A Typical Morning at Jefferson
4/20/11

Jane slipped her chain over her head as she waited for Daria to walk through the metal detectors, then the two of them moved toward their shared locker. Jane turned and gave someone the stank-eye for scuffing the toe of her boot, then shot them the bird when they gave her the eye right back.

"You hear about BB?"

"If I had," Daria muttered around a wad of gum. "Would I care?"

Jane leaned back against the dingy lockers and watched the crowd with a sharp blue eye as Daria dug out books and stowed her large overcoat; she had been warned one too many times about sneaking food into class, not to mention selling tests out of the pockets in the girls' bathroom.

"Shawnika saw her at Planned on Saturday." Jane reached into Daria's coat pocket and snagged a piece of gum, ignoring the other girl's glare. "Said she was getting a pregnancy test."

Daria snorted, stepped back and took up watch as Jane moved to switch her books and dump the random crap she had accumulated into the locker.

"The stupid girl would save a lot of money if she just cleared out the feminine hygiene aisle of CVS."

The girls shared a chuckle, which was abruptly cut off on Daria's end as a couple kids came walking up to them.

"Hey, Big Mike," Jane greeted with a smirk.

After the usual perfunctory skin 'n bones with Daria and Jane, Big Mike stuck his hands low in his pockets and slouched in place.

"Sup?"

"Nathan." Jane shrugged. "You hear about BB?"

"God," Jodie, Big Mike's girlfriend, rolled her eyes and passed a hand over her improbable blonde hair. "If I hear one more story about Baby Brit and her trip to Planned Parenthood, I'ma pull my hair out."

"Please do," Daria snarked with an unusually vicious gleam to her eye. "Spare all of us the sight of that K Mart weave."

"Oh, no you did not-"

"Whoa, easy baby," Big Mike murmured, a restraining arm around Jodie's shoulders while Jane laughed.

"So what you think about BB?" Jane addressed the tall boy, who was at the moment checking his corn rows in the open locker's mirror. He shrugged, then shot the girls a rare smile, and spared a wink for Daria.

"I think she needs to stop smokin' that crack."

The three of them laughed, Jodie giving Daria the stankest of the stank-eyes and shooting the shorter girl messages with every pass of her baby-browns. Down the hall, Kev and Baby Brit emerged from the throng of surly students. Kev caught sight of Big Mike and barked a few times to catch his attention.

"I'ma catch y'all later." Big Mike offered his fist first to Daria, who tapped it daintily with her own, then to Jane who pounded it soundly. Before he moved off, Daria dropped a stick of gum, then a cigarette into his large palm. Mike tipped her another lazy wink, the corner of his mouth quirked in a tiny, secret smile. "Good lookin' out."

"And for your information, Miss Thing," Jodie called over her shoulder as the couple turned away. "This is all real hair."

"Horse hair doesn't count, Miss Jodelia," Daria called back.

"I got my eye on you, white girl."

"I know you do," Jane interceded, and blew the retreating blonde a few suggestive kisses. Jodie just rolled her eyes and parked her hand in Big Mike's back pocket. Soon, they were out of sight.

Jane sighed, smile hungry.

"That's my future ex-wife, right there."

Daria slammed the locker shut, replaced the thick padlock and hiked her backpack up higher on her shoulder.

"Leave it alone, horndog," she advised. "You know Jodie doesn't swing that way."

"Not that she'll' admit," Jane agreed. "But who says she needs to?"

"Down, girl."

Jane howled playfully, bumped knuckles with a red-haired boy wearing entirely too much bling, and the two disappeared down the hall just as the warning bell sounded.