Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own them, Joss and all the brilliant minds over on the
set do.
Spoilers: None really, it's set in season 7.
Song lyrics: One word - Velocity Girl
Authors note: Written in Buffy's POV
Listen to me
Listen to my story, will you let me speak, there is no epic glory, I just wanna say my piece, don't turn away, you'll never know what i say, you've got it backward, listen, listen to me. One word for every revelation, talk fast you won't remember anything, one word for all the resignation I'm not strong enough to say out loud, try to spit it out it's burning you up inside, just say it one word at a time.
Being friends with her was like regressing back into an old bad habit. It was so easy, so easy that it felt like it was wrong. So this time I was cautious. I steal glances at her and I think; this is someone who can hurt me, someone who I let close and trouble is never far behind. I think to myself; don't even look at her, don't let her see even for a second how much you want to be her friend, because she's fire and she'll burn you. But it was too late, I had already invited her into my house and just now i stand in the hallway steeling myself for what she is about to say, waiting for some explanation as to why she is here. Even looking at her I secretly crave her friendship; I feel a twinge of regret for the part i played in her downward spiral. Amongst the hurt that she caused me I feel a connected ness toward her. She is the best friend you wish you had, the familiar contentment that you get when you are overtired and think about having a great sleep and what that would feel like. But sleep always threatens to come at the wrong time and friendship is never as easy to maintain as you would like. Sometimes you are smart to be wary and I am very wary of her this time around. So I don't easily let people in. How can I afford to make a mistake of letting the wrong people in? Mistakes cost lives and it's my duty to make sure that mistakes don't happen, that lives are not lost. And i let her make so many mistakes the first time around. I let myself care too much and she tore everything I worked toward down, ruined everything I cared about. And it was more than just one time. Ugghhh ok, so it wasn't all her fault and i have to take my share of the blame, but can I risk it? Am I ready to really let her back in my life? Am I ready to share the slaying and am I ready to share my life? Can I give to her my friendship unconditionally? And is that what she wants? How can something feel both so wrong and so right at the same time? Too late she's left again, something about coming back later on. Should have been listening, this is where I stuffed up all the other times; I didn't know how to listen.
Damn, better go and chase her, but it's getting early and I have to get some sleep before the day breaks. Need to be able to focus at work, already had a hard night slaying, hope she'll be alright till the sun goes down again and I can go find her, somewhere else, somewhere away from prying eyes and those that sleep upstairs. Time for sleep again and then later we will have that talk that has been a long, long time coming. The talk about when everything went so wrong and if we want to even try to fix it.
Listen to me
Listen to my story, will you let me speak, there is no epic glory, I just wanna say my piece, don't turn away, you'll never know what i say, you've got it backward, listen, listen to me. One word for every revelation, talk fast you won't remember anything, one word for all the resignation I'm not strong enough to say out loud, try to spit it out it's burning you up inside, just say it one word at a time.
Being friends with her was like regressing back into an old bad habit. It was so easy, so easy that it felt like it was wrong. So this time I was cautious. I steal glances at her and I think; this is someone who can hurt me, someone who I let close and trouble is never far behind. I think to myself; don't even look at her, don't let her see even for a second how much you want to be her friend, because she's fire and she'll burn you. But it was too late, I had already invited her into my house and just now i stand in the hallway steeling myself for what she is about to say, waiting for some explanation as to why she is here. Even looking at her I secretly crave her friendship; I feel a twinge of regret for the part i played in her downward spiral. Amongst the hurt that she caused me I feel a connected ness toward her. She is the best friend you wish you had, the familiar contentment that you get when you are overtired and think about having a great sleep and what that would feel like. But sleep always threatens to come at the wrong time and friendship is never as easy to maintain as you would like. Sometimes you are smart to be wary and I am very wary of her this time around. So I don't easily let people in. How can I afford to make a mistake of letting the wrong people in? Mistakes cost lives and it's my duty to make sure that mistakes don't happen, that lives are not lost. And i let her make so many mistakes the first time around. I let myself care too much and she tore everything I worked toward down, ruined everything I cared about. And it was more than just one time. Ugghhh ok, so it wasn't all her fault and i have to take my share of the blame, but can I risk it? Am I ready to really let her back in my life? Am I ready to share the slaying and am I ready to share my life? Can I give to her my friendship unconditionally? And is that what she wants? How can something feel both so wrong and so right at the same time? Too late she's left again, something about coming back later on. Should have been listening, this is where I stuffed up all the other times; I didn't know how to listen.
Damn, better go and chase her, but it's getting early and I have to get some sleep before the day breaks. Need to be able to focus at work, already had a hard night slaying, hope she'll be alright till the sun goes down again and I can go find her, somewhere else, somewhere away from prying eyes and those that sleep upstairs. Time for sleep again and then later we will have that talk that has been a long, long time coming. The talk about when everything went so wrong and if we want to even try to fix it.