I made a sequal aren't you all proud??
Who said I owned twilight? It was you wasn't it?! oh I am so going to get sued! I don't own twilight I swear!!
I guess having been through all I had and having Edward tell me repeatedly that he loved me over the course of one of the best nights of my life I should be happy. I'm sure most normal people would be extactic... Maybe I would be if Edward were actually here. I figured he would be here when I wake up to smile down at me and kiss the top fo my head like he usually did but no he's gone again. Maybe the very thought of what we did last night repulsed him and he deiced he should of let me kill myself last night instead of wasting himself on me.
I didn't feel loved. When he wasn't here I didn't feel whole, and now more then ever I'm regretting bieing so human. O how it hurt. I longed so much to go find the razor that I'd dropped last night and cut my foot but I'm guessing it wouldn't be worth the trouble. Maybe I would be able to die without having to look in a mirror seeing how ugly I really was.
I let myself hope last night when he told me so many times he'd never leave me again I believed him! I freaking believed him. I'm so pathetic its sickning. But even now under blankets and sheats attempting to shield my frail body from the cold wind blowing in through my window that never did get shut hoping for death I wouldn't change a thing. Even if he didn't love, even if I was still the pathetic human that bored him I was so happy I got one night. Just one night even if he hated it even if he regretted it even while it was happening I am too selfish to care. I got one night with my angel one night with my love and now even in the depths of hell, once I do figure out a way to die without having to get up of course, I would be hapy to just have been beautful for a few minutes.
Hell could have me tear me a part and burn me now and no remorse of what I've done would ever hit me. Charlie my father I wish I could have been so much more to him then just a suicidal daughter but he will be fine he met a woman in the office, Hilary, She was so nice and she cooked for him.
Charlie always smiled when she made him his favorite chicken with all the right spices. At least he wouldn't be alone.
My mother had Phil, My father had Hilary, Edward had anyone else but me. Every important person in my life would be ok without me around.
I finally gave up on the idea of suffication and put one bare foot on the ground slowly but surely sitting up. Goose bumps ran up my arms and my legs as I sneezed, sick wonderful. I swiped my eyes the rwemanders of sleep being wiped away as I put my feet onto the bare ground shivering. I rasied my hand to my hair to was tangled and wild. I was deifnatly not in the modd to die any uglier then I usually was. I stood up grabbing a robe and pulling it around me. I grabbed clothes from the dresser victoria secret pajamas Alice had gotten me for Edwards enjoyment. Oh how wrong she was, why would Edward ever need me to put on sexy pajamas? I'm repusive and stupid and ugly and... any other horrble adjactive.
I slipped into the shower ignoring the mirror and washed my body and my hair. But even after some intense scrubbign I coudl still smell him there. I could still see him looking down on me with such love in his eyes it hurt. I could still feel his every touch on my skin his every kiss. I could hear him saying all of those things that will never be true oh and I wish I could for one god damn second forget about the fact he isn;t here now the fact he isn't here to hold me and tell me all he primised was true but he's not and lying to myself will only make it worse.
I stepped from the shower dully my foot nearly slipped from under me but I placed a hand firmly on the wall to steedy myself. Maybe it was becasue I was so numbly doing normal things, maybe it was because I was contimplating weather or not ODing was worth it, or maybe it was the small fact I was not paying much attention to my surroundings that made me miss the figure standing now in the corner watching me.
I pulled on a bra and the black tank top and underwear. I began to brush my hair but winced when I looked in the mirror, I was paler then usual and I had circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep I had gotten over the last nightmarish space of time. The face staring back at me propelled me to chunk the hair brush at it. The mirror shattered my face shattered into a million little pieces.
And so I began to go into hysterics. I laughed watching the mirror break away. I may of laughed out of the enjoyment that I had just made myself disappear, or it could of simply been because I was currently a bit nuts but what ever it may be I was on the ground by the time I heard someone clear their throat.
I looked up but my vision was blurred by tears, from laughing or crying it wasn't clear which.
