Hear My Heartbeat on a Staircase
Author: Krys Yuy
Prompt: #21/staircase
Summary: What was it about this damn staircase and introspection? Her left hand gripped the handrail tightly as she tried to find some kind of balance. Clark didn't play fair.
Pairing/Characters: Clark/Lois
Warning: Spoilers up to 8x22 Doomsday.
Rating: PG-13/T
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters used. This fic is purely for entertainment purposes only.
Author's Notes: Written for the Somewhere in Metropolis Challenge at 12 Days of Clois on LiveJournal. This piece feels a bit disjointed, probably because I had too many ideas I wanted to cram into one piece. However, I think if I tinkered with it any more I'll go just a little crazy, so I hope you enjoy it as it is. This is my first time posting for a challenge community like 12 Days of Clois, and I'm quite pleased with how much I enjoyed writing for it. The words came easier than I expected it to – if only my muse would be this cooperative all the time! This is also the first time I tried my hand at something from Lois's POV, a change of pace from my Free Fall story going on right now. This is my take on the Clois in Doomsday and one of my ideal scenarios for what happens after. Please read, enjoy and review! Thanks!
Lois hated the staircase at the Daily Planet. Specifically the one that led down into the basement. She didn't use to hate it before – it was an innocent part of the building that let her get to her desk. But then she realized what happened while on said staircase.
She wasn't aware she was doing it until after the crazy redheaded bimbo had made her little comment – one that Lois would have gladly stayed oblivious to.
"Oh, you may not know it yet. But believe me, there's a bond. And I could see it on your face when you caught us together. You feel it, too."
It was a few days after that bizarre episode when she found herself walking down the first staircase. Nothing unusual there. Then she stopped a little before the midway point and looked over into the bullpen, where she could see Clark. A small smile tugged at her lips and she went on her way before she froze in realization.
Her mind backtracked over her memories since Clark started working at the Daily Planet. The little habit she had developed became clear to her.
She would stop in the middle of the staircase leading down to the basement, and for a few seconds, just watch Clark work at his desk, typing away or perusing some papers with that furrowed brow of his, which, to her horror, she was considering cute.
Thankfully, it didn't happen often as she was usually at work before Clark – odd, really, considering he lived on a farm and she knew he was used to getting up before the roosters did. Lois was typically at her desk barking or sweet-talking into the phone – whatever the situation called for – to get quotes or information for her article when Clark would walk in, flannel-less and in big boy clothes. Clothes that made her realize that, somewhere along the way, Clark Kent had grown up.
He had grown up and somehow wiggled his way into her heart when she wasn't looking. She had become so comfortable around him that the guards around her usual walls hadn't alerted her before it was much too late.
She was aware of that tangible something between her and Clark all because of that psycho redhead. It was something she never bothered to label because Clark was her very good friend and nothing more. So she resolved to put it behind her. After all, the redhead had been a bit nuttier than the average meteor freak.
But the fates liked to work against her apparently, because now she had to deal with a coerced love confession. She had been able to deflect Clark, at least. But while he remained blissfully oblivious, she was not.
"Do you love this man?"
"… yes."
It dangled at the back of her head. Though her confession had been forced, it didn't make it any less true. Lois stood in the middle of that staircase, watching him for those few precious seconds, and knew she couldn't deny it.
She did. She loved him.
Clark turned his head toward the door, and one traitorous hopeful thought skittered across her mind, wondering if he was looking for her. When his gaze turned from the door to her empty desk, her heart faltered a little when he didn't look away for several seconds.
Enough.
She straightened her back and continued walking down the stairs. She almost reached the bottom when Clark's head snapped to the doorway and a smile bloomed on his handsome face.
"There you are," he said. His relief sent a little self-indulgent thrill through her, which she ignored.
Lois did her best to look unconcerned, perhaps even a little haughty. "Some of us have leads to chase down, Smallville. There's leg work involved in this business," she said, striding over and sitting across from him.
"Tell me where you're going next time," he said. Before she could tell him she didn't need a keeper, he continued, "I know you can take care of yourself, but… it's just safer, okay?"
"Concern noted, but unneeded," Lois replied. He gave her a look and she knew he wasn't going to drop it anytime soon. "I'll think about it."
