I've had this idea since 316 but I wanted to see what life on the island would like for them the second time around before I started writing. It's going to be a little angstier than my other fic, but hopefully most of you will still enjoy it.
Just so you know, I'm ignoring a lot of the quadrangle stuff from Namaste, and keeping Jate and Suliet as the main pairings because I see no need to go there again! ;)
Chapter 1.
Kate let out a sharp hiss when she tried to sit up and her forehead connected with the bottom of the van she was working on.
"Juliet?" she called, her insides lurching again as she managed to scramble out from underneath it. "Do you know if we have a bucket anywhere?"
"There should be one on that—" Juliet began, gesturing to the row of shelves behind Kate, but before she could finish, Kate seized it, emptying the contents of her stomach inside.
"Are you okay?" Juliet asked her with a concerned frown, setting her wrench down as she crossed to her side.
"Yeah," Kate assured her, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. "I just… how can you stand that smell?"
Juliet sniffed the air, wrinkling her nose in confusion when she didn't seem to notice anything unusual. "What smell?"
Kate gagged as a breeze swept through the garage. "Car grease. Oil." She felt her stomach twist again at the odour that assaulted her nostrils, snatching the bucket back up just in time.
"You should go home, Kate," Juliet told her in sympathetic tone when she straightened. "Take the rest of the day off. I've got it covered."
"I think it's stopped," she insisted, relieved that whatever it was seemed to have passed. She wasn't sure how much more she could take.
She accepted the water bottle that Juliet handed her. "Thanks."
"How long have you been feeling nauseous like this?" Juliet asked her, motioning for her to sit down. She took the chair across from Kate's.
"I don't know – a couple of days, I guess," Kate lied, even though by now it was closer to a week.
It was the first time that she'd been sick at work. She usually managed to slip off to the bathroom before it happened.
Juliet fixed her with a thoughtful expression. "This is probably none of my business, but is there any chance that you could be pregnant?"
This struck a nerve with Kate, for more reasons than one. She couldn't be pregnant. Not because it wasn't possible, but because it would be one of the biggest mistakes of her life.
"You're right – it is none of your business," she snapped.
"I have to ask, Kate, because if you are pregnant, you're going to need to be reassigned," Juliet explained in the same calm voice. "You shouldn't be exposing yourself to all these fumes – especially during the first trimester."
Kate tensed at the thought that it might already be too late. She'd been trying so hard to talk herself out of it: what if the damage had already been done?
"There's a chance," she agreed, averting her eyes to an oil stain on the concrete beneath her feet. More than a chance. It was almost a certainty.
"Then I'm going to strongly recommend that you get a blood test before coming back to work."
"Can't I just take one of those home ones?" she argued. Simple. Discreet. All of the confusion and uncertainty could be over in five minutes.
This earned her a sharp look from Juliet. "It's 1977, Kate," she hissed. "Those aren't going to be invented for another year."
Kate's heart sank, the anxiety settling in again. She'd forgotten that little detail. She often forgot that they were in the past. That was going to make her situation a lot more complicated than she'd initially thought.
"Sorry," she whispered. They were supposed to be keeping a low profile, which was exactly why she didn't want to become the target of island gossip.
"This doesn't have to be the end of the world, Kate," Juliet assured her in a softer tone, and for a fraction of a second she considered blurting out the whole sordid tale just to get it off her chest.
But what if she felt that it was her duty to tell Jack? Where would that leave her?
Juliet checked to make sure that no one was listening before lowering her voice even further. "Whatever happened to the other women hasn't happened here yet," she continued. "You've seen Amy's baby."
"Ethan," Kate agreed, fighting the urge to laugh at the absurdity of it all as she and Juliet exchanged wary glances.
More than once, she'd considered saying something to Amy or Horace, to keep him from ending up as one of the casualties of their war with the Others.
Of course then she would draw unwanted attention to herself.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Kate," Juliet told her with a smile as she pushed herself to her feet. "In the mean time, try to get some rest, okay?"
"Okay," she agreed, even though she didn't know how she was going to be able to relax.
"Juliet?" she called before she disappeared back beneath her own van.
