Disclaimer: I don't own the series, any video game characters that make cameos, or the people who made Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, however, I do own this fic.
Here, I will use the manga names, rather than the Japanese anime or English dub names.
Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo Don Patchi Poppa Rocks Tokoro no Tennosuke Jelly Jiggler Hepokkomaru Gasser Beauty Beauty Softon Softon (The small white character, who is so adorable) Dengakuman (Bo-bobo's archrival, with the pompadour) Gunkan (The blond guy who can lock people's hearts, and is Poppa Rocks's godson) Hatenkou (Gunkan's henchman, blond hair girl with a cross shirt) Suzi Gyorai Girl Torpedo Girl
--
A beautiful winter day, up on a mountainous region, Bo-bobo, Poppa Rocks, Beauty, Gasser, and Jelly Jiggler were setting up their camp site, so they can 'rough it' the following night.
"Guys, this is really cold..." Jelly Jiggler quivered, shaking violently. "I think I might just freeze up here!"
Beauty, who was dressed in a cute winter ensemble and a little pink toque covering her head, quipped back. "Why don't you just dress up like us, Jelly?" When she heard nothing, she became worried. "Jelly?" She turns around to see him completely frozen.
"WAH! HE'S FROZEN OVER!" Beauty and Gasser freaked out.
Bo-bobo, wearing a brown leather jacket, looked at the frozen ally, and became determined. "I'll save him!" Suddenly, his nose hairs started coming out of his nostrils. "Fist of the Nose Hair!" The nose hairs whip the frozen Jelly repeatedly, also taking off small chunks off him. Now Bo-bobo suddenly threw on a tuxedo. "Bo-bobo Presentation: JELLY ICE CENTERPIECE!" True to his technique, the frozen Jelly is now a Jelly ice swan sculpture
Beauty, with her nature, naturally freaked out. "THAT DOESN'T HELP HIM ANY!"
Poppa Rocks, who was wearing a scarf, chips off a couple of chunks of the sculpture, and puts it in a martini glass, and starts to drink. Gasser, wearing a toque and jacket, could only respond by looking at him oddly. "And that doesn't help either."
"Sure it does!" The orange candy re-assured him, as he took another sip. He suddenly became angry. "THIS IS DISGUSTING!"
The suddenly unfrozen Jelly Jiggler, now donning a white tuxedo and monocle, takes a sip of the glass, and thinks to himself. "Hmm... I prefer my own taste, when it's mixed with a little Chardonnay. Champagne makes it too fizzy and, well, taste like crap."
"Watch your language, fool!" Bo-bobo yelled, driving his fist...shaped car into Jelly, sending him flying into a tree, with snow falling on the lychee-flavored man.
"Uh, Bo-bobo, this is a PG 13-rated fic, so the grounds for swearing are basically good." Poppa Rocks reminded him, patting his shoulder calmly.
Bo-bobo was now twiddling his fingers. "Yeah, well, I didn't think it suited him in his rich guy impersonation." He replied sheepishly.
"AUGH! You guys are crazy!" Beauty freaked out, as usual.
The small orange candy pulled out a box, grabbed a pink wig, and put it on his head. Suddenly, he turned around, and he had Beauty's exact eyes. His vocal interpretation, however, was way off... "Oh, my name is Beauty! I'm 14 years old, and I'm the main female lead! I think that Poppa Rocks fellow is the shiznit!"
"SINCE WHEN DO I SAY THAT!"
He tossed the wig off, and stood toe to toe as he looked up to her. "Well let me tell you something, missy! I may be 130 sugar-charged MAN, but," he turned away, suddenly sounding dramatic, "I'm afraid you're just not the one for me..."
Beauty sighs in utter sarcasm. "Okay..."
"And since you had your fun being the main heroine..." Poppa Rocks turns around, sporting his Beauty look again. "IN THESE FICS, I'M THE HEROINE! Me! Me! Me!" He flails his arms in a girly manner as they hit her legs. Then, he reverts to his normal self, and sucker punches Beauty in the stomach. "So it's high time we start some training, missy!"