Clark sighed. "Aren't partners supposed to keep each other in the loop?" he asked.
Her eyebrow lifted. "Oh? We're partners now?"
The corners of his lips twitched. "I won't tell if you won't," he said.
An echo of the past reverberated between them as they shared a secret smile.
Lois looked away from his too-blue eyes, but then her gaze rested on the staircase, reminding her of what she had been doing earlier. "Don't get ahead of yourself, Smallville," she said quickly, looking back at him.
Clark's eyebrows furrowed and she stomped down the impulse to reach across their desks and smooth them over.
"You still need to graduate from copy boy before you could hope to share a byline with me," she said, wanting to get back on safer ground.
Clark rolled his eyes, breaking whatever spell he was weaving over her. "Uh-huh." He turned his attention to his computer screen and she breathed out inwardly.
Lois spared one more glance at his face before diving into her own article. While she couldn't deny her feelings, it didn't mean she had to confront them either.
Avoidance was the new word of the day, and she readily used it to cloak her heart.
–
She wondered if this counted as stalking. Except Lois Lane did not stalk.
Not that her treasonous feet and eyes were listening to her. She had already paused in her usual spot on the stairs, the one step that gave a perfect angle into the bullpen but wasn't visible from there. She never worried that Clark could turn and see her.
The lines of his face had matured from the soft boyish curves she was used to. He was definitely all man now. GQ-style and piercing blue eyes aside, his warm heart and kind nature had made the leap with him into adulthood. Everything combined made Clark one hell of a catch.
She didn't know who to be annoyed at. Herself for noticing, or Clark for turning out that way.
He wore maturity well.
Focus, Lane!
Lois snapped out of her thoughts. What was it about this damn staircase and introspection? Mentally pulling her hair out, Lois made her way to her desk. When she sat down, Clark looked up and gave her a small smile before turning back to his work.
Lois thanked whoever was watching over her that Clark was preoccupied. She planned on putting the finishing touches to her city hall article before passing it along to the city editor. Brady was a stickler for perfection, so it was a good thing she made sure her articles were always the best they could be. After submitting her article, she could focus on the plans for her cousin's wedding.
A wedding with formal wear. Which meant tuxes. Which equaled Clark in a tux.
Do you have a one-track mind?
"Everything all right?"
"Hmm?" Lois looked up to find her desk-mate giving her that patented Clark Kent look of concern. She scrambled for an excuse and spotted the scribbled post-it note under her coffee mug. "Oh, source issues, y'know, the usual," she said offhandedly.
Her cell phone buzzed with a new text from Chloe. Lady Luck was on her side. "And speaking of!" she said before Clark could comment. "I have to meet him now."
Wow, so now you run away from your problems?
She scowled as she stuffed some papers into her bag.
"Need me to come with?" Clark asked, looking like he was about to stand and grab his jacket.
"The meeting place isn't Suicide Slums, Smallville." He tensed up and she sighed. She lied, "It's the coffee shop on Main."
"Oh." His shoulders relaxed. "Be careful."
She grabbed her shoulder bag and stood up. "You don't need to tell me twice," she said.
Clark gave her a pointed look.
"Yeah, okay." She rolled her eyes. "Just get that puppy piece done."
"Of course." He gave her an adorable lopsided grin. "Bye."
Lois forced herself to smile back, and Clark's grin faltered. "Bye," she said. She wiggled her fingers in a kind of half-wave.
"Lois –"
"Sources don't wait," she interrupted. "I'll talk to you later, okay?" She nodded when he opened his mouth. "Okay then." She hurried out the bullpen and up the stairs, only slowing down when she reached that particular step in the middle.
Lois hoped this running away thing didn't turn into a habit. There was nothing to be keyed up about. Clark was unaware of her current state of mind, something she was grateful for. It wasn't like anything was going to change. He wouldn't ever feel that way about her. They drove each other crazy half the time. Who was she kidding?
This is different. Clark is different.
Lois felt herself waver. Would it be so bad to take a chance? She shook her head. This was no time to think about romance! She had a marriage ceremony to coordinate. She'd get through that day for Chloe and not be distracted by tux Clark. There was no time for anything to happen during the wedding, anyway.
Lois caught herself staring again and looked away quickly.