I wiped them quickly expectying to see come diranged killer, it was Edward.
Watching me like I would combust at any moment. "Bella honey are you alright?" He asked.
I looked over him, he had a change of clothes on, and his hair looked wet. I wondered how long he'd been in the bathroom. Long enough to see me exposed I suppose. He looked drastically nervous about something.
He grabbed my arm gently and pulled me to my feet, "Are you okay?" His voice was more demanding now.
I sucked in a impaired breathe to calm myself after a few minutes of breathing I finally nodded.
"Why did you break the mirror?" He asked.
Those eyes those topaz eyes coaxed the truth out of me, "I couldn't stand who was looking back at me. That pitiful ugly little girl."
His eyes went wide as he looked at me, his eyes scanning my body I was suddenly hyper aware of my lack of pants. I grabbed the shorts from the counter and slipped into them quickly.
Edward took my arms and lowered them to my side removing them from being wrapped around my waist covering myself. He put a finger under my chin and lifted my eyes to meet his, "That is completly upsurd."
I looked at him his lips hovered over mine, "Your so beautiful. I thought you understood that. Why are you so pale?"
I hoped he wouldn't notice I hoped to god he would just drop all subjects of my appreance and tell me where he went and hopefully tell me he loved me I needed to hear those words falling from his lips as if it were my water in the desert.
"I took a cold shower" I answered it was the truth I had taken a freezing cold shower.
"Why would you do that?" He asked.
I shook my head I hadn't a logical reason behind it I just took it, "I don't know."
His eyes bore deep into mine, "Your hiding something."
I shook my head panicy, "No I'm not" But he wasn't buying it.
He lifted me into his arms his cold loving arms and walked me back to my room.
The bed excatly as it lay before sitting rustled and still warm even though the room was just as cold if not colder then the outside at the moment.
He laid beside me arms still wrapped around my waist, "Bella please talk to me. I want you to trust me."
His eyes were so sincere it was hard not to tell him the truth, "I woke up and you weren't here. I thought maybe you regretted..." I couldn't finish not because I was mentally imcapible but Edward had firmly pressed his lips to mine.
"Isabella Marie Swan.. How dare you think I would regret it... Oh honey your so wrong... If I regret anything it was waiting to be so close to you. I didn't even think about hurting you I didn't even think about drinking your blood." His lips were on my ear tickling me.
He breathed and trailed his nose down my neck, "You thought I left you again. What were you thinking? Don't lie I can tell when your lying" He kissed below my ear.
I took a deep breathe, "I was wondering how to kill myself without having to get out of bed..." I answered sucking my head into his chest.
"Bella... Bella... Bella... Bella.." He said huskly as he kissed down my neck.
"I went home because Alice called me. She saw a vision one I'd rather she didn't have. She excited for you by the way.. Wants to take you shopping for pajamas.. I told her I didn't want to know... Anyway she obviously told everyone so I'm thinking that we should stay away from everyone for a while. Believe me you'll want to after the torturious morning with them. Emmett keeps thinking that I've grown up and fake sobbing. Rose and Mom are looking over baby pictures. And Dadand Jasper are about the only sane people around the house this morning." He sighed smiling that lucious smile.
I laughed his family were nuts I mean their happy for him if my mother or father ever even found out what I did I would be skinned alive... as if on que the door popped open and Dad walked in Hilary, My mother and Phil behind him.
Edward had no time to excape. I also found it very conviniant Hilary's two sons one sixteen and the other seventeen and her daughter who was fifteen were there.
It was a very good thing Edward was fully dressed minus the shoes and the fact his shirt was half way unbuttoned but still at least he had clothes on. I saw everyones eyes go wide.
"Bella are you ready to go shopping yet?" Alice called coming up the stairs. She looked at the group who hadn't moved an inch their mouths hanging open and their eyes wide.
"Not the best time Alice" Edwards silky smooth voice was slightly paniced.
"Your back..." Charlie was the first to speak in a disgruntled and angry voice.