In a rage, Gasser grabs the orange star candy and throws him into Jelly Jiggler, as he rushes to Beauty's side. "Beauty! Are you okay?"
"AUGH!" Screamed Jelly as a large Poppa Rocks-shaped hole takes precedence where his body would usually be, and it shrinks him down in size, nothing but legs, arms, and a head. "Oh, I'm feeling this in the morning..."
"Well, looks like its getting dark..." Bo-bobo mused to himself as the sun started to set. "Well gang, let's head..." He then points to a wooden lodge that's just beside them. "To our rooms in the lodge."
"What! You mean we set up camp for nothing!" Beauty panicked, still holding her stomach.
Suddenly, Poppa Rocks held up the large chunk of Jelly he took out when he got slammed into him. He was sporting a beanie hat. "I'm gonna put this under my pillow, and hope that the Jam Fairy will give me a Raspberry Jam jar!"
A short stocky woman with a white tutu and hairy legs appeared before the childish candy. "That's right!" She spoke in a fat manner.
"Back to whence you came!" Bo-bobo cried out, as he summoned his nose hairs, and then charged at the supposed Jam Fairy and spin kicked her into the sky, as she disappeared with the twinkle.
"Whatever... I'll be in the hot tub if you guys need me..." Jelly said aloud, as he walks past them and into the lodge, and jumps into the readily available tub.
Bo-bobo, suddenly holding luggage for the group, quipped. "Well gang, let's check out our rooms.
The Bo-bobo gang walks into the nice warm resort, when they suddenly see that the hot tub Jelly is relaxing in, is actually a giant cooking pot. They also spot some gremlins underneath the pot, adjusting the temperature, just so they can cook the lychee jelly man. Of course, Beauty and Gasser had to overreact when they saw this, but Jelly seemed unaffected by the dilemma of it all, as he donned jelly pigtails, glasses, and make-up, with a towel wrapped around his body, like a woman relaxing in a hot tub.
"Guys, this bath is divine..." He airily stated, before he slumped in the water, where it suddenly turned blue right where he was.
"Yep, he's cooked." Poppa Rocks stated in a matter-of-factly tone.
--
Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!
It is You who Dances! It is What Opens up the Gateway! ... I think...
--
Three rooms border each other, each with two beds, a TV, a mini bar, and a bathroom, as the Bo-bobo gang look in.
"Mmm, diggin' these digs." The afro-ed man said aloud.
Jelly, angry as all heck and a half, tailed them as a puddle. "How could you just leave me back there! You guys are terrible..." He reformed himself, and whistled at the digs.
Likewise, Poppa Rocks yelled out, "I call this room!"
Once more, Jelly puts on his lovely school girl routine, and hugged Poppa. "Yay! Rocks, you and me, we're gonna be--"
"ROOMIES!"
Poppa Rocks, in school girl attire, and with his faux Beauty eyes and hair, started squealing incessantly. "Oh we'll do our hair, pig out on ice cream, gossip, talk about whose been getting fat--Oooh we'll just be great big bitches!
"STOP TAKING MY LOOKS!" Beauty understandably reacted.
"Face it, Beauty, people like it when I'm you! Right, my fan base?"
The surroundings pan to three people on a table. All three of them hold up 'No' signs.
Back to normal, Poppa starts slamming the ground in sadness. "I don't have a fan base!"
"Hey," Jelly said with a smile, and a crowbar in his hand. "Let's raid the mini bar!" Poppa Rocks cheered up and joined him as they attempted to jimmy open the easily accessible fridge.
Beauty sighed with a gasp. "To this day, I still find it odd how their emotions can be resolved easily."
"Hey guys! Check this out!" Bo-bobo giddily cheered, as he was holding something in his hands. "FREE SHOWER CURTAINS!"
Gasser sighs. "You're not supposed to take those out, Bo-bobo..."