She really hated this stupid staircase.
–
After Clark's no-show at the coffee shop, Lois got the message loud and clear. She tried not to let his brush-off bother her, but she could only fool herself for so long. It didn't stop her from trying though.
The first item on her list of things to do so she could move on was bypassing her pause in the middle of the stairs. If it weren't faster to use the staircase, she would have used the option of the elevator to get to the basement.
Lois let her quirky habit slide as time passed. Whenever her foot faltered on that one particular step, she soldiered on, not allowing weakness to take over.
And if he was giving her those peculiar looks that seemed to be increasing day by day, she ignored them. Her treacherous imagination must be running away with her because she had already given him plenty of chances, hadn't she?
It wasn't like Clark was the only man out there. Though that guy in first class didn't pan out – what was his name again? – there were others. So what if she didn't feel like going out with them yet? She wasn't holding out hope for anyone in particular.
However, Clark wasn't helping her case in moving on. Simultaneously sweet and aggravating, he was there to tell it to her straight. It didn't matter if she wanted to hear it. Sometimes she needed to, and he was always there. Why was he there when she didn't want him to be, but never there when she did?
Then there was the fact he saved her life. Stupid farm boy. A cold chill settled in her chest whenever the scene replayed in her mind. She almost lost him. The terror that swept her body when he jumped in front of her nearly crippled her.
In that moment, Lois knew her attempts to move on were just that. Attempts. He still had that mysterious hold on her. It simply made her more determined to shut off the parts of her that reacted to Clark Kent.
In any case, other things took precedence in her worries now. Like why her little cousin ran off with a fugitive and why she hadn't seen it sooner. She knew something was wrong in Chloe's apartment days ago. If only she hadn't been pre-occupied with her Stiletto stunt. If Lois had talked to her baby cousin, really talked, maybe Chloe wouldn't be in trouble now. Concern and guilt gnawed at her insides and she couldn't sleep.
Lois headed down the staircase to the basement, needing another caffeine boost from the Daily Planet stash. She already called anyone and everyone that could be a possible lead. No one knew anything and she wanted to punch something. It certainly didn't help that Clark wasn't taking her calls, so she searched Chloe's apartment by herself.
A movement in the corner of her eye and she paused on that certain step. She turned her head to the left like she had many times before, and her eyes landed on Clark sitting at his desk. He was leisurely typing away and irritation prickled her mind.
Lois strode down the stairs and kept her eyes on him. He was just sitting there! He didn't look the least bit worried. She stopped in the doorway and crossed her arms. "Chloe's missing with some beastie boy, and you're doing what exactly?" she asked.
He paused, sparing her a quick glance before continuing his typing. "No one wants to find Chloe more than I do," he replied.
She bristled. "Except maybe me," she said. "Clark, I haven't slept in days and I am dangerously close to a caffeine OD." She gestured to the coffee corner and waited for his response.
"I hadn't noticed," he replied dryly.
Lois didn't realize she had expected comfort until Clark's cold attitude slapped her in the face.
Disappointment abounds again.
She pressed her lips together and took a figurative step back, really looking at him. His brows were furrowed a bit like they did when he was troubled about something. He wasn't typing anymore either. Instead, he merely stared at his screen and reread whatever was there.
He was worried, too. Only he was hiding it for some reason. She nodded and said, "Okay." She walked around their desks. "Do you want to at least tell me about this little novella you're working on that's so important?" She thought he would share at least this much with her, but he closed the window before she could see.
"No." Something was off.
Even in her hurt and angered state, Lois realized that somewhere in the back of her mind. It didn't keep her from glaring at the back of his head, bitterness edging its way into her tone.
"Great," she said, looking at his stoic profile. "Another ricochet off the impenetrable force field." She stared at him for a long while, willing him to talk to her, but he said nothing. She looked away. "Forget it."
She turned to get more coffee, but when her hand closed around a cup, she took a step back. What she needed wasn't more caffeine. She needed to get out there. She swiftly turned away from the coffee bar and headed out the door, not even bothering to glance at Clark or say goodbye.
Lois made it up the first several marble steps and was about to turn right to head up the longer staircase when his voice stopped her.
"Where are you going?"