Alice looked at me from behind Charlie and winked, "Charlie Edward and Bella were simply waiting for me to arrive as you can see that have done nothing Bella's hair is even wet meaning she's been in the shower she probably came in and laid down on the bed next to Edward and you walked in" Got to love Alice.
"Who are you?" Oh thats right mom had only met one Cullen.
And then disastor stuck, every Cullen Emmett leading came bounding up the stairs. "There she is!" He smirked and bounced onto the bed.
"Alice" I growled.
Alice put her hand over her heart, "I swear I had no idea they were following me."
"How dare you not invite me to go with you" Rose crossed her arms over her chest.
"Emmett stop bouncing on the bed" Esme glared saying this in a motherly tone.
Jasper and Carilise walked in looking annoyed, "Jasper I told you to keep them locked in the basement!" Alice whined.
Jasper sighed, "Rose picked the lock, Emmett tied us to a chair, and Mom left us there."
Emmett pushed me off the bed before I hit the ground Alice caught me I glared at Emmett who was hugging Edward and Edward was trying to excape his hold, "I get to snuggle with Eddie now."
Alice set me on my feet and put her over sized bag on the ground, "Did you sleep well?" She asked.
I grouned, "Alice.." I was cut off.
"Excuse me hi I demanded to know who all of you are and why you are in my daughters room at such an ungodly hour" Mom yelled although it wasn't nessasary.
"Oh you must be Renee I'm Esme Cullen this is my husband Carilise Cullen,my daughter Alice Cullen,my other daughter Rosalie Cullen,my son Jasper, My son Emmett, and you've met Edward" Esme shook my mothers hand.
"Emmett stop choking Edward" I sighed.
Emmett smiled and bounded up to me, he picked me up and hugged me, "She's only human Emmett remember" Alice growled.
He set me down, Edward stood up re buttoning his shirt, "Oh hey your wearing those pajamas I got you wee your finally seeing it my way now get dressed come on hurry it up I've still got to steal Eddie's car to go get mine" Alice smirked handing me a white cami and a pair of jeans with a pair of flats.
"Hold on! She's not going anywhere until we get answers!" Charlie was eratic now.
"Oh Charlie calm down" Hilary smiled.
I reached to take the clothes from Alice when she grabbed my wrist dropped the clothes intierly.
She was looking with wide eyes exaiming every crease in the pale skin.
"Isabella Marie Swan if you did this to yourself I will never forgive you" Alice muttered my parents wouldn't hear but every vampire did.
"Edward scencing my discomfort walked over and took Alice by the arm and said something to her too fast and too low for me to hear but by the way Alice looked at me sad but smiling I can only assumed Edward had rested the beast.
"Oh yes well Charlie was it you would like to know?" I could tell by the way Charlie looked calm Jasper was controling his emotions.
Carilise smiled and Charlie looked at Mom, "Bella honey are you feeling alright? Your father called and said you haven't been going to school and you haven't been eating I just came to see if you needed to go back with me for a while" No! Edward and I have finally reached a point in our realtionship where I could look at him and know he has accepeted everyone of my flaws and he doesn't care.
"No I'm fine" I smiled.
"So your back for good now?" Charlie asked I doubted he was happy about that.
Esme smiled and nodded, "Yes of course."
"My name is Hilary I don't think we've met" Hilary stuck out her hand.
Esme smiled shaking it, "Its nice to meet you I've heard alot about you from Bella actually."
"Oh Bella spends alot of time at your home?" Hilary asked.
"Yes her and Edward are dating" Esme smiled.
Mom reacted to this, "Still?" She asked.
"Yes they are" Esme smiled.
"Well these are my children Wilam Nina and Lois" The Cullen faces went to that of shocked as they looked at the three. The three looked back smirking as if they knew something they shouldn't.
Edward took my hand and suddenly I knew, The threes eyes were blood red oh this was going to be an interesting day...
How do you like it?? Good?? Bad?? Oh know!! Is it horrible?? Its horrible isn't it!!
Tell Me!!
Collections of a Tattered Soul.
The next chapter is coming today I really want to get it out!!