Juliet sat up. "Yeah?"
"Say I really am pregnant – how soon does morning sickness usually start?"
Even if she was pregnant, it didn't have to mean that it had happened that night. She'd been staying over at Jack's place a lot since then.
"That depends. I've heard some women say as early the first week."
The knot of fear in Kate's stomach began to shrink. She was right. It didn't have to be the end of the world, not when she was so close to having everything that she'd ever wanted. Maybe it would all work out for the best.
"Thanks," she told her, flashing her a genuine smile as she stepped out of the garage, into the morning sunshine outside.
"What can I do for you today, Kate?" the intern – who didn't even look old enough to have finished med school – asked her that afternoon as she sat in his office, dressed in a clean t-shirt and jeans.
"I… ah…" She opened her mouth, then closed it again, ducking her head to hide the self-conscious blush that crept into her cheeks as she remembered why she was there instead of the privacy of her own bathroom.
It was 1977. The sixties were over. Not only that, but she was only supposed to have known Jack for a few weeks. What would people say about her when they found out?
But her need to know outweighed her embarrassment. She lifted her chin, meeting his gaze with a defiant look. "I need you do to a pregnancy test."
She could see that he was surprised, the pleasant smile sliding for his lips. "Okay," he agreed finally, clearing his throat.
He got up from his desk, patting the bed. "Just hop up here and we'll draw some blood."
She pulled herself up, fighting the urge to be sick again as she watched him insert the syringe into her vein.
"There," he said, sealing the vial once it was full. He scribbled her name on the label. "I should have the results for you tomorrow."
She forced a smile as he taped a piece of gauze over the wound. "Great."
He helped her down from the bed, holding onto her arm until she steadied herself.
She paused at the door with her hand on the handle. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone else I came in," she added as an afterthought. She wanted to be sure before making any announcements, especially to Jack.
If it turned out that her and Juliet's suspicions were wrong, then there was no reason that he ever had to know what she'd tried to do… was there? They could just go back to their lives as though nothing had happened.
The intern nodded. "Of course," he agreed, eyeing her with a pitying look that made her flush again as he added, "I understand."
"Where's Hurley?" she asked Jack when he greeted her at the door of the house that he shared with their friend.
She'd spent the better part of the day wondering what she was going to say to him when she saw him, but she'd promised that she would come over after work.
"He went down to the games room, so it looks like we've got the place to ourselves tonight."
He raised his eyebrows at her, flashing her a lopsided grin, and she couldn't help but smile.
When he walked out on her, she never thought that they could be as happy as they had been over the past few weeks, but here they were again like no time had passed.
"In that case, why don't I make you dinner?" she suggested to cover her guilt as he brought his hands up to rest on her hips, just inches from where their baby could be growing.
"What did I ever do to deserve you?" he teased her, his voice low and affectionate, pulling her closer so that their bodies were almost touching.
She flinched at his words as she wondered this herself, hot tears springing to her eyes as she returned, "I could say the same thing about you."
He leant down to kiss her, and for a moment, she concentrated on pushing these thoughts out of her head, focusing all of her energy on him instead.
She wanted to come clean with him, to tell him what she did, but she couldn't, not when she still wasn't sure how he would react.
Without breaking their embrace, she buried her face in his shoulder so that he wouldn't see her expression.
Maybe he would be okay with it, a little voice in the back of her mind insisted as she listened to the steady sound of his breathing. He might even thank her.
Isn't this what he wanted? What they both wanted not that long ago?
But in her heart, she knew that the truth would only hurt him, and destroy the trust that they'd worked so hard to rebuild.
He would see it as a betrayal, and in a way, it was.
She never should have used him like that.
"You know I love you, right?" she told him as he released her, a pleading note in her tone. She needed him to know, just in case everything was about to change.
His smile grew a little wider, his dark eyes shining, and with a mingled sense of dread and relief she realised that he hadn't noticed.
Instead, he drew her in for another soft kiss. "I love you too, Kate," he said.
Please review and let me know if you'd like me to continue (or have any theories about what Kate is so afraid to tell Jack!), and I'll try to get an update of Brother's Keeper up over the weekend! ;)