She turned around. "I can't sit around here and do nothing," she said, giving him a pointed look. He didn't even wince, and she resented his calm. "I'm going back to Chloe's apartment, see if I can find anything I missed the first time around."
"Lois, I'll –"
Her less than satisfactory conversation with him only seconds earlier had her nerves frazzled. "What? You'll what, Clark?" she asked, patience waning. "You'll find her? Bring her back and ask what the hell she's doing with a psycho like Davis Bloome?"
"I will find her and bring her back."
She looked down at him from her perch on the stairs. She wanted to believe him – he brought Chloe back the first time, didn't he? This time, though, there was a sense of foreboding that wouldn't leave her. It settled into her bones and she knew something terrible was going to happen. She didn't think even Clark's arms could chase that away if he chose to hug her.
But no. He was at the bottom of the stairs and she about five or six steps up, though the distance seemed wider and deeper than that. She didn't know what to say to him.
"Goodbye, Clark."
Lois turned away and only made it another two steps before she felt him grab her wrist. She refused to look at him and tugged at her hand, but he wouldn't budge. "What do you want?" she asked.
He squeezed her hand before moving to touch her shoulder. She closed her eyes as he turned her around to face him. She heard him sigh when he saw her closed eyes.
"Trust me," he whispered.
Her fingers curled at her sides. She trusted him more than anyone else. Even after everything. What did that say about her? Her heart whispered and she shut her ears.
"Do you trust me, Lois?"
A beat. She opened her eyes and stared into his face. He was only a step below hers and she was eye-level with him, perhaps slightly taller. They were so close. She was thankful he had let go of her wrist, or else he would have felt the racing of her heartbeat beneath his fingertips. She forgot his earlier coldness. There was nothing else she could say when his blue eyes looked at her so earnestly.
"I do."
It was like a weight lifted off his chest and the tentative smile he shot her made her pulse stumble. "There's so much I –"
He cut himself off and looked away, but Lois latched on to the emotions in his words. "What? What is it?" she demanded. "What's wrong?"
Clark shook his head and his hand dropped from her shoulder. "It's nothing," he replied mutely.
"Don't," she bit out. "Don't open up and then close yourself off."
Regret poured from him. "I'm sorry," he said. Indecision warred on his face and Lois was suddenly so very tired. He must have seen the defeated look in her eyes because before she knew it, his arms were around her.
The tears she successfully kept at bay began to gather in her eyes. He felt safe. How could it feel so safe and dangerous in his arms at the same time?
Clark pulled back a little but before she could do the same, he leaned in and brushed his lips against hers in a chaste kiss. Tingles shot down to her toes from the small contact. She blinked and a few tears slipped from her eyes in her shock.
He brushed the teardrops from her cheeks and she could only stare at him, dumbfounded.
"I've made a lot of bad choices. Done a lot of things wrong, things I wish I could take back," he said quietly. He gazed at her like he had done a hundred times before, and the hushed wonder in his face was never so pronounced as it was in that moment.
He leaned in again and her breath caught. "I will never take this back," he murmured against her lips.
Clark kissed her once more, this time cupping her face in his hands. His lips coaxed hers softly, urging her to respond to his careful ministrations.
And just like that, she fell into him.
With her eyelids falling shut, she kissed back slowly, drawing it out for as long as possible. Her head tilted slightly to the side as her lips memorized the feel of his. The tingles from before intensified, racing up her spine and through every limb in her body. Though the beating of her heart filled her ears, all she could really feel or hear was him.
Clark abruptly demanded more of her, but she didn't yield. She gave as good as she got. Her hands were on his chest and she trusted him to hold her up when she pressed herself against him. A touch of desperation tainted his pleasurable caress as his lips slid over hers. And suddenly, she was terrified to let the moment end because she could taste it in his kiss, in the way he clutched her waist.
She tasted his goodbye.
Finally, they broke apart to breath, each of them panting softly. She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his. Silence blanketed them. She knew there were a hundred things that should be going through her mind, but there was only the bittersweet moment washing over her.
This time she didn't want him to say anything. She knew what he would say.
Lois tensed when he touched one of the hands she had on his chest, her left one, but then relaxed as he took it and placed it on the handrail of the staircase. His hand rested atop hers there, his thumb making small circles against the back of her hand, and it was like his warmth was anchoring her. He laid his other hand against her cheek silently, letting his actions speak for him.