While everyone else was admiring the neatness of the room, the orange candy opened a ground cupboard, and he started cheering with delight. "ALRIGHT! A GAME PYRAMID CONSOLE!" He posed a thumbs-up to the gang. "Let's have some much needed fun, guys!"
"That's not really needed." Beauty smiled to herself. "Being around you guys is oddly fun enough!"
"Y-you think so?" Gasser blushed as she smiled at him.
Poppa Rocks stood, as Bo-bobo was about to press the power button on the console, but then decides to slam it straight on Rocks's head. "AUGH!"
"What the hell, Bo-bobo?" The pink-haired girl gawked angrily.
Poppa Rocks suddenly became monochromatic, as he spoke in a monotone voice. "Powering on." The system on his head turns on, with the Game Pyramid logo on the TV popping up. "Game Pyramid... on."
"It's best not to understand them... I know I don't..." Gasser patted the still gawking Beauty's shoulder.
"There we go." Poppa Rocks calmly puts down the Game Pyramid, and then suddenly bursts into anger as he looks frantically all over the room. "WHERE'S THE CONTROLLERS!"
Jelly Jiggler, in school nerd duds, complete with swirly glasses, pulls out an instruction manual. "It says here in the instruction manual that the game console detects bodily movements, and then puts those movements into the game that is being played. So basically we, ourselves, are the controllers."
"So, you're saying that the system's sensors can detect our movements?" Said Bo-bobo, in a school girl outfit, complete with afro pig tails.
"Ohohohohohohohohoho that is correct."
Poppa Rocks slapped the floor hard with a wooden sword, as he dons a pompadour-wearing school punk outfit. "I don't wanna move myself! But then again, if we played a fighting game, could I actually hit you, and it would count?"
Jelly Jiggler answered with dread. "Sadly, yes..."
"I love ya, ya freakin' nerd!" Poppa Rocks yelled as he slaps Jelly in the back with his wooden sword, pushing a small chunk off his body.
"BODY-CHOPPING!" Jelly screamed in pain.
Beauty's reaction: "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!"
With the atmosphere back to normal, the gang sees a menu on the screen that says 'Press Start'. Bo-bobo shrugs, as his afro pops open, and a button that says 'Start Button' becomes pushed by the main hero. The only female in the room just looks strangely at them.
The screen blankly states 'Welcome... to the World...' The TV suddenly cracks open, as something slithers out of the cracks, revealing a humanoid entity consisting of living static, and wearing a bucket with a painted smiley face on it. The gang assumed fighting stances, assuming the worst.
"W-what is that thing?" Beauty asked in a nervous stance.
Poppa Rocks suddenly acted liked a kid, looking at the stranger with a deep interest. "It's our new toy!"
"I highly doubt that, Rocks..." Gasser sighed.
"Hey-lo there, all." The electric entity spoke with a distortion in its voice. "My name is..." It's body begins to spasm violently. "STA-tic-OR!"
"OH MY GOD!" Jelly wailed, as he pushed the figure out of the way, towards the broken entertainment box. "TV!"
Unfortunately, this caused our new visitor Staticor to fall out the window... "NO! THIS CAN'T BE THE END OF--" It was silenced as it fell flat into the snow.
"Huh..." Beauty said aloud. "Didn't think we'd take down a minor villain so easily or quickly..." Gasser nodded beside her. "Think we're making good time?"
Jelly Jiggler, instead of worrying about the fiend from the TV, started crying his eyes out, holding fragments of audio-box in his hands. "WHYYYYY! IT ONLY WANTED TO ENTERTAIN US..."
The lights suddenly go out throughout the entire lodge, and a stage light shines on a floating stage outside, where Staticor is. The being's demeanor was suddenly calmer, with a stupid top hat on top of his bucket head. "Now, as I was going to say before I was rudely interrupted."
"Sorry about that." Jelly apologized.
