Carter's doing well in rehab, when he gets an unexpected phone-call.
FEEDBACK: I'd love to get feedback. Criticism, advice, praiseg … This is my first real ER fic, so, I'd love to know what you think. So…please review!
JDISCLAIMER: As much as I'd like to, I don't own any of the mentioned characters. They are the property of Michael Crichton, John Wells, Jack Orman, Warner Brothers, Amblin Entertainment, NBC… and pretty much everyone besides me. =( Song used is 'Shimmer' by Fuel and I don't own it either.
PART1
ring, ring
A cellular phone went off, and the head nurse of the Atlanta Drugs Addiction Rehabilitation Center reached in a drawer and searched through several mobiles before getting the right one. That of John Truman Carter, read the small label on it. She picked up.
'Hello?'
At the sound of the old woman's voice, what sounded like a young woman apologized nervously.
'Oh, sorry, I-uh, I must've reached a wrong number…'
The nurse cut her off.
'John is currently attending a group session. I recommend you to call after eight, or, leave him a message.'
'Session?' asked the young voice, genuinely surprised. Composing herself, she finally said 'Well, uh, could you please tell him Anna called? And, uh… I'll call back later.'
'All right. B-'
She'd already hung up.
'Ahh, kids!' muttered the nurse to herself.
--
John was in rehab?? Anna couldn't believe it! What could it possibly be for? John wouldn't… or would he? No, it couldn't be possible. And yet it was… God! It was! What would he think of her, now, calling him out of the blue like that? Now he was in a much worse place than she. What had she been thinking?! Like he would listen to her ramble on about how miserable she thought her life was after such long silence!
But she'd gone too far to go back now. She had to call again…
--
'Anna?? Are you sure?'
John couldn't believe his ears…
'I am sure' nodded the head nurse. 'Now go, and be thankful I trust you, as I'm not supposed to hand you your phone' she added in a low tone.
'Thanks, Ronnie.'
He grabbed his phone and walked away, as a thousand emotions flowed over him. That's one call he sure would wait anxiously! What would he tell her? And how would he explain himself?
-
she calls me from the cold
just when i was low
feeling short of stable
-
Or should he? Did he really owe her any sort of explanation? He wasn't too sure anymore. *She* left him without warning! Never called! Never wrote! What could she be calling for now? And what was she expecting?
-
all that she intends
and all she keeps inside
isn't on the label
-
The tiny little black thing in his hand started making noise, and he instantly picked up.
'John Carter'
'Hi'
It was her.
What was he supposed to say? He hadn't spoken to her in years! He didn't have to ponder long over that, as she spoke up first.
'Look, I know we haven't talked in long, and I regret and… and I probably shouldn't have called, I had no idea you were in rehab, but I… I thought I might need a friend right now… and, I'm sorry'
John was at a loss for words and Anna was afraid of what he would say. When no response came, she decided to take the first step.
'Can we meet some time soon?'
It had taken her quite a lot of courage to ask that question she knew came out of nowhere. She held her breath waiting for what John had to say.
-
she says she's ashamed
can she take me for a while
can i be a friend
we'll forget the past
but maybe i'm not able
-
He didn't speak a word. Too busy thinking, staring into space. Instead, he just hung up on her.
--
Anna let out a sigh of defeat. She hated herself so much for putting Carter through this. He possibly was the only person in the world she still cared about. And yet she had to hurt him…
For a second she thought there was no way anything would ever be the same as before and she'd better stop causing him pain if all hope was really gone, but she soon dismissed it, as another thought dawned on her, that he would hurt even more if she just gave up and never called again, and she couldn't stand the idea. Once again, she would dial his oh-so familiar number…
--
John was deep in thought. Why had she called? And why now of all times, when she hadn't called in years? He didn't think hearing her voice would hit so hard. He wanted to tell her he was happy she called, and he'd forgiven and forgotten, but the thing is he wasn't sure he actually had. She'd hurt him pretty bad before.
He still vividly remembered the day she arrived, that very same day she came into his life and rocked his world. Everything was always alright by her side. He smiled at the thought. And he remembered the day Max came along and took her away from him, further away with every minute of every hour of every lonely day. And the day she stopped to call, that very same day she broke his heart. Now she called again, and John was as helpless as in the past, for he had no idea what to say or do. And again, his phone rang. Should he pick up, or let it ring? His head was saying no, she'd already had her chance. But deep down, he knew he wanted to. He knew he would hurt somehow either way, but one would maybe turn out worthwhile, and he knew which. And most importantly, his heart kept telling him to pick up.
-
and i break at the bend
-
And he did.
'Anna?'
to be continued…