She bit her lip when he pulled back and her forehead dipped slightly at the loss, but she didn't open her eyes. His hand on top of hers fell away next. She felt his stare. Then there was one more caress against her cheek before that hand dropped, too.
Clark was falling away from her.
Lois made a grab for him but all she got was empty air. She hadn't even heard him leave. Slowly, she opened her eyes and found herself completely alone on her spot of the staircase.
Confusion and hurt flooded her.
What is going on?
She had the distinct impression she was being left out of the loop. Usually, she would let her loved ones have their secrets. They were entitled to theirs like she was hers. But when it put them in some kind of unknown danger, it made her want to scream. Her knees threatened to buckle beneath her as worry for Clark and Chloe overwhelmed her. Her left hand gripped the handrail tightly as she tried to find some kind of balance.
Clark didn't play fair.
A phone rang in the eerie quiet of the Daily Planet basement. Hungry for any kind of distraction, she hurried down the stairs, relieved that it was in fact her phone ringing. She picked up the receiver.
"Hello?" she asked, a bit breathless.
"Miss Lane."
–
A lot of things happened before Lois found herself on that particular staircase again. A fight with her boss before inadvertently traveling to the future counted as 'a lot of things', she decided.
It was perhaps a little annoying and a lot frustrating being supervised in the future by three strict heroes – well, two really. Garth was more star-struck than anything else, something Lois found both amusing and slightly freaky. He probably would have tried to get her the moon if she asked. She settled on a fresh cup of coffee every morning instead. Rokk and Imra were both quite serious about her predicament and very concerned about sending her back. Apparently, the timeline was highly sensitive, especially around the moment she disappeared.
They didn't tell her much, not that she expected them to, though it didn't stop her from trying to find out. There was some kind of heroes' code she wasn't privy to and that included tight lips, to her annoyance. She did know they were companions of the Red-Blue Blur. She also knew that she was somehow important in the future, even all the way in the 31st century. If that didn't boggle the mind, the fact that her disappearance was the reason for the RBB veering off his heroic path was more than enough to stupefy her.
She couldn't possibly be all that important in the grand scheme of things. Rokk, Imra and Garth – particularly Garth – however, felt compelled to dissuade her of that belief. They would send her back and she would help set things right of whatever had gone wrong. The irritating part was that they wouldn't really tell her what she had to fix. The vague and nonsensical sentences didn't help matters. Plus the whole "you'll know what to do" spiel never really made sense to her when she saw it on television or in the movies.
Still, that was what she got. That plus a one-way ticket back to her time, two months after her disappearance. They couldn't send her to the exact moment she vanished, something about the anomalies during that specific point. They were worried she could be lost in time. Losing a couple months or possibly being lost forever?
It was an easy choice, especially if it got her home, so she couldn't complain. They told her to simply think of a place, wherever she wished, and the ring would take her there to the specific time they programmed into it. When she slid on the ring – on purpose this time and not just over the tip of her finger – the first place she thought of was her staircase.
A bright light and one cosmic trip later, she found herself standing on the stairs of the Daily Planet basement in the middle of the night. She listened carefully as she tried to get her bearings and noted the relative stillness of the usually bustling building.
Home sweet home.
Lois steadied herself against the handrail and looked down into the bullpen, eyes immediately honing in on a certain bumbling copy boy's desk. Empty, of course. What did she expect?
What are the chances of him burning the midnight oil the very night you choose to zap back home? Come on, Lois, she chided herself. Get a grip.
She had to call everyone to tell them she was safe. However, she hadn't even lifted her foot to step down when there was a whoosh of air past her ears and a sharp intake of breath that drew her gaze down to the base of the stairs.
A man she almost didn't recognize stood at the bottom, scrutinizing her. His blue eyes were sharp and severe, though the dark circles beneath them said he didn't sleep much. His hair was a bit longer and it looked like he hadn't shaved in weeks. He wore only black, and she hated to see him like that, as if all the color had gone from his life. Despite obvious signs of exhaustion, he stood tall – confident and poised – ready to take on the world, but something was missing. Out of place.