"Apology accepted. Now, I heard about you and your group, Bo-bobo. I heard about how you toppled the Big Four of the Bald Empire, using your teamwork and your infamous Fist of the Nose Hair." Author's Note: No offense to the dub, but Snot-Fu is just stupid "But I actually want to see your power first-hand, to see if you really are as great as I heard. So," Staticor started charging electricity in his hands. "Come at me, Bo-bobo!"
Bo-bobo also suddenly became invigorated. "Challenge is accepted." The blond hero starts channeling energy in his hands, in a similar style as Staticor. "I'll show you my chargeable projectile attack as well!"
"Fist of the Gaming Shock!" The bucket head releases his electricity, into a large cone blast, aiming right for him. "Static Statiker!"
"Fist of the Nose Hair--" Bo-bobo thrusts his hands out, when his nose hairs suddenly wrap around Poppa Rocks and launches him into the electric blast! "Poppa Star Intercept!"
Defying physics, Staticor's bucket eyes were bugging out "Weren't you charging energy?"
"OWWWWWWW!" Screamed the candy in electrically charged soreness. He changed his tone from pain to an unfazed guy, giving a thumbs-up to the afro man. "Good tactic, man."
"Bo-bobo!" Beauty yelled. "You should learn not to do that!"
Staticor laughed heartily. "THIS is his teamwork? How pathe--huh?" His Bucket-Vision spies the electrically flung Poppa Rocks hurtling straight at him.
"Eat this, you ass-backwards weirdo!"
"WHAT?" And before he could say more, he gets tackled, sending him right to destroying the stage.
"Go, Poppa!" Beauty cheered.
Poppa Rocks scoffed quietly. "Dummy..." Suddenly, he grew pissed as he grabbed a 30 lb. Rock and threw it at her head, leaving Gasser to pick her up. "EMPHASIZE BOTH SYLLABLES NEXT TIME!" Now his attention was turned back to the very-conscious Staticor, cracking his fists in anticipation. "Now, where were we?
"Who says I want you?" The living static taunted, brushing off some stray dust on it's static body. "Bo-bobo is my target!" It turns its static arm into an electrified sword, launching a large wave at the orange spikes. "Fist of the Gaming Shock! Electric Wave!" Unfortunately for him, Poppa Rocks pulled out a suspiciously blue rubber helmet, and disabled the entire attack. "HOW DID YOU DO THAT!" He retorted in disbelief.
"OH GOD! THE PAIN!" The no-longer helmet-shaped Jelly Jiggler collapsed on the ground, electrical surges surrounding his body.
In a magician's garb, Poppa Rocks twiddled his finger. "Ah-ah-ah... a magician never reveals his secrets." He grimly looked to the side, and pushed Jelly slightly out of sight. He suddenly pulls out lots of large top hats out of his main one. "If you want Bo-bobo, you'll have to find him! Now... Fist of Poppa Rocks Tributes..." the candy pulls out a Yu-gi-oh! Card, as he wears a wig with a plastic Yugi mask. "MAGICAL POPPA HATS!"
All five heroes are now hidden and shuffled in hats with standard 'Don Patchi/Poppa Rocks' stars on them. All that could be heard was Poppa Rocks's laughter, as his voice emanated from one of the hats. "We're hiding in these hats, so now it'll take you a while to find--"
"Staticor!" Bo-bobo yelled triumphantly, as he lifted the hat he was hiding under, and threw it into the starry night sky.
--
Meanwhile, a happy little star was twirling around the Earth, singing to himself.
"Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Me..." Suddenly, a large hat disintegrated the poor gas ball into nothingness. "NO!"
--
"Damn it, Bo-bobo! You just ruined the whole point of hiding in the hats!" The candy man started panicking.
"You want to see my power so badly? Then here's your front-seat pass!" Bo-bobo gets into his standard fighting pose, as a yellow aura channels around him.