She realized with a start that his eyes were empty. They gazed up at her blankly. She instantly wanted to either yell or pull him into her embrace. But that vacant gaze made her pause.
He looked different – haunted and so unlike the man she remembered.
"Clark?" she asked tentatively, unsure if it was actually him. A hallucination, maybe? Her mind was twisted then, to imagine her beloved farm boy like this.
If it were possible, he became even more still at the sound of her voice. He was frozen, blue eyes impossible to read. He stared at her as if he had never quite seen her before.
"Lois." His voice came out more like a throaty rasp, full of disbelief and uncertainty, yet still managing to remain somehow detached.
Worried, she called out, "Smallville, if that's really you, you can quit the dark avenger act. It doesn't suit –"
A split-second later, she was awkwardly stumbling down one step and into his arms, the speed with which he came to her simply impossible.
"– you," she finished lamely.
Clark clutched her tightly to him, his arms around her waist, face ducked down and buried in the crook of her neck. He held her so close she almost couldn't breath, but she didn't complain. Clark was here.
She wrapped her arms around him in turn and allowed the relief to finally flood her. She had missed him. Technically, she only spent a week in the future, but surrounded by the strange and unknown, she found herself longing for one person especially. She lifted her left hand so it could sink itself in his thick black hair. His stubble scraped her neck.
When he didn't say anything for another minute or so, she asked, "Hey, you okay?" Her fingers absentmindedly combed through his hair. "What's wrong?"
Lois felt vibrations against her neck and it was then she realized he was mumbling something. She drew back as much as he allowed her to, which wasn't much, so she could strain to hear him.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sor –"
She placed her left index finger against his lips, stopping his mantra. "You have nothing to apologize for," she whispered fiercely. She smiled, trying to lighten the tension. "Okay, maybe your kiss and run – only you, Smallville – which I fully expect to talk about –"
Clark kissed her then. Hard and fast, leaving her reeling when he pulled back only seconds later. "I love you," he murmured strongly, blowing her mind even further.
It left her speechless, but her brain allowed her to exhale one word. "What?"
"I love you," he declared. He pulled her even closer to him, left hand resting on the curve of her hip. His right hand trailed up her spine and placed itself on the back of her head, pushing her forward. And then, their foreheads were touching and it was so much like their last time on the stairs that her heart sighed.
Clark's eyes were earnest, begging her to believe him, and heaven help her, she did.
He didn't realize that though and kept trying to persuade her. "I couldn't say it before because I was stupid. I didn't realize- I was so blind-" He drew in a deep breath, wanting to say so many things, but his words jumbled together. He calmed himself, trying to choose his words carefully. "My soulmate was in front of me the whole time."
Her heart cried out in joy and she wanted to, too. Instead, she laughed shakily through her tears. "Took you long enough," she said, cradling his face with both her hands.
He cracked a small smile and she was relieved to see more of her own Clark emerging. "I'm sorry I made you wait," he whispered.
She shook her head and ever so slowly leaned forward to graze her lips against his. "I love you," she breathed.
His smile widened and lit his whole face, banishing the shadows from his countenance. Then a troubled frown crossed his mouth. "You're really here, aren't you?" he asked, his voice so small it squeezed her insides.
She needed to draw him back to her. "What? You going to take it back?" she teased, raising an eyebrow.
His eyes burned into her. "I will never take this back." He echoed the words from the night of their first kiss on the very steps they were standing on. She shivered.
"Good. No takesies backsies," she replied casually. "I don't know about your intentions, Clark Kent, but I plan on keeping you." Her right hand skimmed along his cheek before settling to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck.
"You have no idea how much I missed you," he said quietly. His eyes drank her in and it was kind of like drowning, in a good way. "There's something else I need to tell you."
He already told her he loved her, that he believed they were soulmates. She didn't need to know anything else. "Shh," she whispered. "You can tell me later."
Lois pulled Clark impossibly closer and she couldn't hide her delight when he met her lips halfway. Her hands buried themselves in his soft mane of hair as he tightened his grip on her waist.
She didn't want to ruin the perfect clarity of that moment. Chloe, the Red-Blue Blur, the Legion, the timeline… It could all wait a few more minutes.
Nothing mattered except her and Clark, kissing on the staircase she used to hate so much.