Staticor, looking up from its fifth complete game of solitaire, stands up in the air. "It's about time! I was getting bored. Here it comes!" Very suddenly, the nose-hairs left from Bo-bobo's nostrils, and enveloped themselves around its body. "Fool! Gaming Shock Self-Defense: STATIC BODY!" As it charged its body repeatedly, it sends electrical jolts straight to Bo-bobo through his nose hairs.
"Bo-bobo!" Beauty cried out in worry.
Bo-bobo, however, ground his feet firmly in the air ! and began to shout out a loud battle cry as he braces the electricity "FIST OF THE NOSE HAIR!"
"Huh?" Was all the bucket head could muster before getting constricted by the nose hairs, feeling his life force being choked out of his painted bucket mouth. "GWAAAHH!"
Bo-bobo spreads his arms out, as the other four giant hats appear beside him. "MAGICAL POPPA CANNONS!"
"WHAT!" The other four of Bo-bobo's gang gawked in disbelief.
"FIRE!"
The four hats turn into Bo-insignia cannons, and fire the four screaming friends out at the entangled Staticor. "THIS CAN'T BE!" The combined force of their full-bodied tackles knocks the remaining fight out of it. "I see... It is..." Poppa, Beauty, Gasser, and Jelly all fell towards the snow-covered ground, all crushing the elastic Jiggler.
"SUPER TECHNIQUE FINISH!" Boomed an announcer's voice.
"WHEN DID WE HAVE AN ANNOUNCER?" Beauty gawked as usual.
The suddenly frail being floated lifelessly into Bo-bobo's arms. "This is the Fist of the Nose Hair... that is the real deal... Bo-bobo..." The black-white static clutched his hand
Bo-bobo carefully plants his finger on the bucket mouth. "Don't speak. Just tell us, why you came here..."
It was apparent that Staticor wasn't going to last long, because its voice was starting to become even more static-y. "I had to see if you were the real deal, because... The Bald Empire... They are corrupting the Games and World Wide Web as we speak... Many innocent people will unintentionally fall under their influence... Only you can save them..."
Jelly Jiggler, under a mound of snow, Poppa Rocks, Beauty, and Gasser, struggled in a futile effort to get free. "SERIOUSLY GUYS, GET OFF ME!"
"Quiet down man, we're listening..." Poppa Rocks silenced the lychee man.
"Save us... save them... Bo-bobo..." Were the last words of the being known as Staticor. His body no longer having energy, his hand lets go of Bo-bobo's, and he disappears in a sea of static. Only his bucket head, with X's on the eyes, remains.
"That poor guy..." Beauty sniffled, as she was in near tears.
Bo-bobo stood up, and jumped down to his friends. "You heard him. The Bald Empire is up to no good, once more." His voice was always best at carrying a determined tone. "You ready gang, for our next quest?"
Beauty, Gasser, and Poppa Rocks raised their fists in determined tears. "YEAH!"
"I'd be ready, if you guys got off of me..." Jelly commented stupidly.
Suddenly, the bucket on the windowsill starts to glow, and it then begins creating great amounts of suction. The battle-seasoned buffs held their ground from the growing intensity. Almost immediately, Beauty and Gasser become sucked into the bucket, their legs and feet disappearing in a flash.
"AWW the two love birds got sucked in--" Jelly was interrupted by the feel of his jelly body being pulled in, despite his grounding stance. "No... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And unfortunately, he gets sucked in too.
Poppa Rocks gazed into the absorbing gateway. "W-WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, BO-BOBO!"
"Don't ask me, Rocks my man! This is the start of our next adventure!" With his fearless attitude, Bo-bobo dives headfirst into the vacuum bucket.
"WHAT? What does that even mean, Bo-bobo?" Poppa soon jumps after him into the bucket. "Bo-bobo!"
--
Where will our heroes end up?
What is the Bald Empire up to with their new plan?
Will Poppa Rocks EVER get a fan base, with the way he acts?
Jelly Jiggler takes over the screen. "AND WILL I ACTUALLY MAKE IT TO THE NEXT PLACE WITHOUT BEING CRUSHED BRUTALLY!"
We'll find out next time!